EL HOMBRE KNOWS SPORTS
While myriad theories emerge about the low ratings for Tuesday’s All-Star Game, and clueless Majoke League Baseball burgermeister Bud Sellout protests (ever so gently) the Manny Ramirez Minor League Victory Tour, baseball resumes its pennant races today with a “second half” that should provide fans with plenty of interest while angering mathematical purists who argue that 88 is NOT half of 162.
Sellout’s declaration that he wasn’t happy with Ramirez’s playing tune-up games in garden spots like San Bernardino and Albuquerque is hilarious. It affords him another way to blame all of the steroid problems in the game on the players’ union, which while certainly highly culpable, has hardly acted alone. Sellout is right (stop the presses!) to say that a 50-game suspension should be a 50-game suspension and that if Ramirez wants to loosen up before returning to the big time ball, he should do so at an American Legion post or a local semi-pro outfit. Since the Dodgers own the 66ers and (it was) the Dukes, Ramirez shouldn’t get an early furlough to get back into shape with those clubs. But for Sellout to make it seem as if the evil players are solely responsible for the loophole is like Terrell Owens’ saying his troubles with every team for which he’s played have been his teammates’ fault.
As for the All-Star Game, it was refreshing to see a 4-3, close contest that had some drama. If TV ratings went down because of that, then MLB should just hold a second Home Run Derby (even though the first one is getting ollllllldddd) and realize that fans don’t like baseball; they like highlights and asinine commentary. Look for baseballs to start flying during the Midsummer Classic next year, as their composition changes to include some of the same material that allows American Idol to keep bouncing back, despite dispensing ever-growing doses of inanity. If you weren’t interested in Carl Crawford’s catch, Joe Nathan’s eighth-inning showdown with Ryan Howard and yet another perfect ninth from Mariano Rivera, then you should be sentenced to a season of Nationals games.
With those issues out of the way, it’s time to look at the storylines that will dominate the remaining 45.679% of the season.
Yanks-Sawx: Get you tickets now! The teams only play 43 more times this season, giving espn the chance to show at least 25 special reports on how great the rivalry is. The fact that New York hasn’t beaten Boston since Bloody Sock Schilling single-handedly ended Communism doesn’t dilute the drama at all. Or at least that’s what the propaganda ministers tell us. Look for devoted TV minions to get the Yanks a wild-card berth and then fix the first round to allow for a Yanks-Sawx ALCS. Hello, Mr. Nielsen.
The Great Chase: Although Washington is on pace to lose “only” 114 games, there is still hope that the Nats can surpass the ’62 Mets’ epic, 40-120 futility. All it takes are a couple months of continued lackadaisical and uninspired play – think Adam Dunn in the outfield – and the Nats could pull it off. But there is some danger out there, since new manager Jim Riggleman could turn things around. Then again, Riggleman describes himself as a “softy,” so the malaise could well continue. The hope here is for 119 losses, so the Mets and their odious fans can continue to wallow in ignominy.
Fire Sales: While most eyes will be on the Blue Jays to see if they dish ace Roy Halladay (more on that below), there will be plenty of other teams trying to get rid of big salaries in the name of rebuilding. The Pirates could let just about anybody go, including Manny Sanguillen, Dave Parker and Dock Ellis’ acid peddler. The Nationals will be holding a tag sale, and all prices are negotiable. San Diego will still try to deal Jake Peavy (with little success), and the Indians are heading to the trading post. As usual, just about any Oriole can be had in return for some mannequins to put in the seats.
Friendly Confounds: After choking last post-season, the Cubs were supposed to mount a strong charge to the pennant and perhaps even win the World Series. Instead, they find themselves mired in a gooey NL Central race, struggling to keep pace with the Happiest Place on Earth Cardinals, whose errors even receive standing ovations from the country’s softest fans. Lou Piniella is calling his players names. The big guns can’t hit. The best pitchers don’t win. But at least the beer’s cold. Look for a rally, but in the end, more disappointment defines the Cubbies.
Wild West: Since most fans can’t name a combined 10 players on the Mariners, Rangers and Angels, the AL West race is getting no attention. But things could get pretty interesting, particularly if Ichiro and Seattle keep winning. The Angels have the best all-around talent, but Texas sure can mash. And Rangers’ ace Kevin Millwood doesn’t look so out of shape anymore. L.A. will probably win, but things could be interesting here in September. Too bad fans will need a satellite dish or premium cable package to see it all.
Reboot: With “half” the season gone, it’s appropriate to re-think the division races and make some predictions. American League division winners: Boston, Chicago, L.A. Wild Card: Yankees. National League division winners: Philadelphia, St. Louis, L.A. Wild Card: Cubs. ALDS: Boston over Chicago; L.A. over New York. ALCS: Boston over L.A. NLDS: Philadelphia over Chicago; L.A. over St. Louis. NLCS: L.A. over Philadelphia. World Series: Boston over L.A.
* * *
EL HOMBRE SEZ: Great line from a Western Conference executive about why the Clippers will sign Allen Iverson: “Because it makes absolutely no sense.” Anybody who thinks one of the most selfish players in NBA history will accept a team role is crazy…Cowboy QB has finally decided to end this chapter of the drama surrounding his return. He’ll let everyone know by July 30. Of course, that doesn’t exactly satisfy the Vikings, who would like an earlier decision, but why should Brett Favre care about them? This is a personal matter between him and his ego…You can root for Tiger or Paddy or any of the others at Turnberry this weekend. El Hombre is pulling for the course, which should claim plenty of self-esteem and reduce normally reasonable men to near tears. At least they can weep into some top-flight Scotch…The NHL announced Wednesday that Boston and Philadelphia will play Jan. 1, 2010 at Fenway Park in the only hockey game to which anybody will pay attention. No word on whether new Flyers goon, er defenseman, Chris Pronger will try to grind anybody into the Green Monster. In other hockey news, NBC has agreed to keep televising NHL games through the 2010-11 season. The league did have to make one major concession in order to keep its flagging product on network TV: the best-of-seven Stanley Cup Finals series will be played over four consecutive days in the morning. Game On!...NASCAR’s Jeremy Mayfield tested positive again for methamphetamine and promptly denied the charge, even though his stepmother reported that she had seen him take meth 30 times over a seven-year period. That didn’t sit well with the high-strung driver, who said, “that [nasty term for a woman] is trash and has got nothing on me but lies.” Mayfield then excused himself and went for a practice lap – the wrong way around the track. Ah, wholesome family entertainment…The savior of American soccer, David Beckham, is back in action Thursday night for the Galaxy, amidst rumors that he was a bad captain and didn’t care about his team. Beckham denied he dissed his mates, although he was overheard asking a Galaxy official, “When do Number Four and Whatsisname get in the game?”
* * *
YOU GOT A PROBLEM WITH THAT? If the Phillies think they have solved their starting pitching problems by signing a 37-year old (or so he says) who has trouble getting past the sixth inning, strained his shoulder during tryouts and hasn’t pitched a complete season since 2005, then GM Ruben Amaro has been possessed by the ghost of Ed Wade. Unless the Phils are trying to overload their bullpen and think sterling J.A. Happ will continue to be their ace, then asking Pedro Martinez to go every fifth day is a mistake. Let’s hope this is a relatively inexpensive stopgap solution to a problem that needs a real answer: Roy Halladay. While the Phils wring their hands about what to offer the Blue Jays in return for the big-time ace, consider that the franchise hasn’t produced one homegrown standout pitcher who sustained excellence over five years or more in decades. Halladay, meanwhile, has won 20 games twice and 19 once during the past seven years, has maintained an ERA of below 3.00 in the run-happy American League, and sounds like he’s looking for a new address. The worst-case scenario is that he pitches this season and the next for the Phillies, giving them a true righthanded stopper on a team that leans more left than Julius and Ethel Rosenberg. In a perfect world, he signs a three-year extension and becomes a true bulwark of the future. If that means giving up Kyle Drabek and Joe Savery, Lou Marson and Jason Donald, Carlos Carasco and anybody else but Michael Taylor, DO IT!!! Professional sports are about winning now, and if Amaro wants to worry about what happens in five years, he should go work for the Pirates. Pedro makes for good copy, but Halladay will help the Phillies win another pennant.
