EL HOMBRE KNOWS SPORTS
After an off-season characterized by conference realignment shenanigans and agents’ being described as “pimps” by an on-again, off-again coach, it is great to have some football to watch for a change. There will be plenty of drama, especially once ADs try to search for new coaches before firing their old ones, but at least we can look forward to weekends filled with footballs flying – and perhaps a fully-developed power running attack or two.
The spread offense isn’t exactly in the ICU, but teams are figuring out how to defend it more effectively, meaning we might actually see some offensive linemen who can move forward and – holy smokes! – real, live fullbacks on the field. Let’s not get carried away and expect a return to real football throughout the nation, but the basketball-on-grass crowd has been served notice: The tough guys are coming back.
Here are some of the other storylines worth following throughout the season.
Cheat On: Back in the ‘70s and early ‘80s, USC’s schedule cards used to include the Rose Bowl as the team’s 12th game, and according to most Trojans, their birthright. If ‘SC was paying by the line for this year’s cards, it was able to save some money, because the Men of Troy aren’t going anywhere after their season finale against UCLA. A nasty probationary sentence in the wake of Reggie Bush’s ill-gotten cash and prizes has rocked Southern California, keeping it from a bowl game this year, taking away some scholarships and costing the Trojans star offensive tackle recruit Seantrel Henderson, who left the program after learning of the probation. Making matters worse is the hiring of carpetbagging coach Lane Kiffin, who made zero friends at Tennessee and now has to satisfy a new AD, Pat Haden, who appears to have zero tolerance for tomfoolery, or fools for that matter. All dynasties end eventually, and the USC’s recent era of dominance may be over.
CSI: Ann Arbor: And Chapel Hill. And Columbia. And…well, you get the picture. If the NC2A can rain down serious hellfire down on USC, it means business. So, look out Michigan and North Carolina. Beware half the SEC and South Carolina. Perhaps this is the new age of justice in college athletics. No longer with the folks in Indianapolis just pick on the little guys and let the big-timers get away with more violations than Lindsay Lohan commits. The most disturbing of the latest problems comes from UNC, where it is alleged that several Tar Heel players had papers written for them by a tutor who used to be coach Butch Davis’ nanny. Holy academic fraud, Batman! If this is verified, the alleged culprits might be tossed from school, instead of just banned from their spots on the team. Keep an eye on this one, and pay attention to the NC2A. It might just be coming to a powerhouse near you.
Try, Try Again: Bob Davie couldn’t do it. Ty Willingham couldn’t do it. Heavy C couldn’t do it. But Brian Kelly can, and if you believe the propaganda, he will lift Notre Dame back to a level of prominence enjoyed by Rockne, Leahy and Parseghian. That’s going to be hard without the level of athletic talent found at SEC schools, Texas, Ohio State and other places that have a more cavalier approach to academic portion of the student-athlete concept. Every time ND gets a new coach, we are bombarded with reasons why the Fighting Irish are ready for a return to the national picture. The fact is, the program hasn’t had the players, so they haven’t won the games. Kelly is perfect for South Bend. He’s Irish. He’s arrogant. He’s been successful before. What he isn’t is blessed with a loosening of the admissions requirements. Had that been the case, Pope Urban VI would have taken the gig five years ago. Expect eight wins for the Irish this year. Some creative scheduling down the line could result in a BCS berth. But it will take a serious aligning of the stars for ND to win it all.
Partial Idiocy: The Big Ten’s announcement that it was expanding triggered hysteria that rivaled the runs on banks in 1929. The Big 12 was almost blown apart. The WAC was. Big East administrators started Prozac drips to keep calm amidst reports they would be left with C-USA leftovers and any old Yankee Conference castoffs they could convince to elevate their programs. And the Pac-10 finally realized that the rest of the country doesn’t care about it. There was plenty of craziness to go around, but the worst of it may come later this year, when short-sighted Big Ten money-grubbers decide the best way to align the new, 12-team version of the Western Conference includes splitting Michigan and Ohio State into different divisions. Although they didn’t move their annual game – played on the final Saturday of the regular season for all but one of the last 75 seasons – to October, the division split is an abomination, because it takes the schools out of daily, head-to-head competition against each other. All of this comes because of the possibility that splitting the schools could result in a title game matchup between them that produces an avalanche of cash. First off, there’s no guarantee it will happen regularly. Secondly, it’s an obscene move by greedmongers who have clearly lost sight of college football’s tradition and meaning. Worse, the people in charge at Michigan and Ohio State pushed for it. That’s disgraceful. Splitting Michigan and Ohio State takes away a big part of what made the schools’ rivalry so great, all because there could be a big payoff once in a while in early December. Shame on you.
