EL HOMBRE KNOWS SPORTS
Back in 1901, when the organizers of the annual Rose Parade decided to supplement their cavalcade of flowers and toilet paper with some gridiron action, it’s almost certain their ultimate goal was to create a menagerie of 34 post-season games designed to reward even the most mediocre performances (Notre Dame) and provide trips to garden-spot destinations like Shreveport, Mobile and Detroit.
Better still, the run-up to that first Rose Bowl – won by a mighty Michigan Point-a-Minute outfit over a Stanford 11 so hapless it waved the white flag after three quarters – included much debate over the best way to choose the best team in the land. After several toddies and blind tosses at a dart board, the Rose honchos determined that combining the best elements of figure skating, boxing and the Chess Club would be an appropriate method. Either that or Russian roulette.
More than 100 years later, the bowl tradition established back in Pasadena is thriving. Some might say it’s completely out of control, given the fact that new “classics” are sprouting faster than hair on John Goodman’s back. Take this year’s kickoff, Saturday’s EagleBank Bowl in Washington D.C. Now there’s a reward for a great season. At halftime of the game, one lucky fan will receive a government bailout, while players spent the days leading up to the contest playing the new Capitol Hill virtual reality game: D.C. Lobbyist. The week’s only problem arose at the kickoff luncheon, when there wasn’t enough pork to go around, thanks to Congress’ insistence on piling it high on every spending package it created.
While Navy and Wake Forest tee it up in prehistoric RFK Stadium, 66 other teams compete for the right to declare themselves “(Insert Ridiculous Sponsor’s Name Here) Bowl Champions.” Ah, the color and the pageantry. The bowl season’s comin’ at ya, and El Hombre has your preview right here.
No Justice: Heavy C and the boys staggered home with a humiliating home loss to Syracuse and a wipeout in SoCal in which the Pacifist Irish didn’t manage a first down until the end of the third quarter. Their reward? A trip to Hawaii, of course. Charlie Weis will bring his unique brand of arrogance and sideline inadequacy back to South Bend for another season, great news for those who want to see Notre Dame out of the national title picture, but not so fine for the ND players, whose poor performance against the Orange was “rewarded” with a barrage of snowballs by those classy Irish yahoos, whose behavior made a NASCAR crowd look like the audience at Masterpiece Theater. Enjoy the Big Island, guys, and try to forget you’re one-point underdogs to a Hawaii team that lost by two touchdowns to Utah State.
Sacrificial Lambs: It seems as if the oddsmakers have finally learned their lesson when it comes to Ohio State and BCS games. Unless the Horrible People are playing ND, the best strategy is to make them heavy dogs, even if the opposition is the Green Party. Texas is a 9 ½-point favorite over OSU in the Fiesta Bowl, which is being played Jan. 5 to maximize the number of TV sets tuned away from the game. After watching the Blackeyes absorb shots from Florida and LSU the past two years, Vegas has taken no chances. Besides, after getting snubbed by Myron and the other computer geeks, UT has some serious motivation. Lose, and everybody will say the BCS system was vindicated, which would be tantamount to naming Britney Spears to head the National Endowment for the Arts. So, until you can prove yourself worthy, Ohio State, you’re a bad risk.
That’s Entertainment: Speaking of Vegas, the savants there found the only way to calculate the over-under number on the Oklahoma State-Oregon matchup in the Holiday Bowl was to take Avogadro’s Number and keep multiplying it by itself until the computer screamed, “No Mas!” When it comes to scoring points, these are two of the best around, and considering the Holiday’s history of wacky offensive explosions, the point total in this one could match the number of calories Oprah’s been pile-driving lately. Enjoy the fun and weep for the defensive coordinators.
Long Time, No See: Vanderbilt is playing in its first bowl game since 1982 and hoping to earn its first post-season victory since ’55, when Don Orr and the boys knocked off Auburn. Not that Vandy stormed the post-season gates or anything. After starting the season 5-0 and entertaining fantasies of winning the SEC East, the ‘Dores blew six of their last seven – including decisions to Mississippi State and Duke – with only a triumph over Kentucky’s assuring a bowl berth. The reward? A berth in the Music City Bowl in Nashville, Vandy’s hometown. Baby Steps, guys. Baby steps.
Be Gentle, Connecticut: While Commodore fans are reacquainting themselves with the concept of football in late December, the folks at Buffalo are trying to figure out how to behave at a bowl. The Bulls’ MAC championship completed a dramatic turnaround and secured a spot in the International Bowl, the Bulls’ first-ever post-season invitation. That’s the good news. The bad news is that a team from Buffalo, one of the country’s worst weather spots, actually has to go north to Tronno to play in a bowl. What, was the Eskimo Pie North Pole Bowl filled up? Congratulations to Turner Gill and the Bulls, who will no doubt enjoy the pre-game tour of the Keith Richards Transfusion Center and hope the opposition from Connecticut is not too forceful.
Why? Okay, so every team that plays in a bowl has the right to feel proud, and the schools are free to use the experience to promote their continued ascension in the college football world. But does that give us any reason to watch some of these games? For instance, there is not a remotely compelling reason to tune into the Independence Bowl, which pits Northern Illinois against Louisiana Tech. El Hombre would rather suffer through a “Clean House” marathon than watch that. There have been some dog bowls over the years, but that is in contention for the worst ever.
