EL HOMBRE KNOWS SPORTS
For a lot of people, the Winter Olympics consist primarily of hundreds of anonymous people with too many consonants in their names hurtling down frozen patches of earth in a collective attempt to avoid serious injury. Maddening cowbells and silly horns provide a cacophonous soundtrack to the outdoor insanity, and when the action moves inside, fans can count on gushing skating commentators and curling analysts talking about a sport that few understand. To many, the saving grace is ice hockey that actually means something, substituting for that mid-season clash between the Predators and Blue Jackets.
Welcome to Vancouver, 2010.
That, of course, is an oversimplified view of the Games, which debut Friday and will for two weeks provide NBC and its sister networks with some programming people will actually want to watch. There will be some compelling theater, as there is whenever elite athletes gather. The problem is that U.S. competitors can be eliminated right now from medal contention in dozens of events, including mostly anything with a sled, ski or gun. Oh, Lindsay Vonn ought to have strong showings in the downhill and something called the super giant slalom, provided the painkillers work, and there’s a chance the two-woman bobsled team of Shauna Rohbock and Michelle Rzepka could find its way onto the medal stand. But if you want to wave the Stars and Stripes proudly and tear up as a countryman (or woman) accepts a medal, better pay attention to the skating and X Games events, which seem to have been added just to pump up the U.S. win total.
With all of that in mind, here are a few storylines to consider before the flame is lit.
White Out: Looks like they should have held the Olympics in Washington D.C., since the nation’s capital has endured something like 300 inches of snow in the last five days, while Vancouver has to truck the stuff in from Saskatoon. They’ll be able to freeze up the downhill with no problems, but the freestyle crowd might have some sloppy conditions. Like, bummer, dude.
Stone Groove: Nobody really understands curling, but after the Turin Games in ’06, everybody was talking about it. Usually, the only time we hear about big stones moving is during an avalanche, so it’s refreshing to see them being controlled, albeit by frenzied sweepers, as thousands of Europeans cheer the come-arounds and double-takeouts and hope the Schnapps doesn’t run out if there are extra ends.
Skeleton Crew: Bobsled is crazy, and luge is nuts. But for true lunacy, check out skeleton, in which adrenalin junkies endure 5Gs of force while careering down an icy tunnel at up to 60 mph on a piece of steel and plastic that has no steering mechanism or brakes. What’s next, being shot out of a cannon down the bobsled run?
National Pride: There is no truth to the rumor that if the Canadian men’s hockey team doesn’t win the gold medal, its members will be summarily executed by a group of deranged Mounties. But should the home team fail, there will no doubt be pitchforks and torches outside the team hotel. And should the Russians apply the final indignity, expect the country to slip into a depression that no amount of Molson and back bacon can cure.
Vonn-derful World: Lindsey Vonn had everything in place for the perfect 21st century Olympic bonanza. She had the suggestive SI cover, the appearance in the same magazine’s swimsuit extravaganza, more endorsements than Air Jordan had in his prime and a strong resume. All she needed were some gold medals around her neck, and she was headed for Phelpstown – without the bong. But along came a minor distract-shin. Vonn’s pre-Olympic shin injury has threatened it all and could send her back to the anonymity of the European ski circuit and its Tyrolean cowbell ringers. Vonn had better find a magical elixir for the injury, before Americans find some cute, young figure skater upon whom they can shower their affection and dollars.
Dopes: The first blade hasn’t even been put to ice in earnest, and already up to 30 athletes have been disqualified from the Games for positive tests for performance-enhancing drugs. Unbelievable. Vancouver tries to stage the Olympics, and a late-‘90s baseball game breaks out. It would be tempting to see whether one of the cheats is Balco Bonds, but he is likely in the clear, since it would impossible to find equipment that would fit him. Imagine how big his bobsled helmet would have to be. And no company makes skis long enough for his unnaturally huge feet. The names of the offenders have not been released, so rumors that every one is a member of a former Eastern Bloc country can’t be substantiated.
Blades of Glory: The featured events of the Olympics, at least for those who pay little attention to sports the other three-
plus years of the Games’ cycle, are the figure skating competitions. While other competitions are sponsored by sports drinks, cars and beer, skating’s commercial roster includes Dove Moisturizing System II, Monistat 21st Century and Massengill Fruit Sensations. There’s nothing better than a bunch of guys in tuxedos gushing over Svetlana’s triple salchow and then waiting anxiously to find out whether the miserable French judge is still furious over having her Olympic hopes dashed back in Innsbruck. Skating is shown in prime time, is treated like a debutante ball and pulls in huge ratings. Expect the Russians and Asians to dominate and pray that this is the year one of the men’s pairs competitors actually launches his partner over the boards during the freestyle competition.