* * *
AND ANOTHER THING: Since Nike and LeBron James decided to deprive the world of Xavier player Jordan Crawford’s dunk over the Cavalier star, we must rely on the reports of those who were there to learn what really happened. (El Hombre isn’t sure this is what Nike had in mind when it unveiled the “Witness” ad campaign for James.) One camper present was Michigan guard Manny Harris, who provides this exclusive account. “It was pretty good. [Crawford] actually drove past his guy, and he was already in the air. LeBron saw that he was in the air, and he tried to block [the dunk]. At that point, it’s tough to block a guy, because [Raymond] was already in the air. But [James] got dunked on. Afterward, [Michael] Jordan made some noise, and so did the high school kids. LeBron kept his composure and acted like nothing happened.” Thank you, Manny, for letting us in on what happened, since James and Nike chickened out. On the one hand, it’s understandable how the player and sponsor want to protect his image, especially in this YouTube world. But don’t you think this would have gone away faster had James and Nike released the video, congratulated the kid and moved on? What are they afraid of? Guess humility and the ability to laugh at one’s self aren’t part of the LBJ package. One thing’s for certain: Had that happened to Jordan in his prime, he wouldn’t have squelched the video. He would have just abused Crawford for the rest of the game and then showed up for every Xavier practice this season looking to play one-on-one. That’s how a competitor does it.
-EH-
Showing posts with label Manny Ramirez. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Manny Ramirez. Show all posts
Thursday, July 16, 2009
Thursday, July 2, 2009
Justice, NFL Style
EL HOMBRE KNOWS SPORTS
When NFL commissioner Roger Goodell issued his official mountaintop farewell after the final mini-camp, OTA, and in the case of the Raiders, DTA (Disorganized Team Activity) had ended, he sounded more like a high school principal than the leader of professional sports’ most lucrative concern. As the kids ran out of team complexes like students’ heading into summer break, they could hear the voice booming from loudspeakers across the country, warning them about the evils of drunk driving.
The final sentence of the proclamation was the most telling: “Let’s make sure that the 2009 season does not bring more tragedy or embarrassment to ourselves and our employees.” Goodell even went so far as to mention Donte Stallworth, the Cleveland receiver who is serving 30 days in stir for hitting and killing a man while driving drunk – and thanks to new information made known yesterday – high. Goodell has suspended Stallworth “indefinitely” and has promised to make known the final disposition of that nebulous sentence soon.
As Goodell weighs the merits of relieving Stallworth of his livelihood for a quarter, half or full season, a debate has sprouted about whether Goodell has the right to impose a substantial penalty at all. There is no doubt that Stallworth should have a chance to play in the NFL again, just as Michael Vick deserves another shot, but some league discipline must be imposed, and it must have teeth.
Some say Goodell must make up for the court’s relative leniency. Although there was no intent to kill the man who walked in front of Stallworth’s car early one morning, he still took another life, and 30 days seems like a pretty small price to pay for that. Despite showing what appears to be true remorse and settling with the man’s family for what is no doubt a hefty amount, Stallworth received a pretty light penalty. (IMPORTANT CODICIL: Anyone who has ever seen the HBO classic “Oz” knows that even five minutes in the joint can lead to any number of nightmares, particularly if Schillinger gets a hold of you, so 30 days can seem like forever, or the length of an WNBA game.)
Goodell’s job is not to correct the court’s work. His sole responsibility is the health and economic welfare of the (insert dramatic pause) National Football League. Because of that role, he must consider Stallworth’s crime within the framework of how his return to action will affect the league and its reputation. Back in ’98, Leonard Little killed a woman while driving drunk and spent 90 days behind bars. Then-commissioner Paul Tagliabue slapped Little with an eight-game suspension, but the defensive end returned and eventually became a Pro Bowler. Though MADD picketed Little’s first game back with the Rams after the suspension, there was no furor surrounding his return and only a small percentage of today’s fans would be able to recall the crime.
Now comes Stallworth. While he sits in jail, Goodell must judge the damage the wide receiver has done to the league, not to mention the ramifications of a player’s driving drunk and high, a daily double of NFL conduct violations. Worse than breaking his employer’s rules, Stallworth perpetuated the myth of athletes’ behaving badly. Despite being but a minute portion of the overall NFL personnel universe, people like Stallworth become the image of the highly-paid performers. No amount of charitable work can erase it. Donovan McNabb could eradicate swine flu from the landscape, and he wouldn’t be able to overcome the damage Stallworth has done to players’ or the league’s reputations.
That’s where Goodell comes in. His job as commissioner is to propagate the NFL and make sure that its financial health persists and improves. To do that, he must deal swiftly and sternly with those who are threats to that well being. Stallworth’s crime has hurt Goodell’s league and its business. If he does not come down hard on Stallworth, particularly in an economic climate where people are struggling to pay high ticket prices and to make sure their kids have the GI Joes with the Kung-fu grip, he runs the risk of giving back some of the goodwill and market share the league has accumulated during the past several decades.
Yes, Goodell has to pounce, on both Vick and Stallworth. The question is whether they deserve the same suspensions, and the answer is no. Although Vick did more time for his dog-fighting crimes, there’s no way the killing of any animal – no matter what the quantity – trumps the taking of a human life. PETA can scream from the treetops (just be careful not to disturb the slender-billed grackle) all it wants on that one, but it’s wrong. Vick deserves a half-year away from the NFL, and Stallworth needs to be seated for a full season. That way, he’ll get the opportunity to take care of his community service obligations and remain clear of the spotlight, and the league can show that it takes this kind of behavior very seriously. By giving Stallworth a substantial penalty, Goodell will be looking out for his league by protecting its image. He’ll also be sending a distinct message to other players that will be stronger than any “behave yourselves” letter he could write.
And, come September, when everybody returns to class, they’ll know the principal isn’t going to back down.
Now, about that summer reading.
* * *
EL HOMBRE SEZ: A tip of the helmet to SI’s Chris Ballard for his back-page story in the magazine this week. Click on the link and read on. If you don’t choke up, call Keith Richards’ doctor, because you need a transfusion. http://tinyurl.com/lnvs7w Some might consider it sacrilegious to root against an American in anything, but you have to cheer for Andy Murray to become the first British man to win at Wimbledon since Fred Perry in 1936. Maybe he’ll get a shoe named for him if he does triumph…The price tag for a courtside seat at the renovated Pauley Pavilion in ’12-13? Try a one-time 500 large serving of cheddar, followed by annual “contributions” of $17,000/seat – plus the tickets’ cost. Yeah, college sports are a pure, amateur pursuit. Pay the damn players already…Tennessee has received a commitment from a 13-year old grid star whose brother and father played for the Vols. No word on whether coach Lane Kiffin told the kid that if he went to South Carolina, he’d never become any good on Rock Band…Okay, so the U.S. soccer team coughs up a 2-0 lead against Brazil in the Confederations Final, and all of a sudden the red-white-and-blew-it is a world power. Calm down, everybody. Let’s see how the Yanks do Aug. 12 in the World Cup qualifier in Mexico while dodging bags of human excrement…A judge dismissed attempts by Ro(H)g(H)er Clemens to revive some of his defamation claims against former trainer Brian McNamee. Awwww. Now McNamee gets a chance to sue Clemens. Ain’t justice great?
