EL HOMBRE KNOWS SPORTS
Earlier this week, NFL commissioner Roger Goodell sent out an intimate e-mail to about 5 million of the league’s customers declaring that labor peace will be achieved, and America’s number one sporting religion will not miss a minute of revenue gathering. On the confidence scale, it was akin to Justin Bieber’s saying he was ready to whip up on Randy Couture. Unless Goodell and his robber baron bosses can get players to accept a longer season, less money and a continued capricious approach to discipline – “The NFL: We care! (About offensive players.) – we’re looking at a work stoppage that could threaten the scintillating mini-camp, OTA and exhibition game portions of the program.
The biggest sham in the whole labor mess is the league’s insistence on an 18-game season. Or at least the P.R. run-up to it. After trying to convince us throughout the last several months that the players’ welfares were truly at the heart of league policy, Goodell and the billionaires want to add two games to the schedule, thereby expediting the future need for joint replacements and adding dozens more opportunities for players to endure the kind of dementia-inducing hits that already have 45-year old former warriors stumbling around like Lindsay Lohan on a bender.
Give Goodell and his propaganda ministers credit for concocting a scheme that has softened up fans in advance of the 18-game season. By fining (defensive) players for helmet-on-helmet hits and inventing terms like “defenseless receiver,” they have made it appear as if safety is the league’s top priority. This from a group of people who denied for years that blows to the head had dangerous short and long-term effects.
It is against that backdrop of hypocrisy that the NFL playoffs begin. Enjoy them, folks, because it could be many months before the big fellas start destroying their bodies for our enjoyment again. Of course, unless you live in New England, it’s going to be hard to derive too much pleasure from the proceedings, since the Patriots are so much better than everybody else that the tournament seems as pertinent as a public service announcement from the cast of “Jerseylicious.”
El Hombre isn’t so addled (yet) that he doesn’t remember the early February day in 2008, when the undefeated Pats lost to New York in the Super Bowl, delighting Mercury Morris and proving that nothing is guaranteed in the NFL. But this New England outfit seems different – and better equipped to go the distance – than did its predecessor. Tom Brady’s rock-star look notwithstanding, this is about the biggest blue-collar collection of successful players in recent memory. When your offensive skill package includes a Gronkowski, a Chadron State product, a double-hyphenated running back and a “star” receiver whose career average per catch is 10.7 yards, and you still lead the league in points scored, you have something special. And you want to talk about a “no-name” defense? Try these on for size: Banta-Cain, Ninkovich, Chung and Mayo. That sounds like one of those law firms you see advertised on local cable stations.
It all begins with Captain Hoodie, who espouses the philosophy that you don’t get the best 53 players; you get the right 53 players. For him, winning football is not the province of superstars but of players who want to sacrifice their egos for the system. That’s why he had no problem jettisoning overcooked wideout Randy Moss, once he went into full tantrum mode. It’s about production, not endorsements, and these Pats have a roster full of bottom-line players who appear invincible right now.
Of course, it’s rather easy to extol the proletarian virtues of a team when its QB is the best around. Brady is enjoying his second-best season (the remarkable ’07 campaign is out of reach), completing 65.9% of his passes and tossing 36 TD strikes against a mere four picks. He has maximized his production despite a stable of receivers that includes no big-play threat and precious little proven depth. That Brady is playing at such a high level is a testament to his powers, as well as the Patriots’ ability to outscheme and outexecute opponents. You may have more star power, but their team is superior to your big names.
That’s not to say the Pats are bulletproof. Baltimore smacked them around in Foxboro last year. The Steelers have shown plenty so far. And even Rex Ryan’s bunch is dangerous, provided it doesn’t fold up again in New England when the Pats start firing live ammunition, or if the coach gets distracted by a pair of sexy cheerleader feet.
Over in the NFC, the Falcons would like you to believe they are Super Bowl timber. They’re not. Roddy White is having a great year, but teams with just one receiver have problems against good post-season defenses. The scariest teams in that conference appear to be the two wild cards entries, New Orleans and Green Bay. The Saints beat Atlanta on the road a couple weeks ago and still have Drew Brees under center, last time El Hombre checked. The Packers, meanwhile, get plenty of attention for their great passing game, but it’s the Green Bay defense – ranked fifth in the NFL – that is the team’s biggest asset, particularly on the road. Don’t be surprised if one (or even both) of them is in the NFC title game.
That’s a few weeks off. Right now, fans need to get ready for the Wild Card round and perhaps the last time early January football will be of the playoff variety. If commissioner Goodwill and his owners get their wishes, this time of year will still be regular season, contusions and concussions be damned. Stay tuned for the next e-mail.
Here are this week’s playoff picks. Get ready to cash in, baby! New Orleans minus-10.5 over Seattle; Indianapolis minus-2.5 over the Jets; Baltimore minus-3 over Kansas City; Green Bay plus-2.5 against the Eagles.
