Ah,
October. The Christmas-industrial complex would like you to think December is
the most wonderful time of the year. And the office supply companies make a
good point – for parents of young children, at least – that late August/early
September holds that distinction. But sports fans know the real story. It’s
October. Forget Halloween. How about all four major sports – and soccer –
playing at the same time? Throw in college football, and you have a cornucopia
that would make a Thanksgiving table blush.
But
as great as it is to have basketball and hockey starting, and everybody knows
fall Sundays (and Mondays and Thursdays, for that matter) are nothing without
the NFL, the real magic of the 10th month of the calendar comes on
the diamond, when after 162 games (163 this year), we finally get to watch
baseball that really means something. We spend six months complaining about
shifts and four-hour games and pitch counts and A-Rod, and then we get the Real
Thing.
Anybody
who has spent one inning watching a favorite team engaged in playoff baseball,
or better yet World Series action, knows just how compelling it can be. The
drama of practically every pitch and the growing excitement of each ensuing
inning are as delicious as sports can get. It no longer matters whether the
game takes two hours or five, so long as your heart can handle the excitement.
When
those Philadelphia Phillies were on their five year run earlier this century,
El Hombre basked in the anticipation of every game, thrilled to the contests
themselves and then relished the opportunity to recount the result, no matter
if it was a thrilling victory or a crushing defeat. Watching games that matter
in the cold, the rain or whatever – rather than those bone-stabbing April meteorological
catastrophes – with everything on the line, is as delicious as sports get.
Sure,
baseball has its problems. There are way too many strikeouts. A parade of
relief pitchers means the late innings of games have become arduous exercises
for fans. The ever-growing analytics craze has turned baseball from a pastime
into a math bee. And the Orioles were allowed to play 162 games this year.
All
is forgiven once the post-season rolls around. Even the crankiest fans
(shaddup!) don’t moan about long games, particularly if they are taut contests.
Seeing red-white-and-blue bunting throughout stadiums conjures images of days
of yore, when baseball players had nicknames like The Splendid Splinter and The
Iron Horse.
Lest
El Hombre be accused of rank sentimentality, allow him to celebrate the fact
that the Yankees and Red Sawx will square off in an ALDS series beginning
Friday, and that means one of them will be eliminated before the LCS round.
This is a very good thing, simply because it removes one of the most obnoxious
fan bases in all of sports from the post-season reasonably early.
Meanwhile:
Here is how the post-season will break down, now that we have dispensed with
the one-game elimination nonsense:
NLDS:
Dodgers over Braves; Brewers over Rockies. This is L.A.’s sixth straight
division title, so there is no shortage of post-season experience on the
roster. And while Atlanta has had a remarkable season and laid a terrific
foundation for the future, the youngsters just won’t be able to get it done. Milwaukee
gets the nod because of its outstanding bullpen and improved defense. Oh, yeah.
That Christian Yelich character is pretty good, too. (P.S. This was written on
Thursday, early afternoon. Really.)
ALDS:
Red Sox over Yankees; Astros over Indians. Talk about two good series. The
Boston-New York set-to could be a classic, as both teams try to score 10 a
game. The edge for Boston comes in the starting pitching, although it’s
entirely possible either David Price or Rick Porcello (or both) could implode.
Cleveland has spent the past 150 games trying to get its rotation set for the
playoffs, thanks to the other members of the AL Central’s overall fetid play.
But even though the Tribe hasn’t been tested, it will be a formidable foe for
the defending champs. But Houston has too much, especially in a five-game
series, to be bumped off.
NLCS:
Brewers over Dodgers. That’s right, folks. Bernie the Brewer will be hitting
the Splash Zone frequently in what should be a fascinating series. The Dodgers
have plenty of power, but Milwaukee has a lot of everything, including hirsute
lights-out closer Josh Hader, he of the microscopic WHIP and obscene 15.8
strikeouts/nine innings.
ALCS:
Red Sox over Astros. Last year, Houston earned the win over Boston, but that
changes this year, thanks to those potent Carmine Hose bats. It’s tough to
knock off the titleholders, but the BoSox have had a remarkable season, and the
fun continues, even if Justin Verlander pitches three times for the south
Texans.