* * *
EL HOMBRE SEZ: St. Louis Cardinals officials announced earlier this week that new hitting coach Muscles McGwire will answer no questions about the PEDs he pumped into his system while shattering records and ruining baseball’s reputation. Fine. Here’s a request for no media member to speak to him, write about him or mention his name on TV or radio. If he’s trying to sanitize his name for future Hall of Fame consideration (Ha!), let him do it by himself…Speaking of atrocities against America’s pastime, the Milwaukee Brewers are going to erect a statue of Bud Sellout outside their stadium, next to sculptures of Hank Aaron and Robin Yount. What’s next, a mural of the Black Sox outside new Comiskey? Or perhaps a monument to the 1962 New York Mets? If the Brewers insist on commemorating Sellout, make sure the statue depicts him doing what he did best: lying about his role in the steroid era…Danica Patrick makes her official NASCAR debut this Sunday in the Daytona 500, which ought to create questions among the Billy Bob set. For instance, do her fans have to get bikini waxes, instead of shaving her car’s number into their back hair? And what happens if she wins a race before Dale, Jr. – like everybody else has? Tough questions, but that’s what makes stock car racing such a great “sport.”…The NBA All-Star Layup Lines take place Sunday, but the real news in the sport is next Thursday’s trade deadline. Deals are already percolating, with the most popular a rumored three-way swap involving Problem Child, Ugly Contract and Unfulfilled Potential.
* * *
YOU GOT A PROBLEM WITH THAT? Phillies pitchers and catchers report to Clearwater next Wednesday, and that’s good news for those who are sick of digging out from under more snow than Tony Montana used to sling back in the day. But the level of excitement that should accompany the start of a season that could feature a third consecutive World Series appearance has been diluted by the fact that the organization refused to make the power move that would have given the Phils the best rotation in baseball. No matter how good Roy Halladay promises to be, the thought of pairing him and Cliff Lee atop the team’s starters is too tough to eliminate from fans’ minds, especially since none of the three minor-leaguers acquired for Lee is considered to be a future star. So what if Lee pitched one year and left in free agency? At least the Phils would have had him and Halladay together for 162 games – with Cole Hamels in the no-pressure number three spot. Instead of giving fans that, the team tried to jam a story down their throats that the farm stocks had to be replenished for future success. Horse manure! It was a money decision, and that’s it. The team didn’t want to pay Lee $9 million this year, didn’t want to lose him for nothing after the season and was afraid of being painted as cheapskates by not making a strong move for him in free agency next winter. There is still a lot to be excited about for the team, but Lee’s absence tempers the enthusiasm, and that’s a damn shame.
* * *
AND ANOTHER THING: The tears of joy were barely dry in New Orleans this week when the NFL’s perpetual news cycle sprang to life with rumors about possible trades, speculation about the free agent pool, worries about a potential work stoppage in 2011 and an avalanche of mock drafts. Behold the magic of the world’s most potent sports juggernaut. Even though March Madness looms, exhibition baseball games begin in fewer than three weeks, and the NBA is working overtime to promote itself, nothing can top the NFL, which has perfected the art of attracting off-season attention. Since fans are forced to wait six-plus long months until the next regular-season concussion, the league needs to prime the pump. And prime it the NFL does. Next up is free agency. Then the Draft. Mini-camps and OTAs are always good for drama. And the one month before training camp that used to be quiet time is now consumed with rumors about Cowboy Quarterback’s angst-filled decision-making process. When labor negotiations commence in earnest, the league will try to chop the players’ share of revenues from 59% to about 41%, crying poor the whole time. Don’t believe a word of it. The NFL is flush with cash, and its bottom line only getting bigger. Over the next few months, you’ll see why.
-EH-
Showing posts with label Cliff Lee. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Cliff Lee. Show all posts
Friday, February 12, 2010
Friday, October 2, 2009
Stop the Madness
EL HOMBRE KNOWS SPORTS
When Edgar Allen Poe wrote the famous short story, “The Imp of the Perverse,” in 1850, there was no football, not even the European version of the animal. The Chinese had been playing a kicking game as early as the second century BC, and there was the Central and South American “Tlatchi” game that was invented hundreds of years before. But, for Poe’s purposes, there was no prolate spheroid, no tailgate parties and not even any old-fashioned European hooliganism.
But Poe might as well have been writing for the modern-day football fan when he described the Imp and its characteristics. For those of you not familiar with the little bastard, understand that it’s the thing inside you that makes you do what you’re not supposed to do. Ever wonder why you’re dying to see just how hot that iron gets? It’s the Imp. When you decide to drive through the giant puddle, even if it means soaking the breaks or bottoming out, blame the Imp. And in those moments of weakness when you actually tune in to a WNBA game, kill the Imp.
The Imp’s role in our football viewing is clearly defined. No matter how wrong we realize it is to see one man being obliterated by another on the field, no matter how much we have heard about the trauma that comes from head-to-hits and no matter how savage the entire process may be, we still love it. God help us, but we love it. The brutality of the game is on display every Sunday in the NFL and on college gridirons, but sometimes it takes big-time, high-profile collisions to make it all resonate a little more.
By now, most of you have seen Taylor Wyndham’s blasting of Tim Tebow last Saturday in Lexington. In fact, you have probably seen it 10 times, thanks to the repeated showings by espn and the magic of YouTube. El Hombre correspondent and fratello-da-un-altro-madre Raging Bill saw it and immediately referenced Chicago linebacker Wilber Marshall’s leveling Joe Ferguson back in ’85, a hit that led former Bears coach Mike Ditka to say, “I thought he killed him.” Wyndham had a clean, high-speed shot on the helpless Tebow, who unlike his “Superman” descriptions, looked quite vulnerable in that moment of isolated violence. He sustained a concussion, remained prone on the field for a long while and vomited while being carted off the field. (No word yet on how Gator fans can buy pieces of the Tebow chum, but you can bet it’s coming.)