* * *
EL HOMBRE SEZ: So, LeBron James has dubbed Miami the “Heatles,” has he? Clever, but James forgets one thing: People actually cheered when the Beatles came to town. He and his made-for-championship cronies don’t engender similar affection…Don’t know about you, but El Hombre has been riveted to the post-Jan. 1 bowl action. You just can’t beat a Middle Tennessee-Miami (OH) matchup. And that Kentucky-Pittsburgh clash promises to be a real humdinger. Looking for a culprit? Consider espn, which continues to manipulate everything it can about sports to suit its programming needs…Kudos to caring Penn State coach Joe Paterno, who denied quarterback Robert Bolden’s request for transfer. It isn’t enough that schools can terminate players’ scholarships after each season or run them off when their performance doesn’t match expectation. Now, Paterno wants to restrain an unhappy player from finding a better situation. Let your people go, Joe…Rafael Palmeiro is upset that he received only 11% of the vote in the recent Hall of Fame balloting and still blames someone else for his positive steroid test. Tough darts. Let’s hope voters continue to punish the juicers by denying them entrance to the Hall. If that means fewer members, so be it…Stay tuned to this space for periodic updates on the shocking scandal that has rocked the cricket world. Three Pakistani players have been accused of bowling “no-balls” at prearranged times during a test match with England and face lifetime bans. Speaking of no balls, how about that “performance” by Miami in the Sun Bowl. The Hurricane players dressed like they were ready for a forced march to Murmansk and played like they couldn’t wait to get back to Coral Gables. New coach Al Golden has plenty of work to do.
* * *
YOU GOT A PROBLEM WITH THAT? Many media members and plenty of fans are devoting substantial energy to the Packers’ passing attack when assessing Sunday’s Green Bay-Philadelphia wild-card playoff game. While Aaron Rodgers and his crew of sticky-handed receivers are extremely dangerous, the real challenge for the Eagles comes from the Packer defense, which ranks fifth in the NFL and is no doubt frothing at the opportunity to see whether Michael Vick will continue his regression to the run-around QB he was in Atlanta. In a way, you can’t blame Vick’s move backward. He’s learning a brand new way to play the position, so it’s natural that he uses his instincts as a default reaction to new and more dangerous schemes from rival defenses. Plus, since he’s behind such a shaky offensive line, it’s hard to hang in and progress to the third read when marauding blitzers are charging toward him. If the Eagles want to have a chance Sunday, they had better keep Vick clean. Otherwise, he’ll be running around and likely commit backbreaking turnovers that will contribute to an early post-season exit.
* * *
AND ANOTHER THING: By waiting until Jan. 5 to make Rich Rodriguez’s dismissal official, Michigan head coach David Brandon added extra pressure to his search for a new head football coach. Worse, if he truly believed Rodriguez could have saved his job with a strong bowl showing against the SEC West’s fifth-place team, Wolverine fans shouldn’t have too much faith in his ability to choose the right man to replace Rodriguez. It was obvious to everybody that Rodriguez had to leave, and U-M’s ugly losses to Wisconsin and Ohio State proved that. If Brandon needed to see the Wolverines stumble around in the second half against Mississippi State(!) in order to decide Rodriguez’s fate, he wasn’t paying much attention the rest of the season. Let’s hope he was merely trying to save the $1.5 mil that came off Rodriguez’s buyout after Jan. 1 and that he has been compiling candidates all along and working back channels to make the right hire. And don’t think it has to be someone who is necessarily a “Michigan Man.” For instance, even though Northwestern coach Pat Fitzgerald has denied interest, he is definitely considering the spot but keeping it very quiet, due to his current post as a Big Ten head coach.
-EH-
Showing posts with label Rich Rodriguez. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Rich Rodriguez. Show all posts
Friday, January 7, 2011
Friday, October 8, 2010
October Is Beautiful -- Or Awful
EL HOMBRE KNOWS SPORTS
For nearly four decades after Michigan hired a former Ohio State assistant and handed him its cherished football program, the month of October meant the beginning of Big Ten play in earnest and the inexorable march toward the annual season-ending collision with the Buckeyes. Leaves changed. Temperatures dropped. And the colorful spectacle that is Big Ten football proceeded on schedule, with the Wolverines tearing through the opposition on the way to that November showdown. There were disappointments along the way, but the triumphs far outpaced the losses.
That changed in 2008, when Rich Rodriguez took over for Lloyd Carr, the last of the dynastic line that began with Bo Schembechler and also included Grand Marnier Moeller. October, once a wonderful month of conquest, became a time of failure and a symbol of the program’s fading glory. Instead of setting up the OSU clash, the Wolverines fell into the abyss, posting a 1-8 record in October play, eliminating themselves from conference play and rendering college football’s greatest rivalry meaningless before the Great Pumpkin rose from the most sincere patch around.
