EL HOMBRE KNOWS SPORTS
As the NFL promotional machine cranks itself up to new and more ridiculous levels than ever, the actual game looms mercifully Sunday as an antidote to the silliness and self-indulgence that have characterized the country’s most popular sport’s signature event. Soon, we won’t have to worry about wigs and fur coats and endless analysis about key players and difference-makers. It won’t matter whether Ben Roethlisberger sang “Piano Man” Tuesday night – and off key, at that. It will be football time, and all will be right for fans who grow ever weary of the league’s attempts to turn a competition into a spectacle and a spectacle into a parody.
We get a gift this time, as two old-time franchises trudge to the middle of False Face’s pleasure dome. No nouveau squads in garish uniforms (see Cardinals, Arizona; Seahawks, Seattle and Titans, Tennessee). No mascots. No cheerleaders, although not even El Hombre is a big enough purist to wish away that part of the show. We have two top-10 QBs, a pair of violent defenses and a notable absence of trash-spewing players and coaches. The league’s bad guys are home, licking their wounds and preparing to launch envious Twitter assaults. Amidst the 21st century nonsense that has become so much a part of the NFL experience, this game is welcome respite.
Not everything is perfect. The teams will meet indoors. And Fox will no doubt be at its self-aggrandizing best. But the worst blotch on the game is the absence of the one man capable of giving it the necessary gravitas and historical perspective. The man for whose baritone a game like this was made.
John Facenda.
The Voice of God headed to the heavenly press box in 1984, leaving NFL Films with a deficit at the microphone. His successors – the great Harry Kalas among them – though game and certainly capable, never duplicated Facenda’s legendary delivery. Hearing him say, “Otis Taylor turned a routine hitch pass into a devastating touchdown,” was almost like listening to John F. Kennedy ask us what we could do for our country. That was Facenda. That was the magic of the 1970s NFL, and that’s what El Hombre wishes he could have for this one. Pittsburgh-Green Bay does not deserve anything but the best. This matches the teams with the most Super Bowl titles (Pittsburgh: 6) and NFL championships (Green Bay: 11). It conjures memories of Vince Lombardi and the Packer Sweep, and Chuck Noll and the Steel Curtain. If any game cried out for Facenda, it was this one.
Facenda’s narration of NFL Films’ half-hour Super Bowl presentations imbued even the blandest game – like the tedious ’73 Miami-Washington ordeal – with a sense of drama. Routine plays became heroic. Big performances were rendered legendary. As the Steelers, Packers and their compelling histories prepare to clash, nothing short of Facenda’s authoritative presence could provide the necessary context. No matter how great the game is (or isn’t), there will definitely be something missing, especially as the league and its propaganda partners contort their minds in pursuit of enough “news” to fill the long hours leading up to the game.
On the field, we might not be disappointed, even if a small percentage of previous Super Bowls has been worthy of the game’s appellation. There can be little argument that the two teams represent the best of their respective conferences. Neither “shocked the world” by reaching the Super Bowl, even though Green Bay did emerge from the wild-card position to play for all the cheese. Many thought Captain Hoodie’s troops would represent the AFC, but the Steelers used their balance to beat Baltimore and the Jets – who had made the Pats look ordinary a week before.
Perhaps the best thing about both teams is that each is committed to running the football. Green Bay’s Aaron Rodgers may have thrown for 3,922 yards during the regular season, but the Packers showed a strong devotion to the run during the playoffs, averaging 31.7 carries per game, which is actually more than the passes they attempted (by a shade). The Steelers, meanwhile, ran it 23 more times than they have passed it in wins over Baltimore and New York. This is yet another reason to love the two teams. In a league that has done everything it can to propagate the passing game, they realize that truly successful
teams can mash.
And play D. That has been the Steelers’ hallmark since Chuck Noll took over back in ’69 and continues under coordinator Dick LeBeau. Under Mike McCarthy, the Packers have become better and better on that side of the ball. After spending three seasons (2006-08) out of the top 10 in total defense, the Pack has been second and fifth the past two. A big reason for that is the 2009 decision to hire Dom Capers to run the defense. Since his arrival, not to mention the ’09 decision to draft human drain plug B.J. Raji and all-everything LB Clay Matthews with the team’s two first-round picks, the Packers have been much better.
Were this game not surrounded by a full hour of commercial and promotional folderol it might be a quick one, as two teams devoted to working the clock slug it out. Instead, when Fox’s lead-in to a “very special episode” of Glee concludes, it will likely have dragged on for four hours. When it’s finally over, and the Lombardi Trophy (please, NFL, don’t redesign it like you did the conference hardware) is awarded, Pittsburgh will have grabbed its seventh Super Bowl title. The Steelers are a little better on D, will run the ball with more success, and Roethlisberger will – as usual – make a couple big plays down the stretch. Pittsburgh 24, Green Bay 20. (Post-season record against the spread: 7-3.)