Be Careful What You Wish For: At this point, it would appear that people who like and approve of the BCS fall into two categories. The first is the “it’s better than what we had” cadre, which employs the same logic as Soviet citizens who felt Brezhnev was “better than” Stalin. The second is filled with blind sycophants, paid mouthpieces (see Hancock, Bill) and the lazy-brained, who blindly support the contrived system. But enough about that. The real story this season has to do with Boise State, which by the virtue of its good fortune from the college football sorting hat, has a chance to play in the BCS championship game next January. If the third-ranked Broncos get past non-conference tests against Virginia Tech and Oregon State, they could well get a shot at the title and strike a blow for the great unwashed in the college football world. Huge responsibility would accompany such an opportunity, since if BSU were to flop, the entire mid-major world would be marginalized and removed from serious BCS consideration. No pressure, fellas.
The Interloper: Okay, so we all knew Jimbo Fisher would eventually replace Bobby Bowden at the helm of the Florida State Bowden built into a national power. But many – Bowden included – thought the takeover wouldn’t happen until 2011. If you believe the latest news, Bowden was offered the opportunity to be a wax replica of his former self for a season while Fisher did all the heavy lifting. The August drama has obscured the fact that Fisher must now revive a program that has teetered over the past decade and craft a new identity that doesn’t include its iconic symbol. The return of QB Christian Ponder should make that job easier, and the Seminoles have already returned to the recruiting trail with a vengeance. But after pledging to stay away from the program and let Fisher work, Bowden has returned. He poses no threat to Fisher, but his willingness to throw bombs at administrators, including school president and former Bowden player T.K. Wetherill, shows that he still wants some influence. Fisher should hope that doesn’t mean questioning a fourth-and-one call against Miami.
The Envelope, Please: One of El Hombre’s favorite memories of his storybook childhood came when Oklahoma kicker Uwe von Schamann nailed a 41-yard field goal in 1977 to give the visiting Sooners a 29-28 win over Ohio State and send Buckeye coach Woody Hayes into a full, abusive froth. Von Schamann and Hayes are long gone from the college football landscape, but expect to see their descendents squaring off for all those BCS marbles (don’t get EH started) next January. Buckeye QB Terrell Pryor showed in last year’s Rose Bowl romp against Oregon’s flag-football defense that he can be extremely dangerous, while the Sooners are ready to roll back with a vengeance after last year’s misery created by Sam Bradford’s injury. When the pads stop popping in Glendale, the Buckeyes will have some overdue revenge, and the Big Ten will have a spot at college football’s big table once again.
* * *
EL HOMBRE SEZ: If Roger Clemens’ posse of $500/hour mouthpieces can convince a jury to render a “not guilty” verdict in his perjury trial, he may have just paid the highest-ever admission fee to Cooperstown. Then again, it’s one thing to obfuscate, bob and weave in front of a jury and another to convince skeptical Hall of Fame voters that Clemens wasn’t a juicer…Looks like incarcerated Giants wideout Plaxico Burress isn’t playing ball this year, thanks to a judge who shot down his work-release request. Aw, shoot! Oops, maybe that wasn’t the best way to express outrage…Whether it was overwork, poor mechanics or some sort of curse on the woeful Nationals’ franchise, it is a true tragedy that pitcher Stephen Strasburg must undergo Tommy John surgery Friday to repair a torn tendon in his pitching elbow. All serious injuries are sad, but this comes to a player on whom a team and city placed its hopes. Strasburg might rebound and become a dominant pitcher, but it’s unlikely he’ll ever reach his complete potential. That’s a damn shame…Can you name another one-time major sporting event that has lost more luster than the U.S. Open tennis championship? Once a must-see event, it is now populated by a group of largely-anonymous players, all but a handful of whom don’t matter a lick to American audiences. Worse, it takes weekend TV time away from college football. Where have you gone, John McEnroe?
