TIME FOR THE NFL TO HAND OUT SOME REAL JUSTICE

       

            If this were 2019 – or any other year in the 100-season history of the NATIONAL Football League – and we learned that a collection of Tennessee Titans, eager to keep their status atop the AFC South, had arranged to use the field at a local independent school in order to get in some extra work, we would have praised the players as hard-nosed throwbacks and lionized their commitment to the game. Their desire to keep improving would have been exulted as an example for youngsters, and their dedication to the craft would serve as a prime rebuttal to the popular argument that today’s athletes are spoiled, disinterested and overpaid.

            But this isn’t 2019. It’s the twisted, surreal 2020 NFL season, with its empty stadiums, daily coronavirus testing and your 1-3 Dallas Cowboys. Okay, so there might be a few bright spots amidst the tumult and tragedy. On September 30, when those zealous Titans gathered to practice a little football at Montgomery Bell Academy, they weren’t heroes. They were superspreading perps in a COVID-19 incubator who might just spoil the fun for all of us.

            When the NFL discovered that several members of the Titans organization had tested positive for the virus, it followed protocols and shut down the team’s headquarters until the outbreak could end, and no more positive tests would emerge. Instead of abiding by the rules that were laid out clearly before the season commenced, these Titans decided to sneak away and stage that little pickup practice. Now, it looks like that wasn’t the only one. In fact, there are reports of multiple gatherings that violated league policy and contributed to widespread infection – and big problems for the NFL.

            As of Thursday morning, 23 Titans players, staff, coaches and sundry other employees had tested positive for coronavirus. There was no doubt some irresponsible behavior that triggered the outbreak, and the clandestine workout no doubt accelerated the problem. Tennessee was unable to play its game against Pittsburgh on October 4, and it’s unlikely the Titans and Buffalo will be able to square off next Tuesday, the rescheduled game date on which the NFL hopes all the virus problems will have magically disappeared. Those guys don’t seem so heroic now, do they?

            The question moving forward is whether the NFL and its commissioner, The Invisible Man, have the guts to do what’s right and really hammer Tennessee for its blatant disregard for established protocols and its crashing selfish approach to being part of the 32-member socialist cartel, er, league. This is every bit as bad as the Patriots’ spying and far worse than deflating footballs, filming opposing sidelines or anything else that can be found in New England’s bag of dirty tricks. This has put the credibility of the whole season in jeopardy, because if Tennessee has to postpone any more games, it’s unlikely they can be made up. The NFL was able to reschedule the Titans-Steelers game, but if the Buffalo tilt is called off, it won’t be easy to come up with a new date. More than likely, the game will just be cancelled. At a time when the league schedule is as unpredictable as the next Kardashian “drama,” (Wednesday Night Football, anyone?) the Titans’ actions are highly damaging.

            If the league wanted to do the right thing and teach the Titans and everybody else that this is serious business and that lax, unprincipled behavior won’t be tolerated, it would force Tennessee to forfeit any games moving forward that it cannot play and dock it a first-round draft pick or two. That’s the only way to prove that this is serious business and that those who choose to be cavalier about the rules won’t escape punishment. And real punishment. This can’t end with a meaningless fine or no-dessert-for-a-week-style sentence. Tennessee needs to pay for this, because its inability to do what just about every other team is doing has forced the NFL into a difficult situation, one which could leave it with some serious issues come late December.

            What happens if the Titans’ winning percentage of 13 or 14 games is better than that of Indianapolis, its closest current rival in the AFC South and a squad likely to play 16 times? What happens if the Bills miss the playoffs by a half-game because their game with Tennessee is never played? And suppose injuries and the wear-and-tear of a 13-game stretch of games keeps Pittsburgh – which had to move its bye from October 25 to October 4, from the playoffs? This is all serious stuff, and it can impact negatively the league’s credibility, should it come to pass. 

            The time is now for the other owners – who are famously wary of smacking down other franchises for fear of suffering similar treatment themselves one day – and The Invisible Man to step forward and make Tennessee pay for its poor behavior. From this point on, every game the Titans miss is a forfeit. No scheduling gymnastics. No rearranging everybody else’s seasons because of one team’s misdeeds. The NFL is renowned as an unforgiving confederation. Players who can’t perform get cut. Team weaknesses on the field are exploited mercilessly. Coaches who don’t win are canned. Tennessee decided it didn’t have to abide by the rules. It’s time to make the Titans pay. Dearly.

* * *

            EL HOMBRE SEZ: Like it or not, the Trashcan Bangers from south Texas will be playing in their fourth straight ALCS, and it suddenly looks like they have snapped out of their regular-season torpor to play some pretty good baseball. No one knows for sure if the team is using satellite technology, Ouija boards or the Amazing Kreskin to figure out what rivals are doing, but the thought of MLB’s pariahs reaching – and potentially winning – the World Series is almost delicious enough for El Hombre to hope it happens. Almost…It’s sad and disturbing to see so many people delighting in the low ratings for the NBA Finals. Forget that the games are being played during football season and the MLB playoffs. Forget that basketball is the sport that suffers the most – in El Hombre’s humble (shaddup!) opinion – from a lack of fans. The numbers are low, and some people are loving it. Gee, wonder why that is? It couldn’t be that the league is more than 70 percent Black, and that its players’ social activism on behalf of people of color who have been abused over the centuries doesn’t sit well with some folks. That couldn’t be the reason. Must be something else. Any ideas?...You will have to excuse El Hombre’s delight at the travails of the Cowboys, whose 2020 play is enough to make False Face spontaneously combust. Given the team’s 1-3 record and its crummy play that was only saved by some historically boneheaded special teams behavior by Atlanta, perhaps we can find another country willing to adopt it, so that we as a nation don’t have to be embarrassed by its “America’s Team” moniker…When Oklahoma and Texas get together, you can throw out the records. Given the way the teams have played this year, it’s a good idea to throw out the game film, the uniforms, the mascots and just about anything else. El Hombre can’t wait to tune in to that Iowa State-Kansas State Big 12 Championship Game.

* * *

            YOU GOT A PROBLEM WITH THAT? The Sixers’ decision to hire Doc Rivers was a sound one. He is an experienced coach with a winning pedigree and the gravitas to command the respect of the players and the rest of the organization. But in Joel Embiid and Ben Simmons he has two players who have yet to demonstrate that winning is their primary goal. Each has refused to do the things necessary to move from talented players to championship teammates. If Rivers can get Embiid to get into top shape and convince Simmons that working to develop a jump shot is not an abandonment of his on-court essence, the Sixers might become truly dangerous. But until those two decide that winning is the most important thing, the Sixers can create an amalgam of Red Auerbach, Phil Jackson and Lenny Wilkens and put it on the bench, and it still won’t matter.

            AND ANOTHER THING: El Hombre apologizes (not really) for the second Philadelphia-centered entry, but the recent comments by Phillies managing partner John Middleton demanded a response. In his remarks regarding the decision to “reassign” former GM Matt Klentak – hopefully to a role that has nothing to do with building the team’s roster – Middleton said, “I think the problem the Phillies have had for 100 years is they don’t evaluate talent.” His only hire, Klentak, was proof of that. As Middleton and his “advisors” work to fill the empty GM position, they confront a franchise with a rotten farm system and perhaps the worst bullpen in baseball history. Middleton had better hire someone who knows more about baseball than  mathematics, or that century-long evaluation deficit will continue – and he will be contributing to it once again.

 

-EH-

 

 

PLAY BALL -- SORT OF

            The beautiful thing about baseball over the past 50 years is that no matter how many times the owners and players square off in labor disputes, fans always come back to the ballpark for more peanuts, popcorn and four-hour Yankees-Red Sox games. 

            We may not be sitting in box seats for this season’s 60-game sprint to the playoffs, but you can bet fans will be tuning in to watch their favorite teams – and the Marlins – practice America’s pastime amidst pandemic restrictions and the universal DH catastrophe. These are strange times, and the only way for baseball to match them is with a short campaign resulting from a hideous labor struggle that is merely a precursor to a showdown that will make Medusa look like Blake Lively. 

            Still, tonight, fans will be able to tune in to games that actually count in the standings and once again wonder why every hitter must step out of the box after every pitch to adjust his batting gloves, even if he didn’t swing the bat. Here’s El Hombre’s look at the really big storylines of the abbreviated 2020 season.

