Friday, June 19, 2015

NBA COPYCATS MAY GO SMALL NEXT WEEK AT DRAFT

The NBA is such a copycat league that if a team were ever to win a championship using a starting five comprised entirely of boy-band members, every other franchise would be out there, trying to acquire the rights to any Backstreet Boy or One Direction member available. And Menudo? Time to cash in again, fellas.

That characteristic makes Golden State’s 2015 title interesting for more than just its ending of the team’s 40 years of futility. Watching the Warriors dictate terms with a lineup that rarely included someone taller than 6-8 demonstrated the growing feeling throughout the league that traditional personnel ideas are no longer relevant. Center Andrew Bogut played in only four of the six Finals games and was on the court for a mere 74 minutes, or just 24 more than Festus Ezeli. Yes, that Festus Ezeli.

It’s entirely possible that if Cleveland had been at full strength for the Finals and had employed 6-10 Kevin Love at the four spot, the Warriors wouldn’t have been able to imitate an NCAA mid-major outfit and win without a conventional deployment. Then again, since Love prefers life on the outskirts, the Warriors could have stayed small and simply hung with the forward outside the arc.

The point is that before the Warriors vanquished Cleveland and continued northeast Ohio’s championship drought, many in the league thought Golden State’s style was more suited for fun than winning big. It was kind of like eating ice cream for dinner. It’s cool once in a while, but when real nutrition and energy are necessary, there had better be something more balanced on the menu.

That’s all changed now, even if LeBron James was playing with a group of players that couldn’t have beaten the Sixers without him. It seemed like every time the ball landed in Tristan Thompson’s hands, he treated it as if it were yellowcake uranium. As the series wore on, Iman Shumpert’s hair got higher, and his shooting percentage went lower. And by about the fourth game, pugnacious Aussie Matthew Dellavedova was back to playing like the undrafted scrapper he was. Ten years from now, no one will bring up the Cavs’ downtrodden state when assaying the Warriors’ title. They will celebrate it as a triumph of free-flowing, saturation-bombing ball and perhaps as the moment when the NBA abandoned its generations-old addiction to the classic big man.

Which brings El Hombre to next Thursday’s NBA Draft. For the first time in a long while (how’s that for research?!) the crop of newbies is loaded with tall people – and not just tall people who wish they were point guards. El Hombre is talking about real, live centers. Sure, some of them can “step out” and shoot from the outside, but they are primarily designed for interior use. Normally, that would be great news for the league, but thanks to Golden State’s mid-sized championship run, some teams may re-think their desire to have Gulliver in the post.

That means 7-0 Kristaps Porzingis, the pride of Latvia, could be in play for one of the top three picks, instead of falling to the five or six spot, as was originally suspected. Porzingis has a syrupy-sweet shooting stroke and range that extends to Moldova. There’s only one problem: when calling the roll of Latvian expats who have starred in the NBA, there is no entry beyond, “Nobody, Ever”. Porzingis would be the first, and though some make the argument that the preponderance of Lithuanian standouts would confer some sort of Baltic basketball brotherhood on Porzingis, saying that Porzingis will be fine since Latvia neighbors Lithuania is like saying Norman Fell could sing, just because he spent some time next to Frank Sinatra in Ocean’s Eleven. It’s a risk.

Guards D’Angelo Russell and Emmanuel Mudiay, however, do not seem to be potential busts, and given Russell’s expected proficiency in the pick-and-roll, and Mudiay’s ability to drive and kick, they would seem perfect for the NBA’s post-Warrior world.

Still, trying to predict what everybody will do won’t be easy. It looks like the Timberwolves are going big, which means Karl Anthony Towns or Jahlil Okafor. Towns is versatile and has that wonderful (gasp!) upside, but Okafor was described by one NBA exec to El Hombre as having the potential to swell up “like Kevin Duckworth”. Ouch. The Lakers sit in the number two spot, and it will be interesting to see if Kobe Bryant storms into the war room with a rocket-propelled grenade launcher and demands that he make the pick. Retire, already, Mamba. It’s over.

The Sixers have tanked in earnest to reach the number three spot, although how competent can an organization be when it actively tries to have the worst record in the league but only finishes third from the bottom? Whoever the Sixers take had better be worried, because if GM Sam Hinkie decides to trade wins for draft picks again, the pick could be Gilloolyed, in order to maximize the stink. At the rate this rebuild is going, Philadelphia would be wise to plan a parade route – for 2023.

And then there are the Knicks, who have reached such an advanced state of Zen under GM Phil Jackson that they no longer care about the outcome of games. It’s all about the journey. As long as that trip guarantees 25 shots a game for CarMElo Anthony, everything is fine. It doesn’t matter whether New York selects a player who combines the greatness of Wilt, the Big O, MJ and Lebron, so long as Anthony is on the roster, a championship is out of the question. And, while El Hombre is at it, all of that talk about players’ wanting to come to play for GM Jackson was nonsense. He managed outstanding players well while he was a coach. As a GM, he hasn’t a clue. If there is anyone who will scoff at the Warriors’ title’s being the harbinger of a New Way, it will likely be Jackson.

