EL
HOMBRE KNOWS SPORTS
Over
the past couple years, the NFL – with significant help from its propaganda
partners – has tried to create new stars that fans will clamor to see live and
on their gigantic flat screens. Every new draft class brings a collection of
guaranteed future stars, who are subsequently promoted and hype until they
reveal themselves as ordinary football players. After that, the machine takes a
rest and recalibrates to glorify another crop of newcomers, each of whom is
destined for the same fate.
El
Hombre even has a term for it: The Peyton Manning Effect. Ever since old Number
18 headed off into a life of retirement and insurance commercials, the NFL has
lacked a lead dog capable of attracting eyes every time he yells “Omaha!” Sure,
Dreamy Tom is an A-lister, but so many people despise him and Captain Hoodie
that it’s hard to make him the league’s face. Aaron Rodgers has done a pretty
good job with the star thing, and he even has his own TV commercial. But he’s
no Peyton. So, who’s left? Cam Newton? Too unpredictable. Big Ben? Too boring.
Eli? Come on.
The
league has a decided lack of star power these days. Even the wideouts, who were
once divas worthy of constant attention, have lost their glitter. Quick, who
led the NFL in receptions last year? Jarvis Landry (112). Yawn. Who had the
most receiving TDs? DeAndre Hopkins (13). Snooz. Sure, OBJ is still out there
doing wild stuff, but compared to Me-O. and Chad OchoCrazy, he’s tame.
So,
when three of the league’s top QBs – Rodgers, Deshaun Watson and Carson Wentz –
went down last year with serious injuries, the NFL became concerned. Having low
star wattage is bad enough. Losing some twinkle to injury is worse. Rodgers’
broken collarbone was most disconcerting, because it came when Vikings
linebacker Anthony Barr slammed him to the turf with as much force as he could
summon. It was a clean football play, but it sure woke them up on Park Avenue.
During
the off-season, the folks in power decided it was imperative to protect the
only players in the league with a chance to light up the marquee: the
quarterbacks. So, they drafted new guidelines regarding hitting the fellas
under center and hoped everything would be all right. Three weeks into the
season, they sure aren’t.
The
spate of roughing-the-passer penalties has upset fans and media alike. Memes
have sprouted showing the “proper” way to sack a quarterback and usually
include things like moonlight, roses and champagne. Meanwhile, the league has
stood firmly in the face of the criticism, and commissioner-in-exile Roger
Goodfornothing has remained in the witless protection program. It’s not hard to
understand the NFL’s reasoning. It didn’t want to lose any more QBs, not with
criticism coming from all sides and 2017 TV ratings for Sunday, Monday and
Thursday Night Football on the slide.
Although
team revenues are up, and franchise values continue to grow, the sport is
losing some of its status as the undisputed heavyweight sporting champion. Fans
are fickle, and despite their deep love of football and desire to remain
isolated from their families every Sunday, their attention can indeed be
diverted, especially when Peyton isn’t around to throw a few TD passes at 4
p.m. Eastern each week. The new sack rule isn’t about the quarterback’s
well-being as much as it is the NFL’s attempt to preserve its popularity by keeping
upright those who play the most important position in all of sports. Let the
running backs and offensive linemen tear their bodies to shreds, but by all
means protect the guy who passes the ball.
It’s
not a foolproof plan, because sometimes QBs do foolish things. San Francisco’s
Jimmy Garoppolo could have avoided an ACL tear by running out of bounds. And
Buffalo’s Josh Allen didn’t have to hurdle a Vikings player last week.
(Fortunately for the Bills, he escaped injury.) But the NFL is trying to control
what it can control.
The
amusing thing is that after years of people’s complaining that the violence in
the league is causing players to suffer from CTE and other crippling conditions
down the road, many of the same folks are clamoring for big collisions again.
Meanwhile,
don’t expect the NFL to change things this year. It is happy to protect its
most valued assets, no matter how vociferous the criticism becomes. There might
be some tweaks to the rule during the off-season, but for now, expect to see
more flags. And when one flies during a key playoff moment, there could be
rioting.
It
might be so loud that Goodfornothing will hear it on the 13th green
at Pine Valley.
