TIME TO SHUT DOWN THE SAUSAGE FACTORY

            By this point, it shouldn’t be a surprise to anyone that colleges and universities across the country will do just about anything to preserve their athletic departments and the sports that provide financial support for them. Penn State lined up behind Joe Paterno after he enabled Jerry Sandusky to abuse and molest countless young boys. Michigan State let Larry Nassar terrorize scores of girls. And most recently, Ohio State kept Pope Urban VI on the payroll even after it was evident that he bore false witness, obfuscated and destroyed evidence in attempts to cover up the fact that he knowingly kept a spouse abuser on his staff.

            If that can all go on, then nobody should be surprised that the Board of Regents at Maryland didn’t fire D.J. Durkin despite a report that painted him as unable to exercise the necessary leadership and oversight for the Terrapin football program, a deficit that led to the death of Jordan McNair over the summer. After a ridiculously long period of “investigation”, the best the school could do was issue a mea culpa for not providing enough support for Durkin, as if he were some rube brought in to take over the program against his will and with no prior experience on a college coaching staff.

            The Board’s decision to keep Durkin as coach was preposterous and clearly demonstrated the university’s unwillingness to sacrifice some football prosperity – Maryland enters Saturday’s game against Michigan State 5-3, with its only impressive win coming over Texas back on Sept. 1 – to do the right thing for McNair’s family and its students. It took school president Wallace Loh, after meeting with campus leaders and absorbing the scathing criticism from political leaders and media outlets, to do the right thing and send Durkin away.

            This was a classic lack of leadership by the regents, who now have no credibility whatsoever and can’t possibly govern the school with any legitimate authority moving forward. Their mistake was a dagger to the heart of the McNair family and a tone-deaf attempt to preserve the football program at the expense of a young man who had been maltreated during conditioning and whose care post-collapse was amateurish at best and horribly negligent at worst. Compounding the disrespect was the Board’s decision not to fire members of the training staff who were responsible for the shoddy medical work.

            Thursday night, Board chair James Brady announced his resignation, bringing a sliver of honor to a body that had none. He cited his presence’s being a detriment to the forward progress of the university.         

            What a perceptive guy.

            The bigger issue here is not whether Maryland will continue to attract applications, fill its basketball arena and keep challenging for mediocre bowl berths. Like the Sandusky tragedy, during which the victims were often overlooked in PSU’s desire to preserve its institution and football reputation, the victim here is Jordan McNair, his family, friends and teammates. It’s not Durkin. It’s not the institution. McNair is gone, and as Maryland tries to figure out its next steps, people must remember what happened and hold the school and every other institution of higher learning to a far higher standard than we have in the past.

            It’s fashionable to refer to college sports as “a sausage factory”, in an attempt to excuse behind-the-scenes dealings while we enjoy the finished product. That can happen no more, and the four instances described here are the primary exhibits why.

            (We can also include the death of the Notre Dame student manager who was sent 60 feet into the air to videotape football practice during a storm. ND fought to avoid any release of documents relevant to the irresponsible decision and received little criticism in the wake of the tragedy.)

            Every school in the country, and particularly those who are using big-time athletics to burnish their reputations, promote their institutions and boost fundraising efforts, must establish protocols to insure there is never another episode like McNair’s death. They must hire administrators and coaches who truly care about players, rather than bottom lines or wins and losses – and do the same things themselves. It’s great fun to be associated with a successful program, but it’s even better for the college if those participating in the games have good experiences. There can be no other way.

            Durkin and his staff failed McNair and his family. They cared little for the young man’s condition and that led to his death. That cannot be disputed. Their actions showed their true feelings. That the Board decided Durkin should stay on shows how completely skewed the approach to college athletics has become – at Maryland and on a greater scale. Which set of administrators has the courage to change things? Who will declare an end to the insanity? Let’s hope those people step forward quickly, before another “hard-charging” coach produces the next catastrophe.