* * *
YOU GOT A PROBLEM WITH THAT?: Now that we’re in September, the Phillies must stop talking about how long the season is, how much experience they have and start winning games. Throughout the past five months, whenever the Phils committed unpardonable sins like losing four to the Astros or using Dannys Baez out of the bullpen, they were quick to remind nervous fans and cranky media the season consisted of 162 games, not 16 or even 82. The time for patience is over. The Phillies are three games out of first in the NL East and have yet to demonstrated any sustained consistency at the plate. If this is indeed the team’s time, then we should expect excellent play and no more calls for patience. As the team’s margin for error shrinks, its accountability will rise. It’s time to see if the Phillies are really a championship team, because the long season is getting pretty short.
* * *
AND ANOTHER THING: Throughout the next several days, NFL teams will determine final depth charts and make the difficult decisions about who belongs and doesn’t belong on their teams. It’s an arduous process that always ends in dejection for dozens of hopefuls. Arizona head coach Ken Whisenhunt has already made one player pretty upset when he announced Derek Anderson will be his starting QB when the Cards open the season next weekend. That ran counter to the hopes and dreams of one Matt Leinart, who during his brief NFL career has done nothing to show he belongs as a regular under center in the league, yet somehow thinks he deserves a starting spot. In response to Whisenhunt’s decision, Leinart whined to the media, whined to the coach and generally acted like the kind of petulant child to whom you would never turn over control of your offense. Leinart is inconsistent, doesn’t seem like a particularly hard worker and hasn’t exactly established himself as a leader. And, now, because of his behavior, he could be traded to some garden spot like Buffalo. Hope the tantrum was worth it, Matt.
-EH-
Showing posts with label Stephen Strasburg. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Stephen Strasburg. Show all posts
Thursday, September 2, 2010
Friday, June 11, 2010
Screw Nostalgia
EL HOMBRE KNOWS SPORTS
“At the end of the day, we’re going to make the decision that best serves Nebraska.”
-- Chuck Hassebrook, Nebraska University Regent
Wednesday night, El Hombre happened upon a programming gem on the Big Ten Network, and it distracted his attention from the icy proceedings in Philadelphia and just about every other modern-day sporting pursuit. It was the 1952 football highlight reel, and it included footage of the conference’s nine teams – plus Michigan State, which would join up officially the following season. There, in beautiful black-and-white, with piped-in crowd effects and a classic ‘50s voiceover, were the gridiron exploits of Hopalong Cassady, Alan “The Horse” Ameche and Tom O’Connell. No matter how futile a team’s season was, the announcer assured fans that if the “injury bug” could be avoided, prosperity was nigh. Or that coach So-and-So’s “rebuilding project” was well under way.
It was great to see the offensive sets and the fakes executed by shifty backs. There was even an old-fashioned “Navy” kick that backfired and resulted in a long return. It was a wonderfully wistful half-hour capped by the following poetic sign-off:
“We close another season of great upsets and hard play that make football the favorite fall sport of America’s youth.”
It’s entirely possible that within the next five or 10 years, we may have the opportunity to look back at the 2009 college football season through the same misty eyes. The high-definition video may even seem wonderfully archaic, should the onslaught of 3-D television occur at a pace expected by many in the business. Names like Ingram, Tebow, Suh and Gerhart may be more easily recalled, but the spirit of the game and its essence will be changed.
The tectonic plates of college football – and college athletics on the whole – have already begun shifting. Nebraska will be a Big Ten member. Colorado has already defected to the Pac-10. Texas, Texas A&M, Oklahoma and whatever other schools they deem worthy of inclusion in their big-money club could join the Buffaloes. Or, they may go to the SEC. Or to the English Premier League. The Big 12 is toast. The Big East could be blown to bits as well, replaced by an aggregation of Catholic basketball schools that might be required to begin each game with a “Hail Mary.”
The resulting structure will resemble less the quaint regional aggregations that were built on rivalries and tradition and more like the corporate models that dominate the business landscape. Historic relationships will be replaced by market share. Long-time partners will be torn apart, replaced by marriages of convenience that dilute the soul of the sport.
