Thursday, July 16, 2009

"The Second Half"

EL HOMBRE KNOWS SPORTS

While myriad theories emerge about the low ratings for Tuesday’s All-Star Game, and clueless Majoke League Baseball burgermeister Bud Sellout protests (ever so gently) the Manny Ramirez Minor League Victory Tour, baseball resumes its pennant races today with a “second half” that should provide fans with plenty of interest while angering mathematical purists who argue that 88 is NOT half of 162.

Sellout’s declaration that he wasn’t happy with Ramirez’s playing tune-up games in garden spots like San Bernardino and Albuquerque is hilarious. It affords him another way to blame all of the steroid problems in the game on the players’ union, which while certainly highly culpable, has hardly acted alone. Sellout is right (stop the presses!) to say that a 50-game suspension should be a 50-game suspension and that if Ramirez wants to loosen up before returning to the big time ball, he should do so at an American Legion post or a local semi-pro outfit. Since the Dodgers own the 66ers and (it was) the Dukes, Ramirez shouldn’t get an early furlough to get back into shape with those clubs. But for Sellout to make it seem as if the evil players are solely responsible for the loophole is like Terrell Owens’ saying his troubles with every team for which he’s played have been his teammates’ fault.

As for the All-Star Game, it was refreshing to see a 4-3, close contest that had some drama. If TV ratings went down because of that, then MLB should just hold a second Home Run Derby (even though the first one is getting ollllllldddd) and realize that fans don’t like baseball; they like highlights and asinine commentary. Look for baseballs to start flying during the Midsummer Classic next year, as their composition changes to include some of the same material that allows American Idol to keep bouncing back, despite dispensing ever-growing doses of inanity. If you weren’t interested in Carl Crawford’s catch, Joe Nathan’s eighth-inning showdown with Ryan Howard and yet another perfect ninth from Mariano Rivera, then you should be sentenced to a season of Nationals games.

With those issues out of the way, it’s time to look at the storylines that will dominate the remaining 45.679% of the season.

Yanks-Sawx: Get you tickets now! The teams only play 43 more times this season, giving espn the chance to show at least 25 special reports on how great the rivalry is. The fact that New York hasn’t beaten Boston since Bloody Sock Schilling single-handedly ended Communism doesn’t dilute the drama at all. Or at least that’s what the propaganda ministers tell us. Look for devoted TV minions to get the Yanks a wild-card berth and then fix the first round to allow for a Yanks-Sawx ALCS. Hello, Mr. Nielsen.

The Great Chase: Although Washington is on pace to lose “only” 114 games, there is still hope that the Nats can surpass the ’62 Mets’ epic, 40-120 futility. All it takes are a couple months of continued lackadaisical and uninspired play – think Adam Dunn in the outfield – and the Nats could pull it off. But there is some danger out there, since new manager Jim Riggleman could turn things around. Then again, Riggleman describes himself as a “softy,” so the malaise could well continue. The hope here is for 119 losses, so the Mets and their odious fans can continue to wallow in ignominy.

Fire Sales: While most eyes will be on the Blue Jays to see if they dish ace Roy Halladay (more on that below), there will be plenty of other teams trying to get rid of big salaries in the name of rebuilding. The Pirates could let just about anybody go, including Manny Sanguillen, Dave Parker and Dock Ellis’ acid peddler. The Nationals will be holding a tag sale, and all prices are negotiable. San Diego will still try to deal Jake Peavy (with little success), and the Indians are heading to the trading post. As usual, just about any Oriole can be had in return for some mannequins to put in the seats.

Friendly Confounds: After choking last post-season, the Cubs were supposed to mount a strong charge to the pennant and perhaps even win the World Series. Instead, they find themselves mired in a gooey NL Central race, struggling to keep pace with the Happiest Place on Earth Cardinals, whose errors even receive standing ovations from the country’s softest fans. Lou Piniella is calling his players names. The big guns can’t hit. The best pitchers don’t win. But at least the beer’s cold. Look for a rally, but in the end, more disappointment defines the Cubbies.

Wild West: Since most fans can’t name a combined 10 players on the Mariners, Rangers and Angels, the AL West race is getting no attention. But things could get pretty interesting, particularly if Ichiro and Seattle keep winning. The Angels have the best all-around talent, but Texas sure can mash. And Rangers’ ace Kevin Millwood doesn’t look so out of shape anymore. L.A. will probably win, but things could be interesting here in September. Too bad fans will need a satellite dish or premium cable package to see it all.

Reboot: With “half” the season gone, it’s appropriate to re-think the division races and make some predictions. American League division winners: Boston, Chicago, L.A. Wild Card: Yankees. National League division winners: Philadelphia, St. Louis, L.A. Wild Card: Cubs. ALDS: Boston over Chicago; L.A. over New York. ALCS: Boston over L.A. NLDS: Philadelphia over Chicago; L.A. over St. Louis. NLCS: L.A. over Philadelphia. World Series: Boston over L.A.