Then Again…: This just in from the world of computerized ticket scalping: Ducats for the execrable Orange Bowl, matching Cincinnati and Virginia Tech in the homeliest BCS game ever, are going for $1.25. That’s right, a buck-and-a-quarter. That’s all the evidence we need of the Big East and ACC’s irrelevance this season. In all fairness, the seats are in the upper deck’s corner, but come on, now, $1.25? Now, if you tell EH that the Mike Curb Congregation is performing during the famous halftime extravaganza, he’ll bump his bid up to a sawbuck, but that’s the limit.
And the Winner Is…: If you’re looking for a verdict on the BCS “national championship” game, you’ll have to wait until January, when all will be revealed. Sorry, but that’s just how El Hombre rolls.
* * *
EL HOMBRE SEZ: As if the continuing economic news and tsunami of holiday treacle aren’t enough to induce vomiting, consider that yesterday Brett Favre revealed that this might be his last year in the NFL. After the drama he created last year, that statement should be received with a blizzard of rotten fruit and vegetables. When Favre retires again, it should be done with a terse statement and no weepy press conference. And espn must promise to control itself…Think Nuggets coach George Karl doesn’t wake up every day with a huge grin on his face in the wake of the team’s decision to trade Allen I-I-I-I-Iverson to Detroit for Chauncey Billups? Since the deal, Denver is 16-5, and Karl has been able to eat solid food once again…Deposed Tennessee quarterback Vince Young is suing a pair of Texas men who trademarked “VY” and “INVINCEABLE” the day after Texas won the ’06 Rose Bowl. Seems Young can’t get some endorsement deals because those names aren’t available. Don’t worry, Vince, you can still use “HUGE DISAPPOINTMENT” and “VASTLY OVERRATED.”…espn’s decision to send Stephen Naismith (because he thinks he invented basketball) to interview Terrell Owens was a joke. The softball questions he lobbed were predictable, and worse, he hung colleague Ed Werder out to dry by letting Me-O trash the reporter. In its never-ending quest to create drama, the network has now decided to pit its own staff against each other. The big winner is Owens, who gets to whitewash his team-rending behavior.
* * *
YOU GOT A PROBLEM WITH THAT? The Sixers made Mo Cheeks the scapegoat for their slow start, common practice in the NBA these days. While there is a question about whether Cheeks is a top-shelf professional hoops coach, the team’s early problems are more of a personnel than a tactical nature. The decision by previous GM Billy King to lavish a six-year, $60 million contract on moody one-dimensional center Samuel Dalembert was highly questionable, as was new boss Ed Stefanski’s off-season move to ink Andre Iguodala to a six-year, $80 million contract, with the highly mistaken assumption that Iguodala could play two guard. That assertion has been disproven (again) this season, and A.I. Jr. has moved to the three, displacing promising second-year man Thaddeus Young from the starting lineup. Worse, the big fish reeled in by the Sixers during the off-season, Elton Brand, struggled to fit into an up-tempo style, forcing the team to slow down and stagnate. Cheeks had a part in the mess, since he couldn’t motivate the players to work hard defensively, but this season’s slow start is due more to the team’s roster inadequacies than Cheeks’ shortcomings on the bench. Then again, in the NBA, the coach is the first to go. Sorry, Mo.
* * *
AND ANOTHER THING: Chrysler announced Wednesday that it will shut its doors for a month, one way to deal with stagnating sales and rising costs. The rest of the auto industry is hoping to find a multi-billion dollar bailout under its Christmas tree. Unemployment is at a 26-year high. Consumer confidence is flagging. The investment community has been rocked. And, yet, professional sports roll along as if nothing were the matter. The Majoke League Baseball free-agent market is generating ridiculous contracts, as always. NBC has fewer than 10 30-second ads remaining for the Super Bowl, at a staggering $3 million each, and is showing no signs of offering discounts to get rid of the remaining inventory. Luxury boxes continue to be filled in NFL stadiums, and Citi, which was ravaged by the financial crisis earlier this year, has stayed firm in its pledge to provide $20 million a year for naming rights at the Mets’ new stadium. With so much suffering going on, how is this continuing? Why are fans continuing to plunk down ridiculous amounts of money to watch games? And how can companies that are laying off scads of people justify the purchasing of boxes and club seats? No one wants professional sports to start folding teams or ceasing operations, like the Arena Football League is doing in ’09, but the excesses have to end. Teams need to cut costs and stop treating fans like ATMs. And fans have to stop supporting clubs that continue to raise prices and lavish ridiculous salaries on players. At some point, the madness has to stop. Doesn’t it?
* * *
ONE MORE FOR THE ROAD: El Hombre wishes all of his loyal readers a happy holiday season and hopes your new year is filled with prosperity and joy. And no more drama-queen wide receivers. Or BCS drivel. Or “Manny being Manny” stories. Or rehabilitations of Generalissimo Knight’s reputation. Or…See you in ’09!
