PLAYS OF WINE AND ROSES

EL HOMBRE KNOWS SPORTS

            Over the past couple years, the NFL – with significant help from its propaganda partners – has tried to create new stars that fans will clamor to see live and on their gigantic flat screens. Every new draft class brings a collection of guaranteed future stars, who are subsequently promoted and hype until they reveal themselves as ordinary football players. After that, the machine takes a rest and recalibrates to glorify another crop of newcomers, each of whom is destined for the same fate.       

            El Hombre even has a term for it: The Peyton Manning Effect. Ever since old Number 18 headed off into a life of retirement and insurance commercials, the NFL has lacked a lead dog capable of attracting eyes every time he yells “Omaha!” Sure, Dreamy Tom is an A-lister, but so many people despise him and Captain Hoodie that it’s hard to make him the league’s face. Aaron Rodgers has done a pretty good job with the star thing, and he even has his own TV commercial. But he’s no Peyton. So, who’s left? Cam Newton? Too unpredictable. Big Ben? Too boring. Eli? Come on.

            The league has a decided lack of star power these days. Even the wideouts, who were once divas worthy of constant attention, have lost their glitter. Quick, who led the NFL in receptions last year? Jarvis Landry (112). Yawn. Who had the most receiving TDs? DeAndre Hopkins (13). Snooz. Sure, OBJ is still out there doing wild stuff, but compared to Me-O. and Chad OchoCrazy, he’s tame.

            So, when three of the league’s top QBs – Rodgers, Deshaun Watson and Carson Wentz – went down last year with serious injuries, the NFL became concerned. Having low star wattage is bad enough. Losing some twinkle to injury is worse. Rodgers’ broken collarbone was most disconcerting, because it came when Vikings linebacker Anthony Barr slammed him to the turf with as much force as he could summon. It was a clean football play, but it sure woke them up on Park Avenue.

            During the off-season, the folks in power decided it was imperative to protect the only players in the league with a chance to light up the marquee: the quarterbacks. So, they drafted new guidelines regarding hitting the fellas under center and hoped everything would be all right. Three weeks into the season, they sure aren’t.    

            The spate of roughing-the-passer penalties has upset fans and media alike. Memes have sprouted showing the “proper” way to sack a quarterback and usually include things like moonlight, roses and champagne. Meanwhile, the league has stood firmly in the face of the criticism, and commissioner-in-exile Roger Goodfornothing has remained in the witless protection program. It’s not hard to understand the NFL’s reasoning. It didn’t want to lose any more QBs, not with criticism coming from all sides and 2017 TV ratings for Sunday, Monday and Thursday Night Football on the slide.

            Although team revenues are up, and franchise values continue to grow, the sport is losing some of its status as the undisputed heavyweight sporting champion. Fans are fickle, and despite their deep love of football and desire to remain isolated from their families every Sunday, their attention can indeed be diverted, especially when Peyton isn’t around to throw a few TD passes at 4 p.m. Eastern each week. The new sack rule isn’t about the quarterback’s well-being as much as it is the NFL’s attempt to preserve its popularity by keeping upright those who play the most important position in all of sports. Let the running backs and offensive linemen tear their bodies to shreds, but by all means protect the guy who passes the ball.

            It’s not a foolproof plan, because sometimes QBs do foolish things. San Francisco’s Jimmy Garoppolo could have avoided an ACL tear by running out of bounds. And Buffalo’s Josh Allen didn’t have to hurdle a Vikings player last week. (Fortunately for the Bills, he escaped injury.) But the NFL is trying to control what it can control.

            The amusing thing is that after years of people’s complaining that the violence in the league is causing players to suffer from CTE and other crippling conditions down the road, many of the same folks are clamoring for big collisions again.

            Meanwhile, don’t expect the NFL to change things this year. It is happy to protect its most valued assets, no matter how vociferous the criticism becomes. There might be some tweaks to the rule during the off-season, but for now, expect to see more flags. And when one flies during a key playoff moment, there could be rioting.

            It might be so loud that Goodfornothing will hear it on the 13^th green at Pine Valley.