Football America, of course, recoiled in horror at the hit. Then, it watched again and again. Turns out the Imp is quite a fan of the game. Florida boosters couldn’t care less about Poe, his theories or much of anything that doesn’t wear orange-and-blue. They want to know whether Tebow will be available next Saturday night in Death Valley against LSU. Despite assurances by UF coach Urban Meyer that Tebow is “terrific,” let’s hope it’s a neurosurgeon (or two) who’s making the ultimate decision on the quarterback’s availability, and not someone charged solely with winning games.
That wish is even more fervent in light of results released Wednesday of a study commissioned by the NFL that looked into the dementia rates of former players, versus those of the general public. The research, which was conducted by the University of Michigan Institute for Social Research, found that 6.1 percent of 1,063 former NFL players aged 50 and older had received a dementia-related diagnosis. That’s five times higher than the national average of 1.2 percent. Players ages 30 through 49 were given those diagnoses at a rate of 1.9 percent, 19 times the national average.
This is pretty compelling stuff, especially since it was the NFL that ordered the study. In the past, the league has scoffed at results like this, so these numbers, from its own request, have to make an impact. Then again, this is the NFL, which is selling the controlled violence in stadiums every Sunday and through ancillary outlets like its propaganda partners and video product line. Instead of using the study as a clarion call for change, the ostriches in New York jammed their heads deeper into the artificial turf. “There are thousands of retired players who do not have memory problems,” NFL spokesman Greg Aiello said.
Yes, and there are thousands of people in American Samoa who didn’t die in the horrible tsunami earlier this week. Does that mean everything is fine for those who did perish and their families? “Memory disorders affect many people who never played football or other sports,” he said. “We are trying to understand it as it relates to our retired players.” Uh, Greg, this study provides a pretty good understanding: Play professional football, have a significantly larger chance of getting brain damage than the average person. That ought to save the league a little dough. Now, Aiello is merely providing the league take on the situation, so bashing him does no good. Going after the NFL, however, is absolutely necessary. Although last March it instituted a rule protecting “defenseless” receivers against shots to the melon, the league has to go further and ban every hit to the head – and by the head. Players who use their head or deliver blows to the head will be penalized and suspended. To some, that is Draconian. To those like Hall of Fame tight end John Mackey, who fights dementia every day, it would make perfect sense. A culture must be changed here, and there are going to be some unhappy people at first.
The NFL must admit that its players are at risk for brain injury and long-term trouble and change the game so that the dementia diagnoses drop in the future. It’s bad enough many of these guys will need new hips and knees. They make those in titanium these days. But there isn’t an artificial brain out there, so protecting the ones inside players’ heads is vital. The recent study can be tossed on the growing pile of evidence that shows the dangers of playing a game where the collisions get more violent each season. It’s up to the league to lessen the risk, rather than playing to the Imp in all of us.
Even Poe would have to admit that the league can’t keep embracing the damaging violence.
After he got done burying one of his victims.
* * *
EL HOMBRE SEZ: The NHL season started last night, and that calls for some fearless predictions: Two franchise folds, one team move and a Stanley Cup Finals with ratings lower than the Greater Greensboro Open. The champ? Spartak…It was a wild week in Majoke League baseball. Twins catcher Joe Mauer was accused of stealing signs. The Cards said Cincinnati pitcher Bronson Arroyo was rubbing pine tar on the ball. And the Nationals were charged with felony identity theft for posing as an MLB ballclub. That was good news for the Orioles, who had been under investigation of the same charge but seem to have dodged an indictment…President Obama has drawn flak for heading to Copenhagen on behalf of Chicago’s bid to host the 2016 Olympics. His biggest problem isn’t the partisan doggerel, though. Rather, it’s that his Chi-town roots and the city’s reputation for shaky politics can’t be put to good use in the bribing of the IOC committee members charged with making the choice. If this were 10-15 years ago, Chicago would be a shoo-in…Cowboy Quarterback takes on former employer Green Bay Monday night and says he has no revenge notions. It’s hard to believe him, since CQ has given up all dairy products for the week…A new book claims that employees at a cryonics facility in Arizona charged with deep-freezing Ted Williams’ head used crude tools to decapitate the (dead) slugger and even engaged in some batting practice with the body part. Doesn’t look good for Williams’ ability to be on a roster for the start of the 2054 season.
* * *
YOU GOT A PROBLEM WITH THAT? Now that the Phillies have clinched the NL East title, fans can relax a little and dispense with the 1964 redux nightmares. But a good night’s sleep shouldn’t come so easily, since the very real possibility of a 2007 encore still looms. The smoking hot Rockies are 73-40 under Jim Tracy, who took over after a dreadful, 18-28 break from the gate. Barring a weekend collapse, the Phils will likely meet Colorado in the dangerous best-of-five NLDS and would enter with some serious problems. Take starting pitching. To some, it’s a no-brainer to start Cole Hamels and Cliff Lee in the first two games, especially since the Rockies hit just .254 against lefties. But neither hurler has looked all that good of late, and the Phils might be better served going with Joe Blanton and J.A. Happ. Think that will happen? No way. The bullpen continues to be a mess, with J.C. Romero’s arm hurting, Brett Myers not back to full strength and major closer issues remaining. The bats have come alive of late, but the same old problems of getting runners in from third base and manufacturing scores remain. The Phils are experienced and talented, but they are also highly flawed and can hardly give fans peace of mind heading into the post-season.