-EH-
Showing posts with label Ohio State. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Ohio State. Show all posts
Thursday, December 18, 2008
Thursday, November 20, 2008
The Four Horsemen of Greed
EL HOMBRE KNOWS SPORTS
Outlined against a greenbacked November sky, the Four Horsemen rode again. In dramatic lore they are known as famine, pestilence, destruction and death. They are only aliases. Their real names are Greed, Avarice, Gluttony and Self-Indulgence. (With apologies to Grantland Rice)
The news came down earlier this week and was supposed to be a reason for great joy among college football fans. espn now owned the rights to the Bowl Championship Series, that rotten, flaking rash on the visage of America’s Greatest Sport. Locked it up through 2014. And not just the broadcast rights, either. Nope, the four-letter folks from Bristol will also market the games, assuring proper synergy for the products and guaranteeing a constant stream of BCS propaganda designed to benumb fans and drive heretic ideas of a playoff from their soft minds.
Since the Disney/espn/ABC “family” of networks fairly dominates the college football TV landscape, we can look forward to a barrage of rationalizations for why a contrived, jury-rigged system is preferable to deciding a championship on the field. We can also count on continued use of ridiculously themed weeks of action, such as “High-Colonic Saturday” and “The Final Verdict.” Can’t wait for the cross-promotional possibilities, like “Desperate Housewives Meet The Ol’ Ball Coach.” Worse, we won’t hear a legitimate dissenting opinion about the BCS from anyone with true authority at the four-letter compound, for fear of turning people off from their own programming. If there are four undefeated teams from big-time conferences in a couple years, and only two of them can play in the BCS “title game,” the other two might as well be from the Sun Belt Conference, even if they’re USC and Alabama.
So, we’re stuck with this mess for the next six years. If college football wants to be a joke for the money, that’s how it’s going to roll. But let’s hope this puts an end to the asinine arguments that the BCS system exists to protect the student-athlete. It’s all about the cabbage. This week’s series in USA Today clearly demonstrates how little the academic institutions that comprise the NC2A’s gridiron-industrial complex care about the young men who toil for the greater glory of State or Tech. In an effort to give the illusion that players are being educated, schools funnel them into phony-baloney programs that wouldn’t tax The Three Stooges’ brainpower. Wednesday, USA Today provided several examples of players who were discouraged from pursuing majors that might interfere with their responsibilities on the football field.
Kansas State defensive lineman Steven Cline arrived in Manhattan with a dream of becoming a veterinarian. But when he struggled in biology, the Wildcats’ academic counselor encouraged him to drop down a few cranial notches to “social sciences,” a rag-tag collection of courses that produces a degree in Nothing Much. Today, Cline is working construction so he can raise enough money to go back to school to pursue veterinary medicine. Instead of making full use of his free ride, he came away with a degree that gave him few legitimate skills in a Speedo-tight job market. Sure, he could have fought harder for his dream, but when advisors at the school are directing kids toward courses of study designed to clear their schedules for more football, it’s an indication just how little schools care about them.
It’s all a by-product of the NC2A’s response to the furor that arose over SAT/ACT scores’ determining eligibility for prospective players. Since the test scores were judged to be biased or poor indicators of future performance, the focus shifted to classwork as the main criteria for athletic eligibility. Do well enough in high school, and you can play right away – even if the prospect’s curriculum in no way prepared him for college work. At the same time, the NC2A decided athletes should be making sufficient progress toward degrees, a noble pursuit. There was a catch: since many of them entered school unprepared to do college work, especially with a year-round gridiron commitment, there was no way they could be expected to thrive in traditional major programs. So, schools began to channel players onto the soft track. They enroll in “social sciences,” as Cline and many of his teammates did. They are shunted into “general studies,” a nebulous collection of courses designed to accumulate credits but not develop skills. There are other favorites throughout the country, like Criminology and Kinesiology, which can be a legitimate pursuit but is often a fancy word for Phys. Ed. Twenty-seven of the returning players at Florida this year listed social and behavioral science as their course of study, while athletic coaching education is big at West Virginia (16 returnees).
The good news is that these players accumulate sufficient credits to satisfy the NC2A requirements and keep their schools on the right side of the ledger. The bad news is that it’s tough to translate many of the majors – provided the players graduate – into something that might entice an employer. So, when the final gun sounds, if the NFL doesn’t beckon, and it rarely does, players have spent four years on campus playing football and getting through classwork that has little pertinence in the real world. That’s the real crime, not an extra game or two in the playoffs.
It’s funny, but few people spoke out (former Michigan coach Lloyd Carr was one of the dissenters), when the NC2A allowed schools to add a 12th game to their schedules. And where is the outrage at Washington State or Cincinnati, who will play a 13th game (and in Cincy’s case, a bowl) because late-season trips to Hawaii are exempt from the dozen-a-year limit? There is none. Coaches say the trip to the islands is a “reward” for the players. It really is a recruiting tool that allows pitchmen to sell prospects on a paradise vacation if they choose Fort Knox U. And it’s a drain on players, who wear down as the season goes on and don’t see any of the money that flows in from extra games. And don’t try that old saw about how they get “a free education.” We’ve seen exactly what kind of training they get.
The BCS lives on, thanks to espn, the Pac-10 and Big 10’s Paleolithic love of the Rose Bowl and a governing body that dares not flex its muscles to create a playoff (which it has in every other football division), lest it watch its biggest schools break off and form their own confederation. Try to enjoy it but remember to keep the Compazine handy when the school presidents and ADs start to talk about how the bowl system works best for the “student-athlete.”
You’re going to need it to keep from vomiting.