* * *
YOU GOT A PROBLEM WITH THAT? Those 1-2-3-4-5-Sixers did the right thing by drafting Jrue Holiday last Thursday. NBA personnel sources tell El Hombre that Holiday will be a first-rate point man in a couple years, thanks to his size, athletic ability, competitiveness and defensive skills. He played out of position at UCLA last year and still had more assists per minute played and per possession than did Darren Collison, who dominated the ball. While the Sixers wait for Holiday, they remain an imperfect team, even if they re-sign free agent PG Richard Pryor. They have no real center, no two guard and their two best young players – Andre Iguodala and Thaddeus Young – play the same position. The Sixers have a bunch of ugly contracts and at a time when teams are clearing space for 2010 free agency, their salary cap is clogged worse than the commode at an offensive linemen’s convention. Don’t expect big things next season. Or the one after that.
* * *
AND ANOTHER THING: Manny Ramirez returns to the lineup this weekend after serving his 50-day sentence for taking fertility drugs to spark testosterone growth after steroid use. (Allegedly.) Expect an outpouring of love from Dodgers’ Stepfords and a celebration of the cheater’s talents by the league’s propaganda partners. Let’s hope Hall of Fame voters commemorate the occasion by promising never to vote for the bum and to remind people as needed about his crimes against baseball. It will be easy to view the juiced-up slugger as a sympathetic figure, given the welcome he’ll receive, but don’t ever remove him from the list of drug abusers and don’t give in to the temptation to say it was just “Manny being Manny.” Let the pajama-wearing, traveling-secretary-bullying lab creation get into Cooperstown the same way the rest of us do – with a ticket.
-EH-
When NFL commissioner Roger Goodell issued his official mountaintop farewell after the final mini-camp, OTA, and in the case of the Raiders, DTA (Disorganized Team Activity) had ended, he sounded more like a high school principal than the leader of professional sports’ most lucrative concern. As the kids ran out of team complexes like students’ heading into summer break, they could hear the voice booming from loudspeakers across the country, warning them about the evils of drunk driving.
The final sentence of the proclamation was the most telling: “Let’s make sure that the 2009 season does not bring more tragedy or embarrassment to ourselves and our employees.” Goodell even went so far as to mention Donte Stallworth, the Cleveland receiver who is serving 30 days in stir for hitting and killing a man while driving drunk – and thanks to new information made known yesterday – high. Goodell has suspended Stallworth “indefinitely” and has promised to make known the final disposition of that nebulous sentence soon.
As Goodell weighs the merits of relieving Stallworth of his livelihood for a quarter, half or full season, a debate has sprouted about whether Goodell has the right to impose a substantial penalty at all. There is no doubt that Stallworth should have a chance to play in the NFL again, just as Michael Vick deserves another shot, but some league discipline must be imposed, and it must have teeth.
Some say Goodell must make up for the court’s relative leniency. Although there was no intent to kill the man who walked in front of Stallworth’s car early one morning, he still took another life, and 30 days seems like a pretty small price to pay for that. Despite showing what appears to be true remorse and settling with the man’s family for what is no doubt a hefty amount, Stallworth received a pretty light penalty. (IMPORTANT CODICIL: Anyone who has ever seen the HBO classic “Oz” knows that even five minutes in the joint can lead to any number of nightmares, particularly if Schillinger gets a hold of you, so 30 days can seem like forever, or the length of an WNBA game.)
Goodell’s job is not to correct the court’s work. His sole responsibility is the health and economic welfare of the (insert dramatic pause) National Football League. Because of that role, he must consider Stallworth’s crime within the framework of how his return to action will affect the league and its reputation. Back in ’98, Leonard Little killed a woman while driving drunk and spent 90 days behind bars. Then-commissioner Paul Tagliabue slapped Little with an eight-game suspension, but the defensive end returned and eventually became a Pro Bowler. Though MADD picketed Little’s first game back with the Rams after the suspension, there was no furor surrounding his return and only a small percentage of today’s fans would be able to recall the crime.
Now comes Stallworth. While he sits in jail, Goodell must judge the damage the wide receiver has done to the league, not to mention the ramifications of a player’s driving drunk and high, a daily double of NFL conduct violations. Worse than breaking his employer’s rules, Stallworth perpetuated the myth of athletes’ behaving badly. Despite being but a minute portion of the overall NFL personnel universe, people like Stallworth become the image of the highly-paid performers. No amount of charitable work can erase it. Donovan McNabb could eradicate swine flu from the landscape, and he wouldn’t be able to overcome the damage Stallworth has done to players’ or the league’s reputations.
That’s where Goodell comes in. His job as commissioner is to propagate the NFL and make sure that its financial health persists and improves. To do that, he must deal swiftly and sternly with those who are threats to that well being. Stallworth’s crime has hurt Goodell’s league and its business. If he does not come down hard on Stallworth, particularly in an economic climate where people are struggling to pay high ticket prices and to make sure their kids have the GI Joes with the Kung-fu grip, he runs the risk of giving back some of the goodwill and market share the league has accumulated during the past several decades.
Yes, Goodell has to pounce, on both Vick and Stallworth. The question is whether they deserve the same suspensions, and the answer is no. Although Vick did more time for his dog-fighting crimes, there’s no way the killing of any animal – no matter what the quantity – trumps the taking of a human life. PETA can scream from the treetops (just be careful not to disturb the slender-billed grackle) all it wants on that one, but it’s wrong. Vick deserves a half-year away from the NFL, and Stallworth needs to be seated for a full season. That way, he’ll get the opportunity to take care of his community service obligations and remain clear of the spotlight, and the league can show that it takes this kind of behavior very seriously. By giving Stallworth a substantial penalty, Goodell will be looking out for his league by protecting its image. He’ll also be sending a distinct message to other players that will be stronger than any “behave yourselves” letter he could write.
And, come September, when everybody returns to class, they’ll know the principal isn’t going to back down.
Now, about that summer reading.
* * *
EL HOMBRE SEZ: A tip of the helmet to SI’s Chris Ballard for his back-page story in the magazine this week. Click on the link and read on. If you don’t choke up, call Keith Richards’ doctor, because you need a transfusion. http://tinyurl.com/lnvs7w Some might consider it sacrilegious to root against an American in anything, but you have to cheer for Andy Murray to become the first British man to win at Wimbledon since Fred Perry in 1936. Maybe he’ll get a shoe named for him if he does triumph…The price tag for a courtside seat at the renovated Pauley Pavilion in ’12-13? Try a one-time 500 large serving of cheddar, followed by annual “contributions” of $17,000/seat – plus the tickets’ cost. Yeah, college sports are a pure, amateur pursuit. Pay the damn players already…Tennessee has received a commitment from a 13-year old grid star whose brother and father played for the Vols. No word on whether coach Lane Kiffin told the kid that if he went to South Carolina, he’d never become any good on Rock Band…Okay, so the U.S. soccer team coughs up a 2-0 lead against Brazil in the Confederations Final, and all of a sudden the red-white-and-blew-it is a world power. Calm down, everybody. Let’s see how the Yanks do Aug. 12 in the World Cup qualifier in Mexico while dodging bags of human excrement…A judge dismissed attempts by Ro(H)g(H)er Clemens to revive some of his defamation claims against former trainer Brian McNamee. Awwww. Now McNamee gets a chance to sue Clemens. Ain’t justice great?