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EL HOMBRE SEZ: Great line from a Western Conference executive about why the Clippers will sign Allen Iverson: “Because it makes absolutely no sense.” Anybody who thinks one of the most selfish players in NBA history will accept a team role is crazy…Cowboy QB has finally decided to end this chapter of the drama surrounding his return. He’ll let everyone know by July 30. Of course, that doesn’t exactly satisfy the Vikings, who would like an earlier decision, but why should Brett Favre care about them? This is a personal matter between him and his ego…You can root for Tiger or Paddy or any of the others at Turnberry this weekend. El Hombre is pulling for the course, which should claim plenty of self-esteem and reduce normally reasonable men to near tears. At least they can weep into some top-flight Scotch…The NHL announced Wednesday that Boston and Philadelphia will play Jan. 1, 2010 at Fenway Park in the only hockey game to which anybody will pay attention. No word on whether new Flyers goon, er defenseman, Chris Pronger will try to grind anybody into the Green Monster. In other hockey news, NBC has agreed to keep televising NHL games through the 2010-11 season. The league did have to make one major concession in order to keep its flagging product on network TV: the best-of-seven Stanley Cup Finals series will be played over four consecutive days in the morning. Game On!...NASCAR’s Jeremy Mayfield tested positive again for methamphetamine and promptly denied the charge, even though his stepmother reported that she had seen him take meth 30 times over a seven-year period. That didn’t sit well with the high-strung driver, who said, “that [nasty term for a woman] is trash and has got nothing on me but lies.” Mayfield then excused himself and went for a practice lap – the wrong way around the track. Ah, wholesome family entertainment…The savior of American soccer, David Beckham, is back in action Thursday night for the Galaxy, amidst rumors that he was a bad captain and didn’t care about his team. Beckham denied he dissed his mates, although he was overheard asking a Galaxy official, “When do Number Four and Whatsisname get in the game?”

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YOU GOT A PROBLEM WITH THAT? If the Phillies think they have solved their starting pitching problems by signing a 37-year old (or so he says) who has trouble getting past the sixth inning, strained his shoulder during tryouts and hasn’t pitched a complete season since 2005, then GM Ruben Amaro has been possessed by the ghost of Ed Wade. Unless the Phils are trying to overload their bullpen and think sterling J.A. Happ will continue to be their ace, then asking Pedro Martinez to go every fifth day is a mistake. Let’s hope this is a relatively inexpensive stopgap solution to a problem that needs a real answer: Roy Halladay. While the Phils wring their hands about what to offer the Blue Jays in return for the big-time ace, consider that the franchise hasn’t produced one homegrown standout pitcher who sustained excellence over five years or more in decades. Halladay, meanwhile, has won 20 games twice and 19 once during the past seven years, has maintained an ERA of below 3.00 in the run-happy American League, and sounds like he’s looking for a new address. The worst-case scenario is that he pitches this season and the next for the Phillies, giving them a true righthanded stopper on a team that leans more left than Julius and Ethel Rosenberg. In a perfect world, he signs a three-year extension and becomes a true bulwark of the future. If that means giving up Kyle Drabek and Joe Savery, Lou Marson and Jason Donald, Carlos Carasco and anybody else but Michael Taylor, DO IT!!! Professional sports are about winning now, and if Amaro wants to worry about what happens in five years, he should go work for the Pirates. Pedro makes for good copy, but Halladay will help the Phillies win another pennant.

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AND ANOTHER THING: Since Nike and LeBron James decided to deprive the world of Xavier player Jordan Crawford’s dunk over the Cavalier star, we must rely on the reports of those who were there to learn what really happened. (El Hombre isn’t sure this is what Nike had in mind when it unveiled the “Witness” ad campaign for James.) One camper present was Michigan guard Manny Harris, who provides this exclusive account. “It was pretty good. [Crawford] actually drove past his guy, and he was already in the air. LeBron saw that he was in the air, and he tried to block [the dunk]. At that point, it’s tough to block a guy, because [Raymond] was already in the air. But [James] got dunked on. Afterward, [Michael] Jordan made some noise, and so did the high school kids. LeBron kept his composure and acted like nothing happened.” Thank you, Manny, for letting us in on what happened, since James and Nike chickened out. On the one hand, it’s understandable how the player and sponsor want to protect his image, especially in this YouTube world. But don’t you think this would have gone away faster had James and Nike released the video, congratulated the kid and moved on? What are they afraid of? Guess humility and the ability to laugh at one’s self aren’t part of the LBJ package. One thing’s for certain: Had that happened to Jordan in his prime, he wouldn’t have squelched the video. He would have just abused Crawford for the rest of the game and then showed up for every Xavier practice this season looking to play one-on-one. That’s how a competitor does it.

-EH-

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