* * *
EL HOMBRE SEZ: What a shock that Nuggets coach George Karl has no remorse about the trade that sent Allen Iverson to Detroit. He spoke of the difficulties running an offense with a shoot-first (and second and third) “point” guard and didn’t seem to miss the 15-20 bad possessions a game during Iverson’s tenure. Since A.I.’s departure, the Nugs have won seven of eight, and Karl is beaming. Go figure…Wednesday, top Princeton chess players traveled to New Jersey State Prison to play against inmates in one of the most intimidating home-court advantages in the country. All went well until someone noticed that Black-Eyed Johnny’s rook was really a shank…Former Argentine soccer legend and serial bad boy Diego Maradona made his debut as coach of his country’s national team Wednesday, leading his side to a 1-0 win over Scotland in Glasgow. Maradona is making his players adhere to a strict training regimen that includes no more than a pack of cigarettes, two grams of loco powder and 18 beers a day…Hats off to golfer J.P. Hayes, who disqualified himself from the PGA Qualifying Tournament when he realized he had played a round with a ball not sanctioned for competition. In a world where steroid use is covered up, videotaping of opponents’ signals is greeted with a slap on the wrist, and athletes and owners are ever-greedier, it’s nice to see some integrity. There ought to be a statue of the guy somewhere.
* * *
YOU GOT A PROBLEM WITH THAT? Okay, so Donovan McNabb didn’t know there could be only one overtime period in an NFL game. That’s pretty silly. But Philadelphia fans – and columnists/analysts/blowhards – are missing the point about the Eagles QB: he has been rotten of late. You may want to make OT-gate a metaphor for his time in town, but that is simple and off base. On average, McNabb is more cerebral and thoughtful than most athletes who come through here, so his lack of knowledge about overtime is an isolated incident and not proof he should be dispatched to the CFL. More damning is his poor play in the last four games. He has been inaccurate and even tentative, not wanting to run and unable to get the ball to receivers in a timely fashion. He is Exhibit A on a team that lacks playmakers and is not constructed nor coached properly in an NFL that no longer is dazzled by the West Coast offense. McNabb will likely be elsewhere next season, but plenty of his current mates had better be wearing different uniforms, too. This isn’t a good football team right now, and substantive changes have to be made. If that means getting rid of McNabb, so be it. But judge him on his play, not one dumb mistake.
* * *
AND ANOTHER THING: Michigan fans are advised to avert their eyes Saturday when the Wolverines travel to Columbus for what promises to be a hideous beat-down. Say what you want about playing a spoiler’s role or “making its season” with a win over the Horrible People, but there is no chance of that happening. None. Michigan is an awful team with no quarterback and a defense that has rarely played to its potential. Worse (if that’s possible), first-year coach Rich Rodriguez has angered alumni with his unwillingness to embrace the tradition of a program that drips with the stuff. There are some pretty interesting whisperings out there, beginning with the rumor that Rodriguez may end up at Clemson next year, because of his ties to the school and the mutual loathing between him and U-M. A more likely scenario involves the firing of defensive coordinator Scott Shafer and a circle-the-wagons approach to next season. Stay tuned – just not to Saturday’s game, unless you are a fan of carnage.
* * *
ONE FOR THE ROAD: Q: How can you tell an Ohio State fan has a girlfriend? A: There’s tobacco juice on both the driver and passenger’s doors of the pickup.
-EH-
Outlined against a greenbacked November sky, the Four Horsemen rode again. In dramatic lore they are known as famine, pestilence, destruction and death. They are only aliases. Their real names are Greed, Avarice, Gluttony and Self-Indulgence. (With apologies to Grantland Rice)
The news came down earlier this week and was supposed to be a reason for great joy among college football fans. espn now owned the rights to the Bowl Championship Series, that rotten, flaking rash on the visage of America’s Greatest Sport. Locked it up through 2014. And not just the broadcast rights, either. Nope, the four-letter folks from Bristol will also market the games, assuring proper synergy for the products and guaranteeing a constant stream of BCS propaganda designed to benumb fans and drive heretic ideas of a playoff from their soft minds.
Since the Disney/espn/ABC “family” of networks fairly dominates the college football TV landscape, we can look forward to a barrage of rationalizations for why a contrived, jury-rigged system is preferable to deciding a championship on the field. We can also count on continued use of ridiculously themed weeks of action, such as “High-Colonic Saturday” and “The Final Verdict.” Can’t wait for the cross-promotional possibilities, like “Desperate Housewives Meet The Ol’ Ball Coach.” Worse, we won’t hear a legitimate dissenting opinion about the BCS from anyone with true authority at the four-letter compound, for fear of turning people off from their own programming. If there are four undefeated teams from big-time conferences in a couple years, and only two of them can play in the BCS “title game,” the other two might as well be from the Sun Belt Conference, even if they’re USC and Alabama.
So, we’re stuck with this mess for the next six years. If college football wants to be a joke for the money, that’s how it’s going to roll. But let’s hope this puts an end to the asinine arguments that the BCS system exists to protect the student-athlete. It’s all about the cabbage. This week’s series in USA Today clearly demonstrates how little the academic institutions that comprise the NC2A’s gridiron-industrial complex care about the young men who toil for the greater glory of State or Tech. In an effort to give the illusion that players are being educated, schools funnel them into phony-baloney programs that wouldn’t tax The Three Stooges’ brainpower. Wednesday, USA Today provided several examples of players who were discouraged from pursuing majors that might interfere with their responsibilities on the football field.