* * *
YOU GOT A PROBLEM WITH THAT? Those 1-2-3-4-5-Sixers did the right thing by drafting Jrue Holiday last Thursday. NBA personnel sources tell El Hombre that Holiday will be a first-rate point man in a couple years, thanks to his size, athletic ability, competitiveness and defensive skills. He played out of position at UCLA last year and still had more assists per minute played and per possession than did Darren Collison, who dominated the ball. While the Sixers wait for Holiday, they remain an imperfect team, even if they re-sign free agent PG Richard Pryor. They have no real center, no two guard and their two best young players – Andre Iguodala and Thaddeus Young – play the same position. The Sixers have a bunch of ugly contracts and at a time when teams are clearing space for 2010 free agency, their salary cap is clogged worse than the commode at an offensive linemen’s convention. Don’t expect big things next season. Or the one after that.
* * *
AND ANOTHER THING: Manny Ramirez returns to the lineup this weekend after serving his 50-day sentence for taking fertility drugs to spark testosterone growth after steroid use. (Allegedly.) Expect an outpouring of love from Dodgers’ Stepfords and a celebration of the cheater’s talents by the league’s propaganda partners. Let’s hope Hall of Fame voters commemorate the occasion by promising never to vote for the bum and to remind people as needed about his crimes against baseball. It will be easy to view the juiced-up slugger as a sympathetic figure, given the welcome he’ll receive, but don’t ever remove him from the list of drug abusers and don’t give in to the temptation to say it was just “Manny being Manny.” Let the pajama-wearing, traveling-secretary-bullying lab creation get into Cooperstown the same way the rest of us do – with a ticket.
-EH-
Thursday, June 4, 2009
Let Manny Play
EL HOMBRE KNOWS SPORTS
Back when the BALCO Bonds Traveling Medicine Show was rolling into big-league parks, Dodgers fans used to rage (as much as anybody from L.A. can rage) about the lab creation’s steroid-infused body. They couldn’t believe how those rubes up the coast could support such a human abomination. Bonds was a walking, slugging example of the game’s performance-enhancing drug problem, and the Giants fans who rooted for him were head-in-the-sand rubes who would have begged for a curtain call from Stalin had he ever hit a game-winning home run for their diamond heroes.
The anger was exacerbated by the teams’ rivalry, which was born in New York and moved west in the early 1960s. It was fueled by Juan Marichal’s use of John Roseboro’s head as a piñata, numerous pennant-race showdowns and the natural NoCal-SoCal antagonism. But Los Angelinos, like most other MLB outposts, ridiculed the Giants for their support of one of the sporting world’s biggest cheaters.
Funny how things change. In the most recent All-Star Game balloting, disgraced Dodgers slugger Manny Ramirez is among the top five outfield vote getters and is within striking distance of a starting spot. This despite his 50-game suspension for using a steroid post-cursor/female fertility drug/party starter. Since most baseball fans are nauseated by the latest star player to be gunned down in the P.E.D. mess, it stands to reason that his overwhelming All-Star support is coming from Dodgertown, where fans pine for his return and start Twitter pages counting the days until he can continue his pathological ways on the field and in the clubhouse.
As you might imagine, the whole thing has spawned a cyclone of controversy over whether Ramirez should play in the game if he is elected. Dodgers manager Joe Torre says no, and he insists Ramirez would say the same thing. MLB commissioner Bud Sellout is watching the situation closely, hoping Ramirez doesn’t grab one of the top three spots and force the owners’ toady to take action. Since Sellout is still cleaning syrup out of his hair following his world-class waffling during Bonds’ heinous pursuit of Hank Aaron’s career home-run mark, you can imagine he doesn’t want anything to do with the Ramirez All-Star mess.
Not that there should be any debate on the subject. If Ramirez is elected, he plays. His suspension will be up before the All-Star Game, barring a wrath-of-God style spate of rainouts. (Then again, since God is probably an Angels fan, he might just stick it to the cross-town Dodgers.) That means Ramirez will be eligible to shamble onto the Busch Stadium field in his pajama-style uniform and represent the National League. And he should do it. Ramirez’s presence in the game will remind MLB fans of the sport’s two bigger shams – the steroid disgrace and the ridiculous practice of turning the selection of All-Starters into a popularity contest. You say Ramirez doesn’t deserve a spot in the lineup? Well, get in line, because ever since Majoke League Baseball started the fan balloting system, back in 1970, there have been dozens of unworthy starters. Ramirez just happens to be the latest in a long line.
Every year, worthy performers are pushed to the bench by the whims of the public, most of whom don’t know anything about the players for whom they are voting. A doozy is brewing this year, since as of Tuesday, Seattle’s Ken Griffey, Jr., he of the .222 batting average and six whole homers, was running fourth in the AL outfield voting, just 28,000 ahead of teammate Ichiro Suzuki, one of the game’s best. Should junior warm up a bit and show up on SportsCenter a few times, he could zip past Ichiro as a sentimental favorite, not to mention the choice of fans who still think it’s 1998. So Ramirez doesn’t belong? He has plenty of company.
As for the steroid angle, baseball would be getting what it deserves. Even though Sellout and his apologists try to make it sound as if the Manny suspension proves that the MLB has P.E.D. users on the run, it remains unwilling to confront the issues that have arisen (Hall of Fame eligibility, record-breaking debacles, sport-wide lack of credibility) due to the climate fostered by look-the-other-way owners and a truculent union. Forcing broadcasters to explain the whole mess as Ramirez digs into the batter’s box would be absolutely delicious and what the game deserves. And, should Sellout discover that he indeed has a set and prevents a fan-elected Manny from playing, he will contradict his previous simpering stances on how to deal with drug abusers and appear as if he is grandstanding. Simply put, it’s a win-win for those who are disgusted by the past 15 years of baseball history – except for last year’s glorious Phillies World Championship, of course. If Ramirez plays, it indicts the All-Star balloting sham. If he is banned by Sellout, it will make the commissioner look like a spineless hypocrite who hasn’t had the fortitude to deal with other steroid cheats.
For now, count on two things. First, the Dodgers fans will continue to become the biggest jokes in baseball by rooting for Ramirez on the heels of their boorish behavior in last year’s loss to the Phillies in the NLCS. And Sellout will have an army of lackeys punching out All-Star ballots in the MLB offices, in an attempt to out-vote the Ramirez apologists.
Meanwhile, the Giants fans will continue to pay the price for supporting Bonds by being tortured by a poor team.
Ain’t baseball great?