* * *

            EL HOMBRE SEZ: Coach Squints’ oakLLLLLLLand raiders team sure looks like a nuclear waste facility. Yet, old Squints is talking about building championships and how many players want to come play for him. The franchise’s pending move to Vegas could be one of the worst bets ever made in the city…As much fun as it is to watch the Rams’ offense, New Orleans’ new commitment to defense and Kansas City’s wide-open attack, El Hombre is beginning to get that New England will win Super Bowl LIII. Captain Hoodie and his minions have figured things out and will continue their roll Sunday night against the Packers…Despite the best efforts of the NBA’s propaganda partners to convince us the Lakers are a team worth watching, the early returns on LeBron’s redshirt season aren’t pretty. L.A. is 3-5 and looks ordinary. Worse, the team isn’t that entertaining. If you are looking for something different, check out Denver, the Bucks and Toronto, who won’t get much love from the promotional folks but who play fun ball…R.I.P. Stretch McCovey…R.I.P. Paul “Dr. Z” Zimmerman…R.I.P. Frank Litsky.

* * *

            YOU GOT A PROBLEM WITH THAT? The Birds followed up their epic choke job against the Panthers with a must-win over Jacksonville, raising their record to 4-4 and showing the good citizens of London what they might expect should Jags owner Shahid Khan consent to let the NFL move his team there. Tuesday, the Eagles rented wideout Golden Tate for the remainder of the season in return for a third-round draft pick, a solid move for an “all-in” franchise. The only problem is that thanks to the loss to Carolina and a previous Heimlich-necessary performance against the Titans, it’s unlikely the Eagles will be getting a first-round bye or homefield advantage beyond the opening weekend of the playoffs – provided they can win the NFC East. Tate might help the offense, which isn’t scoring like it did last year, but the real progress this team needs is on D, where the front four still isn’t getting enough pressure without blitz help, and the secondary continues to flounder at times. Injuries have been a factor, for sure, but this team just doesn’t have the same spark it did last season.

* * *

            AND ANOTHER THING: If that wasn’t the most boring post-season in MLB history, it is certainly close to the top of the list. The World Series was drab, and even the seventh game of the NLCS seemed like a mid-June matchup. El Hombre had a chance to speak with former pitcher Rick Sutcliffe last week, and even he says the game is getting boring for a lot of people. Strikeouts outpace hits. The shifts are robbing hitters of chances to get on base. And fire-breathing bullpens make comebacks almost impossible. Sutcliffe’s solution? Lower the mound. They did it after the historically futile 1968 season, and it may be time to do it again. In fact, he says he’ll be surprised if it isn’t mandated before the 2019 season. And, remember, this is a pitcher talking. While the NBA cashes in on drama, and the NFL continues to dominate the sporting landscape, baseball’s fan base is graying, and the sport is offering precious little for young viewers. The 2018 TV ratings were the third lowest ever, and the only reason they weren’t the worst was that Boston and L.A. have big brand names. Something better be done before the MLB starts really bleeding.

-EH-

NBA ACTION IS FANTASTIC -- AND MORE LIKE A REALITY SHOW THAN EVER

            With his cleanly-shorn bullet head and professorial – though certainly genial – countenance, Adam Silver hardly looks like a man capable of presiding over a professional sports league that has more in common with the “Real Housewives” franchise than it does with, say, the NFL.

            But during his tenure as NBA commissioner, Silver – along with behaving far less smugly than former boss Uncle David Stern – has accomplished the admirable feat of building on the sport’s roots of celebrating its players’ personalities and creating a year-long chaos built on its biggest stars’ free-agent dalliances, intra-squad and inter-league beefs, an orgy of highlights and superteam constructs that have transformed the NBA from a winter/spring pastime into a phenomenon that has captivated a highly-desirable advertising demographic.

            As it enters the 2018-19 season, the Association, as the hip hoophead cognoscenti call it, has created a business model that has other leagues quite envious. Instead of focusing on the competition, which gets less compelling each season, thanks to the astounding disparity between the league’s one-percenters and its great unwashed, the NBA concentrates almost entirely on personality and spectacle. It has advanced to the point where game reports by propaganda partners center exclusively on the individual achievement, rather than final score. If The Unibrow happens to go for 36, 15 and nine, nobody cares whether his team lost by 20. It’s all about him, and therefore the NBA is all about the highlight.