The first two years of Rodriguez’s tenure have been loaded with enough sins to require a standing reservation for him at the college football confessional. He has refused at times to honor Michigan’s traditions, tried to excuse his team’s shortcomings with barbs directed at the previous administration, lost to Toledo, junked Michigan’s long-standing offensive and defensive schemes and their variations, dragged the school through the ugly buyout imbroglio with West Virginia, his former employer, caused several players to leave the program, brought unwanted publicity to Michigan with his role in shady business dealings and directed a spectacularly inept 2009 season that included a 1-7 conference record and a last-place Big Ten finish. Oh, and don’t forget the NC2A investigation that hangs over the program like a chemical cloud. Michigan doesn’t do probation – at least not in football.
Last Saturday, the first of football’s magical month, Michigan overcame a statistical nightmare against Indiana to subdue the Hoosiers, 42-35, and push its record to a pristine 5-0. Some might say a last-minute win over IU is no reason for celebration, and they would be right, if the triumph didn’t spike the anticipation levels for Saturday’s mid-season family feud with Sparty to levels generally reserved for balmy March weather forecasts.
The win even gave Rodriguez a brief respite from the personal mayhem that has surrounded him over the past nine months. He smiled and seemed genuinely happy during early-week press conferences. His critics have silenced themselves, and attention on the program has focused on magical quarterback Denard Robinson, who has made opposing defenders appear sloth-like and turned otherwise respected defensive coordinators into Barney Fifes with his Hermes-like speed and Mk 13-style arm. A victory over Michigan State Saturday at a packed Big House that has ticket scalpers drooling would remove Rodriguez further from speculation about his future and make those appalled by pending probationary penalties a little less sick. They say winning is a deodorant, and should Michigan get past MSU and Iowa in the next two weeks (both games are at home), they will have generated enough of the stuff to make the primate house smell like the Tri-Delt drawing room.
It’s a wonderful situation, and it comes with enough potential trouble to make even the most optimistic Wolverine fan pause. Let’s face it, Michigan’s first five opponents haven’t exactly been world-beaters. Most of them haven’t been anybody-beaters. In the opener, the Wolverines dumped a disinterested Connecticut team that holds as its signature win so far a triumph over SEC doormat Vanderbilt. Beating Notre Dame used to mean something, but watching the Irish get stomped by Stanford ended that myth. A near miss against I-AA Massachusetts had U-M fans chugging Maalox like frat boys turned loose on an open bar. Stomping Bowling Green was almost embarrassing, and the triumph over Indiana came despite surrendering 568 total yards and a time-of-possession deficit that was a mind-boggling 41:47-18:13.
Michigan’s defense is awful. It’s 102nd overall (out of 120) and dead last against the pass. The offense, while dynamic and highly dangerous, depends almost exclusively on Robinson, who has accounted for 67.7% of the Wolverines’ production. If you don’t think MSU, Iowa and the rest of the Big Ten powers remaining on the U-M schedule won’t be able to concoct strategies to limit Robinson, you’re a bit naïve.
Saturday’s game represents a fabulous opportunity for Rodriguez, who can secure further his hold on the head-coaching job and accumulate more political capital to spend should the NC2A’s verdict be particularly embarrassing for a program that prides itself on never having been punished. It also begins the heart of Big Ten play and a three-game stretch (Sparty, Herky, Penn State) that will likely define the team’s season. Should Michigan go 2-1 and get bowl eligible before Halloween, the drumbeat for Jim Harbaugh will quiet somewhat – but not go away completely. But 1-2 or 0-3 will bring up the same Rodriguez criticisms and give the Harbaugh crowd further ammunition. Richie Rod may be smiling now, but he has some deep, dark waters to navigate in the coming weeks.
The leaves are changing. Big Ten football has begun in earnest. It’s a beautiful time.
And it can turn ugly pretty darn fast.
* * *
EL HOMBRE SEZ: Looks like the MLB umpires are in high form already, and the post-season is only two days old. The missed third-strike call Thursday night in the Minnesota-New York game was borderline criminal, as was the blown check-swing call before Michael Young’s three-run bomb for Texas against Tampa Bay. Replay can only cover up so much incompetence…Conspiracy theorists don’t have to stretch too far to concoct a scenario in which the NFL and espn orchestrated the Randy Moss-to-Minnesota trade. Think about it: the Vikes play the Jets Monday night on espn, Cowboy Quarterback’s team has been floundering and incapable of providing sufficient drama, and Moss has been out of the spotlight in New England. It’s a perfect storm. Don’t laugh; when there are billions of dollars involved, anything is possible…For both you NHL fans out there, here’s a fearless prediction for this season: Saskatoon over Vladivostok in seven. Okay, Detroit over Pittsburgh in six…North Carolina football coach Butch Davis is trying to make us believe he had no idea former assistant John Blake had close ties to player agent Gary Wichard. If he didn’t, shame on him for not vetting his staff better. If he did, double shame for employing somebody capable of damaging him, his program and the school...Let’s hope LeBron James isn’t too worried about Dwyane Wade’s hamstring pull. It’s never easy for a sidekick to see his mentor in a compromised position, so the Heat had better make sure James is properly comforted and assured that he’ll still be able to ride Wade to that NBA title he covets. And playing the race card to defend himself against those who criticized his self-serving “Decision” and desire to gain marketing millions by winning a title on a team filled with stars further amplifies James’ inability to lead. There are a lot of downsides to James’ signing with Miami, but the biggest is that we now have to root for Kobe Bryant, the only man on the planet capable of bringing down the Heat.