* * *
AND ANOTHER THING: When El Hombre read the item about Cleveland Cavaliers’ guard Delonte West’s arrest on gun charges a couple weeks ago, he almost couldn’t contain himself. Talk about some fertile ground. West was stopped on his three-wheel motorcycle in Maryland and was found to have two loaded pistols and a loaded shotgun on his person. And get this: the shotgun was in a guitar case strapped to his back. Great Caesar’s Ghost! This was the mother lode. Fortunately, time provides perspective, and the reality of the situation is that West is a very troubled young man who can find some sanctuary on the basketball court, but for whom everyday life is a staggering challenge. He has battled emotional issues from the time he was a teenager, and this latest episode shows he has plenty of ground still to cover. So, while it’s tempting (really tempting) to take this latest incident and dash, let’s show some compassion and hope West gets it together and moves forward in a stable condition.
-EH-
When Edgar Allen Poe wrote the famous short story, “The Imp of the Perverse,” in 1850, there was no football, not even the European version of the animal. The Chinese had been playing a kicking game as early as the second century BC, and there was the Central and South American “Tlatchi” game that was invented hundreds of years before. But, for Poe’s purposes, there was no prolate spheroid, no tailgate parties and not even any old-fashioned European hooliganism.
But Poe might as well have been writing for the modern-day football fan when he described the Imp and its characteristics. For those of you not familiar with the little bastard, understand that it’s the thing inside you that makes you do what you’re not supposed to do. Ever wonder why you’re dying to see just how hot that iron gets? It’s the Imp. When you decide to drive through the giant puddle, even if it means soaking the breaks or bottoming out, blame the Imp. And in those moments of weakness when you actually tune in to a WNBA game, kill the Imp.
The Imp’s role in our football viewing is clearly defined. No matter how wrong we realize it is to see one man being obliterated by another on the field, no matter how much we have heard about the trauma that comes from head-to-hits and no matter how savage the entire process may be, we still love it. God help us, but we love it. The brutality of the game is on display every Sunday in the NFL and on college gridirons, but sometimes it takes big-time, high-profile collisions to make it all resonate a little more.
By now, most of you have seen Taylor Wyndham’s blasting of Tim Tebow last Saturday in Lexington. In fact, you have probably seen it 10 times, thanks to the repeated showings by espn and the magic of YouTube. El Hombre correspondent and fratello-da-un-altro-madre Raging Bill saw it and immediately referenced Chicago linebacker Wilber Marshall’s leveling Joe Ferguson back in ’85, a hit that led former Bears coach Mike Ditka to say, “I thought he killed him.” Wyndham had a clean, high-speed shot on the helpless Tebow, who unlike his “Superman” descriptions, looked quite vulnerable in that moment of isolated violence. He sustained a concussion, remained prone on the field for a long while and vomited while being carted off the field. (No word yet on how Gator fans can buy pieces of the Tebow chum, but you can bet it’s coming.)
Football America, of course, recoiled in horror at the hit. Then, it watched again and again. Turns out the Imp is quite a fan of the game. Florida boosters couldn’t care less about Poe, his theories or much of anything that doesn’t wear orange-and-blue. They want to know whether Tebow will be available next Saturday night in Death Valley against LSU. Despite assurances by UF coach Urban Meyer that Tebow is “terrific,” let’s hope it’s a neurosurgeon (or two) who’s making the ultimate decision on the quarterback’s availability, and not someone charged solely with winning games.
That wish is even more fervent in light of results released Wednesday of a study commissioned by the NFL that looked into the dementia rates of former players, versus those of the general public. The research, which was conducted by the University of Michigan Institute for Social Research, found that 6.1 percent of 1,063 former NFL players aged 50 and older had received a dementia-related diagnosis. That’s five times higher than the national average of 1.2 percent. Players ages 30 through 49 were given those diagnoses at a rate of 1.9 percent, 19 times the national average.
This is pretty compelling stuff, especially since it was the NFL that ordered the study. In the past, the league has scoffed at results like this, so these numbers, from its own request, have to make an impact. Then again, this is the NFL, which is selling the controlled violence in stadiums every Sunday and through ancillary outlets like its propaganda partners and video product line. Instead of using the study as a clarion call for change, the ostriches in New York jammed their heads deeper into the artificial turf. “There are thousands of retired players who do not have memory problems,” NFL spokesman Greg Aiello said.
Yes, and there are thousands of people in American Samoa who didn’t die in the horrible tsunami earlier this week. Does that mean everything is fine for those who did perish and their families? “Memory disorders affect many people who never played football or other sports,” he said. “We are trying to understand it as it relates to our retired players.” Uh, Greg, this study provides a pretty good understanding: Play professional football, have a significantly larger chance of getting brain damage than the average person. That ought to save the league a little dough. Now, Aiello is merely providing the league take on the situation, so bashing him does no good. Going after the NFL, however, is absolutely necessary. Although last March it instituted a rule protecting “defenseless” receivers against shots to the melon, the league has to go further and ban every hit to the head – and by the head. Players who use their head or deliver blows to the head will be penalized and suspended. To some, that is Draconian. To those like Hall of Fame tight end John Mackey, who fights dementia every day, it would make perfect sense. A culture must be changed here, and there are going to be some unhappy people at first.