* * *
EL HOMBRE SEZ: Let’s hope that LeBron James has learned that sending a text message the day after snubbing someone who has defeated you is not good sportsmanship and that being a “competitor” does not prevent one from congratulating your conqueror. More important, especially to Cleveland fans, is that James is entering what could be his final year with the Cavs. He can opt out of his contract next summer, and if GM Danny Ferry doesn’t find someone else to score during the post-season crucible, James will be a Knick faster than you can say “Spike Lee has lost his fastball.”…The NBA Finals begin tonight, and since the league can’t jam the Kobe vs. LeBron angle down our gullets (that sound you hear is Uncle David Stern’s weeping), it will have to settle for choosing the best team on the planet. Horrors! Don’t worry, ABC/espn will try to manufacture a Kobe vs. Dwight Howard rivalry, the better to avoid focusing on the game itself. In case you’re wondering, the Lakers win in six…So, you take performance-enhancing drugs, Danica Patrick? That’s hilarious. Wonder if commentators would have been tougher on you if you didn’t look so good in a swimsuit. Try to think next time you tell a joke…Speaking of jokes, Titans QB Vince Young wants to start or move on to another team. Wait, now his agent says he doesn’t. When you’re a running back under center with little accuracy throwing the ball and have demonstrated some personality issues over the past year, it’s best to keep your mouth shut and work hard. When will professional teams stop believing the hype?...At a time when the home run continues to be celebrated too strenuously, Seattle outfielder Ichiro Suzuki continues his Hall of Fame career. His hitting streak stands at 27 games, and he is on pace to collect 256 hits this year. Ichiro has topped 200 hits in each of his eight big-league seasons, has scored at least 100 runs in all eight and has enough Gold Gloves for each of an octopus’ arms. He won’t reach 3,000 hits, because he didn’t enter the Majors until age 27, but he should be a sure-fire, first-ballot Cooperstown inductee…You have to wonder whether LifeLock, the company that has bought the rights to put its name on the jerseys of the WNBA’s Phoenix Mercury, is long for this world. If you decide to spend your marketing dollars in this economy on a sponsorship deal that no one will see, you could be out of business pretty soon. In other sports business news, the Detroit Lions will now be sponsored by Alpo.
* * *
YOU GOT A PROBLEM WITH THAT? Morocco Mole checked in Monday with some big news from the World Champion Philadelphia Phillies: He had received an e-mail informing him he could still buy tickets to the sold-out Boston Red Sox series next week! Perhaps even more important is the fact that Yogi Berra is now running the Phillies’ ticket department. Let’s bring in the prosecutor for this one. Mr. Berra, are the games against the Red Sox sold out? “Yes, sir, they are.” Mr. Berra, can fans still get tickets to the sold-out Red Sox series? “Yes, sir, they can.” Prosecution calls Mr. Bud Abbott and Mr. Lou Costello to the stand. Of course, the doublespeak isn’t a mistake. The Mole and other fans can get tickets to the sold-out Red Sox series, provided they purchase tickets to three other games. Teams have been trying to entice fans to get tickets to games against relatively unsavory opponents for years by using the carrot of the opportunity to see more attractive rivals, but the Phillies have raised this to an art form. From February, they declare the games against popular Junior Circuit opposition “sold out,” and then spend months telling you how to get said ducats. The same goes for fireworks night and Salute to Scrapple Night. It’s their right to engage in such business practices, and it’s our right to laugh at them every time they channel their inner Yogi to tell us how to get tickets to sold-out games. Next up in The Mole’s e-mail box: An invitation next week to buy tickets to the sold-out Red Sox series, when the four-pack gimmick fizzles. The real kick in the pants comes the day after the sold-out Red Sox series, when the Phillies offer fans the chance to buy ticket stubs from the sold-out Red Sox Series.
* * *
AND ANOTHER THING: University of Florida president Bernie Machen says Gators football coach Urban Meyer deserves a raise and should be the highest-paid boss in the Southeastern Conference. On the surface, that makes sense. The stoic Meyer has won two national titles in the past three years and is threatening to zoom past The Ol’ Ball Coach in terms of on-field success. (Meyer still doesn’t have a Heisman, though.) If this were three years ago, Machen would be well advised to give Meyer more dough. The trouble is, this is 2009, and UF has sliced $69 million from its budget over the past two years. Last Tuesday, the board of trustees approved another $42.2 million in cuts. Even though Machen argues the athletic department – fueled primarily by money raised by Big Pigskin – has given $6 mil to the school’s academic departments, he would be sending a horrible message to the rest of the university community by giving Meyer more money. And the coach, who already earns $3.25 million per, would look pretty greedy grabbing another three-quarters of a million, when programs, faculty and resources are being hacked away from the school. Worse, Machen’s actions could have a trickle-down effect at another SEC institution, LSU, which is suffering through its own round of cuts. Tigers coach Les Miles is the conference’s top-paid coach, at $3.751 large a year, and has an escalator clause in his contract that keeps him atop the list. So, while students deal with schools that are trimming back academic offerings, the football coaches could be engaging in a game of top-this. Nice job, Bernie. Here’s an idea for your next move: eliminate the Economics department but give Meyer a solid-gold desk.
-EH-
Back when the BALCO Bonds Traveling Medicine Show was rolling into big-league parks, Dodgers fans used to rage (as much as anybody from L.A. can rage) about the lab creation’s steroid-infused body. They couldn’t believe how those rubes up the coast could support such a human abomination. Bonds was a walking, slugging example of the game’s performance-enhancing drug problem, and the Giants fans who rooted for him were head-in-the-sand rubes who would have begged for a curtain call from Stalin had he ever hit a game-winning home run for their diamond heroes.
The anger was exacerbated by the teams’ rivalry, which was born in New York and moved west in the early 1960s. It was fueled by Juan Marichal’s use of John Roseboro’s head as a piñata, numerous pennant-race showdowns and the natural NoCal-SoCal antagonism. But Los Angelinos, like most other MLB outposts, ridiculed the Giants for their support of one of the sporting world’s biggest cheaters.
Funny how things change. In the most recent All-Star Game balloting, disgraced Dodgers slugger Manny Ramirez is among the top five outfield vote getters and is within striking distance of a starting spot. This despite his 50-game suspension for using a steroid post-cursor/female fertility drug/party starter. Since most baseball fans are nauseated by the latest star player to be gunned down in the P.E.D. mess, it stands to reason that his overwhelming All-Star support is coming from Dodgertown, where fans pine for his return and start Twitter pages counting the days until he can continue his pathological ways on the field and in the clubhouse.
As you might imagine, the whole thing has spawned a cyclone of controversy over whether Ramirez should play in the game if he is elected. Dodgers manager Joe Torre says no, and he insists Ramirez would say the same thing. MLB commissioner Bud Sellout is watching the situation closely, hoping Ramirez doesn’t grab one of the top three spots and force the owners’ toady to take action. Since Sellout is still cleaning syrup out of his hair following his world-class waffling during Bonds’ heinous pursuit of Hank Aaron’s career home-run mark, you can imagine he doesn’t want anything to do with the Ramirez All-Star mess.
Not that there should be any debate on the subject. If Ramirez is elected, he plays. His suspension will be up before the All-Star Game, barring a wrath-of-God style spate of rainouts. (Then again, since God is probably an Angels fan, he might just stick it to the cross-town Dodgers.) That means Ramirez will be eligible to shamble onto the Busch Stadium field in his pajama-style uniform and represent the National League. And he should do it. Ramirez’s presence in the game will remind MLB fans of the sport’s two bigger shams – the steroid disgrace and the ridiculous practice of turning the selection of All-Starters into a popularity contest. You say Ramirez doesn’t deserve a spot in the lineup? Well, get in line, because ever since Majoke League Baseball started the fan balloting system, back in 1970, there have been dozens of unworthy starters. Ramirez just happens to be the latest in a long line.
Every year, worthy performers are pushed to the bench by the whims of the public, most of whom don’t know anything about the players for whom they are voting. A doozy is brewing this year, since as of Tuesday, Seattle’s Ken Griffey, Jr., he of the .222 batting average and six whole homers, was running fourth in the AL outfield voting, just 28,000 ahead of teammate Ichiro Suzuki, one of the game’s best. Should junior warm up a bit and show up on SportsCenter a few times, he could zip past Ichiro as a sentimental favorite, not to mention the choice of fans who still think it’s 1998. So Ramirez doesn’t belong? He has plenty of company.