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            EL HOMBRE SEZ: Because the Tigers finish their season with a series in Milwaukee, Detroit fans won’t have another opportunity this year to sidle up to the Comerica Park concession stand of their choice and order a pizza with pepperoni and extra loogie. What a heartwarming story of a kitchen worker found to have been spitting on the people’s food…People are making fun of Kawhi Leonard’s odd laugh during his media day press availability, but they should definitely give the newest Raptor star a break. He’s in Canada, for crying out loud. It’s already ice-fishing season up there…Minnesota guard Jimmy Butler, apparently tired of playing 49 minutes a night for Tom Thibodeau, wants a trade, and most of the NBA is lining up to get him. Caveat emptor, folks. Butler has health problems (knee) and is a free agent who will want to put up big numbers this year. Let’s hope the league GMs realize that the goal is to win games, not just pile up fantasy points…The Ryder Cup is in Paris this weekend for Europe’s biennial chance to prove that it is better than the United States in something besides history. It’s a great atmosphere, and the French fans have promised not to surrender unless the U.S. gets a four-point lead.

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            YOU GOT A PROBLEM WITH THAT? Loyal El Hombre readers (both of you) remember that a little more than a month ago EH informed you that the Phillies season was over. Kaput. El Hombre loves it when El Hombre is correct. Anyway, as the off-season beckons, it is instructive to remember that the Philadelphia area had four-plus months of competitive baseball to enjoy but also plenty of questions ahead. As GM Matt Klentanalytics and owner John “All In” Middleton try to decide how much cash to throw at Manny Machado and/or Bryce Hairdo, Skipper Gabe will spend the off-season gushing about how well his guys “presented” throughout the year and figuring out new, inventive ways to flabbergast baseball fans. If you thought pinch-hitting for Scott Kingery in the second inning was wild, just wait until Skipper Gabe institutes Opposite Day, when every member of the lineup has to throw with his off hand. That ought keep the other guys guessing. Skipper Gabe’s biggest problem is that he never demonstrated any overt frustration with his team, even when players like Planet Odubel Herrera piled up the bonehead errors. Sure, Philadelphia fans have softened over the past several years, as much due to the Processheads who didn’t mind watching minor league basketball for four years as anything else, but they still demand some reality when their team plays poorly. Skipper Gabe just wouldn’t do that, so he was unable to connect with the fan base. He’ll continue to do the same thing next year, but unless he has better players at his disposal – and a lot of them – he will be back to his maddening ways. Of course, if Hairdo and Machado are slugging 40 homers each, it won’t matter how he or anybody else presents, because the Phils will be a playoff team.

            P.S. The best description of the Flyers’ new shaggy mascot “Gritty” that El Hombre saw is that he is Phillie Phanatic’s Delco cousin. Priceless.

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            AND ANOTHER THING: Now that Kelly Bryant has learned that Clemson coach Dabo Swinney prefers freshman Trevor Lawrence at quarterback instead of him, he has decided to head elsewhere to finish his career. Some have said Bryant doesn’t want to compete with Lawrence, which is preposterous, since he has been doing just that since the 2018 version of Ronnie “Sunshine” Bass arrived on campus in January. Swinney isn’t going to play two QBs, and Lawrence is clearly a big talent, so Bryant wants to go somewhere where he can start. Thanks to the NC2A’s new redshirt rule, since Bryant has only played four games, he won’t have to sit out next year before taking the field. Of course, Alabama coach Nick Saban wasn’t too happy about this, saying that it could become a “slippery slope”. Sure, Nick, it’s a bad scene all right. College athletes don’t get shares of the millions that come in to schools thanks to their efforts and aren’t allowed to leave for another opportunity without sitting out a season. Meanwhile, coaches can jump from job-to-job (and higher-payday-to-higher-payday) without any penalty. Bryant has every right to find a better situation for himself, and if life becomes a little slippery for Saban and his chums because of that, it’s – in the words of El Padre – too damn bad.

-EH-

HARDLY A SMASHING DEBUT

EL HOMBRE KNOWS SPORTS

            When Warden Rudolph Hazen asked Paul “Wrecking” Crewe how his football team of guards could prepare for its upcoming season, Crewe has a simple solution:

            A tune-up game.

            You know, find a young, hungry team to square off against and get ready for the tilts that matter.