The NFL must admit that its players are at risk for brain injury and long-term trouble and change the game so that the dementia diagnoses drop in the future. It’s bad enough many of these guys will need new hips and knees. They make those in titanium these days. But there isn’t an artificial brain out there, so protecting the ones inside players’ heads is vital. The recent study can be tossed on the growing pile of evidence that shows the dangers of playing a game where the collisions get more violent each season. It’s up to the league to lessen the risk, rather than playing to the Imp in all of us.
Even Poe would have to admit that the league can’t keep embracing the damaging violence.
After he got done burying one of his victims.
* * *
EL HOMBRE SEZ: The NHL season started last night, and that calls for some fearless predictions: Two franchise folds, one team move and a Stanley Cup Finals with ratings lower than the Greater Greensboro Open. The champ? Spartak…It was a wild week in Majoke League baseball. Twins catcher Joe Mauer was accused of stealing signs. The Cards said Cincinnati pitcher Bronson Arroyo was rubbing pine tar on the ball. And the Nationals were charged with felony identity theft for posing as an MLB ballclub. That was good news for the Orioles, who had been under investigation of the same charge but seem to have dodged an indictment…President Obama has drawn flak for heading to Copenhagen on behalf of Chicago’s bid to host the 2016 Olympics. His biggest problem isn’t the partisan doggerel, though. Rather, it’s that his Chi-town roots and the city’s reputation for shaky politics can’t be put to good use in the bribing of the IOC committee members charged with making the choice. If this were 10-15 years ago, Chicago would be a shoo-in…Cowboy Quarterback takes on former employer Green Bay Monday night and says he has no revenge notions. It’s hard to believe him, since CQ has given up all dairy products for the week…A new book claims that employees at a cryonics facility in Arizona charged with deep-freezing Ted Williams’ head used crude tools to decapitate the (dead) slugger and even engaged in some batting practice with the body part. Doesn’t look good for Williams’ ability to be on a roster for the start of the 2054 season.
* * *
YOU GOT A PROBLEM WITH THAT? Now that the Phillies have clinched the NL East title, fans can relax a little and dispense with the 1964 redux nightmares. But a good night’s sleep shouldn’t come so easily, since the very real possibility of a 2007 encore still looms. The smoking hot Rockies are 73-40 under Jim Tracy, who took over after a dreadful, 18-28 break from the gate. Barring a weekend collapse, the Phils will likely meet Colorado in the dangerous best-of-five NLDS and would enter with some serious problems. Take starting pitching. To some, it’s a no-brainer to start Cole Hamels and Cliff Lee in the first two games, especially since the Rockies hit just .254 against lefties. But neither hurler has looked all that good of late, and the Phils might be better served going with Joe Blanton and J.A. Happ. Think that will happen? No way. The bullpen continues to be a mess, with J.C. Romero’s arm hurting, Brett Myers not back to full strength and major closer issues remaining. The bats have come alive of late, but the same old problems of getting runners in from third base and manufacturing scores remain. The Phils are experienced and talented, but they are also highly flawed and can hardly give fans peace of mind heading into the post-season.
* * *
AND ANOTHER THING: When El Hombre read the item about Cleveland Cavaliers’ guard Delonte West’s arrest on gun charges a couple weeks ago, he almost couldn’t contain himself. Talk about some fertile ground. West was stopped on his three-wheel motorcycle in Maryland and was found to have two loaded pistols and a loaded shotgun on his person. And get this: the shotgun was in a guitar case strapped to his back. Great Caesar’s Ghost! This was the mother lode. Fortunately, time provides perspective, and the reality of the situation is that West is a very troubled young man who can find some sanctuary on the basketball court, but for whom everyday life is a staggering challenge. He has battled emotional issues from the time he was a teenager, and this latest episode shows he has plenty of ground still to cover. So, while it’s tempting (really tempting) to take this latest incident and dash, let’s show some compassion and hope West gets it together and moves forward in a stable condition.
-EH-
Thursday, July 30, 2009
Hooray! Training Camp Has Begun
EL HOMBRE KNOWS SPORTS
One of the reasons people remain so devoted to soap operas is that there are never reruns. Viewers don’t have to suffer through an encore of this affair or that miraculous recovery from a rogue strain of beriberi. The story moves inexorably forward, as if a day without some new drama from Erica Kane would cause a national emergency. And just try to interrupt the cycle with something as mundane as a ballgame or coverage of a papal assassination threat, and you would find out just how devoted Erica’s fans could be.
The soaps move inexorably forward, as expected. Professional sports, however, are supposed to have quiet times. Or at least that’s the way it used to be. These days, about the only major league that adheres to the old model of off-season hibernation is hockey, and given its television ratings, one can’t decide whether to consider the icy pursuit “major” anymore. Even it tries to stay relevant during the warm-weather months with its own free agency and mildly amusing story lines like the league’s death struggle to keep a franchise in Phoenix, which loves hockey as much as TV networks love quality programming.
The NFL is another story. By treating its free agency period like a Sweeps Week version of “Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?” (back when it was good), the league keeps fans enticed through February. March and April are consumed by the Draft. May is all about the mini-camps and OTAs. But the real genius comes in June and July, when without fail, storylines emerge that keep the NFL news cycle churning, even if the items in question are suited for “All My Children” than the sports page. During the past six weeks, fans have been bombarded by stories about Britney Favre’s waffling, Michael Vick’s freedom and Plaxico Burress’ apparently futile attempts to stay out of the joint. So, during the long stretch of summer heat, when players and coaches hit vacation spots, “spend time with their families” and prepare for the hell of training camp, fans aren’t allowed to forget about football. For some, the daily stories of Favre’s will-he/won’t-he nonsense and the national debate over when Vick should play again were worse than a WNBA doubleheader. Others delighted in the coverage, if only because it kept them close to the game they love.
