SUPER BOWL GETS EXACTLY WHAT IT NEEDS

Entering last weekend, the NFL was excited to have its four best teams playing off for the spots in Hoffa Bowl I at Ice Station Zero in Da Swamps. It was hard to argue with the primacy of Denver, New England, Seattle and San Francisco, and the robust TV ratings (the AFC title game tied a 17-year high) proved that the nation was excited by the doubleheader.

But once the Super matchup was set, the league, not to mention its many propaganda partners, might have experienced a letdown, because Denver and Seattle aren’t exactly the kinds of name brands capable of generating enough heat to sustain a two-week build-up to the Big Game. Thank goodness for Richard Sherman and his carefully-packaged brand of in-your-face misbehavior. If not for the Seattle cornerback, we might have had to endure a fortnight of Peyton Manning legacy hand-wringing. Now, we get to howl about Sherman’s antics, a careful recipe of buffoonery, WWE showmanship, hip-hop danger and marketing savvy, with a dash of Clubber Lang thrown in for good measure.

INTERVIEWER: Do you hate Rocky/Michael Crabtree/Colin Kaepernick/Erin Andrews?
CLUB-SHER: No, I don’t hate [insert target here]. I pity the fool, and I will destroy any man [or female sideline reporter] who tries to take what I got!

Be prepared for a healthy dose of psychoanalysis, both of Sherman and his cartoonish outbursts, as well as those who have the temerity to criticize him. Sherman fired the first salvo, courtesy of his MMQB column on Sports Illustrated’s web site, when he explained that his shots at Crabtree after the game stemmed from an altercation last summer. Fair enough, those two men just don’t like each other. But what about the choke sign he flashed at Kaepernick? What is the justification for that? And did he need to froth when Andrews placed a microphone in his face right after the game? At a time when Sherman had a chance to make his best – and in many cases, first – impression on the American sporting public, he chose to board the crazy train.

If that’s how he wanted to behave, then that’s his right. But it is also the right of the public and the media to react negatively. There is no rule that says every bit of behavior must be embraced universally, no matter how many trophies are given out on Little League fields or how much self-esteem is built when kids don’t try their best. Sherman and his apologists hid behind the “he’s a competitor” defense, as if everybody who competes in sports, business or any other arena should be allowed to act in any way he or she wants.

Interviewer: Doctor, can you explain how you were able to remove that tricky tumor without damaging the patient’s brain?
Doctor: Listen up, fool! I am the best brain surgeon that ever lived. Don’t be brining me any sorry-ass tumors. They have no chance against me. Bow down!!!

There are hundreds of football players who must engage in controlled violence every Saturday yet have the self-control to turn down the aggression meter when the final gun sounds. The same goes for those who play other sports. Even boxers, who emerge from 12 rounds of pounding, can dial back the anger to address the media and fans. Sometimes.

Sherman chose to cultivate a personality that is mercurial. Watch his “First Take” performance with Skip Bayless for more evidence. If he expected America to wrap him in its collective arms and throw hosannas and endorsement money at him, he isn’t as smart as he – or his Stanford diploma – says he is. There is emerging in this country an expectation among those who decide to live on the margins of accepted behavior that their departures from the norm must be celebrated. Sherman wasn’t jailed or fined or harmed after his outbursts. But he was criticized. That’s how it is when you court attention. Some people aren’t going to like it. Those who are mature and experienced understand that their calculated risk has some potential downsides and are willing to pay the price to “be who they are”. Others whine and complain when their actions trigger outrage in some corners. Pay the band, Mr. Sherman. That’s how life goes. You want to be outsized, then understand that there will be detractors.

As for those who say that anyone who criticizes him is racist, consider that if we are going to have real equality in this country, then people of all colors, races, religions, genders and any other categories that I might forget must be willing to understand that they aren’t always going to be welcomed, if they act in a way that isn’t pleasing.

That doesn’t, however, spread into racism. Hate speech is the province of the small-minded. Sherman isn’t a thug. He is an aggressive player in a violent game. Anyone who tries to mask their racism with code words like “thug,” should be excoriated.

This is about how Sherman has decided to portray himself, and it will be interesting to see how Sherman proceeds, and how the Fates treat him. He could end up like Fred “The Hammer” Williamson, who mouthed off before Super Bowl I (which was actually the AFL-NFL World Championship Game) and ended up being carted off the field when a Packer laid the hammer down on him. Or, as one advertising executive put it, Sherman could be in line for “$1-3 million” annually in marketing income, should the Seahawks win the Super Bowl. Sherman’s persona, which he has put forth during his time in the league, will be analyzed every way possible during the run-up to the game. What he has to understand is that living large has its downside: everybody sees you. And not everybody has to like you.