As for the steroid angle, baseball would be getting what it deserves. Even though Sellout and his apologists try to make it sound as if the Manny suspension proves that the MLB has P.E.D. users on the run, it remains unwilling to confront the issues that have arisen (Hall of Fame eligibility, record-breaking debacles, sport-wide lack of credibility) due to the climate fostered by look-the-other-way owners and a truculent union. Forcing broadcasters to explain the whole mess as Ramirez digs into the batter’s box would be absolutely delicious and what the game deserves. And, should Sellout discover that he indeed has a set and prevents a fan-elected Manny from playing, he will contradict his previous simpering stances on how to deal with drug abusers and appear as if he is grandstanding. Simply put, it’s a win-win for those who are disgusted by the past 15 years of baseball history – except for last year’s glorious Phillies World Championship, of course. If Ramirez plays, it indicts the All-Star balloting sham. If he is banned by Sellout, it will make the commissioner look like a spineless hypocrite who hasn’t had the fortitude to deal with other steroid cheats.
For now, count on two things. First, the Dodgers fans will continue to become the biggest jokes in baseball by rooting for Ramirez on the heels of their boorish behavior in last year’s loss to the Phillies in the NLCS. And Sellout will have an army of lackeys punching out All-Star ballots in the MLB offices, in an attempt to out-vote the Ramirez apologists.
Meanwhile, the Giants fans will continue to pay the price for supporting Bonds by being tortured by a poor team.
Ain’t baseball great?
* * *
EL HOMBRE SEZ: Let’s hope that LeBron James has learned that sending a text message the day after snubbing someone who has defeated you is not good sportsmanship and that being a “competitor” does not prevent one from congratulating your conqueror. More important, especially to Cleveland fans, is that James is entering what could be his final year with the Cavs. He can opt out of his contract next summer, and if GM Danny Ferry doesn’t find someone else to score during the post-season crucible, James will be a Knick faster than you can say “Spike Lee has lost his fastball.”…The NBA Finals begin tonight, and since the league can’t jam the Kobe vs. LeBron angle down our gullets (that sound you hear is Uncle David Stern’s weeping), it will have to settle for choosing the best team on the planet. Horrors! Don’t worry, ABC/espn will try to manufacture a Kobe vs. Dwight Howard rivalry, the better to avoid focusing on the game itself. In case you’re wondering, the Lakers win in six…So, you take performance-enhancing drugs, Danica Patrick? That’s hilarious. Wonder if commentators would have been tougher on you if you didn’t look so good in a swimsuit. Try to think next time you tell a joke…Speaking of jokes, Titans QB Vince Young wants to start or move on to another team. Wait, now his agent says he doesn’t. When you’re a running back under center with little accuracy throwing the ball and have demonstrated some personality issues over the past year, it’s best to keep your mouth shut and work hard. When will professional teams stop believing the hype?...At a time when the home run continues to be celebrated too strenuously, Seattle outfielder Ichiro Suzuki continues his Hall of Fame career. His hitting streak stands at 27 games, and he is on pace to collect 256 hits this year. Ichiro has topped 200 hits in each of his eight big-league seasons, has scored at least 100 runs in all eight and has enough Gold Gloves for each of an octopus’ arms. He won’t reach 3,000 hits, because he didn’t enter the Majors until age 27, but he should be a sure-fire, first-ballot Cooperstown inductee…You have to wonder whether LifeLock, the company that has bought the rights to put its name on the jerseys of the WNBA’s Phoenix Mercury, is long for this world. If you decide to spend your marketing dollars in this economy on a sponsorship deal that no one will see, you could be out of business pretty soon. In other sports business news, the Detroit Lions will now be sponsored by Alpo.
* * *
YOU GOT A PROBLEM WITH THAT? Morocco Mole checked in Monday with some big news from the World Champion Philadelphia Phillies: He had received an e-mail informing him he could still buy tickets to the sold-out Boston Red Sox series next week! Perhaps even more important is the fact that Yogi Berra is now running the Phillies’ ticket department. Let’s bring in the prosecutor for this one. Mr. Berra, are the games against the Red Sox sold out? “Yes, sir, they are.” Mr. Berra, can fans still get tickets to the sold-out Red Sox series? “Yes, sir, they can.” Prosecution calls Mr. Bud Abbott and Mr. Lou Costello to the stand. Of course, the doublespeak isn’t a mistake. The Mole and other fans can get tickets to the sold-out Red Sox series, provided they purchase tickets to three other games. Teams have been trying to entice fans to get tickets to games against relatively unsavory opponents for years by using the carrot of the opportunity to see more attractive rivals, but the Phillies have raised this to an art form. From February, they declare the games against popular Junior Circuit opposition “sold out,” and then spend months telling you how to get said ducats. The same goes for fireworks night and Salute to Scrapple Night. It’s their right to engage in such business practices, and it’s our right to laugh at them every time they channel their inner Yogi to tell us how to get tickets to sold-out games. Next up in The Mole’s e-mail box: An invitation next week to buy tickets to the sold-out Red Sox series, when the four-pack gimmick fizzles. The real kick in the pants comes the day after the sold-out Red Sox series, when the Phillies offer fans the chance to buy ticket stubs from the sold-out Red Sox Series.
* * *
AND ANOTHER THING: University of Florida president Bernie Machen says Gators football coach Urban Meyer deserves a raise and should be the highest-paid boss in the Southeastern Conference. On the surface, that makes sense. The stoic Meyer has won two national titles in the past three years and is threatening to zoom past The Ol’ Ball Coach in terms of on-field success. (Meyer still doesn’t have a Heisman, though.) If this were three years ago, Machen would be well advised to give Meyer more dough. The trouble is, this is 2009, and UF has sliced $69 million from its budget over the past two years. Last Tuesday, the board of trustees approved another $42.2 million in cuts. Even though Machen argues the athletic department – fueled primarily by money raised by Big Pigskin – has given $6 mil to the school’s academic departments, he would be sending a horrible message to the rest of the university community by giving Meyer more money. And the coach, who already earns $3.25 million per, would look pretty greedy grabbing another three-quarters of a million, when programs, faculty and resources are being hacked away from the school. Worse, Machen’s actions could have a trickle-down effect at another SEC institution, LSU, which is suffering through its own round of cuts. Tigers coach Les Miles is the conference’s top-paid coach, at $3.751 large a year, and has an escalator clause in his contract that keeps him atop the list. So, while students deal with schools that are trimming back academic offerings, the football coaches could be engaging in a game of top-this. Nice job, Bernie. Here’s an idea for your next move: eliminate the Economics department but give Meyer a solid-gold desk.
-EH-
Thursday, March 5, 2009
Days of Reckoning
EL HOMBRE KNOWS SPORTS
This has not been a good week to be a me-first, overpaid, team-dividing professional athlete. First, Allen Iverson’s “back” flared up, forcing him to the sidelines for at least two weeks, and probably the rest of the year. Then, Dallas Cowboys owner False Face decided it was time to get rid of the NFL’s biggest distraction, Me-O. Fans of drama were overwrought, but those of us who despise sports’ culture of selfishness rejoiced like the producers of Slumdog Millionaire on Oscar night.
Owens’ dismissal and Iverson’s “injury” hardly stemmed the tide of egocentricity. After all, Stephon Marbury has found work with the Celtics, Manny Ramirez just signed with the Dodgers (more on that later) and Chad Johnson remains unfulfilled. As long as there are non-stop highlights on the big screen and a parade of sycophantic “journalists” glorifying the minute accomplishments of top athletes – “LeBron dribbled through his legs!! – there will be self-centered athletes. The Pistons’ and Cowboys’ moves show us that everybody has their limit.