             “How do you think we’d do against the pros?” Hazen asks.

            “That team against the pros?” Crewe responds.

            “Yeah.”

            “Well, you’d have a real problem.”

            “Well, how do you think we’d do against the cons?”

            A game is scheduled, hijinks ensue, and Ray Nitschke’s character has some problems with his, um, equipment. If you haven’t seen “The Longest Yard” (the 1974 version, not the lesser, ’05 remake), do so at your earliest convenience. But El Hombre isn’t going to spoil the outcome here.

            The guards may not have had their team honed to “a fine edge” in the contest, but they did get a tune-up, just like NFL teams do when they saunter through their four-game exhibition season. The problem is that as time goes on, and regular players get fewer and fewer serious reps in those “competitions”, that month run-up to the Real Thing proves to be less fruitful each season.

            Take the first week of the ’18 NFL campaign, which keeping with El Hombre’s movie theme could well have been entitled “The Big Sleep”. If the 16 curtain-raising contests presented by the country’s official Church of Sport were meant to be fully formed football offerings, then the league fell far short of its goal. Not even the blindest fan could have slogged through week one and had a good feeling about the caliber of ball he just witnessed. Between the penalties, turnovers and other assorted gaffes, the NFL’s membership looked less prepared than did Maximum Leader’s UCLA squad in its debut face-plant against Cincinnati in the Rose Bowl.

            A simple survey of the “action” revealed a league in need of a serious pre-season reboot. Maybe the number of exhibition games should be reduced to two, with productive inter-squad scrimmages’ replacing the other half of the tune-up schedule. Perhaps the league must mandate a certain amount of time played by healthy regulars during the four contests, which of course could lead to some quite creative injury list entries. It won’t be easy, and it will require some heavy-duty bargaining with the players, but if the NFL wants to stem the TV ratings slide and prevent the Real Point Guards of the NBA reality series from supplanting it in the sacred 25-to-42 demographic, a solution must be found to prevent another premiere week like the one we just endured.

            How bad was it? Well, the NFL started it all off last Thursday with the Super Bowl champion Eagles’ hosting those Atlanta Falcons, whose offensive woes inside opponents’ 20-yard lines could just force the team to get rid of red as one of its primary colors. After the city’s 99^th celebration of the win over Captain Hoodie and Dreamy Tom, the teams went about the business of committing so many penalties that the U.S. Congress is thinking of changing Flag Day from June 14 to Sept. 6 to commemorate the blizzard of markers. The whole thing was uglier than a Phyllis Diller look-alike contest.

            Two days later, Pittsburgh and Cleveland presented their Ode to Medusa with a surreal tie that featured the Le’Veon Bell-less Stillers’ blowing a two-touchdown lead with a pair of crippling turnovers. The teams spent the last portion of the game and the 10-minute overtime blowing field goals, committing mindless penalties (El Hombre is talking to you, Myles Garrett) and throwing ill-advised deep balls (ditto: Tyrod Taylor). The resulting tie was the Clowns’ best season-opening performance since 2004, a condition that should lead management to consider exhuming franchise founder Paul Brown and seeing if he can be reanimated and dispatched to the sidelines.

            Tampa Bay, which was thought to be as barren as the Bonneville Salt Flats, suddenly channeled Sarah against the vaunted Saints and proved to be fecund indeed. The Bucs posted a 48-40 win over N’Awlins, a team some “experts” (shaddup!) believe has Super Bowl aspirations. Hirsute QB Ryan Fitzpatrick, he of the Harvard pedigree and losing NFL record, blasted through the generous Saints D, giving new meaning to the term “Big Easy”. It may have been fun to watch the teams’ tribute to the old Western Athletic Conference, but as an example of solid football, it was quite lacking.

            There were other lowlights. Dallas’ offense looked like it had the same weapons as the Lichtenstein armed forces. Tennessee and Miami played a 42-hour game in which the biggest highlights were lightning strikes near the stadium. And how about the first game of the Monday Night doubletorture? The Lions showed how happy they were with new coach Matt Patricia – whom the Pats let walk, unlike other coordinator Josh McDaniels – by unfurling a fetid performance in all four stages of the game: offense, defense, special teams and uniforms. If Detroit isn’t careful, it could be relegated to the SEC. In the Monday nightcap, Chuckie’s new club lived up to the franchise’s revamped catchphrase, “Commitment to Excrement”, in a desultory loss to the Rams, who still haven’t realized that their helmets and uniforms don’t match.