* * *
EL HOMBRE SEZ: Say what you want about hockey’s goon factor, but you can’t deny the entertainment value of Thursday’s Stars-Bruins game, which featured three fights in the first four seconds (that’s right) of play…Shame on CBS College Sports for making deposed Michigan football coach Rich Ro-riguez (no D) interview his successor, Brady Hoke, on signing day. Ro-riguez deserved to get the gate in Ann Arbor, but he didn’t have to endure the session with Hoke. What’s next, video of his most recent colonoscopy?...There are reports of match fixing, gambling and gangsters in the world of sumo wrestling as the scandal ballooned this week. The scope of the investigation continues to widen, and the perps could face fat fines and hefty suspensions. Japanese TV networks are considering dropping live coverage of the March tournament and replacing it with competitive eating…Amidst huge statewide education budget cuts and continued concerns about whether some schools can even stay open, Allen HS is building a $60 million, 18,000-seat stadium on campus. At least the taxpayers’ money isn’t being wasted on something frivolous, like a new chem lab, or the people would be pretty steamed.
* * *
YOU GOT A PROBLEM WITH THAT? When El Hombre received an e-mail Wednesday morning from an Airtight Source telling him the Eagles were about to hire a defensive coordinator who had never coached D in the NFL before, he couldn’t believe it. Neither could the two league execs he asked whether that made any sense. But, sure enough, later that day, the Birds announced they were promoting offensive line coach Juan Castillo to DC. It’s a move that defies description and explanation. No matter how the Eagles want to rationalize this, it doesn’t smell right. If moving someone from a position coaching spot one side of the ball to a coordinator’s position on the other side made so much sense, how come it isn’t done more often? Or at all? The true story of this one won’t be out for a while, and El Hombre believes it has more to do with Castillo’s replacement, formerly-retired Howard Mudd, than it does with the team’s feeling that Castillo is the next Jim Johnson. Head coach Andy Reid has put his sizeable posterior on the line before, but this could be his biggest exposure yet. Should Castillo fail to do the job, it won’t be viewed as his fault, rather the responsibility of the man who put him in the wrong position. Reid may feel he’s bulletproof within the organization, but this move might tear away some of the Kevlar that surrounds him. We’ll wait and see, out of respect to Castillo, but a failure could topple Reid’s regime.
* * *
AND ANOTHER THING: This is El Hombre’s 300th effort, and the past six-plus years have been a fun ride – to where, nobody really knows. What began as a means of clearing the opinions out of a cluttered mind has turned into something with (limited) national appeal and a community of readers/responders that is edifying. EH promises the next 300 missives will be filled with the same passion, strident beliefs, whimsy and, yes, anger – not to mention plenty of Animal House references – that the previous collection was. If you like what you’re seeing, you can find more by checking out @DailyHombre on Twitter. Thanks for reading.
-EH-
Showing posts with label Vince Lombardi. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Vince Lombardi. Show all posts
Friday, February 4, 2011
Friday, May 28, 2010
Braving the Elements
EL HOMBRE KNOWS SPORTS
Packer Rick is in heaven these days, and not just because his beloved Green Bay club is on the rise or his mighty fifth-grade lacrosse club overwhelmed all comers during the recent season.
From his command center in the nearly-legendary Pack Den, Packer Rick keeps a watchful eye on the sports world’s traditions. The Den’s walls are covered – and El Hombre means covered – with framed photographs of history’s heroes, athletic, military and political. He even has a still of Erwin Rommel, Germany’s “Desert Fox.” “He hated Hitler,” Packer Rick says, justifying the famous tank commander’s presence with the other luminaries. Of course, he also has a photo of Gen. George Patton – “He stares at Rommel, on the opposite wall, of course” – and won’t hesitate to recount the line attributed to “Old Blood and Guts” in his marvelous biopic: “Rommel, you magnificent bastard! I read your book!”
At any given time, Packer Rick could be screening some old AFL footage or a 1970s NFL playoff game. He might be holding forth on the virtues of high school football’s inherent value for building character and lifelong bonds between comrades and combatants. And, if it’s mid-December, he’s likely to be nailing up another butt of the family Christmas tree on the eave overhanging his bar. He’s up to about 17 now, and seeing them lined up is a quite a sight.
Earlier this week, Packer Rick received an unexpected gift from the NFL owners when they announced the 2014 Super Bowl would be held in the swamps of Jersey. For someone who still turns on the TV every Sunday rooting for a snowstorm or rain deluge and thinks domes are the devil’s work, a championship game played in arctic conditions with swirling snow and ice-encrusted spectators would be a gift from the football gods. Or from Vince Lombardi. He can only imagine what NFL Films would be able to do with such a canvas. Forget the game action; Packer Rick wants shots of behemoth linemen exhaling steam and icicles clinging to the goalposts.
But what excites Packer Rick even more is that the announcement paves the way for future cold-weather Super Bowls, including one in Green Bay. “It lets me put my “50th year anniversary of the Ice Bowl” 2017 Super Bowl at 1265 Lombardi Avenue petition into action,” he says, laughing. Don’t bet against him. He’ll have 10,000 signatures before you can say, “Run to Daylight.”
There has been much sturm und drang about the league’s decision to bestow its Big Game upon the New York metropolitan area. Players say how much they hate toiling in cold weather, as if anybody but Canadians embraces it. We hear horror stories about what would happen if it snowed (people would wear boots), although the biggest snowfall in NYC history on the date of this year’s Super Bowl was three inches. And we hear how horrible it will be for fans traveling to the big game who will have to endure cold temperatures as they take part in the festivities. It may not be the beach, but if you can’t find something to do in Manhattan, regardless of the weather, you are about as much fun as a Congressional hearing.