This is, of course, inevitable. Money is the engine that drives the big-time sporting train, and relationships that produce the most cash are the most valuable. Welcome to the 21st century, folks. Check your nostalgia at the door, and make sure to tune in for that “instant classic” between Texas Tech and Oregon State. In college football heaven, Grantland Rice is crying on Sleepy Jim Crowley’s shoulder.
This isn’t the first time we have had a cataclysm like this. One upheaval began in 1984, when Georgia and Oklahoma successfully sued for possession of the rights to televise their football games, and the College Football Association was born. The resulting loosening of the TV reins brought fans an expanded menu of action that continues to swell today. It was good news for fans who wanted more choices and more opportunities to watch the great sport play out every week. But it had an unintended consequence. No longer were towns like College Station, Ames and Starkville mysterious destinations, tinged with a sense of the romantic, despite their relatively backwater locations. Before ’84, we would receive occasional dispatch from those gridiron outposts but rare was the full glimpse. From that point on, we knew them all too well. That was good news for the denizens of those hamlets and the schools that inhabit them, but for the fans who idealized them, it was something of a disappointment. Illusions were shattered. You mean Iowa State games aren’t all played under gunmetal gray skies with tornado threats posted at halftime? That the cowbell chorus at Mississippi State ends after the game? And that members of Texas A&M’s silent drill team actually speak when they’re not performing?
Throughout the next 25 years, the conference landscape shifted, as schools grabbed for a bigger slice of that TV pie. The SEC stole Arkansas and killed the Southwest Conference, leading some Texans to liken the Razorbacks to Iranian terrorists. (Really.) The Big 12 formed from a marriage between the SWC’s remnants and the mighty Big Eight. The Big East started playing football. The ACC discovered the sport. And Penn State became a Midwestern school. You know the story.
And you knew it was inevitable that it wouldn’t stop there. The mega-conferences are coming, and those who resist change stubbornly as a nod to a rosy past will be left behind like schools in small-time TV markets. Progress continues, and you can either surrender to it or be overrun. When El Hombre was teaching his Young Geniuses this past term in “The Future of Sports Journalism,” he was sure to remind them every class that the business is moving forward, and those who still look at it in terms of an eight-column broadsheet are doomed. So, saddle up and get ready for the Pac-16, or whatever it will be called.
Just don’t expect it all to be as much fun. College football exists now for the money, from the players to the coaches, to the ADs to the hypocritical presidents who spew on about “student-athletes” and how to protect them best. You want to serve your students, Mr. President? Then don’t make your softball team travel from Stillwater to Pullman. For decades, college football was about the wonderful, unique rituals that surrounded the games. Ohio State fans have always thirsted to beat Michigan, but only after the band ran through the script Ohio. Pretty soon the final two words of “The Notre Dame Victory March” will be “registered trademark.”
One of the reasons why the Missouri-Kansas football rivalry was so great was that it was born out of a pre-Civil War dispute between the states over slavery. (Kansas was pro-slavery; Missouri wanted it abolished.) From the minute the schools started playing each other, in 1891, there was a contentious tone. In a few weeks, it’s possible that the game may never be played again. Or, if it is, it won’t come in late November. That’s a shame. And no matter how hard the new leagues and their TV partners try to sell the new matchup, an Oklahoma State-Arizona clash born out of greed won’t have the same impact as a game that emerged from seething border hostilities during one our country’s most dire periods.
College football is changing, and fans and media had better get on board. Just don’t expect things to be nearly as good or as much fun.
Meanwhile, keep an eye out for those old-fashioned TV programs. They help ease the pain.