            It’s genius, really. At a time when the 25-to-42 crowd cares less about who won the game than who won the social media post, the NBA is serving up 365 days of on and off-court fodder suitable for liking, retweeting and sharing. Nobody cares about the standings, particularly if they have the misfortune of rooting for the Magic or Kings. Instead, they want to know who got posterized, which star will team with LeBron in L.A. next season and whether Jimmy Butler actually beat up on the T-wolves’ starters with three custodians and the team chaplain. It’s the perfect approach to the sporting world at a time when people sneer at substance, and the entire country has been Kardashianized.

            With that in mind, El Hombre presents his gala NBA preview.

            We Try Harder: The sharpies in Vegas (and everywhere else) are so convinced Golden State will win it all again that they don’t want to lay any money at all on the NBA champion’s identity. Go ahead and throw 100 bucks on the Sixers at 14:1. You might as well invest in that seltzer company that has cockroach insecticide in it. With so many people convinced the Warriors will take the trophy, espn will have to work like crazy to make the regular season seem exciting by overpromoting rookies, saturating the airwaves with ordinary dunks and generally manufacture enough drama to make folks forget that the season’s outcome has already been determined.

            Boogie Man: We may not see DeMarcus Cousins suit up in a game for the Warriors until the playoffs, although it would behoove Golden State to spend some time blending the talented – but troubled – center into the rotation during the regular season. One can only imagine Dubs coach Steve Kerr’s sounding a loud horn every time Cousins acts up during practice and reminding him that the franchise could ship his backside to Brooklyn or some other NBA outpost if he doesn’t behave. If he does…look out! Golden State could well go undefeated during the post-season.

            Redshirt Season: LeBron James is going to play this season – and play a lot of minutes. But since the Lakers have zero chance of winning the 2019 NBA title, James will no doubt throttle back the engines a bit and wait until next year, when Random Superstar Sidekick decides to take $38 million per to join James in a quest to knock off Golden State. Meanwhile, we can all enjoy the crazy show that will unfold in L.A. as wild cards Rajon Rondo, Lance Stephenson, JaVale McGee and Michael Beasley join LBJ and the Kids in one of the most unusual roster aggregations in recent NBA history.

            (L)Eastern Conference: The NBA’s junior circuit should be fun, so long as “fun” is defined as watching six of the league’s nine worst teams bumbling across the court every night. It’s too bad Boston, Toronto and Philadelphia can’t just play a season-long round robin so that we can avoid anything involving the Hawks, Knicks, Nets or Magic. Chicago and Cleveland don’t look too good, either. And the only reason Detroit, Charlotte and Miami are likely to reach the playoffs is that the league mandates that eight teams from each conference qualify. Sure, Giannis Antetokounmpo will be fun to watch, and Victor Oladipo is pretty darn good, too. But at least two Western teams that could be five seeds in the East won’t make the post-season.

            Whither the Spurs? Everybody’s favorite curmudgeon and Soviet history buff, Gregg Popovich, is back in San Antonio – and is also the new leader of the USA Basketball on-court effort – but he doesn’t have Kawhi Leonard, Tony Parker or Manu Ginobili. Oh, and projected starting point guard Dejounte Murray tore his ACL during the pre-season. Pau Gasol isn’t close to what he was. LaMarcus Aldridge is a third option on a good team, and DeMar DeRozan has to be wondering where it all went wrong. Looks like the most interesting thing about the Spurs this season will be whether Popovich gets even crankier during in-game interviews. 

            Summer Love: It will all lead up to this: Who goes where in free agency or blockbuster trades next summer. That is what the NBA has become – a great bit of reality-show theater during the off-season that is infinitely more interesting than 95% of the games during the regular and post-seasons. NBA fans will be heard asking throughout the coming months, “Is it July 1 yet?”