Kansas State defensive lineman Steven Cline arrived in Manhattan with a dream of becoming a veterinarian. But when he struggled in biology, the Wildcats’ academic counselor encouraged him to drop down a few cranial notches to “social sciences,” a rag-tag collection of courses that produces a degree in Nothing Much. Today, Cline is working construction so he can raise enough money to go back to school to pursue veterinary medicine. Instead of making full use of his free ride, he came away with a degree that gave him few legitimate skills in a Speedo-tight job market. Sure, he could have fought harder for his dream, but when advisors at the school are directing kids toward courses of study designed to clear their schedules for more football, it’s an indication just how little schools care about them.
It’s all a by-product of the NC2A’s response to the furor that arose over SAT/ACT scores’ determining eligibility for prospective players. Since the test scores were judged to be biased or poor indicators of future performance, the focus shifted to classwork as the main criteria for athletic eligibility. Do well enough in high school, and you can play right away – even if the prospect’s curriculum in no way prepared him for college work. At the same time, the NC2A decided athletes should be making sufficient progress toward degrees, a noble pursuit. There was a catch: since many of them entered school unprepared to do college work, especially with a year-round gridiron commitment, there was no way they could be expected to thrive in traditional major programs. So, schools began to channel players onto the soft track. They enroll in “social sciences,” as Cline and many of his teammates did. They are shunted into “general studies,” a nebulous collection of courses designed to accumulate credits but not develop skills. There are other favorites throughout the country, like Criminology and Kinesiology, which can be a legitimate pursuit but is often a fancy word for Phys. Ed. Twenty-seven of the returning players at Florida this year listed social and behavioral science as their course of study, while athletic coaching education is big at West Virginia (16 returnees).
The good news is that these players accumulate sufficient credits to satisfy the NC2A requirements and keep their schools on the right side of the ledger. The bad news is that it’s tough to translate many of the majors – provided the players graduate – into something that might entice an employer. So, when the final gun sounds, if the NFL doesn’t beckon, and it rarely does, players have spent four years on campus playing football and getting through classwork that has little pertinence in the real world. That’s the real crime, not an extra game or two in the playoffs.
It’s funny, but few people spoke out (former Michigan coach Lloyd Carr was one of the dissenters), when the NC2A allowed schools to add a 12th game to their schedules. And where is the outrage at Washington State or Cincinnati, who will play a 13th game (and in Cincy’s case, a bowl) because late-season trips to Hawaii are exempt from the dozen-a-year limit? There is none. Coaches say the trip to the islands is a “reward” for the players. It really is a recruiting tool that allows pitchmen to sell prospects on a paradise vacation if they choose Fort Knox U. And it’s a drain on players, who wear down as the season goes on and don’t see any of the money that flows in from extra games. And don’t try that old saw about how they get “a free education.” We’ve seen exactly what kind of training they get.
The BCS lives on, thanks to espn, the Pac-10 and Big 10’s Paleolithic love of the Rose Bowl and a governing body that dares not flex its muscles to create a playoff (which it has in every other football division), lest it watch its biggest schools break off and form their own confederation. Try to enjoy it but remember to keep the Compazine handy when the school presidents and ADs start to talk about how the bowl system works best for the “student-athlete.”
You’re going to need it to keep from vomiting.
* * *
EL HOMBRE SEZ: What a shock that Nuggets coach George Karl has no remorse about the trade that sent Allen Iverson to Detroit. He spoke of the difficulties running an offense with a shoot-first (and second and third) “point” guard and didn’t seem to miss the 15-20 bad possessions a game during Iverson’s tenure. Since A.I.’s departure, the Nugs have won seven of eight, and Karl is beaming. Go figure…Wednesday, top Princeton chess players traveled to New Jersey State Prison to play against inmates in one of the most intimidating home-court advantages in the country. All went well until someone noticed that Black-Eyed Johnny’s rook was really a shank…Former Argentine soccer legend and serial bad boy Diego Maradona made his debut as coach of his country’s national team Wednesday, leading his side to a 1-0 win over Scotland in Glasgow. Maradona is making his players adhere to a strict training regimen that includes no more than a pack of cigarettes, two grams of loco powder and 18 beers a day…Hats off to golfer J.P. Hayes, who disqualified himself from the PGA Qualifying Tournament when he realized he had played a round with a ball not sanctioned for competition. In a world where steroid use is covered up, videotaping of opponents’ signals is greeted with a slap on the wrist, and athletes and owners are ever-greedier, it’s nice to see some integrity. There ought to be a statue of the guy somewhere.
* * *
YOU GOT A PROBLEM WITH THAT? Okay, so Donovan McNabb didn’t know there could be only one overtime period in an NFL game. That’s pretty silly. But Philadelphia fans – and columnists/analysts/blowhards – are missing the point about the Eagles QB: he has been rotten of late. You may want to make OT-gate a metaphor for his time in town, but that is simple and off base. On average, McNabb is more cerebral and thoughtful than most athletes who come through here, so his lack of knowledge about overtime is an isolated incident and not proof he should be dispatched to the CFL. More damning is his poor play in the last four games. He has been inaccurate and even tentative, not wanting to run and unable to get the ball to receivers in a timely fashion. He is Exhibit A on a team that lacks playmakers and is not constructed nor coached properly in an NFL that no longer is dazzled by the West Coast offense. McNabb will likely be elsewhere next season, but plenty of his current mates had better be wearing different uniforms, too. This isn’t a good football team right now, and substantive changes have to be made. If that means getting rid of McNabb, so be it. But judge him on his play, not one dumb mistake.