            Yep, it was a dynamite start to the 2018 season. Only 16 more weeks of madness to come.

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            EL HOMBRE SEZ: Forbes rated the “most valuable” college football programs and found that Texas A&M was number one, based on profits and revenue. It sure wasn’t for championships, which have been scarce in College Station for the past 20 years. Nothing like profiting on fans’ passions without providing a reasonable return on the investment. Gig ‘em? More like Stick it to ‘em!...What were the Angels thinking when they allowed Shohei Ohtani to pitch earlier this month? Last week, news broke that Ohtani needed Tommy John surgery, which many reported was necessary much earlier this summer. LA was way out of the playoff hunt when it sent Ohtani to the mound Sept. 2. Instead of taking care of the issue months ago, now Ohtani won’t be operated on until October at the earliest. With an 18-month recovery time, that puts him back on the mound in early 2020, at best. Had he undergone the procedure in June or July, he would have been ready for the full ’20 season. Poor judgment, for sure…Reports out of Houston have Chris Paul, James Harden and CarMElo Anthony playing pickup ball together, in order to build chemistry necessary to play together this year without killing each other. No homicides have been reported, but anybody who expects this trio of ball-hungry players to coexist successfully probably thinks J.R. Smith made the right move in Game One of the Finals. Houston, we don’t have a problem. We have a potential catastrophe…While celebrating his team’s sole touchdown in its 41-7 loss to NC State by high-fiving and fist-bumping players, head coach Shawn Elliott tore his right biceps and has to have surgery. How long until the NC2A comes up with a rule outlawing sideline celebrations? Don’t laugh. It’s just the type of thing that ridiculous athletic cabal would try to do. Meanwhile, Pope Urban VI returns to the sidelines next Saturday. In related news, the Ohio State Board of Trustees okayed yellowcake uranium as an appropriate dessert option in dormitory cafeterias.

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            AND ANOTHER THING: There is no doubt sexism exists in the tennis world. The differences between men’s and women’s prize money are profound, and last year we learned that Martina Navratilova was being paid a tenth of what John McEnroe was by the BBC for commentary at Wimbledon. When women get angry on the court, they are “shrill”. When men act out, they are “fierce competitors”. El Hombre gets it. But absolving Serena Williams of any guilt for her behavior during the U.S. Open final against Naomi Osaka is wrong. She did break the rules, and the ITF defended the official who disciplined her. Further, her coach admitted that he was coaching Williams, even though she berated the official to the contrary. And during the broadcast, Chris Evert said the coach’s hand signals were directing Williams to go to the net. Worse, Williams’ behavior detracted from the huge moment Osaka enjoyed by winning the tournament. And let’s not forget that Osaka had won the first set resoundingly, 6-2, and was only losing, 1-0, in the second. She clearly had more energy and snap in the early stages of the match. Williams is a remarkable tennis force and an all-time great athlete – regardless of sport – but she was not a complete victim at the Open, and people have to realize that.

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            WORLDWIDE DECEIVER: Anybody who believes espn is in the business first and foremost of presenting the sports world in an objective format should review the brouhaha between the company and the University of Washington/Pac-12 Conference. It began last year, when the network’s broadcast team mocked the Huskies’ non-conference schedule on-air by arraying cupcakes on the field. It continued this season when play-by-play man Mark Jones tweeted “Washington Huskies took one on the chin. Where’s Montana?” after U-Dub’s season-opening loss to Auburn, a reference to last year’s light season-opening fare. Neither action was received well by the school or the league, which are hoping for full support from their propaganda partner. The worst part of the imbroglio came when the Seattle Times published comments from espn VP Nick Dawson that expressed how disappointing Jones’ comment was and how discussions between the company and the Pac-12 during the summer had been “a great example of how a partnership can/should work on both sides”. Further, Dawson said Jones will not be assigned to any more Washington games. God forbid somebody hurts the school’s feelings. Worse, the Times reported that members of the Pac-12 had convened at the Death Star in Bristol during the summer to discuss ways espn could promote the conference more effectively. Sounds like a real journalistic outfit to El Hombre. Let’s hope nobody else from espn says anything that is mean and hurtful regarding Pac-12 teams, like bringing up the league’s 1-7 bowl record last season or the fact that it will likely be left out of the college football playoff again this year. We don’t want anybody to be upset.