Football is the ultimate tough-guy game (although if hockey players keep losing multiple teeth and returning to action 10 minutes later, we may have to re-think that), so anyone who complains about playing in 30-degree temperatures must be a baseball player – or a wide re-diva. There have been scores of important games played during the NFL’s history in less than ideal conditions. Packer Rick’s beloved Ice Bowl is the most famous, but from the New York Giants’ 1934 NFL championship win over the Bears on the Polo Grounds’ frozen turf (Giants’ coach Steve Owen outfitted his charges in sneakers at halftime, and they pulled away after intermission) through the Steelers’ snow-speckled triumph over the Ravens in the ’09 AFC title game, the elements have played a big role in professional football. Staging a Super Bowl in a climate that could be less than ideal returns the sport to its roots and creates a great stage.
Ask anybody who played pickup football on a snow-covered field how much fun that can be. Ask anybody who has watched a snowy game on television if they enjoyed the experience, and the nearly-unanimous answer will be “Yes!” As for those fans who will have to brave the elements to watch the league’s best battle, remember this old Siberian adage: “There is no such thing as weather too cold, just inadequate clothing.” In other words, bundle up. Then bundle up some more. You’ll be fine.
Finally, a bit of advice for those who think cold weather will inhibit the ability to have fun in New York. Last Super Bowl weekend, El Hombre and La Mujer bivouacked at the Waldorf-Astoria. We visited the Museum of Modern Art, caught a play on Broadway, had some dynamite Mexican food, attended Mass at St. Patrick’s Cathedral and had a great brunch with family from the 44th floor of an apartment building with a spectacular view. Aside from the $55 glass of whisky a flighty Scotsman made EH finance, the weekend was perfect. By the way, the temperature that weekend hovered in the 20s, with a brutal wind-chill. We hardly remember the climate, just the fun.
So, hats off to the NFL for putting the Super Bowl in New York/Jersey. Let it be a gateway to other cold-weather hosts. And should the game be played in conditions better suited for ice fishing, remember another old Russian proverb: “If it’s cold in February, summer will be pleasant.”
And should you see Packer Rick, sign his petition. We have to get the ’17 game at Lambeau.
* * *
EL HOMBRE SEZ: Michigan has penalized itself for exceeding the number of practice and workout hours allowed by the NC2A. In addition to some future limits on field time and the firing of an employee involved in the scandal, the school has also forced all coaches and administrators to watch every minute of game action from the past two seasons, when coach Rich Ro-riguez’s (no D) teams went a combined 8-16. Talk about your draconian punishments…Good news for Sammy Sosa: The Congressional committee investigating baseball’s steroids addiction won’t investigate him. Seems it was too hard to find an interpreter to work with Sosa, who vacillates between speaking English just fine during clubhouse interviews and being unable to say a word while under oath…Speaking of illegal performance-enhancing drugs, El Hombre is certain that it’s just a coincidence that Dr. Anthony Galea, whom Eldrick Woods sought out for treatment, also worked with A-Fraud and other known juicers. Woods just went to Galea for therapeutic reasons. Right. And soccer star Cristiano Ronaldo is dating Kim Kardashian for her mind…In other soccer news, England’s Trade Union Council has requested that employers allow workers to watch games involving the national team during the upcoming World Cup. Benefits include a happier workforce and limited “sick-outs” on game days. Companies who participate are being encouraged to create “hooligan zones,” where drunken workers can destroy property and beat the tar out of other ethnic groups…It’s early. It probably won’t happen. But wouldn’t it be magical if the Celtics joined the Broons in a double Beantown choke?
* * *
YOU GOT A PROBLEM WITH THAT? So, here are the Flyers, the scrappiest team in all of sports, getting ready to tangle with the mighty Blackhawks. Chicago piled up more points during the regular season. It has a deeper defense and more scorers. It plays in the stronger Western Conference. Everything points to a Blackhawks series victory – except history. While it has been 35 years since the Flyers hoisted the Cup, Chicago is in the midst of a 49-year drought. Further, by overcoming a 3-0 deficit against the Broons and smashing Montreal, a now-healthy Flyers team has gained tremendous confidence and has proven it can win anywhere. Yes, the Blackhawks have been dynamite on the road, and that Dustin Byfuglien character is a beast. If Philadelphia continues to play rugged hockey and doesn’t take a bunch of stupid penalties, and if goalie Michael Leighton keeps the magic dust on his shoulders, the Flyers can win. In fact, the Flyers will win. In six. Batten down the hatches. This will be a wild celebration.