* * *
AND ANOTHER THING: Michigan fans are advised to avert their eyes Saturday when the Wolverines travel to Columbus for what promises to be a hideous beat-down. Say what you want about playing a spoiler’s role or “making its season” with a win over the Horrible People, but there is no chance of that happening. None. Michigan is an awful team with no quarterback and a defense that has rarely played to its potential. Worse (if that’s possible), first-year coach Rich Rodriguez has angered alumni with his unwillingness to embrace the tradition of a program that drips with the stuff. There are some pretty interesting whisperings out there, beginning with the rumor that Rodriguez may end up at Clemson next year, because of his ties to the school and the mutual loathing between him and U-M. A more likely scenario involves the firing of defensive coordinator Scott Shafer and a circle-the-wagons approach to next season. Stay tuned – just not to Saturday’s game, unless you are a fan of carnage.
* * *
ONE FOR THE ROAD: Q: How can you tell an Ohio State fan has a girlfriend? A: There’s tobacco juice on both the driver and passenger’s doors of the pickup.
-EH-
Friday, August 29, 2008
It's The Most Wonderful Time of the Year
EL HOMBRE KNOWS SPORTS
The image remains indelible for anyone who saw it. There he was, Germany’s greatest gift to Oklahoma football, standing in front a bank of angry Buckeye fans, smiling and leading cheers.
“BLOCK THAT KICK!”
“BLOCK THAT KICK!”
Ohio State had taken the obligatory timeout with 0:03 remaining and clinging to a 28-26 lead. It had been one of the most anticipated games of the ’77 season, and it hadn’t disappointed. The game had everything, from great players, to a pair of legendary coaches, cranky OSU boss Woody Hayes and Oklahoma’s slick Barry Switzer. There were lead changes and great plays. Screaming fans and plenty of drama.
Now, it would come down to one, 41-yard kick. And Uwe von Schamann was standing there, leading cheers as the Ohio State leatherthroats were screaming for him to fail. Like that would bother von Schamann. Here was a guy who grew up in Berlin, was raised by a single mother and had come to America with only enough money to make it to Memphis. The trip to Texas came courtesy of mom’s thumb. Next to that, even the most delirious crowd sounded like birds chirping on a pristine spring day.
After the commercials were finished, von Schamann lined it up – and nailed it. Oklahoma 29, Ohio State 28. The Sooners were euphoric, and their mustachioed kicker was a hero whose accomplishment is referred to merely as “The Kick” in OU lore. Oklahoma didn’t win it all that year, thanks a regular-season stumble against Earl Campbell and the Texas Longhorns and an Orange Bowl debacle against Arkansas and Roland Sales.
El Hombre presents this history lesson for two reasons. First, it is always good to recount crushing Ohio State losses. Second, although the Buckeyes and Sooners did play a rematch six years later in Norman (won by OSU), they haven’t played since. That ought to change next January, when the schools square off for the BCS championship. It should be a bit of delicious irony for college football fans. One team that can’t seem to close the deal in the title tilt against another that hasn’t been able to win any bowl game of late. One can almost imagine the marketing campaign by Fox: “Someone’s got to win!”
That’s right, girls and boys, it’s college football time again. And there is much to celebrate, if only because we’re done with pre-pubescent gymnastic sprites, poor-sport Taekwondo losers and Bob Costas’ perpetual perkiness. It is sad, however, that Count Bela Karolyi has returned to his castle in the Carpathian Mountains. Ah, well, there’s always London in 2012. As the nation prepares for the first big weekend of action, here are some of the people, stories and abominations worth watching.
BCS Follies: The method of choosing a national champion makes Olympic gymnastics judging seem accurate and fair. Perhaps the college football pooh-bahs instituted the BCS to make sure the sport wasn’t absolutely perfect, thereby embarrassing every other athletic pursuit and creating a product more addictive than the finest southeast Asian smack.
RichRod’s Magical Journey: Michigan fans wanted things shaken up, and there was no better way to accomplish that than to replace Lloyd Carr with Rich Rodriguez, the profane, high-energy, spit-in-the-face-of-convention former West Virginia coach. Okay, so the journey from Morgantown to Ann Arbor wasn’t exactly smooth, what with the vitriolic send-off Rodriguez received from angry Mountaineer faithful, to the acrimonious settlement of his buyout from WVU to the culture shock he induced at U-M by actually holding the players accountable, rather than sticking with the Same Old Way and losing to Ohio State just about every year. The Wolverines may fall to the Buckeyes this November, but they will never be bland and predictable again. Anyone wanting a piece of Michigan had better get one now, because in two years, few will have a shot. The beginning of the Rodriguez Era may have been rocky, but expect an avalanche of wins down the road.
Big Pressure: It’s bad enough carrying around the Bowden name, especially these days, when it has the relative strength of the U.S. dollar to the Euro. Daddy is just about finished at Florida State, to the point where they have already installed his successor in the office down the hall. Son Tommy, meanwhile, may have a contract extension at Clemson, but that doesn’t mean a posse won’t be coming his way if the Tigers can’t close the ACC deal this season. For years, Bowden was blocked by his dad. Now, FSU is ordinary, and so is the conference. If Clemson doesn’t win it this year, especially with a bunch of returnees, including QB Cullen Harper and backs C.J. Spiller and James Davis, that extension won’t save Bowden from the hoots of scalp collectors looking to add his to their pile. That means the Tigers had better fix their O-line, because Alabama’s gonna throw a thousand different front-four looks at them Saturday, and confusion could prove deadly.