            And Do Not Forget: TNT analyst Jeff Van Gundy said it well during the New Orleans-Houston game Wednesday night. While discussing point man Elfrid Payton, who joined the Pelicans during the off-season, Van Gundy said, “We have to see if he can win.” The reference was to Payton’s previous four season, which were spent with (mostly) Orlando and Phoenix, two of the league’s worst teams. The NBA is packed with guys who can put up numbers, but only a small percentage of them can play winning basketball. Avoid the hype of those who want to make the league look exciting and focus on people who do things to make teams successful, rather than boosting their statistics. There is a huge difference.

            The Picks: Your division winners: Boston, Milwaukee, Charlotte, Oklahoma City, Golden State, Houston. The conference finals: Boston over Tronno; Golden State over OK City. Finals: Golden State over Boston…in six.

* * *

            EL HOMBRE SEZ: A moment of silence, please, for Paul Allen, who died Oct. 15. Allen changed our world forever when he co-founded Microsoft with childhood pal Bill Gates and was a model pro franchise owner. It is a tribute to his low-key approach to his roles with the NFL Seahawks and NBA Trailblazers that few people knew he held the paper on the teams. Allen stayed out of the way and let the professionals do their jobs, a philosophy other owners should embrace…While the NFL is pushing video-game offense, and the NBA is promoting its stars, Majoke League Baseball is torturing fans with 4-hour, 33-minute post-season games that end after 1 a.m. Eastern. This is no way to promote your sport, people. While commissioner Rob Manfred contemplates the idea of ruining the National League by instituting the DH there, the sport gets less and less watchable. Clueless…Anybody who criticizes Ohio State defensive end Nick Bosa for surrendering the rest of his college season to prepare for the NFL Draft is an idiot. Bosa sustained a severe core muscle tear earlier this season, and though it has been repaired, he would be threatening his number-one-pick status if he plays. Bosa has made a business decision, and just about anybody else in his position would have done the same thing. If he were to get hurt, he could cost himself millions. And lest you are tempted to bust out the “he owes Ohio State” argument, shut your trap. He doesn’t owe the Buckeyes anything. He helped them win – and profit. It’s time for him to do the same thing.

* * *

            YOU GOT A PROBLEM WITH THAT? The Eagles earned a much-needed win over the fetid Giants and Eli Waning last week, and that stopped the fan base from sinking into the kind of depression reserved recently for Phillies GM Matt Klentanalytics’ personnel decisions. (Hey, why not add a couple years to Carlos Santana’s contract, Matt?) But anybody who thinks the Super Bowl Express is loading up on Platform B is delusional. Injuries in the secondary make the Birds particularly vulnerable at a time when the league is pushing points the way Nino Brown and the CMB slung crack in NYC during the ‘90s. Even if Jason Peters can play through his torn biceps, he is still struggling, along with other members of the O-line. (El Hombre is talking to you, Isaac Seumalo.) The Eagles lack playmakers and are having trouble getting pressure on the QB with their front four, something that contributed mightily to last year’s Super win. With games against Carolina and Jacksonville – neither of which looked great last week – looming, it’s time to build momentum and improve a number of areas.

* * *

            AND ANOTHER THING: You have to love the recent comments of Mike Krzyzewski, head coach of Durham CC, about the ongoing trial that is revealing some of the seedier facts about college basketball’s already-slimy recruiting business. Krzyzewski said that the revelations were just “a blip” and didn’t really matter. Perhaps he’s right. Maybe what we are learning is just a refresher course, because the college sports world is such a cesspool that we shouldn’t be surprised if a school gave the Taj Mahal to a five-star recruit. Then again, this could be just the latest example in a long line that the man who once excoriated John Calipari for recruiting players who wouldn’t be on campus more than nine or 10 months and then gathered as many of them as he could himself is the most sanctimonious and arrogant person in the sport. The way to fix it all: Eliminate “live” recruiting periods during spring and summer months. College coaches may only connect with their high school counterparts – during the season. That might rid the game of some of the shoe bandits, AAU hustlers, crazy uncles, agent runners and other unsavory characters that populate the recruiting universe.

