It's The Most Wonderful Time of the Year

EL HOMBRE KNOWS SPORTS

The image remains indelible for anyone who saw it. There he was, Germany’s greatest gift to Oklahoma football, standing in front a bank of angry Buckeye fans, smiling and leading cheers.

“BLOCK THAT KICK!”

“BLOCK THAT KICK!”

Ohio State had taken the obligatory timeout with 0:03 remaining and clinging to a 28-26 lead. It had been one of the most anticipated games of the ’77 season, and it hadn’t disappointed. The game had everything, from great players, to a pair of legendary coaches, cranky OSU boss Woody Hayes and Oklahoma’s slick Barry Switzer. There were lead changes and great plays. Screaming fans and plenty of drama.

Now, it would come down to one, 41-yard kick. And Uwe von Schamann was standing there, leading cheers as the Ohio State leatherthroats were screaming for him to fail. Like that would bother von Schamann. Here was a guy who grew up in Berlin, was raised by a single mother and had come to America with only enough money to make it to Memphis. The trip to Texas came courtesy of mom’s thumb. Next to that, even the most delirious crowd sounded like birds chirping on a pristine spring day.

After the commercials were finished, von Schamann lined it up – and nailed it. Oklahoma 29, Ohio State 28. The Sooners were euphoric, and their mustachioed kicker was a hero whose accomplishment is referred to merely as “The Kick” in OU lore. Oklahoma didn’t win it all that year, thanks a regular-season stumble against Earl Campbell and the Texas Longhorns and an Orange Bowl debacle against Arkansas and Roland Sales.

El Hombre presents this history lesson for two reasons. First, it is always good to recount crushing Ohio State losses. Second, although the Buckeyes and Sooners did play a rematch six years later in Norman (won by OSU), they haven’t played since. That ought to change next January, when the schools square off for the BCS championship. It should be a bit of delicious irony for college football fans. One team that can’t seem to close the deal in the title tilt against another that hasn’t been able to win any bowl game of late. One can almost imagine the marketing campaign by Fox: “Someone’s got to win!”

That’s right, girls and boys, it’s college football time again. And there is much to celebrate, if only because we’re done with pre-pubescent gymnastic sprites, poor-sport Taekwondo losers and Bob Costas’ perpetual perkiness. It is sad, however, that Count Bela Karolyi has returned to his castle in the Carpathian Mountains. Ah, well, there’s always London in 2012. As the nation prepares for the first big weekend of action, here are some of the people, stories and abominations worth watching.

BCS Follies: The method of choosing a national champion makes Olympic gymnastics judging seem accurate and fair. Perhaps the college football pooh-bahs instituted the BCS to make sure the sport wasn’t absolutely perfect, thereby embarrassing every other athletic pursuit and creating a product more addictive than the finest southeast Asian smack.

RichRod’s Magical Journey: Michigan fans wanted things shaken up, and there was no better way to accomplish that than to replace Lloyd Carr with Rich Rodriguez, the profane, high-energy, spit-in-the-face-of-convention former West Virginia coach. Okay, so the journey from Morgantown to Ann Arbor wasn’t exactly smooth, what with the vitriolic send-off Rodriguez received from angry Mountaineer faithful, to the acrimonious settlement of his buyout from WVU to the culture shock he induced at U-M by actually holding the players accountable, rather than sticking with the Same Old Way and losing to Ohio State just about every year. The Wolverines may fall to the Buckeyes this November, but they will never be bland and predictable again. Anyone wanting a piece of Michigan had better get one now, because in two years, few will have a shot. The beginning of the Rodriguez Era may have been rocky, but expect an avalanche of wins down the road.

Big Pressure: It’s bad enough carrying around the Bowden name, especially these days, when it has the relative strength of the U.S. dollar to the Euro. Daddy is just about finished at Florida State, to the point where they have already installed his successor in the office down the hall. Son Tommy, meanwhile, may have a contract extension at Clemson, but that doesn’t mean a posse won’t be coming his way if the Tigers can’t close the ACC deal this season. For years, Bowden was blocked by his dad. Now, FSU is ordinary, and so is the conference. If Clemson doesn’t win it this year, especially with a bunch of returnees, including QB Cullen Harper and backs C.J. Spiller and James Davis, that extension won’t save Bowden from the hoots of scalp collectors looking to add his to their pile. That means the Tigers had better fix their O-line, because Alabama’s gonna throw a thousand different front-four looks at them Saturday, and confusion could prove deadly.

The Challenge: UCLA took out a full-page ad in the L.A. papers this week declaring, “The Monopoly on Los Angeles football is officially over.” They may not be playing the popular board game in Westwood anymore, but they should be playing “Clue,” as in get one. New coach Rick Neuheisel has inspired confidence and enthusiasm, but let’s be real here. USC’s second team would be a touchdown favorite over the Bruin varsity, and it’s possible the Uclans might win only four or five games this season. Yes, there is reason to hope, since Neuheisel knows his business, and coordinators Norm Chow and DeWayne Walker are top-shelf. But let’s be real. There is still a monopoly on football in SoCal, and the Bruins are living on Baltic Avenue, while USC has a penthouse on Park Place.

Fearless Predictions: So here’s how it shakes out, beginning with the conference races. ACC: Virginia Tech; Big East: West Virginia; Big Ten: Ohio State; Big 12: Oklahoma; Pac-10: USC; SEC: Florida.

Heisman winner: Chase Daniel, QB, Missouri.

BCS Championship Game: Ohio State 27, Oklahoma 23.

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EL HOMBRE SEZ: Let’s see now. Peyton Manning has started 160 games, and he is about six weeks past knee surgery to remove a bursa sac. And you have doubts he’ll start the Colts’ opener? Somebody hasn’t been paying attention too closely…There should be no complaining about Usain Bolt’s exuberance at the Olympics, especially from IOC president Jacques Rogge, who sanctioned these sanitized Communist games and put up no fuss when Beijing officials produced “evidence” that the Chinese female gymnasts were of age. Guess that laser printer was working overtime in the country’s Ministry of Cloak and Dagger Operations. Next to that sham, a little enthusiasm from a human blur is not a bit disturbing…It’s appropriate that eight-time Olympic champion swimmer Michael Phelps will host Saturday Night Live next month, since that show has been taking on water for years…In an attempt to boost attendance among the vast Memphis Iranian community, the Grizzlies signed 7-2 Hamed “Who’s Your” Haddadi. Expect the first “Nuclear Enrichment Night” to be held in November, and anybody who brings yellowcake uranium to the arena will get half off a regular-priced ticket.

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AND ANOTHER THING: After taking an informal survey of Little League baseball veterans, the decision by the New Haven league that refuses to let nine-year old flamethrower (40 mph, the lowest setting at the local batting cage) Jericho Scott pitch is even more ludicrous than it was originally thought. Exactly what are these soft-tossers trying to teach children by having them back away from a challenge? In life, there are people who are going to be a little (or a lot) better than you in a chosen pursuit, and the key to success – or at least self-respect – is trying hard, giving it your all and tipping your hat to the other guy if he outperforms you. By forcing Scott off the mound – and worse – threatening to disband the league if he tries to pitch again, organizers are sending the worst message possible: That it’s best to meet tough challenges by backing away. Sports are supposed to teach lessons, not show kids how to take the easy way out. Shame on the adults in this one, and may they never be allowed to coach any youth sports again.

-EH-