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            YOU GOT A PROBLEM WITH THAT? A couple weeks ago, El Hombre told you the Phillies’ season was over and that GM Matt Klentanalytics and manager King Pollyanna had better take a hard look at a lineup that can’t hit and a pitching staff short on reliable arms over the long haul. The team’s recent 4-13 swoon and collapse in the standings shows this team cannot be allowed to move forward without significant upgrades. Phillies fans better not be fooled by an off-season of happy highlights from June and July. The last month-plus of the season revealed this team’s true character, and it must be changed for 2019. So, beware of the good times nonsense that will emanate from the executive suite and broadcast booth in the coming months. Should the organization stand pat, it can count on huge indifference in 2019, as fans wait for what they consider an inevitable collapse. There should be two untouchable players on the team: Rhys Hoskins and Aaron Nola. Everybody else is in play.

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            ONE MORE FOR THE ROAD: Due to Important Stuff and the need to clear his tormented – but brilliant – mind, El Hombre is taking a brief, one-week hiatus from creating sports magic but will return the week of Sept. 24. It’s going to be dynamite. Huge. You’ll see.

-EH-

IT'S TIME FOR THE NFL, EVERYBODY!

EL HOMBRE KNOWS SPORTS

            There was a time – not too long ago – in this nation’s sporting history when the NFL was the king of its castle, and the other sports were mere peasants, hoping to find prosperity underneath their master’s tyrannical shadow. NFL TV ratings were amazing. At one point, 19 of the top 20 rated shows for the entire year were pro football games. Networks didn’t dare put up a program they hoped would hit big against NBC’s Sunday Night Football, for fear it would be trampled and end up in the Saturday evening graveyard, drawing lower numbers than “Finder of Lost Loves” did in the mid-‘80s.

            Ah, those were the days.

            Fact is, NFL fans don’t have to remember that time as if it were a sepia-toned photograph. Fifth-graders can recall the league’s golden age, when stars trod the gridiron like sporting gods – and had endorsement profiles befitting their lofty status. Then came 2016, and the trouble began.

            Some of it wasn’t the NFL’s fault. Not even Colonel Steve Austin’s doctors could have kept Peyton Manning playing beyond the 2015 season. No one could have predicted the overwhelming drama of the ’16 presidential election, which directed eyes away from the NFL storylines. Those were forces beyond the league’s influence.

            But a lot of it the trouble was self-inflicted. The league could have been smarter and more humane about the long-term effects of concussions and other blows to the head, instead of trying to “protect the shield” by demonizing former players and denigrating respected doctors. It could have worked with players and propaganda partners from the beginning of Colin Kaepernick’s (and others’) protests to craft a solution that would have satisfied all parties – and benefitted the league – instead of bowing to hard-liners within and without the NFL and creating a situation that is divisive at best and crippling at worst. And it could have focused a little less on spectacle and a little more on the game itself, which is becoming a morass of arcane rules, time-chewing challenges and flat-out poor play.

            Further, it could have understood the NBA’s move toward a reality-show model. It entrances young fans with its season-long player drama, followed by a riveting off-season that plays out as much on social media as it does in team headquarters and is more attractive than a corporate sporting model. Yep, the NFL is still number one, but it can no longer stomp across the landscape with impunity. Heck, even soccer (especially the international version) is growing in popularity in the U.S., after only 40 or so years of predictions that it would one day take over.

            Against that cheery backdrop, the 2018 season commences with its attendant storylines. It may not be the stuff of golden ages, or even the magical ‘60s, when muddy fields were the stages for the mighty gladiators of yore. But El Hombre will still be paying attention, and here are some of things the rest of you should watch.