* * *
AND ANOTHER THING: Some time in the next few weeks, LeBron James, Dwyane Wade, Chris Bosh and Joe Johnson will sit down to discuss their respective free agent futures. Consider it the professional basketball equivalent of the Potsdam conference, which led to the redesign of Europe’s borders after WWII. Or, if you wish, you can liken it to the final scene of “Mobsters,” when Lucky Luciano, Meyer Lansky and the boys divide up the country into crime fiefdoms. The four ballers – and anybody else they decide worthy of inclusion – will basically do the same thing with the NBA. They’ll discuss the pros and cons of various franchises, figure who should play where and try to maximize their earning potential. When the owners do this, it’s “collusion.” When star players get together to cut such deals, it’s “business.” If the meeting yields the outcome El Hombre thinks it will, the league will be officially at the mercy of its players, who will have established a new competitive balance based on their own whims and personal interests. This is an unprecedented move in professional sports history, and it demonstrates exactly why the product we are watching – and in many instances paying dearly to see – lacks the same allure and competitive drama as its predecessors did. If players are getting together with the idea of dispersing themselves or, in some cases, banding together, then pro basketball has no chance of establishing future rivalries with real teeth. Instead, it will have the feel of a cartel, in which the participants work together for greater financial aid for the whole. The superstar sit-down is a compelling concept, but it is bad for basketball. For the NBA’s sake, let’s hope the outcome doesn’t produce a disaster.
-EH-
Packer Rick is in heaven these days, and not just because his beloved Green Bay club is on the rise or his mighty fifth-grade lacrosse club overwhelmed all comers during the recent season.
From his command center in the nearly-legendary Pack Den, Packer Rick keeps a watchful eye on the sports world’s traditions. The Den’s walls are covered – and El Hombre means covered – with framed photographs of history’s heroes, athletic, military and political. He even has a still of Erwin Rommel, Germany’s “Desert Fox.” “He hated Hitler,” Packer Rick says, justifying the famous tank commander’s presence with the other luminaries. Of course, he also has a photo of Gen. George Patton – “He stares at Rommel, on the opposite wall, of course” – and won’t hesitate to recount the line attributed to “Old Blood and Guts” in his marvelous biopic: “Rommel, you magnificent bastard! I read your book!”
At any given time, Packer Rick could be screening some old AFL footage or a 1970s NFL playoff game. He might be holding forth on the virtues of high school football’s inherent value for building character and lifelong bonds between comrades and combatants. And, if it’s mid-December, he’s likely to be nailing up another butt of the family Christmas tree on the eave overhanging his bar. He’s up to about 17 now, and seeing them lined up is a quite a sight.
Earlier this week, Packer Rick received an unexpected gift from the NFL owners when they announced the 2014 Super Bowl would be held in the swamps of Jersey. For someone who still turns on the TV every Sunday rooting for a snowstorm or rain deluge and thinks domes are the devil’s work, a championship game played in arctic conditions with swirling snow and ice-encrusted spectators would be a gift from the football gods. Or from Vince Lombardi. He can only imagine what NFL Films would be able to do with such a canvas. Forget the game action; Packer Rick wants shots of behemoth linemen exhaling steam and icicles clinging to the goalposts.
But what excites Packer Rick even more is that the announcement paves the way for future cold-weather Super Bowls, including one in Green Bay. “It lets me put my “50th year anniversary of the Ice Bowl” 2017 Super Bowl at 1265 Lombardi Avenue petition into action,” he says, laughing. Don’t bet against him. He’ll have 10,000 signatures before you can say, “Run to Daylight.”
There has been much sturm und drang about the league’s decision to bestow its Big Game upon the New York metropolitan area. Players say how much they hate toiling in cold weather, as if anybody but Canadians embraces it. We hear horror stories about what would happen if it snowed (people would wear boots), although the biggest snowfall in NYC history on the date of this year’s Super Bowl was three inches. And we hear how horrible it will be for fans traveling to the big game who will have to endure cold temperatures as they take part in the festivities. It may not be the beach, but if you can’t find something to do in Manhattan, regardless of the weather, you are about as much fun as a Congressional hearing.
Football is the ultimate tough-guy game (although if hockey players keep losing multiple teeth and returning to action 10 minutes later, we may have to re-think that), so anyone who complains about playing in 30-degree temperatures must be a baseball player – or a wide re-diva. There have been scores of important games played during the NFL’s history in less than ideal conditions. Packer Rick’s beloved Ice Bowl is the most famous, but from the New York Giants’ 1934 NFL championship win over the Bears on the Polo Grounds’ frozen turf (Giants’ coach Steve Owen outfitted his charges in sneakers at halftime, and they pulled away after intermission) through the Steelers’ snow-speckled triumph over the Ravens in the ’09 AFC title game, the elements have played a big role in professional football. Staging a Super Bowl in a climate that could be less than ideal returns the sport to its roots and creates a great stage.
Ask anybody who played pickup football on a snow-covered field how much fun that can be. Ask anybody who has watched a snowy game on television if they enjoyed the experience, and the nearly-unanimous answer will be “Yes!” As for those fans who will have to brave the elements to watch the league’s best battle, remember this old Siberian adage: “There is no such thing as weather too cold, just inadequate clothing.” In other words, bundle up. Then bundle up some more. You’ll be fine.
Finally, a bit of advice for those who think cold weather will inhibit the ability to have fun in New York. Last Super Bowl weekend, El Hombre and La Mujer bivouacked at the Waldorf-Astoria. We visited the Museum of Modern Art, caught a play on Broadway, had some dynamite Mexican food, attended Mass at St. Patrick’s Cathedral and had a great brunch with family from the 44th floor of an apartment building with a spectacular view. Aside from the $55 glass of whisky a flighty Scotsman made EH finance, the weekend was perfect. By the way, the temperature that weekend hovered in the 20s, with a brutal wind-chill. We hardly remember the climate, just the fun.