And then he can consult the Dalai Lama about what talisman he should have in his pocket during next May’s Draft Lottery.

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EL HOMBRE SEZ: Big news, NASCAR fans! Dale Earnhardt has proposed to long-time girlfriend Amy Reimann. Immediately after the announcement, Waffle House announced a nationwide contest in which folks can determine which of one of the chain’s restaurants will host the reception…The fallout from the recent FIFA scandal continues to grow. An investigation has found evidence of P.E.D.s in the post-game juice boxes of youth players in five countries. Outgoing FIFA president Sepp Blatter responded to the report by designating the offending nations finalists to host the 2026 World Cup…If anyone is the least bit upset that Russell Wilson is aggravated with Seattle regarding his contract situation, remember that he has spent the past three years providing high level performance for peanuts. He’ll make just $1.5 million this year. By contrast, the Bears’ Jay Cutler is due a minimum of $54 mil over the course of his seven-year deal to keep Chicago out of the playoffs. Get mad, Russell, get mad…That was quite a strong showing by Eldrick Woods in the first round of the U.S. Open at the Chambers Bay funhouse on Puget Sound. (Side note: where was the windmill hole?) Isn’t it time the golf world realized that there isn’t going to be any miracle major charge by Woods and let golf move on without him? Nobody on the tour fears him anymore, and PGA officials no longer make sure his every whim will be satisfied. He had his time, but it’s over. Deal with it, golf…It’s one thing to populate a front office with executives who never played baseball and quite another to let Sheldon, Raj and the boys think they can use their nerd powers to mess with another team. Then again, if players are going to juice, cork bats, apply KY Jelly to baseballs and steal signs, it makes sense that the Pocket Protector Set will cheat, too. Just as long as they’re not working on a death ray that can shoot out of the scoreboard, everything will be okay…It seems odd that El Hombre has to go over this again, but until the sports media learns what a real dynasty is, he will continue his vigilance. The Zhou folks ruled in China for nearly 800 years (1046-256 B.C.) The Bulgar tribes were brought together by the House of Dulo, which reigned for 2,890 years (2137 B.C.-753 A.D.). And the Celtics won 11 titles in 13 years (1957-69). Winning three Stanley Cup titles in six seasons is NOT a dynasty. It’s a great run, but please don’t succumb to the hype. El Hombre thanks you.

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YOU GOT A PROBLEM WITH THAT? Things are pretty bleak in the world of Philadelphia sports these days, but it doesn’t get any worse than the Phillies, who reached their most recent nadir in Tuesday’s 19-3 humiliation in Baltimore, their 18th loss in 21 games. After that fiasco, which included two innings of relief work by outfielder Jeff Francoeur, the entire front office, manager Ryne Sandberg and his coaching staff should have resigned en masse, or, better yet, subjected themselves to a hot dog cannon firing squad. This crippling hangover from the fat, 2007-11 period shows no signs of abating. Other than Cole Hamels, the starting pitching staff is barely AA quality. The team is last in the majors in runs scored, homers, OPS and RBI. It is still three wins short of 10 on the road. A franchise that was one of the best two or three in baseball during the aforementioned five-year stretch has become a joke. There can be only one viable solution: fire GM Ruin Tomorrow and Sandberg. Ship off all the bumbling veterans, no matter what it costs, so that fans don’t have to be reminded every day of their grotesque contracts. Start over, with proven baseball people, a big-league analytics department and scouts who don’t suggest spending the 10th overall pick in the draft on a high school player who has no National League position. The disaster continues, and there is no sign of its relenting.

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AND ANOTHER THING: Reports are surfacing that LeBron James has spent the past several months doing everything he can to make David Blatt look like Soviet-era puppet Janos Kadar by calling timeouts, making substitutions, vetoing play calls and making Blatt fetch sports drinks for him. This can’t be at all pleasant for Blatt, and it recalls the LBJ state of affairs before his first title in Miami, when he surrounded himself with yes-men and other sycophants who let him do what he wanted. It’s impossible for one person to be GM, coach and star player – not even Bill Russell tried for the triple – and James is proving that. Even if Blatt is replaced by a James crony (hello, Tyronn Lue), it still won’t help matters, because James will remain in control. Even stars need people who can hold them accountable and rein them in. Without that, they have little chance. This is a key off-season in Cleveland, both in terms of holding on to players (so long, Kevin Love) and creating a ruling class capable of saying no at times to James. If everything doesn’t go correctly, expect another year without a world championship on the banks of Lake Erie.

-EH-

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