The good news is that training camps are finally open, and we can now concentrate on the battle for Jacksonville’s backup linebacker spot and the inevitable pre-season body count. The Hall of Fame Game (in retro AFL unis, no less) is a mere 10 days away, and that means it’s appropriate to consider some of the buzz throughout the league.
Enough, Already: In order: 1. Favre is a selfish diva who benefitted from Minnesota coach Brad Childress’ unwillingness to set a deadline that would have preserved some dignity for his franchise. If Favre decides to play in two, four or nine weeks, his offensive line should give him the same treatment the cons gave Paul “Wrecking” Crewe when he returned to action after deliberately throwing those interceptions. 2. Kudos to Roger Goodell for his treatment of Vick. His “conditional reinstatement” puts the onus on Vick to behave. Now, the question is whether a team wants to disrupt its offense by signing a QB who can’t work in the pocket. 3. Burress is going to jail and should have copped a plea. New York mayor Michael Bloomberg wants to make an example of him, and every Burress protestation will add time to his sentence.
QB Shuffle: The Favre Debacle notwithstanding, there are some interesting quarterbacking plot lines to be developed the next couple months. It looks like the Jets have already committed to Mark Sanchez, who should ask his coach to stop taunting linebackers in the AFC East so that Sanchez isn’t torn apart as revenge. The Lions are trying to decide whether it makes sense to let Matthew Stafford take over a circus that will consider three wins reason for a parade. Hey, if he’s the top overall pick, he should be mentally tough enough to handle that. Peyton Manning did. In San Francisco, it’s either Shaun Hill or Alex Smith. Ugh. Maybe John Brodie will come out of retirement. The Raiders have 61 million reasons why charismatic Jeff Garcia won’t take the starting job from JaMarcus Russell, even if Russell looks like a colossal mistake. Tom Brady is back in New England. Tony Romo is looking for love in Dallas. Ben Roethlisberger is trying to clear his name in Pittsburgh. And Jay Cutler wants to win something – anything – of consequence in Chicago.
Rising Stars: Last year, the Cardinals astonished everyone by shuffling off decades of futility and mismanagement by reaching the Super Bowl and actually giving the Steelers a scare. El Hombre will give a better idea of this season’s surprises in his gala 2009 NFL Preview, but it would be instructive to pay close attention to some teams during the exhibition games. For the past couple years, Houston has been a trendy pick for the playoffs, but this year, it might really happen. The Texans have slowly accumulated weapons on both sides of the ball and could be ready for 10 wins. With the Vikings’ relying on the Tavaris Jackson/Sage Rosenfels QB nightmare, the NFC North door could be wide open for the Packers, who may just have the division’s most stable situation under center. And it may just happen that the Saints take a step forward, although it’s going to take an examination of their shaky defense during the pre-season to see whether that’s possible.
New Faces, New Places: Matt Cassel is in Kansas City. Cutler is in Chi-town. The Jets have Bart Scott, and the Seahawks have T.J. Houshmandzadeh. But let’s face it; the only newcomer anybody cares about is up in northwest New York helping popcorn sales. The T.O. Celebrity Nuthouse has checked into Buffalo for what it hopes is an extended run, but what will most likely end in early departure, just as T.O.’s last two residencies have. Say a novena for Trent Edwards, the Bills’ quarterback, and get ready for the craziness.
Games to Watch: Ha! Fooled you. There isn’t a single exhibition matchup worth watching, except for the fact that it has been six months since football has been on and that at this point a Lions intra-squad scrimmage would be appealing. Watch the first half of every game you can and hope for a quick August.
* * *
EL HOMBRE SEZ: It’s a good thing FINA, the world’s swimming governing body, has decided to ban the full-body swimming suits that are allowing journeymen to set world records. If this continues, it won’t be long until a swimmer crams himself into a dolphin’s mouth and does the 200 freestyle in 15 seconds…Since the Pirates have traded away just about every real ballplayer they have, fans should punish them by staying away completely. Why pay big-time prices for AAA (or worse) baseball? The Steelers have been successful in the market. So have the Penguins. But the Pirates are a joke. This franchise should either be disbanded or forced to find ownership that cares. Until then, any fan who goes to a Pirates game is a sap…The non-stop Tweeting. The unannounced trip to the White House. The reality show. The WWE appearance. One of three things is happening with Shaq: A) He needs money because of his ugly divorce B) He is masking a drop in skills and trying to use style over substance for his pending trip to Cleveland C) He’s just a big knucklehead who should be enjoyed. El Hombre will go with C for now, but don’t be surprised if the others turn out to be correct, too…The X Games start soon (who really cares when?) and that means espn will jam even more faux-hip people down our gullets in its ever-growing attempt to cultivate young viewers and bother the rest of us…Go away, David Beckham. Go away.