            Greed is Good: A big reason why it took so long for Majoke League Baseball to set a schedule for the season was a good, old-fashioned owner-sponsored attempt to break the Players Union’s collective spirit. El Hombre has said it a million times before, but it bears repeating: In disputes between millionaires and billionaires, root for the millionaires. The owners waged a months-long attempt to subdue the union, in a preliminary bout before next year’s battle royale that will almost certainly shut down the game for a long period of time. While a tenuous labor peace prevails at the moment, and fans shouldn’t worry about the nastiness ahead, remember that those who own the teams don’t care one bit about their customers, except as revenue streams. Why else would they charge $13 for a bottle of Bud?

            Justice Delayed: There are few things as wonderful as settling into a stadium seat on a balmy summer night and getting ready for nine innings of baseball. The country’s inability to get the coronavirus pandemic under control has robbed us of enjoying that pleasure this season, but the biggest baseball tragedy of 2020’s fever dream is the inability of fans around the country to rip into the Houston Astros for the brazen cheating that led to their 2017 World Series title. There will be no banging on trashcans, no “concealing” devices under shirts to look like Jose Altuve, and no ability to direct vitriol and clever insults at the team. It’s just not right. And it won’t have the same impact next year. Talk about a lucky break. Even if Houston goes 0-60 this season, it will still have picked up a huge victory. 

            What’s Next, Ghost Runners? Fans of real baseball – i.e. National League baseball – knew the day would come when the forces of evil prevailed, and the designated hitter would become part of their world. Well, 2020 is the beginning of the end of the sport as we have known it for more than 100 years. Although the DH in National League ball isn’t permanent, yet, it will no doubt be part of the next labor agreement, bringing the gimmick into every ballpark and spoiling the fun of seeing managers actually have to do their jobs. Further, the 10^th inning of tie ballgames will begin with a runner on second base, a bastardization of the game that defies description. Why not let the batters hit off tees during extra innings? Or let batting practice pitchers take the mound? Maybe they could use courtesy runners for catchers or mandate only three balls for walks in extra frames. And everybody gets a juice box and a bag of fruit snacks after the game. Ridiculous.

            Making Due: Over the next two-plus months, MLB players must pretend as if every game is being played in Miami, where the population is wise to the Marlins’ Rachel Phelps-style approach to ownership and doesn’t show up to games. Fans in the seats will be replaced by cutouts, and if teams want to be realistic, 90 percent of the stiffs should be looking at their phones during the games. Teams will pipe in fan noise – wonder if the Phillies will broadcast lusty booing when the players mess up – and use video and other technology to replicate a ballgame’s sounds. It’s kind of like what espn does when it tries to make its highlights more exciting. Now, if someone could figure out how to make baseball more exciting…

            Wild and Crazy Guys: In a 60-game season, nothing is certain. That’s right, Tigers fans, your heroes might just win it all. Think about how many teams have looked great in May and June during previous seasons, only to collapse spectacularly as the season reached its arduous, 162-game conclusion. The temptation is to look at the Yankees and Dodgers and pencil them in for a TV-friendly bi-coastal World Series, but with such a short season, just about all of the teams can qualify for the expanded post-season, and those who stay free of serious injury will be most likely to prevail. 

            Which leads El Hombre to…

            Super-Size Me: Sixteen playoff teams? What in the name of the NHL is going on here? This means Kansas City might get in. And the Giants, even with Gabe Kapler managing them. And even…Baltimore. Okay, okay. El Hombre is sorry for losing his mind (shaddup!) momentarily. This actually works – for one year. The shortened season will create a playoff race that will involve every MLB team, except Detroit. Not even a 28-team playoff scenario could help the Tigers. Let’s have a full-on tournament. That ought to keep people’s interest, although once the NFL gets started, it’s tough to imagine a first-round matchup between Colorado and the Reds is going to draw eyeballs in any other city. So, EH provides his imprimatur: Sixteen teams for one time only. The whole world is on its ear. Why not get crazy? 

            And The Winner Is: It’s pretty tempting to pencil in the Dodgers and Yankees into the World Series. After all, they paid for it. Were this a normal, 162-game season, that would be the call. But a 60-game, pandemic-threatened sprint requires drastic measures. Let’s give the NL to the Dodgers, who will bump off Atlanta in the NLCS. As for the Junior Circuit, El Hombre is going with Tampa Bay. Nobody does more with less than the Rays, and in this setting, they have enough to reach the Big Show. However, they will lose in five to L.A., which takes its first Series title since Tommy LaSorda was in charge and chasing the Phillie Phanatic around the stadium.

* * *

            EL HOMBRE SEZ: The NBA announced Monday that none of the 300-plus people in its Orlando “Bubble” had tested positive for coronavirus, quite an accomplishment given the level of contact players have during practices and scrimmages. Guess the threat of that “Snitch Line” has scared some people into behaving themselves. It also means there isn’t any right swiping going on. Let’s see how everything plays out when some team members need a little “consoling” after a loss…Meanwhile, the NHL is set to resume play in a little over a week, with all games played in Canada. That’s a good thing, because given the state of the teams in that country, it’s the only way the Stanley Cup will be won in up in North Minnesota for a long time…Let’s hear it for Washington NFL franchise owner Little Danny Snyder, who is changing the name of his team after being reminded by sponsors that they can take away their millions just as easily they can give them. This has nothing to do with helping to rid the landscape of racist terms; it’s all about the chicken, as the kids say, and Snyder remains a contemptible individual, no matter how hard the NFL’s propaganda partners try to make him out to be upstanding…Let’s hear it for Bryson DeChambeau, who in between swallowing entire cannisters of protein powder and swatting 400-yard drives has managed to alienate a good chunk of the golfing community with his complaining about how the PGA’s TV apologizers are supposed to help him build his brand, rather than showing the tantrums he throws on the course. That’s why it was particularly gratifying to see him try to calculate how many shots he hit on the 15^th at Muirfield last week. The final tally was 10 and could have been a message from the golfing gods to stop the moaning.

* * *

            YOU GOT A PROBLEM WITH THAT? So, now Ben Simmons is a four man, eh? The Sixers have seemingly ended their experiment with Simmons at the point and have given him a numeric promotion (one to four in the roundball lexicon) to a spot where shooting the three-pointer isn’t so important in the job description. The only problem is that the modern power forward is supposed to shoot the ball, too. He doesn’t always have to crank it up from behind the arc, but he should be able to hit a 15-footer. Simmons still can’t do that, and everybody who is any good the Sixers will play knows that. Simmons may be able to get away with his one-dimensional offensive game against the NBA’s chumps – of which there are many – but once a good defensive team lines up against him, Simmons will be exposed. There are always reports that he is working on his shot, that he will be taking jumpers and that he will become the complete player the Sixers need him to be. Until then, he can play every position on the court, but he will never be a first-rate star. 

* * *

            AND ANOTHER THING: It was amusing to hear some of the NBA players in the league’s Mousetown “bubble” complaining about their accommodations. It turns out the food wasn’t to their gourmet standards, and the thread count on the sheets wasn’t high enough. Athletes are constantly reminding us how tough they are, but it seems more likely that the bravado-filled talk doesn’t refer to any interruption in their five-star lifestyles or criticism from the media. They will huff and puff on the court and then whine when someone has the temerity to mention that their on-field/court/ice performance isn’t quite commensurate with the Fort Knox-level paychecks they have been receiving. It was left to Oklahoma City center Steven Adams to provide a little perspective about the brutal conditions the players were enduring. “This is not Syria,” he said. “It’s not that hard.” Thank you, Steven. Let’s hope your peers took a little time away from their pedicures to pay attention. 

-EH-

LET THE BUYERS BEWARE

Monday afternoon, all-Big 12 Oklahoma State running back Chuba Hubbard tweeted his displeasure at a photograph of head coach Mullet “I’m a man, I’m 40!” Gundy wearing a t-shirt bearing the logo of One America News, a fledgling right-wing media enterprise which Gundy had praised earlier this year. 

            Since this is America, and freedom of speech is a right protected by the Constitution, The Mullet can get his “news” from any source he wants. But Hubbard is also allowed to speak out about how it feels to be a young black man playing for a coach who endorses an outlet that has, among other incendiary takes, referred to Black Lives Matter as “a farce.” It wasn’t long before other OSU players took to social media in support of Hubbard, and later that same day Gundy and Hubbard appeared in what looked like a hostage video, during which Hubbard actually apologized for tweeting out his feelings. 