* * *
YOU GOT A PROBLEM WITH THAT? Imagine that you are Roy Oswalt or Cole Hamels, the other two-thirds of the Phillies’ celebrated pitching troika, and you are charged over the next three days with finishing off the “happy-to-be-here” Reds. Exactly what do you do to follow what Roy Halladay accomplished Wednesday night? Go ahead, Roy II. Toss a two-hit shutout. Hey, Cole, how about going the route in a taut, 2-1 series-clinching victory? Next to Halladay, both performances would look like CZ beside the Hope Diamond. Had Halladay not walked Jay Bruce in the fifth inning, he would have had his second perfecto of the year and a spot among the sport’s immortals. Halladay’s performance was so impressive because of its stage, the circumstances and the lethal efficiency with which he dispatched the Reds. If Halladay plans on following that effort up with an October of similar dominance, the Phillies may be invincible, particularly if Oswalt and Hamels back him up with solid – if not legendary – outings of their own. In the short period since Halladay’s no-no, he has been called this generation’s Sandy Koufax and compared to Don Larsen, who tossed a World Series perfect game in ’56. The Phillies couldn’t care less about how the rest of the baseball world sees him. They’ll just call him “Ace.”
* * *
AND ANOTHER THING: Even though most people need no further proof that Brent Musburger is a chowderhead, he continues to provide evidence. His latest submission came Tuesday, when he told a group of students at the University of Montana that he thought professional athletes should be able to use anabolic steroids to improve their performance, provided they were under doctors’ supervision. “I’ve had somebody say that, you know, steroids should be banned because they’re not healthy for you,” Dr. Musburger said. “Let’s go find out. What do the doctors actually think about anabolic steroids and the use by athletes? Don’t have a preconceived notion that this is right or this is wrong.” Preconceived notion? About the only physician we could find who supports the use of steroids by athletes is Dr. Anthony Galea, and he’s not exactly in the best position right now, thanks to a federal investigation. Fortunately for us, Dr. Gary Wardler, who works with the World Anti-Doping Agency, was consulted and firmly refuted Musburger’s misguided comments. “He’s categorically wrong, and if he’d like to spend a day in my office, I can show him voluminous literature going back decades about the adverse effects of steroids,” he said. “They have a legitimate role in medicine that’s clearly defined, but if it’s abused, it can have serious consequences.” Musburger may have fooled espn enough to stay on the air with his irritating style and continuous blather, but when it comes to medicine, he had better shut up. What an idiot.
-EH-
For nearly four decades after Michigan hired a former Ohio State assistant and handed him its cherished football program, the month of October meant the beginning of Big Ten play in earnest and the inexorable march toward the annual season-ending collision with the Buckeyes. Leaves changed. Temperatures dropped. And the colorful spectacle that is Big Ten football proceeded on schedule, with the Wolverines tearing through the opposition on the way to that November showdown. There were disappointments along the way, but the triumphs far outpaced the losses.
That changed in 2008, when Rich Rodriguez took over for Lloyd Carr, the last of the dynastic line that began with Bo Schembechler and also included Grand Marnier Moeller. October, once a wonderful month of conquest, became a time of failure and a symbol of the program’s fading glory. Instead of setting up the OSU clash, the Wolverines fell into the abyss, posting a 1-8 record in October play, eliminating themselves from conference play and rendering college football’s greatest rivalry meaningless before the Great Pumpkin rose from the most sincere patch around.
The first two years of Rodriguez’s tenure have been loaded with enough sins to require a standing reservation for him at the college football confessional. He has refused at times to honor Michigan’s traditions, tried to excuse his team’s shortcomings with barbs directed at the previous administration, lost to Toledo, junked Michigan’s long-standing offensive and defensive schemes and their variations, dragged the school through the ugly buyout imbroglio with West Virginia, his former employer, caused several players to leave the program, brought unwanted publicity to Michigan with his role in shady business dealings and directed a spectacularly inept 2009 season that included a 1-7 conference record and a last-place Big Ten finish. Oh, and don’t forget the NC2A investigation that hangs over the program like a chemical cloud. Michigan doesn’t do probation – at least not in football.