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EL HOMBRE SEZ: Fox Sports producer Richie Zyontz says the network cut short Sherman’s post-game rant because “it started getting a little dangerous for us.” How so, Richie? Was it dangerous because an NFL player was about to show even more of his backside to America, something the folks at the NFL HQ on Park Avenue definitely didn’t want to see? Was interviewer Erin Andrews in danger? Was Sherman going to commandeer the microphone and launch into a WWE-style monologue? Here’s a vote for A. Fox was trying to protect its partner and chose to end a great bit of TV in order to spare the NFL a P.R. nightmare. Great journalism, guys…In other hard-hitting TV news, espn led off its overnight SportsCenter Friday with some compelling X Games footage. Granted, the story of the snowmobile rider’s victory after his brother’s tragic death was touching, but there was no other media outlet in the world that saw fit to make that its lead item. It couldn’t have been because ESPN televises, owns and is frankly populated by the only people over 35 on the planet who cares about the X Games, could it? Nahhhh…NFL commissioner Roger Goodell says the league will look into whether it is prudent to allow players to use marijuana medicinally in order to recover and gain some relief from the injuries they sustain while playing the game. Smart move, Rog. In a related story, the Jacksonville Jaguars are thinking of allowing their fans to use hallucinogens while watching games, the better to trick themselves into thinking that their team might actually have won something…Things are really heating up in the NBA Eastern Conference, where five teams are now over .500. Meanwhile, in Milwaukee, the Yucks are nearing mathematical elimination from the playoffs – in 2018…The NHL handed down a 15-day suspension to Vancouver coach John Tortorella after his meltdown between periods of the old-fashioned pier-six between his Canucks and Calgary. Fifteen days without regular-season hockey? Reports from British Columbia have Tortorella skipping in the streets and smiling broadly 24 hours a day…Former North Carolina football player Michael McAdoo reports that academic counselors at the school steered him toward no-show classes while he was there, countering the NC2A claim that athletes shouldn’t be paid because they are receiving a priceless education while battering their bodies for the greater (promotional) glory of old State U. Courses included Waste Management, (Daily) Numbers Theory and Statistics, Probability and The Vig. Neither Provost Corleone nor Dean Soprano could be reached for comment.

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YOU GOT A PROBLEM WITH THAT? Anybody else get the feeling Phillies GM Ruben Amaro is simply messing with the fans? His latest off-season move, a back-to-the-future special with Captain Cool himself, 40-year old Bobby Abreu, is particularly cynical. Sure, it’s just a minor-league deal, but Abreu didn’t play last year, and just because he tore it up in Venezuelan winter ball, there is no reason to have him around. In Abreu’s last three seasons (2010-12) in the majors, he hit .255, 253 and .242 with a total of 31 homers, 11 of which came in the final two years. It’s as if Amaro is trying to complete some kind of aging player motif and can’t stop himself from signing old timers. His other move this week, the Chad Gaudin signing, was equally mystifying. Forget whether he can be the “swing” pitcher Amaro covets. This is a guy who pleaded no contest to a disorderly conduct charge after allegedly groping a woman while in a Las Vegas hospital. That’s a smart move for a team in need of fans. The 2014 season is shaping up as one of the most twisted in franchise history, and things down at the Retirement Home could get truly strange before too long.

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AND ANOTHER THING: As Uncle David Stern prepares to leave his perch as NBA commissioner for a quiet life of making sarcastic comments to friends, rather than reporters, his legacy is unquestioned. Stern built the NBA into a global juggernaut, boosted revenues considerably and presided over tremendous growth in franchise values. He brought us the Dream Team and put the league on the cusp of international expansion. But it’s funny that he is grousing about the rampant tanking going on throughout the NBA by its lesser teams, not mention the nightly gutless displays by CarMElo and the Knicks. Since Stern created the superstar-heavy promotional strategy that thrived during the past three decades, why would he be surprised that teams are fleeing from the idea of building a unit capable of winning and losing in order to draft big names they can market? CarMElo is a perfect example of this. A talented player with porcine tendencies, he has never won anything. Yet, the NBA celebrates him as a superstar, despite his petulant behavior and lack of winning pedigree. The Knicks, who are still celebrating their 1973 world championship, are the most valuable franchise in the league. So, why would other teams try to accumulate winners at the expense of big names? The league and its propaganda partners don’t glorify teams like Indiana and Portland, because they don’t have big names. Stern should be praised for his work as commissioner, and he is on the medal stand – at least – for tops in the commissioner field in all sports over the past 50 years. However, the tanking trend is his own creation, and he needs to take ownership of it.

-EH-