* * *
YOU GOT A PROBLEM WITH THAT? The Phillies’ decision to go for a discounted Cliff Lee over Roy Halladay might seem to make sense in these recessionary times, but it has put GM Ruben Tomorrow and ace pitching prospect Kyle Drabek in tough positions. If the Phillies don’t win the World Series this year, and Lee doesn’t have a dynamite post-season, fans will scream that the team should have traded for Halladay, whom they have been told – right or wrong – would almost guarantee them a championship. Worse, if the Phils don’t win it all, and Drabek isn’t the next Grover Cleveland Alexander, fans will howl since the young hurler was seen as the impediment to acquiring Halladay. By conducting such a public courtship of the Blue Jays hurler and even going so far as to have headlines like “Phils still front-runners for Halladay” on the team’s web site, the Phillies led fans to believe that Halladay was the prime target, and Lee was a backup plan, even if he is the 2008 AL Cy Young Award winner. And just imagine what would happen if the Phillies meet the Red Sox in the World Series, and Boston just happened to trade for Halladay. Should Halladay dominate, Tomorrow will be an even bigger pariah, and even more pressure will land on Drabek. There is no shame in getting Lee, but the yearning for Halladay has created something of a public relations problem for the Phillies.
* * *
AND ANOTHER THING: It shouldn’t matter whether Hank Aaron, Reggie Jackson and the ghost of Cy Young believe that Pete Rose belongs in the Hall of Fame, he shouldn’t get in. So far, MLB commissioner Bud Sellout has remained firm on the issue, but with that jellyfish, it’s hard to be sure he’ll stand strong for the duration. Rose bet on baseball, and that’s not allowed. Every clubhouse door has a huge sign on it warning about the lifetime ban those who violate the edict will receive. Rose violated it. Then he lied about it. Lied about it some more. Only when he stood to profit from his admission, did he come clean. There is no question he had the on-field resume for induction, but if the steroid cheats and Joe Jackson belong on the outside (and there is no certainty Jackson should be there), then Rose absolutely must remain out. If Sellout – or any future commissioner – relents, then that sign must come down and MLB’s efforts to stop gambling in places like Delaware must cease. There can be no middle ground on this.
-EH-
One of the reasons people remain so devoted to soap operas is that there are never reruns. Viewers don’t have to suffer through an encore of this affair or that miraculous recovery from a rogue strain of beriberi. The story moves inexorably forward, as if a day without some new drama from Erica Kane would cause a national emergency. And just try to interrupt the cycle with something as mundane as a ballgame or coverage of a papal assassination threat, and you would find out just how devoted Erica’s fans could be.
The soaps move inexorably forward, as expected. Professional sports, however, are supposed to have quiet times. Or at least that’s the way it used to be. These days, about the only major league that adheres to the old model of off-season hibernation is hockey, and given its television ratings, one can’t decide whether to consider the icy pursuit “major” anymore. Even it tries to stay relevant during the warm-weather months with its own free agency and mildly amusing story lines like the league’s death struggle to keep a franchise in Phoenix, which loves hockey as much as TV networks love quality programming.
The NFL is another story. By treating its free agency period like a Sweeps Week version of “Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?” (back when it was good), the league keeps fans enticed through February. March and April are consumed by the Draft. May is all about the mini-camps and OTAs. But the real genius comes in June and July, when without fail, storylines emerge that keep the NFL news cycle churning, even if the items in question are suited for “All My Children” than the sports page. During the past six weeks, fans have been bombarded by stories about Britney Favre’s waffling, Michael Vick’s freedom and Plaxico Burress’ apparently futile attempts to stay out of the joint. So, during the long stretch of summer heat, when players and coaches hit vacation spots, “spend time with their families” and prepare for the hell of training camp, fans aren’t allowed to forget about football. For some, the daily stories of Favre’s will-he/won’t-he nonsense and the national debate over when Vick should play again were worse than a WNBA doubleheader. Others delighted in the coverage, if only because it kept them close to the game they love.
The good news is that training camps are finally open, and we can now concentrate on the battle for Jacksonville’s backup linebacker spot and the inevitable pre-season body count. The Hall of Fame Game (in retro AFL unis, no less) is a mere 10 days away, and that means it’s appropriate to consider some of the buzz throughout the league.
Enough, Already: In order: 1. Favre is a selfish diva who benefitted from Minnesota coach Brad Childress’ unwillingness to set a deadline that would have preserved some dignity for his franchise. If Favre decides to play in two, four or nine weeks, his offensive line should give him the same treatment the cons gave Paul “Wrecking” Crewe when he returned to action after deliberately throwing those interceptions. 2. Kudos to Roger Goodell for his treatment of Vick. His “conditional reinstatement” puts the onus on Vick to behave. Now, the question is whether a team wants to disrupt its offense by signing a QB who can’t work in the pocket. 3. Burress is going to jail and should have copped a plea. New York mayor Michael Bloomberg wants to make an example of him, and every Burress protestation will add time to his sentence.
QB Shuffle: The Favre Debacle notwithstanding, there are some interesting quarterbacking plot lines to be developed the next couple months. It looks like the Jets have already committed to Mark Sanchez, who should ask his coach to stop taunting linebackers in the AFC East so that Sanchez isn’t torn apart as revenge. The Lions are trying to decide whether it makes sense to let Matthew Stafford take over a circus that will consider three wins reason for a parade. Hey, if he’s the top overall pick, he should be mentally tough enough to handle that. Peyton Manning did. In San Francisco, it’s either Shaun Hill or Alex Smith. Ugh. Maybe John Brodie will come out of retirement. The Raiders have 61 million reasons why charismatic Jeff Garcia won’t take the starting job from JaMarcus Russell, even if Russell looks like a colossal mistake. Tom Brady is back in New England. Tony Romo is looking for love in Dallas. Ben Roethlisberger is trying to clear his name in Pittsburgh. And Jay Cutler wants to win something – anything – of consequence in Chicago.