Last Saturday, the first of football’s magical month, Michigan overcame a statistical nightmare against Indiana to subdue the Hoosiers, 42-35, and push its record to a pristine 5-0. Some might say a last-minute win over IU is no reason for celebration, and they would be right, if the triumph didn’t spike the anticipation levels for Saturday’s mid-season family feud with Sparty to levels generally reserved for balmy March weather forecasts.
The win even gave Rodriguez a brief respite from the personal mayhem that has surrounded him over the past nine months. He smiled and seemed genuinely happy during early-week press conferences. His critics have silenced themselves, and attention on the program has focused on magical quarterback Denard Robinson, who has made opposing defenders appear sloth-like and turned otherwise respected defensive coordinators into Barney Fifes with his Hermes-like speed and Mk 13-style arm. A victory over Michigan State Saturday at a packed Big House that has ticket scalpers drooling would remove Rodriguez further from speculation about his future and make those appalled by pending probationary penalties a little less sick. They say winning is a deodorant, and should Michigan get past MSU and Iowa in the next two weeks (both games are at home), they will have generated enough of the stuff to make the primate house smell like the Tri-Delt drawing room.
It’s a wonderful situation, and it comes with enough potential trouble to make even the most optimistic Wolverine fan pause. Let’s face it, Michigan’s first five opponents haven’t exactly been world-beaters. Most of them haven’t been anybody-beaters. In the opener, the Wolverines dumped a disinterested Connecticut team that holds as its signature win so far a triumph over SEC doormat Vanderbilt. Beating Notre Dame used to mean something, but watching the Irish get stomped by Stanford ended that myth. A near miss against I-AA Massachusetts had U-M fans chugging Maalox like frat boys turned loose on an open bar. Stomping Bowling Green was almost embarrassing, and the triumph over Indiana came despite surrendering 568 total yards and a time-of-possession deficit that was a mind-boggling 41:47-18:13.
Michigan’s defense is awful. It’s 102nd overall (out of 120) and dead last against the pass. The offense, while dynamic and highly dangerous, depends almost exclusively on Robinson, who has accounted for 67.7% of the Wolverines’ production. If you don’t think MSU, Iowa and the rest of the Big Ten powers remaining on the U-M schedule won’t be able to concoct strategies to limit Robinson, you’re a bit naïve.
Saturday’s game represents a fabulous opportunity for Rodriguez, who can secure further his hold on the head-coaching job and accumulate more political capital to spend should the NC2A’s verdict be particularly embarrassing for a program that prides itself on never having been punished. It also begins the heart of Big Ten play and a three-game stretch (Sparty, Herky, Penn State) that will likely define the team’s season. Should Michigan go 2-1 and get bowl eligible before Halloween, the drumbeat for Jim Harbaugh will quiet somewhat – but not go away completely. But 1-2 or 0-3 will bring up the same Rodriguez criticisms and give the Harbaugh crowd further ammunition. Richie Rod may be smiling now, but he has some deep, dark waters to navigate in the coming weeks.
The leaves are changing. Big Ten football has begun in earnest. It’s a beautiful time.
And it can turn ugly pretty darn fast.
* * *
EL HOMBRE SEZ: Looks like the MLB umpires are in high form already, and the post-season is only two days old. The missed third-strike call Thursday night in the Minnesota-New York game was borderline criminal, as was the blown check-swing call before Michael Young’s three-run bomb for Texas against Tampa Bay. Replay can only cover up so much incompetence…Conspiracy theorists don’t have to stretch too far to concoct a scenario in which the NFL and espn orchestrated the Randy Moss-to-Minnesota trade. Think about it: the Vikes play the Jets Monday night on espn, Cowboy Quarterback’s team has been floundering and incapable of providing sufficient drama, and Moss has been out of the spotlight in New England. It’s a perfect storm. Don’t laugh; when there are billions of dollars involved, anything is possible…For both you NHL fans out there, here’s a fearless prediction for this season: Saskatoon over Vladivostok in seven. Okay, Detroit over Pittsburgh in six…North Carolina football coach Butch Davis is trying to make us believe he had no idea former assistant John Blake had close ties to player agent Gary Wichard. If he didn’t, shame on him for not vetting his staff better. If he did, double shame for employing somebody capable of damaging him, his program and the school...Let’s hope LeBron James isn’t too worried about Dwyane Wade’s hamstring pull. It’s never easy for a sidekick to see his mentor in a compromised position, so the Heat had better make sure James is properly comforted and assured that he’ll still be able to ride Wade to that NBA title he covets. And playing the race card to defend himself against those who criticized his self-serving “Decision” and desire to gain marketing millions by winning a title on a team filled with stars further amplifies James’ inability to lead. There are a lot of downsides to James’ signing with Miami, but the biggest is that we now have to root for Kobe Bryant, the only man on the planet capable of bringing down the Heat.