So, hats off to the NFL for putting the Super Bowl in New York/Jersey. Let it be a gateway to other cold-weather hosts. And should the game be played in conditions better suited for ice fishing, remember another old Russian proverb: “If it’s cold in February, summer will be pleasant.”
And should you see Packer Rick, sign his petition. We have to get the ’17 game at Lambeau.
* * *
EL HOMBRE SEZ: Michigan has penalized itself for exceeding the number of practice and workout hours allowed by the NC2A. In addition to some future limits on field time and the firing of an employee involved in the scandal, the school has also forced all coaches and administrators to watch every minute of game action from the past two seasons, when coach Rich Ro-riguez’s (no D) teams went a combined 8-16. Talk about your draconian punishments…Good news for Sammy Sosa: The Congressional committee investigating baseball’s steroids addiction won’t investigate him. Seems it was too hard to find an interpreter to work with Sosa, who vacillates between speaking English just fine during clubhouse interviews and being unable to say a word while under oath…Speaking of illegal performance-enhancing drugs, El Hombre is certain that it’s just a coincidence that Dr. Anthony Galea, whom Eldrick Woods sought out for treatment, also worked with A-Fraud and other known juicers. Woods just went to Galea for therapeutic reasons. Right. And soccer star Cristiano Ronaldo is dating Kim Kardashian for her mind…In other soccer news, England’s Trade Union Council has requested that employers allow workers to watch games involving the national team during the upcoming World Cup. Benefits include a happier workforce and limited “sick-outs” on game days. Companies who participate are being encouraged to create “hooligan zones,” where drunken workers can destroy property and beat the tar out of other ethnic groups…It’s early. It probably won’t happen. But wouldn’t it be magical if the Celtics joined the Broons in a double Beantown choke?
* * *
YOU GOT A PROBLEM WITH THAT? So, here are the Flyers, the scrappiest team in all of sports, getting ready to tangle with the mighty Blackhawks. Chicago piled up more points during the regular season. It has a deeper defense and more scorers. It plays in the stronger Western Conference. Everything points to a Blackhawks series victory – except history. While it has been 35 years since the Flyers hoisted the Cup, Chicago is in the midst of a 49-year drought. Further, by overcoming a 3-0 deficit against the Broons and smashing Montreal, a now-healthy Flyers team has gained tremendous confidence and has proven it can win anywhere. Yes, the Blackhawks have been dynamite on the road, and that Dustin Byfuglien character is a beast. If Philadelphia continues to play rugged hockey and doesn’t take a bunch of stupid penalties, and if goalie Michael Leighton keeps the magic dust on his shoulders, the Flyers can win. In fact, the Flyers will win. In six. Batten down the hatches. This will be a wild celebration.
* * *
AND ANOTHER THING: Some time in the next few weeks, LeBron James, Dwyane Wade, Chris Bosh and Joe Johnson will sit down to discuss their respective free agent futures. Consider it the professional basketball equivalent of the Potsdam conference, which led to the redesign of Europe’s borders after WWII. Or, if you wish, you can liken it to the final scene of “Mobsters,” when Lucky Luciano, Meyer Lansky and the boys divide up the country into crime fiefdoms. The four ballers – and anybody else they decide worthy of inclusion – will basically do the same thing with the NBA. They’ll discuss the pros and cons of various franchises, figure who should play where and try to maximize their earning potential. When the owners do this, it’s “collusion.” When star players get together to cut such deals, it’s “business.” If the meeting yields the outcome El Hombre thinks it will, the league will be officially at the mercy of its players, who will have established a new competitive balance based on their own whims and personal interests. This is an unprecedented move in professional sports history, and it demonstrates exactly why the product we are watching – and in many instances paying dearly to see – lacks the same allure and competitive drama as its predecessors did. If players are getting together with the idea of dispersing themselves or, in some cases, banding together, then pro basketball has no chance of establishing future rivalries with real teeth. Instead, it will have the feel of a cartel, in which the participants work together for greater financial aid for the whole. The superstar sit-down is a compelling concept, but it is bad for basketball. For the NBA’s sake, let’s hope the outcome doesn’t produce a disaster.
-EH-
Friday, April 30, 2010
Trophies All Around
EL HOMBRE KNOWS SPORTS
It is a sad day indeed when the new mentality of rewarding every single youth sports participant, regardless of talent level or proclivity for chasing butterflies, has made its way onto the college sports agenda, but that’s what happened this week. The news that the already-bloated bowl schedule will swell by another game (by virtue of a two-for-one switch) and perhaps allow teams that have finished the regular season with a 5-7 record is grim indeed.
There is no guarantee that such mediocrity will be celebrated with a trip to the Cialis Bowl, but should the number (now 70) of eligible teams boasting at least a robust 6-6 record lag, then teams that barely win 40% of their games get to spend a week during the holidays in Shreveport, Fort Worth or Bayonne. Why not replicate the practice of most community sports programs and give every player on a I-A team a medal or trophy, the better to boost his self-esteem? In the words of the immortal Vince Lombardi, “What the hell is going on out here?”