            A day later, predictably, Gundy read a mea culpa designed to demonstrate his newfound appreciation for his players’ concerns. His delivery was as wooden as Roger Dorn’s during the Cleveland team’s American Express commercial in “Major League” and was received well by some. Others weren’t so convinced. Of course, believing that The Mullet had actually changed his feelings after one 24-hour period is simplistic at best and dangerous at worst. This was the guy who back in April said he would be bringing his players back soon to campus, despite the burgeoning pandemic, because he didn’t want to stop the flow of dollars from university or state. 

            The issue here isn’t whether Gundy should be fired for his political beliefs or news channel choices. He shouldn’t be. (NOTE: If the accusations made by former Colorado players that The Mullet used the N-word in a 1989 game between Oklahoma State and the Buffaloes are true, then it’s time for him to go.) The larger question is whether Hubbard’s and his teammates’ posts signal a new dawn in athletes’ activism. As college sports stumble back to life in the midst of the COVID-19 pandemic, protests continue across the country in response to police brutality and institutional racism, and the NC2A continues to do everything in its power to limit the rights of its athletes in the name of “amateurism”, athletes everywhere are becoming emboldened and could well create a long-needed shift in the power dynamic across the nation.

            Ohio State students were welcomed back to campus this week with a form they had to sign that absolved the institution of any liability should any of them contract coronavirus during their “voluntary” workouts. Athletes at other schools will no doubt have to do the same thing when they arrive on campus. All this to make sure the institutions are protected, even if the kids aren’t. 

            As we move forward while confronting the dueling crises of a pandemic (better get your fill of college sports early in the fall, folks) and substantial civil unrest, athletes and their families should be paying close attention to what schools do to assure students’ safety, how they respond for calls to repair racist activities of the past and present and whether they respond enthusiastically to the opportunity to help athletes profit from their names, images and likenesses. Those who do will be able to make informed decisions about remaining on campus and where they should be committing when recruited. 

            In the past, athletes have chosen their schools based on playing time, facilities, academic programs, coaches’ sales pitches, location, historic success and a host of other criteria, some of which are quite banal. “Golly, Mom and Dad, Clemson’s football building has a sliding board in it. I want to go there!” While some of the reasons will always remain crucial to the final decisions, the behaviors of people and schools during these extraordinary times should offer significant evidence of where players – particularly African-Americans – want to spend four years (or at least one or two before they transfer). 

            Players and their families should start paying closer attention to what coaches believe, what institutions celebrate and whether those behaviors align with their beliefs and what is important to them. If Gundy still wants to watch OAN, that’s his right. But that might be a problem if he wants to convince a four-star African-American quarterback to play for him. If a school wants to become a magnet for players who want some of rights and privileges enjoyed by their coaches – bonuses for success, ability to profit in the community from their exploits and relative freedom of movement between job opportunities – then its president had better not be chairing a committee of fellow big shots who are trying to squelch athletes’ freedoms. 

            If athletes want to affect change at schools and within athletic departments, they can do so by choosing colleges whose officials and coaches care about social justice, rather than just issuing mea culpas when they get caught doing things that upset people. Further, parents, community leaders and others who have influence over young people should be monitoring the those competing for high school athletes’ services. That way, they can provide information and guidance about who is recruiting the youngsters. Nothing forces change in college sports more than poor performances by teams, diminishing revenues and bad public relations. Yes, Clemson may have a beach volleyball court at its football complex. But it also has a building on campus named for Benjamin Tillman, an ardent racist. It’s time to make one of those facts more important than the other when it comes to athletic recruiting. 

* * *

            EL HOMBRE SEZ: It took espn 1:45 of “Long Gone Summer” to mention that Mark McGwire and Sammy Sosa might have used some funny vitamins to jack all those homers during the magical steroid summer of ’98. Who makes the decisions to gloss over things like this? Is there a big meeting in which someone says, “Look, these guys looked like Macy’s Thanksgiving Day parade floats, but if we talk about their go-go juice usage, folks won’t watch,” and everybody just goes along? It’s ridiculous and yet another reason espn can’t be counted on consistently for truthful programming…Speaking of baseball, it looks like we might have an agreement between players and owners that will allow for a truncated 2020 season. Might. It’s still extremely possible that both sides will screw this up, and that the only ball we’ll see is the Korean League, or the 96^th airing of “Bull Durham.” (Not that there’s anything wrong with that.)…Among the amenities promised NBA players when they bivouac at the “bubble” in Mousetown for the remainder of the ’19-20 season is a manicure/pedicure service. El Hombre is trying to imagine what Bill Russell, Wes Unseld, Maurice Lucas or Bill Laimbeer would have had to say about that.

* * *

            YOU GOT A PROBLEM WITH THAT? News of Eagles guard Barrett Brooks’ torn Achilles tendon has rattled the franchise and its fan base. Now, the team must decide whether to promote a reserve from within to take Brooks’ place, pursue the unwise path of re-signing Jason Peters to play inside, after his glittering career as a left tackle, pick up a cheap free agent or get aggressive and find a front-line replacement. El Hombre votes for the aggressive approach. Although the team is way over the cap for the 2021 season, thanks to a spate of long-term deals, and inking (or trading for) a legitimate starter would stress an already difficult money situation, the team has a great chance to win the NFC East this year and merely patching a major hole in the middle of the line will have significant consequences. Oft-injured QB Carson Wentz needs as much protection as possible, and leaving him vulnerable to A-gap blitzes isn’t the best way to do that. Further, since the Eagles’ receiving corps isn’t made up of 7-Eleven types (always open), Wentz will need more time to find someone who has – perhaps – shaken free of a defender. Putting a turnstile in front of him on the line won’t aid his efforts any. It makes sense to overpay for Brooks’ replacement for this year and perhaps next, since this is his second torn Achilles, and though he showed superhuman courage in coming back so quickly from the first, the body can only withstand so much abuse. NFL teams have no guarantee that contention windows will stay open for more than a year, much less three or four, and sacrificing 2020 for the future is a bad decision.

* * *

            AND ANOTHER THING: As the nation opens up gradually – or, in some places, too quickly – people are beginning to look a bit forward to the idea that college football will defy the pandemic and provide us three months of Saturday entertainment. That’s a nice thought, but it would be wise for fans to temper their expectations. As colleges across the country try to figure out how to return to campus, they are also making plans for a return to the remote educational models that prevailed earlier this year, as states shut down activities, and toilet paper hoarding became the new national pastime. With experts predicting sustained life for the coronavirus, and states experiencing spikes in cases thanks to premature loosening of restrictions, the chances of another widespread national crisis are quite real. Although some states may ignore a growing number of cases and power forward, others won’t. That means campus closures and cessations of college sports. It’s not guaranteed, and it’s not necessarily universal, but everyone should understand that there could well be interruptions as the fall moves forward.

-EH-

PLAY BALL, YOU IDIOTS!

            Rob Manfred, Majoke League Baseball’s tough-guy commissioner who took away the Astros’ dessert for two weeks after Houston cheated its way to the 2017 World Series title, has guaranteed us there will be baseball this year.

            “I can tell you unequivocally we are gonna play Major League Baseball this year,” Manfred said.

            That’s a pretty definitive statement for someone who is presiding over yet another round of clown college-quality negotiations between owners and players. If it takes an imposition from the top of a 50-game (or 10-game, or whatever) schedule that half the players boycott, Manfred is going to do it. And as the millionaires and billionaire squabble over control of the game and their shares of a smaller – but still substantial – pile of money, the biggest loser in all of this is a sport that is facing an uncertain future, as its fan base ages toward irrelevance with advertisers, and the feast of entertainment options around it lures more and more young people away from it.

            Manfred’s proclamation may have cheered some baseball fans, but the idea of a 50-game sprint to a bloated playoff tournament is as appetizing as a hot dog that has endured eight innings in the brackish waters of a vendor’s tank. Some people may watch. Many won’t, and when baseball tries to reopen fully next spring, it will do so in front of fewer fans and after having taken one more step toward an irrelevance that could have been avoided, or at least prolonged.

            A 2017 study by Sports Business Journal found that the average baseball fan was 57 years old, seven years older than the average NFL fan and 15 ahead of the typical NBA partisan. That was three years ago, and you can bet MLB’s fan base hasn’t skewed younger since then. And since baseball isn’t too keen on filling up commercial breaks with advertisements for Consumer Cellular, Colonial Penn Life Insurance and prostate-care supplements, the graying fan base isn’t too encouraging. Those old-folks promotions don’t generate the same revenue as do ads for cars, fast-food joints and reality shows. 