-EH-   

EVERYBODY'S FAVORITE MONTH

            Ah, October. The Christmas-industrial complex would like you to think December is the most wonderful time of the year. And the office supply companies make a good point – for parents of young children, at least – that late August/early September holds that distinction. But sports fans know the real story. It’s October. Forget Halloween. How about all four major sports – and soccer – playing at the same time? Throw in college football, and you have a cornucopia that would make a Thanksgiving table blush.

            But as great as it is to have basketball and hockey starting, and everybody knows fall Sundays (and Mondays and Thursdays, for that matter) are nothing without the NFL, the real magic of the 10^th month of the calendar comes on the diamond, when after 162 games (163 this year), we finally get to watch baseball that really means something. We spend six months complaining about shifts and four-hour games and pitch counts and A-Rod, and then we get the Real Thing.

            Anybody who has spent one inning watching a favorite team engaged in playoff baseball, or better yet World Series action, knows just how compelling it can be. The drama of practically every pitch and the growing excitement of each ensuing inning are as delicious as sports can get. It no longer matters whether the game takes two hours or five, so long as your heart can handle the excitement.

            When those Philadelphia Phillies were on their five year run earlier this century, El Hombre basked in the anticipation of every game, thrilled to the contests themselves and then relished the opportunity to recount the result, no matter if it was a thrilling victory or a crushing defeat. Watching games that matter in the cold, the rain or whatever – rather than those bone-stabbing April meteorological catastrophes – with everything on the line, is as delicious as sports get.

            Sure, baseball has its problems. There are way too many strikeouts. A parade of relief pitchers means the late innings of games have become arduous exercises for fans. The ever-growing analytics craze has turned baseball from a pastime into a math bee. And the Orioles were allowed to play 162 games this year.

            All is forgiven once the post-season rolls around. Even the crankiest fans (shaddup!) don’t moan about long games, particularly if they are taut contests. Seeing red-white-and-blue bunting throughout stadiums conjures images of days of yore, when baseball players had nicknames like The Splendid Splinter and The Iron Horse.

            Lest El Hombre be accused of rank sentimentality, allow him to celebrate the fact that the Yankees and Red Sawx will square off in an ALDS series beginning Friday, and that means one of them will be eliminated before the LCS round. This is a very good thing, simply because it removes one of the most obnoxious fan bases in all of sports from the post-season reasonably early.

            Meanwhile: Here is how the post-season will break down, now that we have dispensed with the one-game elimination nonsense:

            NLDS: Dodgers over Braves; Brewers over Rockies. This is L.A.’s sixth straight division title, so there is no shortage of post-season experience on the roster. And while Atlanta has had a remarkable season and laid a terrific foundation for the future, the youngsters just won’t be able to get it done. Milwaukee gets the nod because of its outstanding bullpen and improved defense. Oh, yeah. That Christian Yelich character is pretty good, too. (P.S. This was written on Thursday, early afternoon. Really.)

            ALDS: Red Sox over Yankees; Astros over Indians. Talk about two good series. The Boston-New York set-to could be a classic, as both teams try to score 10 a game. The edge for Boston comes in the starting pitching, although it’s entirely possible either David Price or Rick Porcello (or both) could implode. Cleveland has spent the past 150 games trying to get its rotation set for the playoffs, thanks to the other members of the AL Central’s overall fetid play. But even though the Tribe hasn’t been tested, it will be a formidable foe for the defending champs. But Houston has too much, especially in a five-game series, to be bumped off.

            NLCS: Brewers over Dodgers. That’s right, folks. Bernie the Brewer will be hitting the Splash Zone frequently in what should be a fascinating series. The Dodgers have plenty of power, but Milwaukee has a lot of everything, including hirsute lights-out closer Josh Hader, he of the microscopic WHIP and obscene 15.8 strikeouts/nine innings.

            ALCS: Red Sox over Astros. Last year, Houston earned the win over Boston, but that changes this year, thanks to those potent Carmine Hose bats. It’s tough to knock off the titleholders, but the BoSox have had a remarkable season, and the fun continues, even if Justin Verlander pitches three times for the south Texans.