The Challenge: UCLA took out a full-page ad in the L.A. papers this week declaring, “The Monopoly on Los Angeles football is officially over.” They may not be playing the popular board game in Westwood anymore, but they should be playing “Clue,” as in get one. New coach Rick Neuheisel has inspired confidence and enthusiasm, but let’s be real here. USC’s second team would be a touchdown favorite over the Bruin varsity, and it’s possible the Uclans might win only four or five games this season. Yes, there is reason to hope, since Neuheisel knows his business, and coordinators Norm Chow and DeWayne Walker are top-shelf. But let’s be real. There is still a monopoly on football in SoCal, and the Bruins are living on Baltic Avenue, while USC has a penthouse on Park Place.
Fearless Predictions: So here’s how it shakes out, beginning with the conference races. ACC: Virginia Tech; Big East: West Virginia; Big Ten: Ohio State; Big 12: Oklahoma; Pac-10: USC; SEC: Florida.
Heisman winner: Chase Daniel, QB, Missouri.
BCS Championship Game: Ohio State 27, Oklahoma 23.
* * *
EL HOMBRE SEZ: Let’s see now. Peyton Manning has started 160 games, and he is about six weeks past knee surgery to remove a bursa sac. And you have doubts he’ll start the Colts’ opener? Somebody hasn’t been paying attention too closely…There should be no complaining about Usain Bolt’s exuberance at the Olympics, especially from IOC president Jacques Rogge, who sanctioned these sanitized Communist games and put up no fuss when Beijing officials produced “evidence” that the Chinese female gymnasts were of age. Guess that laser printer was working overtime in the country’s Ministry of Cloak and Dagger Operations. Next to that sham, a little enthusiasm from a human blur is not a bit disturbing…It’s appropriate that eight-time Olympic champion swimmer Michael Phelps will host Saturday Night Live next month, since that show has been taking on water for years…In an attempt to boost attendance among the vast Memphis Iranian community, the Grizzlies signed 7-2 Hamed “Who’s Your” Haddadi. Expect the first “Nuclear Enrichment Night” to be held in November, and anybody who brings yellowcake uranium to the arena will get half off a regular-priced ticket.
* * *
AND ANOTHER THING: After taking an informal survey of Little League baseball veterans, the decision by the New Haven league that refuses to let nine-year old flamethrower (40 mph, the lowest setting at the local batting cage) Jericho Scott pitch is even more ludicrous than it was originally thought. Exactly what are these soft-tossers trying to teach children by having them back away from a challenge? In life, there are people who are going to be a little (or a lot) better than you in a chosen pursuit, and the key to success – or at least self-respect – is trying hard, giving it your all and tipping your hat to the other guy if he outperforms you. By forcing Scott off the mound – and worse – threatening to disband the league if he tries to pitch again, organizers are sending the worst message possible: That it’s best to meet tough challenges by backing away. Sports are supposed to teach lessons, not show kids how to take the easy way out. Shame on the adults in this one, and may they never be allowed to coach any youth sports again.
-EH-
The image remains indelible for anyone who saw it. There he was, Germany’s greatest gift to Oklahoma football, standing in front a bank of angry Buckeye fans, smiling and leading cheers.
“BLOCK THAT KICK!”
“BLOCK THAT KICK!”
Ohio State had taken the obligatory timeout with 0:03 remaining and clinging to a 28-26 lead. It had been one of the most anticipated games of the ’77 season, and it hadn’t disappointed. The game had everything, from great players, to a pair of legendary coaches, cranky OSU boss Woody Hayes and Oklahoma’s slick Barry Switzer. There were lead changes and great plays. Screaming fans and plenty of drama.
Now, it would come down to one, 41-yard kick. And Uwe von Schamann was standing there, leading cheers as the Ohio State leatherthroats were screaming for him to fail. Like that would bother von Schamann. Here was a guy who grew up in Berlin, was raised by a single mother and had come to America with only enough money to make it to Memphis. The trip to Texas came courtesy of mom’s thumb. Next to that, even the most delirious crowd sounded like birds chirping on a pristine spring day.
After the commercials were finished, von Schamann lined it up – and nailed it. Oklahoma 29, Ohio State 28. The Sooners were euphoric, and their mustachioed kicker was a hero whose accomplishment is referred to merely as “The Kick” in OU lore. Oklahoma didn’t win it all that year, thanks a regular-season stumble against Earl Campbell and the Texas Longhorns and an Orange Bowl debacle against Arkansas and Roland Sales.
El Hombre presents this history lesson for two reasons. First, it is always good to recount crushing Ohio State losses. Second, although the Buckeyes and Sooners did play a rematch six years later in Norman (won by OSU), they haven’t played since. That ought to change next January, when the schools square off for the BCS championship. It should be a bit of delicious irony for college football fans. One team that can’t seem to close the deal in the title tilt against another that hasn’t been able to win any bowl game of late. One can almost imagine the marketing campaign by Fox: “Someone’s got to win!”