            According to the study, only 24 percent of baseball fans at the time were under 35. And since Little League participation has dropped consistently since the 1990s, it’s unlikely American youngsters are going to develop into rabid MLB fans in the coming years, thereby increasing that statistic. Baseball can institute robot umpires, seven-inning games, ghost runners on second at the beginning of extra innings and dress its players up like characters from “Stranger Things”, and it still won’t matter. The game’s fan base is aging. Its languid pace doesn’t appeal to our shorter-attention-span culture. So, what’s the absolute worst thing to do in that situation? 

            Piss off the base.

            El Hombre has been quite clear about his preferred side in the ongoing struggle between the owners and players, so he isn’t going to revisit that subject. However, as baseball refuses to find a way back onto the field in a way that will satisfy fans, it risks obsolescence. Had it found a way to return by July 4, the sport could have had an entire month’s head start before the NBA and NHL resumed play and even beaten NFL training camps off the starting line. Further, it would have been played during its conventional window, something the basketball and hockey folks couldn’t have done. It’s still hard to imagine folks getting excited about the Stanley Cup finals in August. 

            Earlier this week, the MLB Players Association presented a counteroffer to the owners that should serve as a basis for responsible negotiations that produce a season that can be considered legitimate, not some 50-game lark. Should the two sides come to an agreement, they will each suffer some short-term pain, in return for a bit of long-term security. Baseball’s aging base may be loyal, but it has a breaking point. If baseball messes up this year, even the old timers won’t be back in the same numbers. Do the math: as the current target audience ages and falls away, and the younger demographic loses interest, the long-term prognosis for baseball isn’t too attractive. That doesn’t mean the sport is doomed tomorrow or even in 10 years, especially since 60 is the new 40 – or at least that’s what El Hombre hopes. But any business that insists on alienating its best customers will eventually wither. If MLB teams don’t get onto the field pretty damn quickly, they will lose the one group of fans on which they have been counting. 

            And remember, there’s a “Rockford Files” marathon on TV next week. That’s a heckuva lot better than a Rockies-Marlins game.

* * *

            EL HOMBRE SEZ: The eight rotten NBA teams that have been left out of the playoff hunt – for darn good reason – are upset that playing no games this summer will create a huge layoff that will hurt them next season. Here’s a news flash: the lack of competition won’t be the major culprit; their awful rosters will be. But since El Hombre is a generous soul, he proposes the NBA stage The Crap Tournament, which pits the eight roundball disasters against each other. Only there should be one catch: the losing teams advance in the best-of-three series. That way, fans will know who the true worst squad is. Put everything you have on the Knicks…In other NBA news, the league has floated the concept of a condensed 2020-21 season that would start Dec. 1 and squeeze all 82 games into a time period that would allow for an ending close to the traditional conclusion of the season, and one that would allow for players to compete for the U.S. in the Tokyo Olympics, now scheduled to begin July 23 of next year. That would lead to more back-to-backs. There might even be some back-to-back-to-back gauntlets for teams, or as the Knicks fans will refer to them, “stink-stank-stunk.”…Now that NASCAR has banned Confederate battle flags from its racetracks, the big question is how stridently the racing organization will police its new edict. Should it apply the same zero-tolerance policy that it does to those who try to sell bootleg apparel, it will do just fine. One more thing about the flags: They represent a rebellion against the United States that failed. When you lose a war, you don’t get to keep your symbols…Michael Jordan and his team landed a massive, 442.3-pound marlin during a $3 million fishing tournament off the coast of North Carolina. Alas, the creature wasn’t heavy enough to win Jordan any money, and rumor has it the Bulls legend immediately christened it “The Scott Burrell of fish” and lambasted it for not doing enough to help him win…Duke AD Kevin White is concerned that new legislation allowing college athletes to pursue compensation for their names, images and likenesses will force schools to “abandon a model” that has been successful. Let’s hope so. That “model” has allowed colleges – along with coaches and ADs like White – to reap tremendous financial rewards from their athletes’ exploits, while sharing none of the largesse with the athletes. Sure, there is a chance certain schools will establish protocols to ensure some recruits will be able to have more endorsement opportunities than others, but since Duke has hired an outside firm to help it manage the new path, it’s unlikely the Blue Devils will be at a disadvantage. Here’s an idea: When White and his AD friends receive bonuses for teams’ successes at their schools, perhaps they could funnel the money to the players, instead of profiting personally. Think that will happen? Naaahhhh!!!

* * *

            YOU GOT A PROBLEM WITH THAT? Once the NBA season re-starts, the Sixers will be counting heavily on Ben Simmons for any playoff success. That’s not good news. Even if Simmons is completely healthy – and a back injury forced him out of action before the league ceased operation due to the coronavirus – he remains an extremely unreliable leader, thanks to his skill set and attitude. The first and most obvious trouble is Simmons’ refusal to develop a reliable outside shot, which makes him more guardable, particularly in playoff settings, when open-court fun evaporates and teams must negotiate the halfcourt. Without a jumper from outside 15 feet, Simmons makes it easier for top teams to contain him in tight confines. Worse is the fact that by not developing the shot, Simmons appears to think his development is complete and that he doesn’t need to improve. That’s no way for a leader to behave, and it raises significant questions about whether he can become the type of player capable of lifting a franchise to the top of the NBA. Simmons has remarkable skill and talent, but it’s imperative that he becomes more complete, or the Sixers will never win a title with him on the roster. 

* * *

            AND ANOTHER THING: It will be extremely interesting to see whether the NFL’s Invisible Man, who last week released a video expressing contrition for not listening more closely to players’ complaints about racism and for not respecting their protests – which included taking a knee during the playing of the national anthem – will stick by his new stance once the games start this season and team members kneel, raise fists or do something else in protest. Roger Goodell sounds as if he has developed a greater understanding of the issues about which players are angry. But there will be considerable pushback from plenty of populations, including Mr. Twitter himself, who has already weighed in, and some of the NFL owners, who approve Goodell’s salary and who have shown themselves to be no fans of protest, particularly if it upsets fans, political figures or media outlets. Forget that the protests are about police brutality and are not against the flag or armed forces, as those who dislike the activists insist. Goodell will have to make a big decision come exhibition game time, and it’s a good bet he will bow to external forces and outlaw kneeling. It may make his bosses happy, but it will infuriate the players, 70 percent of whom are black and who are fed up with brutality. The Invisible Man looks good now, but he’s like a rookie who shines during mini-camp. Once the real action starts, things get a lot tougher, and the spring star wilts.

-EH-

NOW DO YOU SEE WHY HE TOOK A KNEE?

            If anyone in the U.S. doesn’t understand now why Colin Kaepernick took a knee during the national anthem four years ago, he or she just isn’t interested in comprehending the quarterback's intent. 

            It wasn’t to disgrace the flag.

            He wasn’t being anti-American.

            He was protesting the brutal police treatment of black Americans. Period. 

            Oh, and the flag that all his critics wrapped themselves in was the shield that protected his protest. Kaepernick was protesting exactly what happened in Minneapolis last week. And in countless other U.S. cities over the past decades and centuries. You can spew jingoistic outrage about how you support our troops, but you cannot deny – if you are at all interested in being an honest and thoughtful person – that Kaepernick’s anger was justified. 

            As sports tries to stir from its coronavirus-inspired hibernation, its players, coaches, executives and fans are grappling with the fact that the racism problem in this country is real and widespread. Some are speaking out. Others are supporting those who have to fight the fight every second. Many are listening. And learning. Talking. Those are good things. They are necessary things. But they aren’t enough. If they are not backed up by action, we won’t ever progress from where we are today.

            Nothing is more about tribalism than the world of sports. My team can beat your team, which by the way, stinks. My school is better than your school. My quarterback is better than yours. We arrange ourselves in tribes based on allegiances to our favorites. It’s natural for humans to seek out people with like interests and backgrounds. In sports, that means Eagles fans will back each other in any confrontation, sometimes to the detriment of civilized society. There is nothing wrong with supporting a team or school and bonding with others allied with the same squad. 

            But our connection with tribes of all kinds must not be based on hatred and intolerance. It’s one thing to root against the Cowboys. It’s another to foment distrust and animus against another race. Or gender. Or sexual orientation. (Those are topics for another time.) Colin Kaepernick didn’t take a knee to disrespect our armed forces. He wasn’t agitating for the overthrow of the government. He wanted to make everyone aware that some members of the law enforcement community were and had been treating black people violently and without care. 