            World Series: Red Sox over Brewers. The Milwaukee franchise – which started in Seattle as the Pilots, by the way – has never won a world title in its 49 previous seasons, and it won’t at the half-century mark, either. This is the year for the Red Sox, and despite Yelich, Hader and the rest of the Crew, they won’t have enough to derail the close to an historic season. Get ready for more chowdery celebrations. Ugh.

* * *

            EL HOMBRE SEZ: That was quite a strong showing by the U.S. in the Ryder Cup last weekend. Let’s recount the fun: Patrick Reed was steamed at captain Jim Furyk for not pairing him with his pal Jordan Spieth. Brooks Koepka and Dustin Johnson decided to go all big-time wrestling on each other at a party. And Phil Mickelson and Eldrick Woods weren’t exactly sur le feu during the proceedings in Paris. Way to represent, fellas…The NHL is underway, and the biggest early-season storyline will be whether the ice will melt in arenas around the country as temps outdoors in a lot of places hit 80 degrees and above. Oh, yeah, there will be some skating, hitting and lost teeth. It will all add up to the NHL’s dream: a Stanley Cup finals series between Winnipeg and Tampa Bay. Predicted TV ratings outside of the two cities? Think John Blutarsky’s grade-point average…New York J-E-T-S running back Isaiah Crowell feigned wiping his bottom with the football after scoring a TD against Cleveland in a Thursday night game. Instead of his filthy display’s drawing outrage, it has brought an endorsement deal from something called Dude Wipes, a “toilet paper substitute for men”. In the old days, that was either leaves or newspaper. This could start quite a trend in the NFL. For instance, Seahawks’ safety Earl Thomas’ one-fingered salute after his injury last Sunday could land him a commercial opportunities with a company making foam fingers. And the Cardinals could get some extra dough promoting toxic waste, which resembles their play this year.

* * *

            THE WORLD-WIDE DECEIVER: It’s too early to pass definitive judgment on espn’s new Monday Night Football crew, but a few things stand out about “Tess”, “Boog” and “Witt”, like say the fact that they all call each other stupid nicknames. Then there is play-by-play man Joe Tessitore’s breathless description of every single play. By shouting each time the ball is snapped, “Tess” has inured us to his enthusiasm, so that if something really exciting happens, we won’t be able to discern it from a routine, first-quarter, two-yard gain on second-and-nine. We get that espn must promote the league, but there is no reason to create a bombastic soundtrack. He should just stick to the basics, like following the network’s edict to convince everyone Patrick Mahomes is better than Tom Brady.

* * *

            YOU GOT A PROBLEM WITH THAT? It’s way too early for Eagles fans to start worrying about whether their beloved team will be able to make a serious run at another Super Bowl – or even make the playoffs – but Sunday’s belly-flop against Tennessee wasn’t confidence-inspiring. The defensive backfield was fricasseed by a pass offense that hadn’t exactly been tearing up, and the offensive line protected QB Carson Wentz as if he were made of granite, instead of coming off a serious knee injury. The buzzword this week about the team is “urgency”, especially with the Vikings coming to town after a shootout loss in L.A. A 2-2 record is hardly reason for panic, but the narrative surrounding the team’s pass defense is not good, especially since it has made Ryan Fitzpatrick and Marcus Mariota look like Joe Montana and Johnny Unitas this season. And let’s not forget that the win over Indy wasn’t exactly overwhelming. The Eagles must get better in a couple important areas, or they will be sitting home in January, and last year’s championship glow will have faded considerably. Nothing is guaranteed. Just ask Seattle.

* * *

            AND ANOTHER THING: El Hombre is shocked – shocked! – to learn that college basketball recruits were being paid to attend specific schools and that said institutions of higher learning may have actually known about the stipends. What’s next, someone is going to say that jai alai is fixed? The hand-wringing over the evidence that is certain to emerge during the trial of Jim Gatto will be great theater, but let’s face it, folks, big-time NC2A basketball is a filthy cesspool that features more unsavory characters than an Elmore Leonard novel. (At least those folks are somewhat charming.) Street agents, greedy AAU coaches, crazy uncles, shoe company representatives and everybody short of the Hell’s Angels is trying to get some of the action. Anybody who is surprised by what is revealed in the coming months ought to stick to watching “Andy Griffith Show” reruns or at least turn to something else that is more wholesome, like politics.