That’s right, girls and boys, it’s college football time again. And there is much to celebrate, if only because we’re done with pre-pubescent gymnastic sprites, poor-sport Taekwondo losers and Bob Costas’ perpetual perkiness. It is sad, however, that Count Bela Karolyi has returned to his castle in the Carpathian Mountains. Ah, well, there’s always London in 2012. As the nation prepares for the first big weekend of action, here are some of the people, stories and abominations worth watching.
BCS Follies: The method of choosing a national champion makes Olympic gymnastics judging seem accurate and fair. Perhaps the college football pooh-bahs instituted the BCS to make sure the sport wasn’t absolutely perfect, thereby embarrassing every other athletic pursuit and creating a product more addictive than the finest southeast Asian smack.
RichRod’s Magical Journey: Michigan fans wanted things shaken up, and there was no better way to accomplish that than to replace Lloyd Carr with Rich Rodriguez, the profane, high-energy, spit-in-the-face-of-convention former West Virginia coach. Okay, so the journey from Morgantown to Ann Arbor wasn’t exactly smooth, what with the vitriolic send-off Rodriguez received from angry Mountaineer faithful, to the acrimonious settlement of his buyout from WVU to the culture shock he induced at U-M by actually holding the players accountable, rather than sticking with the Same Old Way and losing to Ohio State just about every year. The Wolverines may fall to the Buckeyes this November, but they will never be bland and predictable again. Anyone wanting a piece of Michigan had better get one now, because in two years, few will have a shot. The beginning of the Rodriguez Era may have been rocky, but expect an avalanche of wins down the road.
Big Pressure: It’s bad enough carrying around the Bowden name, especially these days, when it has the relative strength of the U.S. dollar to the Euro. Daddy is just about finished at Florida State, to the point where they have already installed his successor in the office down the hall. Son Tommy, meanwhile, may have a contract extension at Clemson, but that doesn’t mean a posse won’t be coming his way if the Tigers can’t close the ACC deal this season. For years, Bowden was blocked by his dad. Now, FSU is ordinary, and so is the conference. If Clemson doesn’t win it this year, especially with a bunch of returnees, including QB Cullen Harper and backs C.J. Spiller and James Davis, that extension won’t save Bowden from the hoots of scalp collectors looking to add his to their pile. That means the Tigers had better fix their O-line, because Alabama’s gonna throw a thousand different front-four looks at them Saturday, and confusion could prove deadly.
The Challenge: UCLA took out a full-page ad in the L.A. papers this week declaring, “The Monopoly on Los Angeles football is officially over.” They may not be playing the popular board game in Westwood anymore, but they should be playing “Clue,” as in get one. New coach Rick Neuheisel has inspired confidence and enthusiasm, but let’s be real here. USC’s second team would be a touchdown favorite over the Bruin varsity, and it’s possible the Uclans might win only four or five games this season. Yes, there is reason to hope, since Neuheisel knows his business, and coordinators Norm Chow and DeWayne Walker are top-shelf. But let’s be real. There is still a monopoly on football in SoCal, and the Bruins are living on Baltic Avenue, while USC has a penthouse on Park Place.
Fearless Predictions: So here’s how it shakes out, beginning with the conference races. ACC: Virginia Tech; Big East: West Virginia; Big Ten: Ohio State; Big 12: Oklahoma; Pac-10: USC; SEC: Florida.
Heisman winner: Chase Daniel, QB, Missouri.
BCS Championship Game: Ohio State 27, Oklahoma 23.
* * *
EL HOMBRE SEZ: Let’s see now. Peyton Manning has started 160 games, and he is about six weeks past knee surgery to remove a bursa sac. And you have doubts he’ll start the Colts’ opener? Somebody hasn’t been paying attention too closely…There should be no complaining about Usain Bolt’s exuberance at the Olympics, especially from IOC president Jacques Rogge, who sanctioned these sanitized Communist games and put up no fuss when Beijing officials produced “evidence” that the Chinese female gymnasts were of age. Guess that laser printer was working overtime in the country’s Ministry of Cloak and Dagger Operations. Next to that sham, a little enthusiasm from a human blur is not a bit disturbing…It’s appropriate that eight-time Olympic champion swimmer Michael Phelps will host Saturday Night Live next month, since that show has been taking on water for years…In an attempt to boost attendance among the vast Memphis Iranian community, the Grizzlies signed 7-2 Hamed “Who’s Your” Haddadi. Expect the first “Nuclear Enrichment Night” to be held in November, and anybody who brings yellowcake uranium to the arena will get half off a regular-priced ticket.
* * *
AND ANOTHER THING: After taking an informal survey of Little League baseball veterans, the decision by the New Haven league that refuses to let nine-year old flamethrower (40 mph, the lowest setting at the local batting cage) Jericho Scott pitch is even more ludicrous than it was originally thought. Exactly what are these soft-tossers trying to teach children by having them back away from a challenge? In life, there are people who are going to be a little (or a lot) better than you in a chosen pursuit, and the key to success – or at least self-respect – is trying hard, giving it your all and tipping your hat to the other guy if he outperforms you. By forcing Scott off the mound – and worse – threatening to disband the league if he tries to pitch again, organizers are sending the worst message possible: That it’s best to meet tough challenges by backing away. Sports are supposed to teach lessons, not show kids how to take the easy way out. Shame on the adults in this one, and may they never be allowed to coach any youth sports again.
-EH-
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)