* * *
EL HOMBRE SEZ: The good news for Nationals prodigy Stephen Strasburg is that he gets one more Class AAA start – Sunday against the Cleveland Indians – before he has to face big-league hitters…Pig Pen Roethlisberger wants fans to know that he apologizes to them for being “immature,” “young” and “dumb.” How about being a felon (allegedly), forcing himself on women (allegedly) and being a scumbag (definitely)? The Steelers’ QB apologized to the fans and his family, but not to either of the women (if there were only two) who accused him of forcing himself on them. Unfortunately, since Pig Pen is following the Mea Culpa Playbook to perfection, all will be forgiven soon. Of course his (alleged) victims will never forget…The LeBron James soap opera continues to spin wildly, even though no one is allowed to speak with the underachieving Cavaliers’ forward officially until July 1. Teams continue to jockey for position in the competition for his services, and the Cavs are trying to find a coach that will make him happy. What he really needs is someone who will help him grow up (that means no more pre-game skits and choreographed dance routines during timeouts) and force him to learn how to shoot a jump shot. That will be worth more to him than even the biggest contract…Let’s give it up for Pete Carroll, who was able to skip town before the NC2A gumshoes laid down the smack on his USC program for not preventing Reggie Bush from accepting cash and prizes from an agent. The Trojans will lose up to 30 scholarships, miss out on bowl games for two seasons and forfeit games from the ’04 and (probably) ’05 seasons. The only justice is that former Carroll lieutenant Lane Kiffin, who was present during the shenanigans, is forced to pick up the pieces. ‘SC cheated, because school officials knew what Bush was doing and will now pay a severe price. Good.
* * *
YOU GOT A PROBLEM WITH THAT? The best thing to come out of the Flyers’ thrilling Stanley Cup near-miss was the attitude of Philadelphia fans, who actually appreciated the team’s success, despite the disappointing outcome. For once, the zero-sum game that has been sold to the area’s denizens was abandoned in favor of the joy of rooting for a team and not focusing merely on the outcome. Yes, the run to the final round was not expected, and that made fans less prone to demanding a championship or else. The resulting good feelings and desire to celebrate the Flyers’ accomplishments was truly refreshing. Unfortunately, the happy mood won’t last. The Phillies and Eagles are different than their underdog counterparts and won’t receive free passes. They shouldn’t. Unlike the Flyers, whose post-season run came out of nowhere, the Phils and Eagles have sold us championship dreams and must therefore be judged their relative success. As for the Sixers, a three-game winning streak would almost warrant a parade.
* * *
AND ANOTHER THING: It has almost become a cliché for Americans to regard soccer as a 90-minute sleep aid. Anybody who favors the sport is weak, bland and – worse – French. But the World Cup is different. You may not have an interest in an MLS matchup between FC Topeka and Real Bayonne (although the Philadelphia Union is worth checking out), but a slugfest between a pair of historical rivals is a different story. When Croatia beat Germany, 3-0, in the ’98 World Cup, it wasn’t just an athletic triumph, it was also an historic verdict for a country that had spent time under Nazi oppression and destruction during WWII. Every victory doesn’t have the same significance, but the combination of the sport’s best players and a heavy dose of nationalism makes the World Cup compelling theater, even if the game ends 1-0. Enjoy the artistry. Experience the passion. And don’t worry; we won’t tell the NFL you were watching. As for the tournament itself, figure the final four to be Brazil, England, Argentina and Spain, with the Samba stars facing off against the Spaniards for all the marbles. Advantage: Brazil. Looking for a dark horse? Try the Italians (14:1), who always do better when less is expected of them.
-EH-
“At the end of the day, we’re going to make the decision that best serves Nebraska.”
-- Chuck Hassebrook, Nebraska University Regent
Wednesday night, El Hombre happened upon a programming gem on the Big Ten Network, and it distracted his attention from the icy proceedings in Philadelphia and just about every other modern-day sporting pursuit. It was the 1952 football highlight reel, and it included footage of the conference’s nine teams – plus Michigan State, which would join up officially the following season. There, in beautiful black-and-white, with piped-in crowd effects and a classic ‘50s voiceover, were the gridiron exploits of Hopalong Cassady, Alan “The Horse” Ameche and Tom O’Connell. No matter how futile a team’s season was, the announcer assured fans that if the “injury bug” could be avoided, prosperity was nigh. Or that coach So-and-So’s “rebuilding project” was well under way.
It was great to see the offensive sets and the fakes executed by shifty backs. There was even an old-fashioned “Navy” kick that backfired and resulted in a long return. It was a wonderfully wistful half-hour capped by the following poetic sign-off:
“We close another season of great upsets and hard play that make football the favorite fall sport of America’s youth.”