            Spider 2 Y Did They Do It? Those wacky Raiders have had themselves a pretty crazy off-season. First, they hired Chuckie to handle the coaching duties for a mere $100 mil. Then, they got rid of Khalil Mack, because they didn’t want to pay him Aaron Donald money. (Or more.) Wednesday, the city of Oakland sued the franchise because it will bolt for Vegas after the 2019 season. Given the raging fraternity house couch fire the Raiders have become, one would imagine the city would sue them for wanting to stick around the Bay Area for two more seasons.

             Kid Stuff: When Sam Darnold takes his first snap in the Jets’ opener against the Lions on Monday night (espn gets all the good games!), he will be the youngest QB to start a season since the 1970 AFL-NFL merger. The 21-year old will no doubt have some butterflies, but what he’ll need more than a shot of Big Pink is a football with handles. While at USC, Darnold fumbled often, something the Jets can’t have if they want to crawl out of the AFC East cellar. Darnold has potential, but folks in Queens and on Long Island would be wise to lower their expectations as the youngster learns his way.

            Quarterback Roulette: Let’s see if El Hombre can get this straight: Alex Smith is in D.C. and former Washington NFL Franchise QB Kirk Cousins has moved to Minnesota, where he takes the place of Case Keenum, who is now quarterbacking the Broncos. KC is going with Patrick Mahomes, even if he did look shaky in exhibition games. Ryan Fitzpatrick will start in Tampa during Jameis Winston’s suspension for groping an Uber driver, and Tyrod Taylor is the designated placeholder for the Browns until top overall pick Baker Mayfield is deemed ready – or until Cleveland loses 10 of its first 12. The Bills will start Nathan “Pick Five” Peterman, and former Viking/Eagle/Ram Sam Bradford and his fat bank balance are in ‘Zona hoping the Cards don’t turn to Josh Rosen too quickly. Got all that? Didn’t think so. One thing is certain: teams have spent a whole lot of money and high draft picks on guys who aren’t exactly top-tier quarterbacks. Hope springs eternal…until the first interception.

            Ram Tough (Or Stupid): In an attempt to beef up their defense, which isn’t wunderkind coach Sean McVay’s specialty, the Rams added Ndamukong Suh, Aqib Talib and Marcus Peters in the hopes that the trio will behave itself. That might happen. Then again, Suh could end up practicing Irish dancing on an opponent, Talib could decide he wants to take another shot at the title – or another shot at himself – and Peters could play referee by throwing another penalty flag, or just throwing a tantrum. El Hombre didn’t study statistics (or much else) at the Sorbonne, but he knows the probability of all three of these Boy Scouts staying out of trouble isn’t too high.

            Tommy Boy: Tom Brady turned 41 last month, and despite his stated desire to play until he is 45 (who does he think he is, George Blanda?) and his 2017 MVP performance, the Pats’ QB is heading toward the end of his career. It’s inevitable, and all the avocado ice cream in the world can’t change that. The question is whether Brady will author a couple more glorious seasons or lose his edge quickly, becoming the NFL version of pitcher Warren Spahn, who went from 23-7 as a 42-year old in 1963 to 6-13 the next season. When we last saw Mr. Bundchen, he was dropping a pass on a trick play in the Super Bowl and sparring with Captain Hoodie over the role of his personal fitness Svengali Alex Guerrero. It could be another big year for Brady and the Pats or the beginning of an ugly end.

            Welcome Back: Last year featured the premature conclusions to a trio of quarterbacks’ seasons, and all are poised to make big returns. Aaron Rodgers, Deshaun Watson and Carson Wentz suffered serious injuries that ruined their teams’ playoff hopes. Well, Green Bay’s and Houston’s at least. Wentz’s torn knee ligaments didn’t prevent the Eagles from Philly Specialing their way to the Super Bowl title. All are expected to be in top form – Wentz a little later than the others – and ready to join the NFL’s elite signal-callers. Meanwhile, Indy’s Andrew Luck, whose best work over the last year came from the clever Twitter feed @CaptAndrewLuck, hopes his two-season hiatus from the game hasn’t hurt his skills and that his shoulder can handle greetings from angry defensive linemen.