You don’t have to be so old to remember when a 10-0-1 Michigan team (yes, chilluns, there was a time when the Wolverines were good) was home for the holidays back in ’73. Or when six wins would lead to a coach’s demise and the promise to fans of bigger things in the future. Today, 10-0-1 brings in about $17 mil, and six triumphs earn a winter vacation and a bag of loot for happy players. Since 1996, the number of bowls has almost doubled, moving from 18 to 35. Meanwhile, the impact of those games, except for the BCS “championship” game, has lessened greatly. Part of it is the old supply-and-demand game. The more of anything there is, the less it is worth, a maxim that has only beer and Victoria’s Secret models as its exception. The rest is that even the most brainwashed fans couldn’t possibly consider a 6-6 season successful, no matter how hard the school, the bowl and its propaganda partners try to convince them otherwise.
So, when news that a 5-7 team or two could slide into the post-season broke, it was installed as a new alternative to syrup of ipecac. But compared to what’s going on in the rest of the NC2A, it’s sort of small potatoes. News came this week that former University of Washington president Mark Emmert had taken over the organization and was charged with sticking it to student-athletes for at least the next five years. While Emmert tries to sidestep his previous declaration that a college football playoff was “inevitable” with doublespeak that would make a Soviet premier envious and continue efforts on academic reform (good luck), he also has some big decisions to make regarding the so-called “minor” sports that take place away from the headlines.
A 2008 study by the NC2A reported that only 17 of the more than 300 Division I athletic programs made a profit between 2004-06. That’s 5.6%. Although that number “swelled” to 25 in 2007-08, according to the NC2A, the vast majority of schools are depending on state and institution cash to keep the balls bouncing. In 2008, 30% of Division I funding came from outside sources. At a time when schools are cutting programs and staff members, the athletic departments are gobbling up much-needed dough.
While it’s too early to know how Emmert plans on dealing with this problem – if he addresses it at all – there are those who worry that the way to handle the shortfall is to limit the smaller sports, rather than forcing some restrictions on football and men’s basketball teams. For instance, some teams could be forced to play tightly regionalized schedules and not travel to championship competitions, the better to keep costs down. Others may have to cut scholarships or program participants.
The same argument rears up every time this topic is raised. It’s from the football/basketball crowd that says so long as their programs are bringing in the big bucks, they should be left alone, even if that means putting up the home team in a hotel the night before a game or running a year-round program. They make the bucks, so they should spend the bucks.
There are two ways to look at that. First, if it’s all about money, and those schools that are profitable should be able to do what they want, then the 28% of I-A schools that were running a deficit, according to a 2006 study, should be shut down. And if any other school starts losing money from football, it must be terminated.
The second is philosophical, and it gets to the root of the raging hypocrisy that has infected college presidents, who hide behind their “concern” for student-athletes when discussing why a college football playoff won’t work (all the while approving a 12th game earlier this decade). If the goal of the university is to educate and serve its entire population, then it must operate that way and make sure every student and athlete is treated similarly. If it wants to operate a giant athletic superpower, that’s fine, too, but don’t try to make us think one of the goals of the Tennessee football program is to prepare its players for life after football. Its goal is to win games, fill Neyland Stadium and make sure the cash register plays “Rocky Top” every second of the day.
The football world is doing a great job taking care of its own. Facilities continue to rise from the ground. Coaches’ salaries are out of control. And teams that lose more than half of their games will soon be celebrating bowl berths. As Emmert takes over in Indianapolis, let’s hope he has an eye on the other people who play college sports.
They deserve trophies, too.
* * *
EL HOMBRE SEZ: Five Majoke League Baseball teams – and the Orioles – have already logged record low attendances for their ballparks this season. Overall, baseball attendance is down two years running. So, what’s an overpaid, drug-enabling commissioner to do? Well, Mr. Sellout, your sport doesn’t have a test yet for HGH. Remember, chicks dig the long ball…Chris Berman re-signed with espn, in the hopes that he might be able to stutter his way through an Olympic hosting gig in 2014. Did you see him stumble around the NFL Draft last weekend? Talk about losing your fastball. This guy makes Jamie Moyer look like Bob Feller…Great job by the Capitals in the NHL playoffs. Choking away a 3-1 series lead to the eight seed and making a guy who finished ninth in goals against average look like Jacques Plante, Ken Dryden and Patrick Roy combined is awful. Nice job, Alex Ovechkin. No Olympic gold. No Stanley Cup playoff win. You’re a real superstar…There’s a rumor out there that Coach Zen might take his Yanni CDs and head to Jersey to coach. It’ll never happen – unless LeBron James intends to sign with the Nets. Ol’ Zen doesn’t do rebuilding projects. He needs at least one Hall of Famer on the roster to consider a job…China has been stripped of a gymnastics medal it won during the Sydney Olympics for using a 14-year old (no one younger than 16 may compete) during the Games. Now, that’s a shocker. Anybody who watched the Chinese team compete in Beijing in 2008 knows the country was falsifying the ages of many competitors. Officials were tipped off when the Chinese gymnasts’ ID cards had “authentic” Chairman Mao signatures on them and also when they saw that the team was sponsored by Dora The Explorer.