            He chose to do it during the national anthem because it generated awareness. And he did it because he was protected by a Constitution that guarantees free speech. As the anger mounted against him, his message became distorted by those trying to use him for political, social and just plain hateful purposes. 

            The amusing thing about all of this is that spending the couple minutes it takes for the anthem to reach its first-verse conclusion out on the concourse of a stadium or arena reveals hundreds of people showing no respect at all for the anthem. They are talking, buying food and drink, searching for their sections, going to the bathroom and doing just about anything other than standing at attention, with their hats removed, and singing along. But because those folks are law-abiding Americans, they get passes. 

            The killing of George Floyd by a Minneapolis police officer has triggered fury that has been simmering – and often reaching a boil – for centuries. It has spawned protests, but what it must do now is catalyze honest discussion throughout the country about what it really means to be a black person in America. 

            A few years ago, El Hombre spent a couple hours interviewing a black minister in Wilmington, DE, about race and that city’s efforts to emerge from poverty and violence. El Hombre asked the minister what would happen first if the two of them had the opportunity to solve the nation’s problem with racism.

            “That would require a conversation in which you would have to hear some very uncomfortable things,” the minister said.

            “But what if you hear some things you don’t like?” El Hombre asked.

            The minister laughed.

            “I’ve already heard them,” he said.    

            He’s right. He had heard it all, and El Hombre hadn’t heard enough. Kaepernick tried to open our ears, but his silent power was no match for the cacophony of those unwilling to look past their own biases. As sports return – we hope – those involved will be speaking out again. Before fans dismiss them, they should find somebody who looks different than they are and have that uncomfortable conversation. Listen. Learn. They may not change their minds completely, but they will gain some knowledge. That’s a great start.    

* * *

            EL HOMBRE SEZ: When El Hombre gets his three wishes from Jeannie, one of them will be for the Almighty’s imagination, just so he can dream up something like what happened in a New York courtroom Monday. A judge dismissed Lenny Dykstra’s defamation suit against Ron Darling on the grounds that Dykstra had already defamed himself so thoroughly with his actions that no one could do any more damage to his reputation. Darling had written in his autobiography that Dykstra had hurled a string of vile epithets at Boston pitcher Oil Can Boyd during the 1986 World Series, and Dykstra claimed the book had harmed his rep. We’re at the point where if someone referred to Dykstra as Joe Stalin, the Soviet Man of Steel’s estate might sue…Uh-oh, Dookies: A Florida State Court judge ruled Monday that Zion Williamson has to answer questions about whether he accepted cash and prizes from Durham Community College to play ball for Saint, er, Coach Mike Krzyzewski. The imbroglio stems from a lawsuit brought against Williamson by his former marketing manager, who claims she was wrongly replaced. Williamson’s attorneys – and one would imagine Duke fans everywhere – will appeal. But this puts us one step closer to finding out that the Blue Devils weren’t attracting all those five-star recruits just because Krzyzewski is such a great guy. Wouldn’t that be a sin?...The NBA is hoping to start its season again by July 31, with the Finals’ concluding by Oct. 12, a time period that will bring a satisfactory conclusion to the season but will also put the league up against the NFL and (El Hombre hopes) the MLB’s pennant chase and post-season. Anyone expecting fans to spend August and September watching roundball is wishing and hoping and dreaming. But such is life in a pandemic. And if the 2019-20 season ends in mid-October, when does the ’20-21 campaign commence? Strange times, indeed…At this point, the math seems pretty simple: MLB players want to play 114 games, and the owners want 50. The players want 50% of their salaries guaranteed, and the owners want to pay 40%. So, how about 82 games and 45%? Makes sense, doesn’t it? Get on it!

* * *

            AND ANOTHER THING: With minor leaguers facing highly-uncertain futures, and the entire farm system model at risk, thanks to the cratered economy and Majoke League Baseball’s attempt to gain control (read: cut costs) of the bushes, huge credit should go to David Price and Sean Doolittle for stepping up and promising to pay salaries of players in their teams’ systems. Price is paying the 200-plus players in the Dodgers’ system $1,000 each this month, while Doolittle convinced the Nationals’ big-league players to pick up the balance of the weekly $400 stipends the minor-leaguers were scheduled to receive, before the franchise cut them. Doolittle’s advocacy – and his teammates’ generosity – shamed the Nats’ owners into coughing up the full amount. Price is due to make about $31 million this year, so it’s not like he’s going to be eating beans for dinner or anything, but $200,000-plus is no joke, so he is to be commended. So are the Nationals. As for the owners, El Hombre hopes they won’t have to serve cut-rate caviar on their yachts this summer. 

* * *

            YOU GOT A PROBLEM WITH THAT? Fans often wonder what NFL players say to each other on the field, when the pressure mounts, and the action is at its peak. This week, Eagles wide receiver DeSean Jackson suggested TV networks make up for the lack of fan noise on broadcasts by putting microphones on players and airing their banter, comments, insults and trash talk. It’s a great idea. In theory. But do the players – and especially the NFL – want to expose the public to what is really said? El Hombre doesn’t think so. Forget about the bad words and how creatively the players use them. Think about the wildly politically incorrect things that are said on the field. The NFL sure doesn’t want that in the public record. And how about momentary flare-ups between coaches and players that get settled almost immediately after they start? That’s not good for business, either. Fans would love an inside look like that, but the league can’t afford to provide it. About the only person in the league capable of wearing a microphone is Colts’ QB Phillip “Goshdarnit” Rivers. Or, maybe someone could arrange for full access to a BYU scrimmage. But an NFL game? [Expletive] no!

-EH-

COME ON, AMERICA. TAKE WHAT YOU CAN GET

We Americans have a strange way of rationalizing our habit of wanting more. It’s why our credit card balances are often equal to the GDPs of some small European countries and our collective ability to think in terms of the future often doesn’t extend beyond the doughnut. 

“I’ll take care of it later.” 

            And later.

            Until…

            Well, you know.

            We want more leisure time.  More money. More things. More comfort. More ease. That’s why, when an American says something along the lines of, “When this is over, I will never fail to appreciate (family/good health/what I have/cold beer) again,” the rest of the world shakes its head. Yes, U.S. citizen, you are going to fail in that humble pursuit, because you want more.

            Back in March, when the world of sports closed its doors like an angry homeowner driving away a solicitor, we mourned the lack of programming. We craved competition. We wanted to talk sports. Watch sports. Gamble on sports. And we let everyone know that it didn’t matter what format sports took when they returned, we were going to be delighted and even satisfied. Fans or no fans. Shortened seasons. Odd playoff formats. The espn NBA pre-game show. The Mets. We didn’t care. Just give us the goods.

            Well, here we are, on the precipice of sports’ – and golf’s – return, and we are already bemoaning some of the compromises we will have to make in order to enjoy professional (we’ll get to the colleges at a later date) athletics. Turns out those involved in the fun and games are a bit confused about the whole thing, too. 

            The strange part of it is that we should be welcoming back sports in any format we can get them. If you have been forced to go without beer for a few months, and someone offers you a Natty Light, are you going to turn it down and wait for a delicious Toadstool IPA, with hints of toe jam, cauliflower and mulch? Let’s hope not. Grab the Natty and be happy about it. 

            But that’s not how we roll in the old USA. We want what we want, when we want it. Right now, that’s no way to be. So, if the NBA proposes a playoff format that combines the group stage of the World Cup, the NCAA Tournament and Family Feud, don’t complain. Enjoy the basketball and try to figure out how the league and its propaganda partners are going to help Zion Williamson get as far as possible in the competition. If the NHL is going to exclude seven teams – especially the execrable Dead Things – from its revival, so be it. Was anybody really hankering to watch an Ottawa-San Jose showdown in an empty arena, in July? Come to think of it, would anybody want to see that in February in front of a packed house? 

            These are the strangest times for sports anybody has ever encountered. Baseball players won’t be allowed to spit. NBA stars may have to make their trash-talk G-rated, the better to prevent profane slurs about opponents’ families from being caught by microphones in silent arenas. And if two hockey players drop the gloves without a bloodthirsty crowd cheering them on, will they still throw down, or will they merely consent to mediation to settle their differences? 

            It’s going to be a long time before everything looks normal again. Packed houses are way off in the future. But there will be some real competition involving the best players in the world soon, and there had better not be any whining about formats or social distancing in dugouts or quarantining those who test positive for coronavirus. It’s time to take what we can get. El Hombre knows that’s not easy for us, because we are supposed to get whatever we want, and for those with Amazon Prime, get it in two days or less. All of that will return. It just isn’t coming back this summer. Or this fall, for that matter. It may not even occur in the winter. But just as life returned to normal after the 1918 Spanish Flu pandemic, which preceded the Roaring Twenties and sports’ first Golden Age, we will once again have the opportunity to pay too much for tickets, spend $14 bucks on a 12-ounce beer, high-five the people seated around us and go to the bathroom at games whenever we want. 