* * *
YOU GOT A PROBLEM WITH THAT? Imagine that you are Roy Oswalt or Cole Hamels, the other two-thirds of the Phillies’ celebrated pitching troika, and you are charged over the next three days with finishing off the “happy-to-be-here” Reds. Exactly what do you do to follow what Roy Halladay accomplished Wednesday night? Go ahead, Roy II. Toss a two-hit shutout. Hey, Cole, how about going the route in a taut, 2-1 series-clinching victory? Next to Halladay, both performances would look like CZ beside the Hope Diamond. Had Halladay not walked Jay Bruce in the fifth inning, he would have had his second perfecto of the year and a spot among the sport’s immortals. Halladay’s performance was so impressive because of its stage, the circumstances and the lethal efficiency with which he dispatched the Reds. If Halladay plans on following that effort up with an October of similar dominance, the Phillies may be invincible, particularly if Oswalt and Hamels back him up with solid – if not legendary – outings of their own. In the short period since Halladay’s no-no, he has been called this generation’s Sandy Koufax and compared to Don Larsen, who tossed a World Series perfect game in ’56. The Phillies couldn’t care less about how the rest of the baseball world sees him. They’ll just call him “Ace.”
* * *
AND ANOTHER THING: Even though most people need no further proof that Brent Musburger is a chowderhead, he continues to provide evidence. His latest submission came Tuesday, when he told a group of students at the University of Montana that he thought professional athletes should be able to use anabolic steroids to improve their performance, provided they were under doctors’ supervision. “I’ve had somebody say that, you know, steroids should be banned because they’re not healthy for you,” Dr. Musburger said. “Let’s go find out. What do the doctors actually think about anabolic steroids and the use by athletes? Don’t have a preconceived notion that this is right or this is wrong.” Preconceived notion? About the only physician we could find who supports the use of steroids by athletes is Dr. Anthony Galea, and he’s not exactly in the best position right now, thanks to a federal investigation. Fortunately for us, Dr. Gary Wardler, who works with the World Anti-Doping Agency, was consulted and firmly refuted Musburger’s misguided comments. “He’s categorically wrong, and if he’d like to spend a day in my office, I can show him voluminous literature going back decades about the adverse effects of steroids,” he said. “They have a legitimate role in medicine that’s clearly defined, but if it’s abused, it can have serious consequences.” Musburger may have fooled espn enough to stay on the air with his irritating style and continuous blather, but when it comes to medicine, he had better shut up. What an idiot.
-EH-
Thursday, September 3, 2009
The Most Wonderful Time of the Year
EL HOMBRE KNOWS SPORTS
At college campuses across America, incoming freshmen are learning their way to class, trying to cope with doing their own laundry and basically hoping some senior doesn’t hang them by their boxer-briefs from a lamppost in the quad.
Meanwhile at USC, Matt Barkley is getting ready for his first game as starting QB for the Trojans and trying to figure out in which order he’ll be dating the Song Girls this season. Sounds like a perfectly normal freshman orientation, doesn’t it? Or maybe it’s the perfect beginning to the ’09 college football season, which as usual has enough subplots to fill an entire network fall lineup.
BCS Follies: The idiocy has started already, and there hasn’t yet been a major-college snap in earnest. South Florida coach Jim Leavitt, who votes in the coaches’ poll, omitted Mississippi and Oregon from his pre-season top 25. He also put his own squad, which was hardly mentioned on other ballots, number 18. Some of his other choices included Florida State, Miami, Pitt, Rutgers and Cincinnati, all of which happen to be on the Bulls’ schedule. Some might excuse Leavitt’s poor judgment. After all, it is early. But his self-serving ballot proves how ridiculous it is to have coaches as part of the system to choose a national champion. The first BCS standings aren’t due until October, but you can tell we’re in for another season of stupidity. Leavitt’s votes are just the beginning.
I Got A Biiiiiiiig Mouth! El Hombre is no fan of Florida and its prickly coach Urban Meyer, but he will certainly be tuning in Sept. 19 when the Gators take on Tennessee. That’s because new Vols coach Lane Kiffin spent his off-season committing violations, making stupid proclamations and basically cheesing off everyone in the SEC. One of his targets was Meyer, whose sense of humor tends toward that of library investigator Lt. Bookman. So, when the Gators get a hold of Tennessee in the Swamp, things could get pretty ugly. Just remember, you can’t spell blowoUT without UT.