World
Series: Red Sox over Brewers. The Milwaukee franchise – which started in
Seattle as the Pilots, by the way – has never won a world title in its 49
previous seasons, and it won’t at the half-century mark, either. This is the
year for the Red Sox, and despite Yelich, Hader and the rest of the Crew, they
won’t have enough to derail the close to an historic season. Get ready for more
chowdery celebrations. Ugh.
* *
*
EL HOMBRE SEZ: That was quite a strong
showing by the U.S. in the Ryder Cup last weekend. Let’s recount the fun: Patrick
Reed was steamed at captain Jim Furyk for not pairing him with his pal Jordan
Spieth. Brooks Koepka and Dustin Johnson decided to go all big-time wrestling
on each other at a party. And Phil Mickelson and Eldrick Woods weren’t exactly sur le feu during the proceedings in
Paris. Way to represent, fellas…The NHL is underway, and the biggest early-season
storyline will be whether the ice will melt in arenas around the country as
temps outdoors in a lot of places hit 80 degrees and above. Oh, yeah, there will
be some skating, hitting and lost teeth. It will all add up to the NHL’s dream:
a Stanley Cup finals series between Winnipeg and Tampa Bay. Predicted TV
ratings outside of the two cities? Think John Blutarsky’s grade-point
average…New York J-E-T-S running back Isaiah Crowell feigned wiping his bottom
with the football after scoring a TD against Cleveland in a Thursday night
game. Instead of his filthy display’s drawing outrage, it has brought an
endorsement deal from something called Dude Wipes, a “toilet paper substitute
for men”. In the old days, that was either leaves or newspaper. This could
start quite a trend in the NFL. For instance, Seahawks’ safety Earl Thomas’
one-fingered salute after his injury last Sunday could land him a commercial
opportunities with a company making foam fingers. And the Cardinals could get
some extra dough promoting toxic waste, which resembles their play this year.
* *
*
THE WORLD-WIDE DECEIVER: It’s too early
to pass definitive judgment on espn’s new Monday Night Football crew, but a few
things stand out about “Tess”, “Boog” and “Witt”, like say the fact that they
all call each other stupid nicknames. Then there is play-by-play man Joe
Tessitore’s breathless description of every single play. By shouting each time
the ball is snapped, “Tess” has inured us to his enthusiasm, so that if
something really exciting happens, we won’t be able to discern it from a
routine, first-quarter, two-yard gain on second-and-nine. We get that espn must
promote the league, but there is no reason to create a bombastic soundtrack. He
should just stick to the basics, like following the network’s edict to convince
everyone Patrick Mahomes is better than Tom Brady.
* *
*
YOU GOT A PROBLEM WITH THAT? It’s way
too early for Eagles fans to start worrying about whether their beloved team
will be able to make a serious run at another Super Bowl – or even make the
playoffs – but Sunday’s belly-flop against Tennessee wasn’t confidence-inspiring.
The defensive backfield was fricasseed by a pass offense that hadn’t exactly
been tearing up, and the offensive line protected QB Carson Wentz as if he were
made of granite, instead of coming off a serious knee injury. The buzzword this
week about the team is “urgency”, especially with the Vikings coming to town after
a shootout loss in L.A. A 2-2 record is hardly reason for panic, but the
narrative surrounding the team’s pass defense is not good, especially since it
has made Ryan Fitzpatrick and Marcus Mariota look like Joe Montana and Johnny
Unitas this season. And let’s not forget that the win over Indy wasn’t exactly
overwhelming. The Eagles must get better in a couple important areas, or they
will be sitting home in January, and last year’s championship glow will have
faded considerably. Nothing is guaranteed. Just ask Seattle.
* *
*
AND ANOTHER THING: El Hombre is shocked
– shocked! – to learn that college basketball recruits were being paid to
attend specific schools and that said institutions of higher learning may have
actually known about the stipends. What’s next, someone is going to say that
jai alai is fixed? The hand-wringing over the evidence that is certain to
emerge during the trial of Jim Gatto will be great theater, but let’s face it,
folks, big-time NC2A basketball is a filthy cesspool that features more
unsavory characters than an Elmore Leonard novel. (At least those folks are
somewhat charming.) Street agents, greedy AAU coaches, crazy uncles, shoe
company representatives and everybody short of the Hell’s Angels is trying to
get some of the action. Anybody who is surprised by what is revealed in the
coming months ought to stick to watching “Andy Griffith Show” reruns or at
least turn to something else that is more wholesome, like politics.
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