            Those watching at home will get the same made-for-TV spectacles they are used to seeing. Eventually. For now, we are going to have to adopt a word that has disappeared from our vernacular and certainly from our behavior: compromise. We must take what is given to us and like it. And the first one who complains will be forced to watch an unending stream of Marlins games, in the type of setup the Minister of Interior used to disabuse Alex DeLarge of his ultraviolence predilection. Sports are coming back, probably in a format that isn’t perfect or that you do not like. Enjoy them as they are, even if that feels positively un-American.

* * *

            EL HOMBRE SEZ: Anybody who thought the sanitized version of Michael Jordan’s response to the idea of Isiah Thomas’ playing on the 1992 Olympic “Dream Team” was true should contact El Hombre about purchasing the large tract of land he owns on Mercury. Jordan didn’t want Thomas on the team, and the recent airing of Jack McCallum’s 2011 recording of Jordan’s comments saying he wouldn’t play if Thomas was chosen proves it. It’s just another reason why people should consider “The Last Dance” a fine piece of entertainment but hardly a reliable bit of historical matter…As dozens of players continue to flood the transfer portal, the NC2A is allowing players to make money off their names, images and likenesses, and prep players are heading to the G League for a season of exhibition games before moving on to the NBA, a prominent D-I coach warns of “unintended consequences” from the increased opportunities for players. Such as? How about locker room discontent over which players get the nicest cars or biggest appearance fees from local merchants? Or a lack of development for those G-Leaguers, who won’t play in a game that really matters all year? It’s great that players have more rights, but it’s going to take some time to make sure this all works well…There is talk that 53-year old Mike Tyson, whose recent social media posts show him looking fit and powerful, could fight Evander Holyfield, 57, with proceeds going to charity. It would be the boxers’ third meeting in the ring and is definitely something Tyson considers, ahem, appetizing…Next month, UConn will cut multiple sports from its athletic department, due to significant financial losses, and it will blame the coronavirus for the move. The real culprit is a rotten football program that has gone 6-30 the past three seasons and has been hemorrhaging money for most of the decade. The Huskies have a diminutive fan base, little-to-no tradition and a recruiting base that hardly produces a collection of five-star recruits. (Or four-stars. Or…) Still, the school has kept up the charade of a running an FBS program, and now it must cut other sports to support a huge budget chasm for a program that will never be any good. What a joke.

* * *

            YOU GOT A PROBLEM WITH THAT? The releases of Todd Zolecki’s new book and John Barr’s documentary about late Phillies pitcher Roy Halladay devote considerable attention to his addiction, depression and physical pain, painting compelling portraits of the star’s struggles. It isn’t difficult to see how all of those circumstances contributed to his tragic death, and it’s highly unlikely Philadelphia fans will look on his life with anything other than compassion. Let’s hope these glimpses of Halladay’s experiences help others understand that monsters like addiction and depression afflict many other people and that their impacts manifest themselves in many different ways, some of which are disruptive and potentially harmful to others. Halladay will be viewed sentimentally because of his significant contributions to the Philly sports scene, but it’s important that fans provide the same concern and understanding for other athletes (and everybody else fighting with these powerful foes) when they encounter setbacks due to their vulnerabilities in these situations. Halladay’s time with the Phillies was outstanding, and he was the consummate ace, whose work ethic and tenacity endeared him to local fans. The revelations about his battles with addiction and depression should help us develop empathy for others in the same situations.

* * *

            AND ANOTHER THING: Sunday’s golf match between the Eldrick Woods and Phil Mickelson-led teams was pretty darn entertaining, especially when Dreamy Tom split his pants holing a wedge shot on the seventh. The competition was fun, and so was the banter between the players and commentators, particularly – of course – Charles Barkley. In regard to Brady, it has been amusing to see how tightly the media holds onto aging stars. As the new Tampa Bay QB cavorts around the Gulf Coast, entering houses by mistake and holding unsanctioned workouts, the praise for him is unrelenting. It’s nearly impossible to find a voice questioning the Buccaneers’ decision to sign him, and people are throwing down some Real Money on the Bucs to win the Super Bowl. That’s borderline insane. Not only does the team still have issues along the offensive line, its secondary remains shaky. And then there is Brady, who completed a pedestrian 60.8 percent of his throws last year, which was ahead of only five other full-time starters, and posted a QB rating of 88.0. That tied him with Indy’s Jacoby Brissett, who lost his job during the off-season to Philip Rivers, whose 88.5 rating in ’19 wasn’t spectacular, either. Brady will turn 43 in August and is clearly not the QB he was even two years ago. Tampa Bay fans should be happy the team has upgraded from Jameis Winsterception, but it would be nice if the media showed a bit of objectivity in assessing Brady’s 2020 prospects. 

                                                                   -EH-

THE OLD COLLEGE TRY

When it comes to the top inventions of all time – beer, rock-n-roll music, yoga pants – there is nothing that beats college football. Okay, so El Hombre understands the world’s greatest sport wasn’t technically invented in some lab and that it evolved over time from a bunch of guys in silly caps turning soccer into something worth watching and eventually into a true phenomenon. But when it comes to the perfect amalgamation of sport, color, pageantry and pure wonder, nothing touches college football. Not even bacon. 

            So, the idea of a fall without a full slate of college games is almost horrifying. As we approach the point in the year when true fans begin counting the days until the season opener and are watching rebroadcasts of games from the previous season – even those involving MAC teams – there is the real possibility that the 2020 campaign will be far different than any in history – if it happens at all.

            As states move to “re-open” during the coronavirus pandemic, some gradually and others less carefully, there is considerable discussion and debate about what will be happening on college campuses beginning in August. The recent evacuation of schools and the ensuing “remote learning” model produced varied results. Many kids spent more time on their phones than actually paying attention to the professor, and some classes were victims of pranks that included the screen sharing of porn. That got extra credit in a course at Arizona State. But the one thing that was universal was the end of most, if not all, non-academic activities, including athletics, and most notably the NCAA Tournament. There was just too much danger to all involved to keep playing basketball – along with spring sports like baseball, lacrosse, softball and tennis. So, the seasons ended. Make no mistake: This was extremely difficult for the athletes, who watched months of preparation evaporate in a COVID-19 cloud. 

            The cancellation of March Madness meant significant financial hardship for a lot of athletic departments and the NC2A, but the elimination of an entire college football season could have a crippling financial impact that leads to program cuts and the elimination of sports at some schools all together. Most schools do not have rainy-day funds for their athletic departments. Instead, they chose to make sure their Xanadu-like football buildings had barbershops and beach volleyball courts. As a result, schools are already chopping programs, blaming the lack of activity for the actions, instead of using the usual excuse that women’s sports precipitated the decision. It’s always amusing to see a school like Central Michigan, which had $25.2 million of its $33.6 million athletic budget provided by the institution – an indication that it was losing big money on just about everything, especially football – axe indoor and outdoor track and field in order to keep alive a football team that attracts paltry crowds, which are aided by huge outlays of free tickets. So, there are some serious things to consider when making the decision to hold a season.

            A series of protocols is already being instituted on some campuses. Locker rooms could be coated in germ-fighting particles from a fogging machine. Players will be required to follow strict behavioral procedures from the moment they enter the football building until the time they leave – and then will be strongly encouraged to engage in exemplary social distancing practices the rest of the day.

            And that doesn’t even begin to cover what needs to happen on the field in order to keep players (and coaches, student managers, trainers and staff) safe while still preparing a team to play games.

            Let’s begin with the most difficult part of all this: getting 18-to-22-year olds to follow the rules all the time. El Hombre may be getting older (shaddup!) but he remembers his days back at Oxford, and he didn’t always do what he was supposed to. And as he spends time educating and advising today’s college students, he is learning that not much has changed. No matter how socially conscious they may be, they aren’t about to become strict adherents to the regulations. If they can get away with something, they will. So, imagining that a group of college kids is going to stay away from weekend ragers at the notorious apartment complex or frat house and not engage in a little up-close, hand-to-gland combat with a fellow student at the end of the night is naïve. 