It’s entirely possible that within the next five or 10 years, we may have the opportunity to look back at the 2009 college football season through the same misty eyes. The high-definition video may even seem wonderfully archaic, should the onslaught of 3-D television occur at a pace expected by many in the business. Names like Ingram, Tebow, Suh and Gerhart may be more easily recalled, but the spirit of the game and its essence will be changed.
The tectonic plates of college football – and college athletics on the whole – have already begun shifting. Nebraska will be a Big Ten member. Colorado has already defected to the Pac-10. Texas, Texas A&M, Oklahoma and whatever other schools they deem worthy of inclusion in their big-money club could join the Buffaloes. Or, they may go to the SEC. Or to the English Premier League. The Big 12 is toast. The Big East could be blown to bits as well, replaced by an aggregation of Catholic basketball schools that might be required to begin each game with a “Hail Mary.”
The resulting structure will resemble less the quaint regional aggregations that were built on rivalries and tradition and more like the corporate models that dominate the business landscape. Historic relationships will be replaced by market share. Long-time partners will be torn apart, replaced by marriages of convenience that dilute the soul of the sport.
This is, of course, inevitable. Money is the engine that drives the big-time sporting train, and relationships that produce the most cash are the most valuable. Welcome to the 21st century, folks. Check your nostalgia at the door, and make sure to tune in for that “instant classic” between Texas Tech and Oregon State. In college football heaven, Grantland Rice is crying on Sleepy Jim Crowley’s shoulder.
This isn’t the first time we have had a cataclysm like this. One upheaval began in 1984, when Georgia and Oklahoma successfully sued for possession of the rights to televise their football games, and the College Football Association was born. The resulting loosening of the TV reins brought fans an expanded menu of action that continues to swell today. It was good news for fans who wanted more choices and more opportunities to watch the great sport play out every week. But it had an unintended consequence. No longer were towns like College Station, Ames and Starkville mysterious destinations, tinged with a sense of the romantic, despite their relatively backwater locations. Before ’84, we would receive occasional dispatch from those gridiron outposts but rare was the full glimpse. From that point on, we knew them all too well. That was good news for the denizens of those hamlets and the schools that inhabit them, but for the fans who idealized them, it was something of a disappointment. Illusions were shattered. You mean Iowa State games aren’t all played under gunmetal gray skies with tornado threats posted at halftime? That the cowbell chorus at Mississippi State ends after the game? And that members of Texas A&M’s silent drill team actually speak when they’re not performing?
Throughout the next 25 years, the conference landscape shifted, as schools grabbed for a bigger slice of that TV pie. The SEC stole Arkansas and killed the Southwest Conference, leading some Texans to liken the Razorbacks to Iranian terrorists. (Really.) The Big 12 formed from a marriage between the SWC’s remnants and the mighty Big Eight. The Big East started playing football. The ACC discovered the sport. And Penn State became a Midwestern school. You know the story.
And you knew it was inevitable that it wouldn’t stop there. The mega-conferences are coming, and those who resist change stubbornly as a nod to a rosy past will be left behind like schools in small-time TV markets. Progress continues, and you can either surrender to it or be overrun. When El Hombre was teaching his Young Geniuses this past term in “The Future of Sports Journalism,” he was sure to remind them every class that the business is moving forward, and those who still look at it in terms of an eight-column broadsheet are doomed. So, saddle up and get ready for the Pac-16, or whatever it will be called.
Just don’t expect it all to be as much fun. College football exists now for the money, from the players to the coaches, to the ADs to the hypocritical presidents who spew on about “student-athletes” and how to protect them best. You want to serve your students, Mr. President? Then don’t make your softball team travel from Stillwater to Pullman. For decades, college football was about the wonderful, unique rituals that surrounded the games. Ohio State fans have always thirsted to beat Michigan, but only after the band ran through the script Ohio. Pretty soon the final two words of “The Notre Dame Victory March” will be “registered trademark.”