-EH-

PLAYS OF WINE AND ROSES

EL HOMBRE KNOWS SPORTS

            Over the past couple years, the NFL – with significant help from its propaganda partners – has tried to create new stars that fans will clamor to see live and on their gigantic flat screens. Every new draft class brings a collection of guaranteed future stars, who are subsequently promoted and hype until they reveal themselves as ordinary football players. After that, the machine takes a rest and recalibrates to glorify another crop of newcomers, each of whom is destined for the same fate.       

            El Hombre even has a term for it: The Peyton Manning Effect. Ever since old Number 18 headed off into a life of retirement and insurance commercials, the NFL has lacked a lead dog capable of attracting eyes every time he yells “Omaha!” Sure, Dreamy Tom is an A-lister, but so many people despise him and Captain Hoodie that it’s hard to make him the league’s face. Aaron Rodgers has done a pretty good job with the star thing, and he even has his own TV commercial. But he’s no Peyton. So, who’s left? Cam Newton? Too unpredictable. Big Ben? Too boring. Eli? Come on.

            The league has a decided lack of star power these days. Even the wideouts, who were once divas worthy of constant attention, have lost their glitter. Quick, who led the NFL in receptions last year? Jarvis Landry (112). Yawn. Who had the most receiving TDs? DeAndre Hopkins (13). Snooz. Sure, OBJ is still out there doing wild stuff, but compared to Me-O. and Chad OchoCrazy, he’s tame.

            So, when three of the league’s top QBs – Rodgers, Deshaun Watson and Carson Wentz – went down last year with serious injuries, the NFL became concerned. Having low star wattage is bad enough. Losing some twinkle to injury is worse. Rodgers’ broken collarbone was most disconcerting, because it came when Vikings linebacker Anthony Barr slammed him to the turf with as much force as he could summon. It was a clean football play, but it sure woke them up on Park Avenue.

            During the off-season, the folks in power decided it was imperative to protect the only players in the league with a chance to light up the marquee: the quarterbacks. So, they drafted new guidelines regarding hitting the fellas under center and hoped everything would be all right. Three weeks into the season, they sure aren’t.    

            The spate of roughing-the-passer penalties has upset fans and media alike. Memes have sprouted showing the “proper” way to sack a quarterback and usually include things like moonlight, roses and champagne. Meanwhile, the league has stood firmly in the face of the criticism, and commissioner-in-exile Roger Goodfornothing has remained in the witless protection program. It’s not hard to understand the NFL’s reasoning. It didn’t want to lose any more QBs, not with criticism coming from all sides and 2017 TV ratings for Sunday, Monday and Thursday Night Football on the slide.

            Although team revenues are up, and franchise values continue to grow, the sport is losing some of its status as the undisputed heavyweight sporting champion. Fans are fickle, and despite their deep love of football and desire to remain isolated from their families every Sunday, their attention can indeed be diverted, especially when Peyton isn’t around to throw a few TD passes at 4 p.m. Eastern each week. The new sack rule isn’t about the quarterback’s well-being as much as it is the NFL’s attempt to preserve its popularity by keeping upright those who play the most important position in all of sports. Let the running backs and offensive linemen tear their bodies to shreds, but by all means protect the guy who passes the ball.

            It’s not a foolproof plan, because sometimes QBs do foolish things. San Francisco’s Jimmy Garoppolo could have avoided an ACL tear by running out of bounds. And Buffalo’s Josh Allen didn’t have to hurdle a Vikings player last week. (Fortunately for the Bills, he escaped injury.) But the NFL is trying to control what it can control.

            The amusing thing is that after years of people’s complaining that the violence in the league is causing players to suffer from CTE and other crippling conditions down the road, many of the same folks are clamoring for big collisions again.

            Meanwhile, don’t expect the NFL to change things this year. It is happy to protect its most valued assets, no matter how vociferous the criticism becomes. There might be some tweaks to the rule during the off-season, but for now, expect to see more flags. And when one flies during a key playoff moment, there could be rioting.