* * *
YOU GOT A PROBLEM WITH THAT? Philadelphia media are in quite a lather over whether the Sixers will turn back to Larry Brown to solve their problems. Visions of 2001 dance through their heads, and Mr. Ed no doubt has the same fantasies. While the idea of a Sixers roster that includes 37-year old Theo Ratliff and the joyous reunion of George Lynch and Tyrone Hill is certainly a great tool for the ticket sales staff, it’s not certain those geezers will recreate the magic they did when Brown’s team worked its way through a weak Eastern Conference to the Finals. Brown is just about at the end of his line, and though he led the Bobcats to the playoffs this year, they were dispatched quickly by Orlando and made the post-season only because the East stinks. Brown’s return will no doubt come with the unsavory baggage that he will be picking the players, meaning anybody younger than 30 will be looked at with a jaundiced (and pre-cataract) eye. It also could signal the return of one William King to the ceremonial GM chair, a bad idea if he is Brown’s phone-call man and a nightmare if he actually has authority to make deals. What the Sixers need is new ownership. They need someone to hire a sharp personnel man who will in turn employ a successful coach. This is not the time for re-runs. The Sixers need some fresh ideas, not nostalgia acts.
* * *
AND ANOTHER THING: The NC2A actually did something reasonably correct this week when it announced it would be expanding the men’s basketball tourney to 68 teams, rather than a ridiculous 96, as was originally feared. It’s a good news/bad news/good news situation. The first bit of good news is that the 13th-place Big East team won’t be qualifying for the tournament next year. The bad news is that three more small-conference teams won’t make it to the official start of the Madness, since they’ll likely be playing “pigtail” games in Dayton or Ames earlier in the week and upon losing will be sent home without experiencing the true essence of the tournament. Meanwhile, three other big-time schools who don’t belong in the real post-season (have fun in the CBI, NIT, etc.) will get the chance to dance. But the accompanying report that the CBS/Turner bid to broadcast the event for the next 14 years trumped espn’s best offer means we won’t have to hear Dookie V gabbling throughout the tournament. By the time the new contract expires, he’ll be 85 and will bring new meaning to the term “Diaper Dandy.”
-EH-
It is a sad day indeed when the new mentality of rewarding every single youth sports participant, regardless of talent level or proclivity for chasing butterflies, has made its way onto the college sports agenda, but that’s what happened this week. The news that the already-bloated bowl schedule will swell by another game (by virtue of a two-for-one switch) and perhaps allow teams that have finished the regular season with a 5-7 record is grim indeed.
There is no guarantee that such mediocrity will be celebrated with a trip to the Cialis Bowl, but should the number (now 70) of eligible teams boasting at least a robust 6-6 record lag, then teams that barely win 40% of their games get to spend a week during the holidays in Shreveport, Fort Worth or Bayonne. Why not replicate the practice of most community sports programs and give every player on a I-A team a medal or trophy, the better to boost his self-esteem? In the words of the immortal Vince Lombardi, “What the hell is going on out here?”
You don’t have to be so old to remember when a 10-0-1 Michigan team (yes, chilluns, there was a time when the Wolverines were good) was home for the holidays back in ’73. Or when six wins would lead to a coach’s demise and the promise to fans of bigger things in the future. Today, 10-0-1 brings in about $17 mil, and six triumphs earn a winter vacation and a bag of loot for happy players. Since 1996, the number of bowls has almost doubled, moving from 18 to 35. Meanwhile, the impact of those games, except for the BCS “championship” game, has lessened greatly. Part of it is the old supply-and-demand game. The more of anything there is, the less it is worth, a maxim that has only beer and Victoria’s Secret models as its exception. The rest is that even the most brainwashed fans couldn’t possibly consider a 6-6 season successful, no matter how hard the school, the bowl and its propaganda partners try to convince them otherwise.
So, when news that a 5-7 team or two could slide into the post-season broke, it was installed as a new alternative to syrup of ipecac. But compared to what’s going on in the rest of the NC2A, it’s sort of small potatoes. News came this week that former University of Washington president Mark Emmert had taken over the organization and was charged with sticking it to student-athletes for at least the next five years. While Emmert tries to sidestep his previous declaration that a college football playoff was “inevitable” with doublespeak that would make a Soviet premier envious and continue efforts on academic reform (good luck), he also has some big decisions to make regarding the so-called “minor” sports that take place away from the headlines.
A 2008 study by the NC2A reported that only 17 of the more than 300 Division I athletic programs made a profit between 2004-06. That’s 5.6%. Although that number “swelled” to 25 in 2007-08, according to the NC2A, the vast majority of schools are depending on state and institution cash to keep the balls bouncing. In 2008, 30% of Division I funding came from outside sources. At a time when schools are cutting programs and staff members, the athletic departments are gobbling up much-needed dough.
While it’s too early to know how Emmert plans on dealing with this problem – if he addresses it at all – there are those who worry that the way to handle the shortfall is to limit the smaller sports, rather than forcing some restrictions on football and men’s basketball teams. For instance, some teams could be forced to play tightly regionalized schedules and not travel to championship competitions, the better to keep costs down. Others may have to cut scholarships or program participants.