* *
*
EL HOMBRE SEZ: Because the Tigers
finish their season with a series in Milwaukee, Detroit fans won’t have another
opportunity this year to sidle up to the Comerica Park concession stand of
their choice and order a pizza with pepperoni and extra loogie. What a
heartwarming story of a kitchen worker found to have been spitting on the
people’s food…People are making fun of Kawhi Leonard’s odd laugh during his
media day press availability, but they should definitely give the newest Raptor
star a break. He’s in Canada, for crying out loud. It’s already ice-fishing
season up there…Minnesota guard Jimmy Butler, apparently tired of playing 49
minutes a night for Tom Thibodeau, wants a trade, and most of the NBA is lining
up to get him. Caveat emptor, folks. Butler has health problems (knee) and is a
free agent who will want to put up big numbers this year. Let’s hope the league
GMs realize that the goal is to win games, not just pile up fantasy points…The
Ryder Cup is in Paris this weekend for Europe’s biennial chance to prove that
it is better than the United States in something besides history. It’s a great
atmosphere, and the French fans have promised not to surrender unless the U.S.
gets a four-point lead.
* *
*
YOU GOT A PROBLEM WITH THAT? Loyal El
Hombre readers (both of you) remember that a little more than a month ago EH
informed you that the Phillies season was over. Kaput. El Hombre loves it when
El Hombre is correct. Anyway, as the off-season beckons, it is instructive to
remember that the Philadelphia area had four-plus months of competitive
baseball to enjoy but also plenty of questions ahead. As GM Matt Klentanalytics
and owner John “All In” Middleton try to decide how much cash to throw at Manny
Machado and/or Bryce Hairdo, Skipper Gabe will spend the off-season gushing about
how well his guys “presented” throughout the year and figuring out new,
inventive ways to flabbergast baseball fans. If you thought pinch-hitting for
Scott Kingery in the second inning was wild, just wait until Skipper Gabe
institutes Opposite Day, when every member of the lineup has to throw with his
off hand. That ought keep the other guys guessing. Skipper Gabe’s biggest
problem is that he never demonstrated any overt frustration with his team, even
when players like Planet Odubel Herrera piled up the bonehead errors. Sure,
Philadelphia fans have softened over the past several years, as much due to the
Processheads who didn’t mind watching minor league basketball for four years as
anything else, but they still demand some reality when their team plays poorly.
Skipper Gabe just wouldn’t do that, so he was unable to connect with the fan
base. He’ll continue to do the same thing next year, but unless he has better
players at his disposal – and a lot of them – he will be back to his maddening
ways. Of course, if Hairdo and Machado are slugging 40 homers each, it won’t
matter how he or anybody else presents, because the Phils will be a playoff
team.
P.S. The best description of the
Flyers’ new shaggy mascot “Gritty” that El Hombre saw is that he is Phillie
Phanatic’s Delco cousin. Priceless.
* *
*
AND ANOTHER THING: Now that Kelly
Bryant has learned that Clemson coach Dabo Swinney prefers freshman Trevor
Lawrence at quarterback instead of him, he has decided to head elsewhere to
finish his career. Some have said Bryant doesn’t want to compete with Lawrence,
which is preposterous, since he has been doing just that since the 2018 version
of Ronnie “Sunshine” Bass arrived on campus in January. Swinney isn’t going to
play two QBs, and Lawrence is clearly a big talent, so Bryant wants to go
somewhere where he can start. Thanks to the NC2A’s new redshirt rule, since
Bryant has only played four games, he won’t have to sit out next year before
taking the field. Of course, Alabama coach Nick Saban wasn’t too happy about
this, saying that it could become a “slippery slope”. Sure, Nick, it’s a bad
scene all right. College athletes don’t get shares of the millions that come in
to schools thanks to their efforts and aren’t allowed to leave for another
opportunity without sitting out a season. Meanwhile, coaches can jump from
job-to-job (and higher-payday-to-higher-payday) without any penalty. Bryant has
every right to find a better situation for himself, and if life becomes a
little slippery for Saban and his chums because of that, it’s – in the words of
El Padre – too damn bad.
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