            Because of that, it is vital that colleges put the health of their students foremost when it comes to athletics, as well as the decision to open campuses in the first place. Students are simply not going to do what they are told all the time when no one is looking. It’s one thing for a young person to contract the coronavirus and another for one to die from it. That would be a tragedy – as well as a liability nightmare. (An aside: University general counsels are already working on complicated waivers to limit their exposure.) Since we know from the medical experts that an infected person can spread the virus to many others, including older, more vulnerable folks who are more susceptible to developing more serious symptoms, there are even greater concerns than the student body. 

            The upshot? No matter how well the plans go – on and off the fields – an outbreak on campus or around it could send the whole thing into the hopper and force the entire community back into their homes and onto the computers again. Perhaps it’s good that pro sports are trying to get rolling again. They can provide the laboratories necessary to find out what works and what doesn’t. It’s not quite as unseemly when someone getting paid millions gets sick, versus a 19-year old backup offensive tackle – although it’s not good in any circumstance.

            Whatever happens, this is a risky experiment. Schools will take precautions. Coaches and medical staff will preach proper behavior. There will be screening and tracking and testing. And Saturday night at the Manor Hall Apartments, a tray full of Jell-O shots could undo it all. 

* * *

            EL HOMBRE SEZ: There has been a decided lack of action at NFL team complexes, thanks to the suspension of OTAs and mini-camps, but plenty is going on off the field, as the recent spate of player arrests proves. First, Chiefs cornerback Bashaud Breeland was arrested in late April for drug possession and other alleged crimes. Then, DeAndre Baker and Quinton Dunbar were nabbed for allegedly robbing fellow partygoers at gunpoint. A couple days later, Cody Latimer was charged with assault and illegal discharge of a firearm. Saturday night Ed Oliver was picked up on suspicion of DUI and unlawfully carrying a weapon. With nothing to do, players are finding new “outlets” for their energies, not the best news for the NFL, which might have to bring everybody back to team facilities, just to make sure it can fill out its rosters this season…Rubenesque pitcher Bartolo Colon has said he wants to spend one more season in the big leagues. If the 47-year old Colon, who last pitched with Texas in 2018, can’t find a spot on an MLB roster, he will return to his current job as a barbecue inspector…There is big news from the world of cutthroat college cheerleading. Powerhouse Kentucky, which has won 24 of the last 35 national titles, has fired its coaching staff and advisors after reports of hazing and drunken parties with public nudity surfaced. In a quickly released statement, new Iona coach and one-time Kentucky boss Rick Pitino denied any responsibility in the matter…Vegas oddsmakers are likely to give the Tampa Bay Rays plenty of love, if baseball returns in early July without fans. The Rays have been playing in that environment at home for several years and should have a huge advantage against teams who play at home in front of more enthusiastic crowds…The left-turn contingent returned to Darlington Sunday and posted some big ratings – a 38 percent increase from NASCAR’s last race, on March 8. The action was scintillating, and Kevin Harvickzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…El Hombre has to admit it was strange watching the golfing matchup Sunday and hearing no one cheering when the players made good shots. It will be even odder if there is no cheering at baseball or basketball games. Some may not like the idea of piped-in crowd noise, but it will definitely add to the experience of watching on TV. And for those of you who blanch at the idea, just watch espn when it shows highlights of a game in which someone on the visiting team does something well, and the crowd “roars.” You’ll find you are quite used to piped-in sound during sporting events…Former Chicago Bulls forward Horace Grant is a little miffed about his portrayal in the Michael Jordan mockumentary “The Last Dance.” How miffed? During a recent radio interview, Grant called Jordan a “snitch.” In a different radio appearance, Grant said he would have “beat [Jordan’s] ass” if he had tried to take food away from Grant on a flight after a game in which Grant hadn’t played particularly well. Looks like MJ is still making pals almost two decades after his retirement from the NBA…A lawsuit filed by an unnamed NFL player accuses United Airlines of not adequately protecting him from unwanted sexual advances and touching by a woman seated in his row during a flight. The player alleges he complained about the woman’s behavior toward him and a friend three times before he was compelled to jump into the aisle and let the entire plane know the woman had grabbed his genitals. The woman was finally moved from his row, and United has already held meetings to determine whether it should change its slogan from “Fly the Friendly Skies” to “You can look, but you better not touch.” 

* * *

            AND ANOTHER THING: Let’s all take a moment to applaud the NFL’s new initiative to spur the hiring of more African-American head coaches and GMs. One of the proposed components of the plan would have rewarded teams that bring aboard black coaches or general managers with a jump of 10 draft spots – in the third round. Wow! Now that’s some serious impetus. Rumor has it the league also considered giving teams one extra timeout – a season – if they diversify. None of that made the final version. The end result of it all was a strengthening of the Rooney Rule, which has been well-intentioned but largely ceremonial since its 2003 creation. Teams that don’t interview two external candidates for the top coaching job and one for the lead personnel position will have the penalty increased from “a stern talking to” to “no dessert for a week.” That will show them. There are some positive initiatives, such as intern programs and training opportunities. But in a league in which 70% of the players are African-American, that isn’t enough, especially when there are only two people of color among the majority owners of NFL teams – one Asian-American, one Pakistani-American – and only three African-American coaches on NFL sidelines. (A fourth minority, Ron Rivera, leads the Washington NFL franchise.) The only way for these numbers to increase is for the league to put into place a concrete rule that has real penalties. For instance, each franchise has 15 years to hire either an African-American head coach or GM. Those who don’t will lose their first-round draft picks for five years. That ought to solve the problem pretty quickly. By hiring more African-American coordinators, assistant GMs and heads of scouting, teams can develop pipelines that produce highly-qualified, experienced candidates who are ready to step in. It will take a real concerted effort and not the lightweight “commitment” the league has shown to this point. Get to work, people. 

* * *

            YOU GOT A PROBLEM WITH THAT? It’s amusing to hear fans and media speculating that the time off due to the coronavirus epidemic will actually help the Sixers, if the NBA begins playing again. Topping the list of hypotheticals is the assumption that center Joel Embiid will be in excellent physical condition once everybody heads back out onto the hardwood. That has been the most elusive part of his game. Expecting Embiid to have worked out diligently on his own during the league shutdown is a bit foolish. And while the time off no doubt helped guard Ben Simmons’ injured back heal, the fact remains that the Sixers are an imperfect squad with a weak bench and an inability to win on the road. A few months off won’t change that. 

-EH-

DON'T TRUST THE BILLIONAIRES

           When Satan slithered into the Garden of Eden and told Eve the edict against eating fruit from the Tree of Knowledge was fake news, he used a satiny sales pitch designed to create mayhem and consign mankind to thousands of years of sin and abominations like the designated hitter. Old Lucifer was pretty smooth, and he closed the deal by promising Eve that she and Adam would be equals of God if they partook of that outlawed item. When Eve arrived back at the cave, she probably said, “What a nice serpent.” 

            Since then, we humans have been particularly susceptible to the slick come-ons of salespeople, whose job it is to make us buy something that we don’t need, don’t want or can’t afford. Even after we have parted with our hard-earned cash, we still don’t recognize that the person pushing the product upon us is not our friend or confidant. And we recognize less that the company providing the unnecessary item has absolutely no interest in anything other than its P&L statement. 

            Hey, this is America. And capitalism reigns. You want something different? Try Portugal, where the Socialist Party has ruled for several years, and which finished 66^th in the 2019 World Happiness Report (really!), behind Kazakhstan and Uzbekistan, among other garden spots. So, don’t misread this as a call for revolution. El Hombre likes money. Likes new things. And he loves college football, which you sure as heck can’t find where the descendants of Karl Marx hang out. 

            But let’s be careful not to fall for the polished public personae of the uber rich, whose fortunes – if they made them on their own – have come from the ability to convince people to fork it over. Again: Yay, capitalism! They are entitled to their billions, but we as consumers, and in the case of Major League Baseball, as fans, should not take up their causes for them. Someone with one dollar wants two. Someone with $1 billion wants another billion. And someone with a baseball team wants to charge you 20 bucks for a domestic beer. 

            All of which brings us to the ongoing negotiations between players and owners regarding the potential re-starting of the MLB season. Public opinion has already started to move against the Union, which has the nerve to call the proposal to split revenues 50-50 unacceptable and to accuse the Rockefellers of trying to back-door a salary cap at a time when revenues are uncertain and it’s unlikely fans will be back in stadiums this year. 