The same argument rears up every time this topic is raised. It’s from the football/basketball crowd that says so long as their programs are bringing in the big bucks, they should be left alone, even if that means putting up the home team in a hotel the night before a game or running a year-round program. They make the bucks, so they should spend the bucks.
There are two ways to look at that. First, if it’s all about money, and those schools that are profitable should be able to do what they want, then the 28% of I-A schools that were running a deficit, according to a 2006 study, should be shut down. And if any other school starts losing money from football, it must be terminated.
The second is philosophical, and it gets to the root of the raging hypocrisy that has infected college presidents, who hide behind their “concern” for student-athletes when discussing why a college football playoff won’t work (all the while approving a 12th game earlier this decade). If the goal of the university is to educate and serve its entire population, then it must operate that way and make sure every student and athlete is treated similarly. If it wants to operate a giant athletic superpower, that’s fine, too, but don’t try to make us think one of the goals of the Tennessee football program is to prepare its players for life after football. Its goal is to win games, fill Neyland Stadium and make sure the cash register plays “Rocky Top” every second of the day.
The football world is doing a great job taking care of its own. Facilities continue to rise from the ground. Coaches’ salaries are out of control. And teams that lose more than half of their games will soon be celebrating bowl berths. As Emmert takes over in Indianapolis, let’s hope he has an eye on the other people who play college sports.
They deserve trophies, too.
* * *
EL HOMBRE SEZ: Five Majoke League Baseball teams – and the Orioles – have already logged record low attendances for their ballparks this season. Overall, baseball attendance is down two years running. So, what’s an overpaid, drug-enabling commissioner to do? Well, Mr. Sellout, your sport doesn’t have a test yet for HGH. Remember, chicks dig the long ball…Chris Berman re-signed with espn, in the hopes that he might be able to stutter his way through an Olympic hosting gig in 2014. Did you see him stumble around the NFL Draft last weekend? Talk about losing your fastball. This guy makes Jamie Moyer look like Bob Feller…Great job by the Capitals in the NHL playoffs. Choking away a 3-1 series lead to the eight seed and making a guy who finished ninth in goals against average look like Jacques Plante, Ken Dryden and Patrick Roy combined is awful. Nice job, Alex Ovechkin. No Olympic gold. No Stanley Cup playoff win. You’re a real superstar…There’s a rumor out there that Coach Zen might take his Yanni CDs and head to Jersey to coach. It’ll never happen – unless LeBron James intends to sign with the Nets. Ol’ Zen doesn’t do rebuilding projects. He needs at least one Hall of Famer on the roster to consider a job…China has been stripped of a gymnastics medal it won during the Sydney Olympics for using a 14-year old (no one younger than 16 may compete) during the Games. Now, that’s a shocker. Anybody who watched the Chinese team compete in Beijing in 2008 knows the country was falsifying the ages of many competitors. Officials were tipped off when the Chinese gymnasts’ ID cards had “authentic” Chairman Mao signatures on them and also when they saw that the team was sponsored by Dora The Explorer.
* * *
YOU GOT A PROBLEM WITH THAT? Philadelphia media are in quite a lather over whether the Sixers will turn back to Larry Brown to solve their problems. Visions of 2001 dance through their heads, and Mr. Ed no doubt has the same fantasies. While the idea of a Sixers roster that includes 37-year old Theo Ratliff and the joyous reunion of George Lynch and Tyrone Hill is certainly a great tool for the ticket sales staff, it’s not certain those geezers will recreate the magic they did when Brown’s team worked its way through a weak Eastern Conference to the Finals. Brown is just about at the end of his line, and though he led the Bobcats to the playoffs this year, they were dispatched quickly by Orlando and made the post-season only because the East stinks. Brown’s return will no doubt come with the unsavory baggage that he will be picking the players, meaning anybody younger than 30 will be looked at with a jaundiced (and pre-cataract) eye. It also could signal the return of one William King to the ceremonial GM chair, a bad idea if he is Brown’s phone-call man and a nightmare if he actually has authority to make deals. What the Sixers need is new ownership. They need someone to hire a sharp personnel man who will in turn employ a successful coach. This is not the time for re-runs. The Sixers need some fresh ideas, not nostalgia acts.
* * *
AND ANOTHER THING: The NC2A actually did something reasonably correct this week when it announced it would be expanding the men’s basketball tourney to 68 teams, rather than a ridiculous 96, as was originally feared. It’s a good news/bad news/good news situation. The first bit of good news is that the 13th-place Big East team won’t be qualifying for the tournament next year. The bad news is that three more small-conference teams won’t make it to the official start of the Madness, since they’ll likely be playing “pigtail” games in Dayton or Ames earlier in the week and upon losing will be sent home without experiencing the true essence of the tournament. Meanwhile, three other big-time schools who don’t belong in the real post-season (have fun in the CBI, NIT, etc.) will get the chance to dance. But the accompanying report that the CBS/Turner bid to broadcast the event for the next 14 years trumped espn’s best offer means we won’t have to hear Dookie V gabbling throughout the tournament. By the time the new contract expires, he’ll be 85 and will bring new meaning to the term “Diaper Dandy.”
-EH-
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