            The Picks: NFC Division Winners: Eagles, Packers, Saints, Rams; NFC Wild Card: Vikings, Falcons; Sleeper: Giants.

            AFC Division Winners: Patriots, Steelers, Jaguars, Chargers; AFC Wild Card: Texans, Titans; Sleeper: Dolphins.

            NFC Playoffs: Falcons over Packers; Rams over Vikings. Saints over Falcons; Eagles over Rams. Saints over Eagles.

            AFC Playoffs: Steelers over Texans; Titans over Chargers; Patriots over Titans; Steelers over Jaguars. Steelers over Patriots.

            Super Bowl: Saints over Steelers.

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            EL HOMBRE SEZ: It wasn’t the best weekend for some of college football’s bigger brand names. Texas dropped a decision to Maryland, Florida State got whipped by Virginia Tech, Miami was bombed by LSU, and Michigan went back to the ugly end of ‘17 in a desultory loss to the Domers. But the biggest mess might be in Westwood, where Maximum Leader’s Bruins lost at home to Cincinnati. Looks like that genius card might not be good for much anymore…Rick Pitino announced in his new book that his coaching career is “possibly finished”. You think? What’s stopping another top program from bestowing a fat contract on Ricky P? It couldn’t be the late-night restaurant gymnastics with another woman, could it? Or maybe it was the hooker party for the recruits? Was it the stench of an FBI investigation? Nahhhhh. It’s a conspiracy. Yeah, that must be it…The Mariners players had a Pier Six brawl before their game Tuesday, which worried some Seattle fans. Those folks should be delighted, because it’s the most fight the M’s have shown in weeks. Once wild-card contenders who were actually dreaming of the divisional title, the Mariners are nine back of the first-place Astros and 5.5 behind Oakland for the second wild-card spot…Pope Urban VI returned to Ohio State this week to conduct practice and to prepare for his return to the sidelines for week four of the season. In other Buckeye news, the Board of Trustees, save the one member who resigned in disgust over the week penalty handed out to Urban VI, remains gutless and completely in the pocket of the football program.

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            AND ANOTHER THING: If any of Nick Saban’s or Doug Pederson’s players reacted to mildly stressful situations during a game with the similar lack of composure the coaches did when asked over the past week who their starting quarterbacks would be, they would no doubt be excoriated and probably demoted. It’s amazing that coaches today get so upset over questions that couldn’t possibly be surprising to them. Here’s a bit of inside information from the media, fellas: Fans want to know who will be playing quarterback. Instead of crafting a benign answer designed to satisfy (somewhat) the questioner and avoid controversy, these coaches became angry and petulant. Part of the job descriptions for these heavily compensated men is dealing with the media. So, why wouldn’t they do it in ways that doesn’t make them look unprofessional? Saban’s response to espn reporter Maria Taylor’s innocuous question about the Tide’s top signal-caller was uncalled for and exposed him further as someone for whom common decency is often elusive. Pederson’s tantrum was even sillier, since the person who “put words in [his] mouth” worked for NFL.com, the propaganda arm of the league for which he works. Getting angry at the local reporters who have helped promote his book and his team made no sense in that case. Pederson and the “offending writer” who said Nick Foles would be starting the season at quarterback work for the same company – the NFL. Come on, guys, show a little more poise.

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            YOU GOT A PROBLEM WITH THAT? The Eagles head into the 2018 season enjoying a completely unfamiliar status: defending Super Bowl champs. The fan base has been placated, and that means everything should be sunshine and lollipops, no matter what happens on the field, right? Maybe. The expectations for the team have grown, and even though people are merging onto local highways without risking serious injury these days, a poor performance by the team will not be received well. Like most towns that experience ultimate success, Philadelphia now believes the Eagles will win multiple Lombardi Trophies over the next five seasons, and even a return trip to the Super Bowl that doesn’t end in triumph will be received poorly in some circles. So, what’s going to happen? Expect Nick Foles to play QB for three games, before Carson Wentz returns. Expect the offense to take some time to develop into a real force. Worry about the middle of the defensive front without Haloti Ngata and pray hard for Jordan Hicks to remain healthy. The Eagles should win the NFC East and a playoff game. After that, things could get pretty tough on the Schuylkill Expressway.

-EH-