Rising Stars: Last year, the Cardinals astonished everyone by shuffling off decades of futility and mismanagement by reaching the Super Bowl and actually giving the Steelers a scare. El Hombre will give a better idea of this season’s surprises in his gala 2009 NFL Preview, but it would be instructive to pay close attention to some teams during the exhibition games. For the past couple years, Houston has been a trendy pick for the playoffs, but this year, it might really happen. The Texans have slowly accumulated weapons on both sides of the ball and could be ready for 10 wins. With the Vikings’ relying on the Tavaris Jackson/Sage Rosenfels QB nightmare, the NFC North door could be wide open for the Packers, who may just have the division’s most stable situation under center. And it may just happen that the Saints take a step forward, although it’s going to take an examination of their shaky defense during the pre-season to see whether that’s possible.
New Faces, New Places: Matt Cassel is in Kansas City. Cutler is in Chi-town. The Jets have Bart Scott, and the Seahawks have T.J. Houshmandzadeh. But let’s face it; the only newcomer anybody cares about is up in northwest New York helping popcorn sales. The T.O. Celebrity Nuthouse has checked into Buffalo for what it hopes is an extended run, but what will most likely end in early departure, just as T.O.’s last two residencies have. Say a novena for Trent Edwards, the Bills’ quarterback, and get ready for the craziness.
Games to Watch: Ha! Fooled you. There isn’t a single exhibition matchup worth watching, except for the fact that it has been six months since football has been on and that at this point a Lions intra-squad scrimmage would be appealing. Watch the first half of every game you can and hope for a quick August.
* * *
EL HOMBRE SEZ: It’s a good thing FINA, the world’s swimming governing body, has decided to ban the full-body swimming suits that are allowing journeymen to set world records. If this continues, it won’t be long until a swimmer crams himself into a dolphin’s mouth and does the 200 freestyle in 15 seconds…Since the Pirates have traded away just about every real ballplayer they have, fans should punish them by staying away completely. Why pay big-time prices for AAA (or worse) baseball? The Steelers have been successful in the market. So have the Penguins. But the Pirates are a joke. This franchise should either be disbanded or forced to find ownership that cares. Until then, any fan who goes to a Pirates game is a sap…The non-stop Tweeting. The unannounced trip to the White House. The reality show. The WWE appearance. One of three things is happening with Shaq: A) He needs money because of his ugly divorce B) He is masking a drop in skills and trying to use style over substance for his pending trip to Cleveland C) He’s just a big knucklehead who should be enjoyed. El Hombre will go with C for now, but don’t be surprised if the others turn out to be correct, too…The X Games start soon (who really cares when?) and that means espn will jam even more faux-hip people down our gullets in its ever-growing attempt to cultivate young viewers and bother the rest of us…Go away, David Beckham. Go away.
* * *
YOU GOT A PROBLEM WITH THAT? The Phillies’ decision to go for a discounted Cliff Lee over Roy Halladay might seem to make sense in these recessionary times, but it has put GM Ruben Tomorrow and ace pitching prospect Kyle Drabek in tough positions. If the Phillies don’t win the World Series this year, and Lee doesn’t have a dynamite post-season, fans will scream that the team should have traded for Halladay, whom they have been told – right or wrong – would almost guarantee them a championship. Worse, if the Phils don’t win it all, and Drabek isn’t the next Grover Cleveland Alexander, fans will howl since the young hurler was seen as the impediment to acquiring Halladay. By conducting such a public courtship of the Blue Jays hurler and even going so far as to have headlines like “Phils still front-runners for Halladay” on the team’s web site, the Phillies led fans to believe that Halladay was the prime target, and Lee was a backup plan, even if he is the 2008 AL Cy Young Award winner. And just imagine what would happen if the Phillies meet the Red Sox in the World Series, and Boston just happened to trade for Halladay. Should Halladay dominate, Tomorrow will be an even bigger pariah, and even more pressure will land on Drabek. There is no shame in getting Lee, but the yearning for Halladay has created something of a public relations problem for the Phillies.
* * *
AND ANOTHER THING: It shouldn’t matter whether Hank Aaron, Reggie Jackson and the ghost of Cy Young believe that Pete Rose belongs in the Hall of Fame, he shouldn’t get in. So far, MLB commissioner Bud Sellout has remained firm on the issue, but with that jellyfish, it’s hard to be sure he’ll stand strong for the duration. Rose bet on baseball, and that’s not allowed. Every clubhouse door has a huge sign on it warning about the lifetime ban those who violate the edict will receive. Rose violated it. Then he lied about it. Lied about it some more. Only when he stood to profit from his admission, did he come clean. There is no question he had the on-field resume for induction, but if the steroid cheats and Joe Jackson belong on the outside (and there is no certainty Jackson should be there), then Rose absolutely must remain out. If Sellout – or any future commissioner – relents, then that sign must come down and MLB’s efforts to stop gambling in places like Delaware must cease. There can be no middle ground on this.
-EH-
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