The Iverson case is less notable than L’affair Owens, since his transfer to Antoine Cadillac’s town was affected solely because of his expiring contract. GM Joe Dumars traded Chauncey Billups and his three-year deal to Denver for Iverson’s $21 million albatross, simply to clear room for future activity. As part of the trade, deliriously grateful Nuggets coach George Karl promised to wash and wax Dumars’ car every Saturday this summer. Still, there were some deluded souls who believed Iverson could help the Pistons win. Let’s hope those folks are not allowed to operate heavy machinery. A singular talent who could have led his team to a championship had he played to win, rather than to self-aggrandize, Iverson is all about himself. Always has been. The popular line among wags during Iverson’s time in Philadelphia was, “There’s no ‘I’ in team and no ‘team’ in Iverson.” Perhaps former Georgetown coach John Thompson put it best when asked during a mid-1990s Big East basketball media day about Iverson’s ability to become a point guard. In that unmistakable baritone, Thompson said, “You can’t change a zebra’s stripes.” Even he knew what the guy was about.
After a couple months of the charade, the Pistons found out what it was like to play without Iverson, and they liked it. Now that his “injury” has gotten worse, Detroit can make a charge at the fourth spot in the Eastern Conference hierarchy. The Pistons are 3-0 without Iverson and are back to playing the winning ball they did before he arrived. Danger lurks, of course, because there is always the chance Iverson will heal and demand 40 minutes and 25 shots again. If that happens, abandon all hope. The next chapter of this story should be interesting, since the market for aging, six-foot, ball-hogging two guards might not be so robust during the off-season, especially since half the league will be looking for a government bailout in a few months.
While Iverson braces for an off-season storm, the best part of the Me-O saga is yet to come. He has already provided some insight into his shattered emotions through his mouthpiece, Stephen Naismith. According to Naismith, Me-O feels “betrayed.” Thinks False Face lied to him. And this is just the beginning. There have been no teary-eyed press conferences or carefully-scripted “sit-downs” between Me-O and his apologists. You know the ones. There’s more softballs tossed than at an old King and His Court exhibition. And there’s always a moment when (insert aggrieved athlete’s name here) sits motionless with a single tear running down his cheek, a la the crestfallen Native American from the 1970s “Keep America Beautiful” commercial. One can only imagine the fusillade of emotional artillery Me-O will unload on the general public, in a bid to reinforce his assertion that he is the victim.
Close on the heels of that performance will come the reports from Valley Ranch about the two factions of Cowboy players, those who side with Me-O and those who are celebrating his release as if the government just announced that overpriced cars, jewelry and homes were tax-deductible. As that tempest swirls, False Face will give his side, complete with analysis of just how hard the whole process was and how the team has to “move on.” Chances are, he’ll throw a couple players under the bus, and he might even impugn his own son, team GM Stephen, who most likely was the impetus behind the move. The resulting stew will be so spicy that Rachael Ray would mud-wrestle Martha Stewart on pay-per-view for the rights to the recipe. El Hombre has said it before, and he’ll say it again: False Face may want to win, but he also loves attention and doesn’t care whether it’s of a positive or negative nature.
All of that doesn’t even begin to consider the hours and pages of speculation about the team’s next move and how the Me-O dismissal will affect the team’s performance, not to mention the handicapping of the Me-O sweepstakes, in which executives vie to prove who is more stupid by trying to sign a fading wideout who has poisoned three different franchises. The overwhelming early-line favorite: Al Davis and the Raiders. Duh.
Wow. That sure is a lot to anticipate. Stay tuned for all the action. And if you happen to be a selfish star with a somewhat vulnerable contract position, beware. You could be next, God willing.
* * *
EL HOMBRE SEZ: While the Cavs are celebrating their status as the first NBA team to clinch a playoff spot, the Clippers are hosting “Anybody With A Pulse” night at Staples Center. Anyone actually alive who wants to come and see the team play can do so for free. The team will also throw in a beverage, a frankfurter and the number of a psychiatrist…The NHL trading deadline came and went Wednesday, with the only notable trade involving Olli Jokinen. What, wasn’t Ogie Oglethorpe available?...The NC2A basketball tournament approaches, and that means plenty of high comedy at espn, as smug, corporate Billy Packer clone Jay Bilas jousts with Mr. Bracketology, Joe Lunardi. There’s even a new drinking game surrounding their segments. Every time Bilas is condescending, take a sip. Every time Lunardi looks like he wants to remove Bilas’ liver with a penknife, chug a beer. Chances are, you’ll be smashed in three minutes…The boating accident off the Florida Gulf Coast that claimed two NFL players and a former South Florida team member was truly a tragedy. While we celebrate the survival of one member of the boating party, we must remember the unbelievable power of the sea and the need to respect it. A 20-foot boat was not made to survive six-foot swells 50 miles from shore. Let their loss be a lesson for the rest of us about safety on the water.
* * *
YOU GOT A PROBLEM WITH THAT? The gnashing of teeth over the Eagles’ decision to kick Brian Dawkins to the curb proves that the team’s fans have no idea what they really want. On the one hand, they decry any move not designed to win a Super Bowl. On the other, they become irate when the team makes personnel decisions that will provide long-run help for the team. Granted, the decision on Dawkins couldn’t just be about his value as a safety – which is diminishing, thanks to awful coverage ability. He’s a great leader and a true fan favorite. Re-signing him would have been a tremendous P.R. move and would have engendered significant good will. The fans love Dawkins, and for some, it’s impossible to imagine him in an opponent’s uniform. But from a football standpoint, letting him go to Denver made sense. Yes, he made the Pro Bowl, but he’s not someone you can use in passing situations without manipulating the defense to hide him. That’s hardly the best way to get to – or win – the Super Bowl. This is not a congratulatory letter to the Eagles for the move. It would have been nice for them to use some of their abundant cap space to reward Dawkins for meritorious service. But Eagles fans need to be honest with themselves and ask whether they’re looking for a team that wins or a team that does “the right thing,” because good corporate citizenship doesn’t usually produce a trophy.
* * *
AND ANOTHER THING: How about that Scott Boras? Lucifer’s chief negotiator took one on the chops this week when the Dodgers ended their bidding against themselves and convinced Manny Ramirez to accept $45 million over two years. Boras, who had promised his client something on the order of four years and $130 million, didn’t quite get his price. Now, it would have been better had the Dodgers played some real hardball with the traveling-secretary-hitting bully and his cloven-hoofed rep by lowering their offer every week a deal wasn’t consummated, but the contract as written does favor L.A. Since Ramirez can void the deal after a year, in order to chase another giant offer (as if), he’ll have to hustle and behave himself, as he did during his truncated tenure with the Dodgers last year. Since he doesn’t have the security of a long-term deal, Ramirez can’t dog it, treat team employees poorly and basically act like himself. If he does, he’ll either have to take a paltry $20 million next year – some of it deferred – or go back into a market that doesn’t promise to be much more robust, especially for what will be a 37-year old slugger with a history of malingering. Congratulations to the Dodgers for beating Boras and putting Ramirez in a situation where he has to be a professional – at least if he has any long-term goals.
-EH-
This has not been a good week to be a me-first, overpaid, team-dividing professional athlete. First, Allen Iverson’s “back” flared up, forcing him to the sidelines for at least two weeks, and probably the rest of the year. Then, Dallas Cowboys owner False Face decided it was time to get rid of the NFL’s biggest distraction, Me-O. Fans of drama were overwrought, but those of us who despise sports’ culture of selfishness rejoiced like the producers of Slumdog Millionaire on Oscar night.