The Year of the Quarterback: By now, most college fans are sick of the hoopla over the nation’s top three returning QBs, defending Heisman winner Sam Bradford of Oklahoma, Florida’s St. Timothy of Tebow and Texas’ Colt McCoy. Expect to be rooting against each of them by the end of September, thanks to a guaranteed avalanche of attention they’ll be receiving. The good news is that there are plenty of other fine quarterbacks for fans to follow, and EH isn’t talking about Jevan Sneed of Mississippi or Oklahoma State’s Zac Robinson, who comprise part of the second-tier of breathlessly-hyped signal-callers. Make sure you pay attention to (in no particular order) Central Michigan dual threat Dan LeFevour, Oregon’s Jeremiah Masoli, Houston’s Case Keenum, Baylor’s Robert Griffin (especially Baylor’s Robert Griffin), Kansas’ Todd Reesing, South Florida’s Matt Grothe, BYU’s Max Hall, Nevada’s Colin Kaepernick and Boise State’s Kellen Moore. All are worth the price of admission and their success is unlikely to be jammed down our throats.
Gulag: Ann Arbor: It was a story Upton Sinclair would have loved. The young men worked long hours in the hot sun, without care for the regulations. Some Sundays they were forced to miss every NFL game in the name of self-improvement. The off-season was the worst, what with the forced labor and mean shouting man. If we didn’t know better, we’d think Michigan coach Rich Rodriguez had studied at the Joe Stalin Football Terror Academy. Instead, he made the mistake of angering some soft players who narced on him and his zealous staff. Did the Wolverine coaches break a few rules and take some liberties with their players? They did. (Wink.) Did they do things that were horribly different than what goes on at every big-time – even after last year’s 3-9 record, U-M is still “big time” (Ha! Beat you to it) – program? No. Rodriguez is in more trouble if he doesn’t win than because of his tough workouts and practice regimens. He didn’t do himself any favors by whimpering at his press conference earlier this week. But Rodriguez doesn’t deserve to be hung for doing what everybody else does. Hell, even Ohio State is sticking up for him. The guy has a lot to answer for, what with the loss to Toledo last year, but this shouldn’t haunt him. Go 6-6 this year, and that’s a different story.
The World of Heavy C: Meanwhile, in South Bend, another beleaguered coach takes aim at redemption. Notre Dame’s Charlie Weis begins his most important season with a clear mandate from the administration: play in a BCS bowl or get busy looking for work. Given the number of bridges he’s burned during his tenure, it’s unlikely too many other places will be looking to hire him, so he had better win. To make matters worse, it appears as if the fans have turned on him. Witness the billboard above South Bend’s Linebacker Inn: “Best wishes to Charlie Weis in the fifth year of his college coaching internship.” Ouch. The bad news for Irish haters is that a light schedule, combined with the team’s best talent in a while, could put ND in that BCS equation – and save Weis’ sizeable backside.
How It’s Going Down: To hear some people say it, Florida will go 14-0 to become the Greatest Team Ever and establish itself as a 33-point favorite over the 1945 Army squad, a 10-point fave over the ’72 USC Trojans and basically have the horses to challenge an all-time all-star team. That may happen, but the Gators have to survive games with Georgia, LSU, Florida State and (one would imagine) the SEC West champ. They’ll then have to get by someone in the BCS title game. If that’s Ohio State, which will likely run the table if it beats USC Sept. 12, then crown the Gators. But, if as El Hombre thinks, it’s Texas, look out. The Steers are ready to make a big charge and win it all. They’ll play better defense this year, and QB Colt McCoy might just complete 80% of his passes en route to the Heisman.
* * *
EL HOMBRE SEZ: Forbes has published its list of NFL teams’ values, and the Cowboys (surprise!) topped the list at $1.65 billion. Wonder if that counts the money they’ll need to spend next off-season to correct the scoreboard fiasco owner Jerry Jones faces. Do-overs? What is this, touch football? Wait until the lawsuits start when players suffer serious injuries from running downfield on punts for the second and third times on the same play…Bloody Sock Schilling has expressed interest in the Massachusetts Senate seat vacated by the late Ted Kennedy. Sounds like a perfect match: Self-serving loudmouth enters the political arena. And if things don’t work out with the Massachusetts electorate, Schilling can demand a trade to Arizona…Why in the world would anybody want to trade for childish Denver receiver Brandon Marshall? He can’t behave himself on the field, and he’s one more domestic abuse claim away from getting suspended. Kudos to Denver coach Josh McDaniels for not tolerating any of his malarkey. Marshall is bad news and deserves to be treated like toxic waste by the rest of the NFL…New Florida International coach Isiah Thomas has finally stopped protesting the identity of his team’s first opponent. He thought the Golden Panthers would face Ohio State, but organizers of the Coaches vs. Cancer tournament pitted FIU against North Carolina, and Thomas threw a tantrum. Take your beating like a man, Isiah, and consider it penance for what you did to the CBA and the Knicks.