            Let’s not forget that any return to action will require a heretofore unseen level of testing, tracking and proper behavior to make sure everyone involved is safe. Remember that the amount of testing materials needed is well beyond the available quantities. Couple that with a climate throughout the country in which uncertainty is the only certainty, and you have a gigantic problem to solve before even thinking about how to split up whatever money comes out of this.

            Suppose everyone involved is satisfied that a cry of “Play Ball!” will not be accompanied by a rash of positive tests – hardly a guarantee. Then, it’s time to talk about money. And, as usual, the owners are trying to make fans sympathize with them by painting the players as greedy and out to harm the country by depriving it of a much-needed diversion during this difficult time. What really is happening is that by trying to push the 50-50 split in revenues, the owners are hoping to establish a new rubric for future negotiations, which they hope will result in a salary cap. Should the players agree to this, owners will absolutely try to push for something similar next year, when gate receipts will no doubt be down, thanks to fans’ trepidations about returning to ballparks. It’s not like they will return to the days of the Reserve Clause, when teams controlled the players for the durations of their careers, but don’t think for a second that they won’t take any opportunity they can to control labor costs. And, boy, would they love to have that Reserve Clause back again.

            Now, it’s not easy for fans to feel sympathy for big-league players, especially those making gigantic salaries. Trust El Hombre: Bryce Harper isn’t worrying about how he’s going to pay the mortgage. The median 2019 MLB salary (the point where an equal number of players earn above and below it) was $1.4 million, hardly a subsistence wage. But while the players are making a lot, the owners are making more, no matter how skillfully they manipulate their books to make it seem like they are headed for skid row. The hidden money here is in the franchise values, which continue to climb. Only two teams – Pittsburgh and Miami – lost value in 2019, according to Forbes. All 30 teams are worth at least $1 billion, while 10 years ago, only two were. Forbes has been charting the teams’ worth for 22 years, and the average team has seen an 11% increase each year. Come 2022, when the new, $5.1 billion deal with Fox kicks in, that number should swell even more. Still feel bad for the big-wallet group? 

            In these situations, it helps to remember El Hombre’s Law:

            In battles between millionaires and billionaires, always root for the millionaires.

            We all want sports back. We all want to make our lives as normal as possible. How great would it be to care about managers’ decisions – although with the universal DH, there will be far fewer of those, but that’s a topic for another time – playoff races (let everybody in!) and the vagaries of the shift? But there is some work to do for us to reach the point where someone can throw out a first pitch via Zoom. And as that work is completed, please resist the urge to demonize the players and remember that every smiling owner is hoping you’ll buy his smooth pitch – and a seven-dollar hot dog. 

* * *

            EL HOMBRE SEZ: El Hombre is starved for sports, but even he can’t watch NASCAR, Korean professional baseball or UFC bloodlettings. And isn’t it time for networks to stop marketing 2017 games between mediocre opponents as “classics”? Now on NFL Network: Detroit vs. Arizona in a 2018 showdown for the fifth pick in the Draft! Please. Would it be so hard to replay some games from the ‘70s? Now, those are classics. Everything else is just marketing…The Aquavit-and-double-anchovy-pizza-fueled nightmare of the last two years of Monday Night Football is finally over. espn decided to remove Joe Tessitore and Booger McFarland from the booth and release the hostages, er, viewers from captivity. Tessitore specialized in making a two-yard, first-quarter run off left tackle on second-and-eight sound like V-E Day, and McFarland was the master of banal “analysis.” Any replacement team will be an upgrade…If you haven’t been tuning in to “The Last Dance” on espn, you are missing some quality TV. But don’t be fooled into thinking this is a true documentary. It’s a docudrama produced in conjunction with Michael Jordan designed to paint him as the most competitive person in history and burnish his claim to being the Best Ever. (By the way, anybody who uses “G.O.A.T.” or “The GOAT” ought to lose his or her fan or media card. It’s over. Played out. Stop it.) Enjoy the production, the old footage, Jordan’s majesty, the rare glimpses of how a team works and the bold-print quotations, but remember that it’s a carefully-crafted production and not an unvarnished look at Jordan and the Bulls. (By the way, he was the best ever.)…The Rams finally unveiled their new uniforms, and they are not very good. LA will look like some nondescript college team and will play in off-white road unis the color of a college kid’s undershirts after his first semester. They are way worse than those of their future co-tenants, the Chargers, who absolutely killed it with their ginned-up retro designs…If the NBA re-starts, try to imagine the excitement that will come when league bottom-feeders like the Knicks and Cavs square off. In that case, it will be good that no fans have to cough up any ticket money. If the league does come back, its biggest question won’t be what to do about the playoffs but how to make sure fans don’t hear the curses spewed by angry coaches or the trash talk from players in an empty arena. Maybe the league can offer a “premium” package that allows fans full access to the profanity. If that happens, El Hombre is in!

* * *

            AND ANOTHER THING:  Wait. You mean sainted Durham CC head coach Mike Krzyzewski might have fractured a couple rules when he was accumulating class after class of mercenary players over the past several seasons? You mean those five-star recruits weren’t merely attracted to the outstanding educational opportunities and classic Gothic and Georgian architecture on campus? The Dookie apologists have fed us fairy tales that even though just about everybody else in college basketball was offering cash and prizes to get the best of the best, that could never happen in the Blue Devil program, which we have been told is cleaner than a vat of hand sanitizer. But someone might just be tossing some bacteria onto that pristine reputation. Zion Williamson is being sued by his former marketing manager. You remember him, right? He spent about nine months on campus, soaking up all Duke had to offer. And if you believe the former manager, it offered a lot. A bag of cash. A nice house for the parents. The NBA’s New Hope might have to answer some questions – under oath – about whether he was a “professional” when he played for the Blue Devils. Krzyzewski might be deposed, too. Wouldn’t that be wonderful? Of course, it’s most likely just a dream. Someone will broker a settlement before anybody sits in front of an inquisitive lawyer. And then Duke can go back to getting the players nobody else can by not doing what everybody else is. 

* * *

            YOU GOT A PROBLEM WITH THAT? On the surface, the Eagles’ draft made sense. The team needed more speed, so it drafted a bunch of fast guys. Last year’s Super Bowl teams were the two fastest in the NFL, so the philosophy is sound. But there is track fast and football fast. Those are two different things. Bob Hayes had both. So did Willie Gault. But it’s unlikely the 2016 400-meter relay Olympic gold medal team was packed with guys who could get away from press coverage. This year’s draft produced maybe one player – first-round receiver Jalen Reagor – who could end up starting this year, and that’s just because the Birds’ receiving corps is a disaster. Would that make the draft a success? Not quite. As for Jalen Hurts, the question isn’t whether his joining the team will offend oft-injured Carson Wentz. It’s whether Hurts can play quarterback in the NFL. He wasn’t ever considered a first-round talent, so it makes sense that he is best suited as a good backup on a good team. Since GM Howie Roseman was so determined to draft a bunch of developmental players, he probably wouldn’t have chosen a starter in the second round anyway. That makes the Hurts choice relatively reasonable. It’s obvious Roseman thinks the current roster is good enough to contend. That’s extremely questionable and should be the basis for assessing his job performance in 2020.

* * *

            ONE FOR THE ROAD: Rick Pitino has moved into his office in New Rochelle, NY, to take over the program at Iona, which must be run by people who can’t read. Pitino has been twisting NCAA recruiting rules into disfigured heaps since he was helping players get used cars back in ’77 at Hawaii. He left Louisville a couple years back after his “assistants” were staging stripper parties for recruits and shoe company “representatives” were promising six-figure payments to prospects. All without Ricky P’s knowledge. Right. El Hombre sat across from Pitino once and heard him negotiate the price of a used car for a family member. He took 25 minutes. Wanted to make sure every detail was handled. All for a $10,000 automobile. Yet, he didn’t pay enough attention to his program to know about the malfeasance. Please. Iona has sold its institutional virtue in return for some basketball wins. Meanwhile, Louisville is sweating out an NC2A letter of allegations regarding the violations committed while Pitino is in charge. On the surface, it appears unfair that those left behind get hammered for the misdeeds of those already gone, but remember that the Louisville president and board approved Pitino’s hiring. They knew what he was about. And they approved it anyway. (Side note: Pitino should be banned from coaching for two lifetimes, just in case he converts to Hinduism and gets another go-round.) Sure, the school fired Pitino, his assistants, the AD and anybody else it could, in an attempt to ward off any NC2A penalties. But it also hired Pitino in the first place. And that wasn’t too smart. 

                                                                 -EH-