            It might be so loud that Goodfornothing will hear it on the 13^th green at Pine Valley.

* * *

            EL HOMBRE SEZ: Because the Tigers finish their season with a series in Milwaukee, Detroit fans won’t have another opportunity this year to sidle up to the Comerica Park concession stand of their choice and order a pizza with pepperoni and extra loogie. What a heartwarming story of a kitchen worker found to have been spitting on the people’s food…People are making fun of Kawhi Leonard’s odd laugh during his media day press availability, but they should definitely give the newest Raptor star a break. He’s in Canada, for crying out loud. It’s already ice-fishing season up there…Minnesota guard Jimmy Butler, apparently tired of playing 49 minutes a night for Tom Thibodeau, wants a trade, and most of the NBA is lining up to get him. Caveat emptor, folks. Butler has health problems (knee) and is a free agent who will want to put up big numbers this year. Let’s hope the league GMs realize that the goal is to win games, not just pile up fantasy points…The Ryder Cup is in Paris this weekend for Europe’s biennial chance to prove that it is better than the United States in something besides history. It’s a great atmosphere, and the French fans have promised not to surrender unless the U.S. gets a four-point lead.

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            YOU GOT A PROBLEM WITH THAT? Loyal El Hombre readers (both of you) remember that a little more than a month ago EH informed you that the Phillies season was over. Kaput. El Hombre loves it when El Hombre is correct. Anyway, as the off-season beckons, it is instructive to remember that the Philadelphia area had four-plus months of competitive baseball to enjoy but also plenty of questions ahead. As GM Matt Klentanalytics and owner John “All In” Middleton try to decide how much cash to throw at Manny Machado and/or Bryce Hairdo, Skipper Gabe will spend the off-season gushing about how well his guys “presented” throughout the year and figuring out new, inventive ways to flabbergast baseball fans. If you thought pinch-hitting for Scott Kingery in the second inning was wild, just wait until Skipper Gabe institutes Opposite Day, when every member of the lineup has to throw with his off hand. That ought keep the other guys guessing. Skipper Gabe’s biggest problem is that he never demonstrated any overt frustration with his team, even when players like Planet Odubel Herrera piled up the bonehead errors. Sure, Philadelphia fans have softened over the past several years, as much due to the Processheads who didn’t mind watching minor league basketball for four years as anything else, but they still demand some reality when their team plays poorly. Skipper Gabe just wouldn’t do that, so he was unable to connect with the fan base. He’ll continue to do the same thing next year, but unless he has better players at his disposal – and a lot of them – he will be back to his maddening ways. Of course, if Hairdo and Machado are slugging 40 homers each, it won’t matter how he or anybody else presents, because the Phils will be a playoff team.

            P.S. The best description of the Flyers’ new shaggy mascot “Gritty” that El Hombre saw is that he is Phillie Phanatic’s Delco cousin. Priceless.

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            AND ANOTHER THING: Now that Kelly Bryant has learned that Clemson coach Dabo Swinney prefers freshman Trevor Lawrence at quarterback instead of him, he has decided to head elsewhere to finish his career. Some have said Bryant doesn’t want to compete with Lawrence, which is preposterous, since he has been doing just that since the 2018 version of Ronnie “Sunshine” Bass arrived on campus in January. Swinney isn’t going to play two QBs, and Lawrence is clearly a big talent, so Bryant wants to go somewhere where he can start. Thanks to the NC2A’s new redshirt rule, since Bryant has only played four games, he won’t have to sit out next year before taking the field. Of course, Alabama coach Nick Saban wasn’t too happy about this, saying that it could become a “slippery slope”. Sure, Nick, it’s a bad scene all right. College athletes don’t get shares of the millions that come in to schools thanks to their efforts and aren’t allowed to leave for another opportunity without sitting out a season. Meanwhile, coaches can jump from job-to-job (and higher-payday-to-higher-payday) without any penalty. Bryant has every right to find a better situation for himself, and if life becomes a little slippery for Saban and his chums because of that, it’s – in the words of El Padre – too damn bad.

-EH-