One of the reasons why the Missouri-Kansas football rivalry was so great was that it was born out of a pre-Civil War dispute between the states over slavery. (Kansas was pro-slavery; Missouri wanted it abolished.) From the minute the schools started playing each other, in 1891, there was a contentious tone. In a few weeks, it’s possible that the game may never be played again. Or, if it is, it won’t come in late November. That’s a shame. And no matter how hard the new leagues and their TV partners try to sell the new matchup, an Oklahoma State-Arizona clash born out of greed won’t have the same impact as a game that emerged from seething border hostilities during one our country’s most dire periods.
College football is changing, and fans and media had better get on board. Just don’t expect things to be nearly as good or as much fun.
Meanwhile, keep an eye out for those old-fashioned TV programs. They help ease the pain.
* * *
EL HOMBRE SEZ: The good news for Nationals prodigy Stephen Strasburg is that he gets one more Class AAA start – Sunday against the Cleveland Indians – before he has to face big-league hitters…Pig Pen Roethlisberger wants fans to know that he apologizes to them for being “immature,” “young” and “dumb.” How about being a felon (allegedly), forcing himself on women (allegedly) and being a scumbag (definitely)? The Steelers’ QB apologized to the fans and his family, but not to either of the women (if there were only two) who accused him of forcing himself on them. Unfortunately, since Pig Pen is following the Mea Culpa Playbook to perfection, all will be forgiven soon. Of course his (alleged) victims will never forget…The LeBron James soap opera continues to spin wildly, even though no one is allowed to speak with the underachieving Cavaliers’ forward officially until July 1. Teams continue to jockey for position in the competition for his services, and the Cavs are trying to find a coach that will make him happy. What he really needs is someone who will help him grow up (that means no more pre-game skits and choreographed dance routines during timeouts) and force him to learn how to shoot a jump shot. That will be worth more to him than even the biggest contract…Let’s give it up for Pete Carroll, who was able to skip town before the NC2A gumshoes laid down the smack on his USC program for not preventing Reggie Bush from accepting cash and prizes from an agent. The Trojans will lose up to 30 scholarships, miss out on bowl games for two seasons and forfeit games from the ’04 and (probably) ’05 seasons. The only justice is that former Carroll lieutenant Lane Kiffin, who was present during the shenanigans, is forced to pick up the pieces. ‘SC cheated, because school officials knew what Bush was doing and will now pay a severe price. Good.
* * *
YOU GOT A PROBLEM WITH THAT? The best thing to come out of the Flyers’ thrilling Stanley Cup near-miss was the attitude of Philadelphia fans, who actually appreciated the team’s success, despite the disappointing outcome. For once, the zero-sum game that has been sold to the area’s denizens was abandoned in favor of the joy of rooting for a team and not focusing merely on the outcome. Yes, the run to the final round was not expected, and that made fans less prone to demanding a championship or else. The resulting good feelings and desire to celebrate the Flyers’ accomplishments was truly refreshing. Unfortunately, the happy mood won’t last. The Phillies and Eagles are different than their underdog counterparts and won’t receive free passes. They shouldn’t. Unlike the Flyers, whose post-season run came out of nowhere, the Phils and Eagles have sold us championship dreams and must therefore be judged their relative success. As for the Sixers, a three-game winning streak would almost warrant a parade.
* * *
AND ANOTHER THING: It has almost become a cliché for Americans to regard soccer as a 90-minute sleep aid. Anybody who favors the sport is weak, bland and – worse – French. But the World Cup is different. You may not have an interest in an MLS matchup between FC Topeka and Real Bayonne (although the Philadelphia Union is worth checking out), but a slugfest between a pair of historical rivals is a different story. When Croatia beat Germany, 3-0, in the ’98 World Cup, it wasn’t just an athletic triumph, it was also an historic verdict for a country that had spent time under Nazi oppression and destruction during WWII. Every victory doesn’t have the same significance, but the combination of the sport’s best players and a heavy dose of nationalism makes the World Cup compelling theater, even if the game ends 1-0. Enjoy the artistry. Experience the passion. And don’t worry; we won’t tell the NFL you were watching. As for the tournament itself, figure the final four to be Brazil, England, Argentina and Spain, with the Samba stars facing off against the Spaniards for all the marbles. Advantage: Brazil. Looking for a dark horse? Try the Italians (14:1), who always do better when less is expected of them.
-EH-
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