Owens’ dismissal and Iverson’s “injury” hardly stemmed the tide of egocentricity. After all, Stephon Marbury has found work with the Celtics, Manny Ramirez just signed with the Dodgers (more on that later) and Chad Johnson remains unfulfilled. As long as there are non-stop highlights on the big screen and a parade of sycophantic “journalists” glorifying the minute accomplishments of top athletes – “LeBron dribbled through his legs!! – there will be self-centered athletes. The Pistons’ and Cowboys’ moves show us that everybody has their limit.
The Iverson case is less notable than L’affair Owens, since his transfer to Antoine Cadillac’s town was affected solely because of his expiring contract. GM Joe Dumars traded Chauncey Billups and his three-year deal to Denver for Iverson’s $21 million albatross, simply to clear room for future activity. As part of the trade, deliriously grateful Nuggets coach George Karl promised to wash and wax Dumars’ car every Saturday this summer. Still, there were some deluded souls who believed Iverson could help the Pistons win. Let’s hope those folks are not allowed to operate heavy machinery. A singular talent who could have led his team to a championship had he played to win, rather than to self-aggrandize, Iverson is all about himself. Always has been. The popular line among wags during Iverson’s time in Philadelphia was, “There’s no ‘I’ in team and no ‘team’ in Iverson.” Perhaps former Georgetown coach John Thompson put it best when asked during a mid-1990s Big East basketball media day about Iverson’s ability to become a point guard. In that unmistakable baritone, Thompson said, “You can’t change a zebra’s stripes.” Even he knew what the guy was about.
After a couple months of the charade, the Pistons found out what it was like to play without Iverson, and they liked it. Now that his “injury” has gotten worse, Detroit can make a charge at the fourth spot in the Eastern Conference hierarchy. The Pistons are 3-0 without Iverson and are back to playing the winning ball they did before he arrived. Danger lurks, of course, because there is always the chance Iverson will heal and demand 40 minutes and 25 shots again. If that happens, abandon all hope. The next chapter of this story should be interesting, since the market for aging, six-foot, ball-hogging two guards might not be so robust during the off-season, especially since half the league will be looking for a government bailout in a few months.
While Iverson braces for an off-season storm, the best part of the Me-O saga is yet to come. He has already provided some insight into his shattered emotions through his mouthpiece, Stephen Naismith. According to Naismith, Me-O feels “betrayed.” Thinks False Face lied to him. And this is just the beginning. There have been no teary-eyed press conferences or carefully-scripted “sit-downs” between Me-O and his apologists. You know the ones. There’s more softballs tossed than at an old King and His Court exhibition. And there’s always a moment when (insert aggrieved athlete’s name here) sits motionless with a single tear running down his cheek, a la the crestfallen Native American from the 1970s “Keep America Beautiful” commercial. One can only imagine the fusillade of emotional artillery Me-O will unload on the general public, in a bid to reinforce his assertion that he is the victim.
Close on the heels of that performance will come the reports from Valley Ranch about the two factions of Cowboy players, those who side with Me-O and those who are celebrating his release as if the government just announced that overpriced cars, jewelry and homes were tax-deductible. As that tempest swirls, False Face will give his side, complete with analysis of just how hard the whole process was and how the team has to “move on.” Chances are, he’ll throw a couple players under the bus, and he might even impugn his own son, team GM Stephen, who most likely was the impetus behind the move. The resulting stew will be so spicy that Rachael Ray would mud-wrestle Martha Stewart on pay-per-view for the rights to the recipe. El Hombre has said it before, and he’ll say it again: False Face may want to win, but he also loves attention and doesn’t care whether it’s of a positive or negative nature.
All of that doesn’t even begin to consider the hours and pages of speculation about the team’s next move and how the Me-O dismissal will affect the team’s performance, not to mention the handicapping of the Me-O sweepstakes, in which executives vie to prove who is more stupid by trying to sign a fading wideout who has poisoned three different franchises. The overwhelming early-line favorite: Al Davis and the Raiders. Duh.
Wow. That sure is a lot to anticipate. Stay tuned for all the action. And if you happen to be a selfish star with a somewhat vulnerable contract position, beware. You could be next, God willing.
* * *
EL HOMBRE SEZ: While the Cavs are celebrating their status as the first NBA team to clinch a playoff spot, the Clippers are hosting “Anybody With A Pulse” night at Staples Center. Anyone actually alive who wants to come and see the team play can do so for free. The team will also throw in a beverage, a frankfurter and the number of a psychiatrist…The NHL trading deadline came and went Wednesday, with the only notable trade involving Olli Jokinen. What, wasn’t Ogie Oglethorpe available?...The NC2A basketball tournament approaches, and that means plenty of high comedy at espn, as smug, corporate Billy Packer clone Jay Bilas jousts with Mr. Bracketology, Joe Lunardi. There’s even a new drinking game surrounding their segments. Every time Bilas is condescending, take a sip. Every time Lunardi looks like he wants to remove Bilas’ liver with a penknife, chug a beer. Chances are, you’ll be smashed in three minutes…The boating accident off the Florida Gulf Coast that claimed two NFL players and a former South Florida team member was truly a tragedy. While we celebrate the survival of one member of the boating party, we must remember the unbelievable power of the sea and the need to respect it. A 20-foot boat was not made to survive six-foot swells 50 miles from shore. Let their loss be a lesson for the rest of us about safety on the water.
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YOU GOT A PROBLEM WITH THAT? The gnashing of teeth over the Eagles’ decision to kick Brian Dawkins to the curb proves that the team’s fans have no idea what they really want. On the one hand, they decry any move not designed to win a Super Bowl. On the other, they become irate when the team makes personnel decisions that will provide long-run help for the team. Granted, the decision on Dawkins couldn’t just be about his value as a safety – which is diminishing, thanks to awful coverage ability. He’s a great leader and a true fan favorite. Re-signing him would have been a tremendous P.R. move and would have engendered significant good will. The fans love Dawkins, and for some, it’s impossible to imagine him in an opponent’s uniform. But from a football standpoint, letting him go to Denver made sense. Yes, he made the Pro Bowl, but he’s not someone you can use in passing situations without manipulating the defense to hide him. That’s hardly the best way to get to – or win – the Super Bowl. This is not a congratulatory letter to the Eagles for the move. It would have been nice for them to use some of their abundant cap space to reward Dawkins for meritorious service. But Eagles fans need to be honest with themselves and ask whether they’re looking for a team that wins or a team that does “the right thing,” because good corporate citizenship doesn’t usually produce a trophy.
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AND ANOTHER THING: How about that Scott Boras? Lucifer’s chief negotiator took one on the chops this week when the Dodgers ended their bidding against themselves and convinced Manny Ramirez to accept $45 million over two years. Boras, who had promised his client something on the order of four years and $130 million, didn’t quite get his price. Now, it would have been better had the Dodgers played some real hardball with the traveling-secretary-hitting bully and his cloven-hoofed rep by lowering their offer every week a deal wasn’t consummated, but the contract as written does favor L.A. Since Ramirez can void the deal after a year, in order to chase another giant offer (as if), he’ll have to hustle and behave himself, as he did during his truncated tenure with the Dodgers last year. Since he doesn’t have the security of a long-term deal, Ramirez can’t dog it, treat team employees poorly and basically act like himself. If he does, he’ll either have to take a paltry $20 million next year – some of it deferred – or go back into a market that doesn’t promise to be much more robust, especially for what will be a 37-year old slugger with a history of malingering. Congratulations to the Dodgers for beating Boras and putting Ramirez in a situation where he has to be a professional – at least if he has any long-term goals.
-EH-
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