* * *
YOU GOT A PROBLEM WITH THAT? Wednesday night, the Phillies proved exactly why they are hardly slam-dunk favorites to defend successfully their World Series title. On a night when hits – much less the team’s calling card, the three-run homer – were in short supply, they had no shot at all against Brad Penny and the Giants. Penny, you may remember, was cut by the Red Sox after a couple months of pitching batting practice to opposing hitters. Wednesday night, the Phillies made him look like Carl Hubbell with their familiar habit of swinging at everything and failing to take advantage of any success they managed. The bullpen is a big reason for concern, but a bigger problem this year is the team’s inability and seeming reluctance to manufacture runs. It’s almost as if the Phillies disdain the scratched-out score, choosing instead to chase the glamour of the long ball. Sunday night, espn’s Joe Morgan revealed the Phillies were last in the NL in “productive outs.” Those are the ground balls that move runners or fly balls that bring people in from third base. Once the weather turns cold, the ball doesn’t travel as far, and the homer total drops. If the Phillies want to win in October, they had better become smarter at the plate, or they’ll be making plenty of hacks like Penny look like all-stars.
* * *
AND ANOTHER THING: Point guard Ricky Rubio has opted for two more years in the Spanish League, rather than play for the Minnesota Timberwolves, despite his professed desire to be in the NBA. Calling any arrangement he would make with the T-Wolves “complicated,” Rubio stayed put. Not exactly the best start to David Kahn’s tenure as GM in Minnesota. At least he drafted another point guard, Jonny Flynn, so the team won’t miss Rubio – except at the box office. Given the situation, the chances he will play for the T-Wolves are slim, since two years from now, he’ll likely demand a trade. Thanks to Kahn’s draft-day gaffe, we’ll probably see the gifted point man in a Lakers or Knicks jersey when he finally comes across the pond. Nice work, David.
-EH-
At college campuses across America, incoming freshmen are learning their way to class, trying to cope with doing their own laundry and basically hoping some senior doesn’t hang them by their boxer-briefs from a lamppost in the quad.
Meanwhile at USC, Matt Barkley is getting ready for his first game as starting QB for the Trojans and trying to figure out in which order he’ll be dating the Song Girls this season. Sounds like a perfectly normal freshman orientation, doesn’t it? Or maybe it’s the perfect beginning to the ’09 college football season, which as usual has enough subplots to fill an entire network fall lineup.
BCS Follies: The idiocy has started already, and there hasn’t yet been a major-college snap in earnest. South Florida coach Jim Leavitt, who votes in the coaches’ poll, omitted Mississippi and Oregon from his pre-season top 25. He also put his own squad, which was hardly mentioned on other ballots, number 18. Some of his other choices included Florida State, Miami, Pitt, Rutgers and Cincinnati, all of which happen to be on the Bulls’ schedule. Some might excuse Leavitt’s poor judgment. After all, it is early. But his self-serving ballot proves how ridiculous it is to have coaches as part of the system to choose a national champion. The first BCS standings aren’t due until October, but you can tell we’re in for another season of stupidity. Leavitt’s votes are just the beginning.
I Got A Biiiiiiiig Mouth! El Hombre is no fan of Florida and its prickly coach Urban Meyer, but he will certainly be tuning in Sept. 19 when the Gators take on Tennessee. That’s because new Vols coach Lane Kiffin spent his off-season committing violations, making stupid proclamations and basically cheesing off everyone in the SEC. One of his targets was Meyer, whose sense of humor tends toward that of library investigator Lt. Bookman. So, when the Gators get a hold of Tennessee in the Swamp, things could get pretty ugly. Just remember, you can’t spell blowoUT without UT.
The Year of the Quarterback: By now, most college fans are sick of the hoopla over the nation’s top three returning QBs, defending Heisman winner Sam Bradford of Oklahoma, Florida’s St. Timothy of Tebow and Texas’ Colt McCoy. Expect to be rooting against each of them by the end of September, thanks to a guaranteed avalanche of attention they’ll be receiving. The good news is that there are plenty of other fine quarterbacks for fans to follow, and EH isn’t talking about Jevan Sneed of Mississippi or Oklahoma State’s Zac Robinson, who comprise part of the second-tier of breathlessly-hyped signal-callers. Make sure you pay attention to (in no particular order) Central Michigan dual threat Dan LeFevour, Oregon’s Jeremiah Masoli, Houston’s Case Keenum, Baylor’s Robert Griffin (especially Baylor’s Robert Griffin), Kansas’ Todd Reesing, South Florida’s Matt Grothe, BYU’s Max Hall, Nevada’s Colin Kaepernick and Boise State’s Kellen Moore. All are worth the price of admission and their success is unlikely to be jammed down our throats.
Gulag: Ann Arbor: It was a story Upton Sinclair would have loved. The young men worked long hours in the hot sun, without care for the regulations. Some Sundays they were forced to miss every NFL game in the name of self-improvement. The off-season was the worst, what with the forced labor and mean shouting man. If we didn’t know better, we’d think Michigan coach Rich Rodriguez had studied at the Joe Stalin Football Terror Academy. Instead, he made the mistake of angering some soft players who narced on him and his zealous staff. Did the Wolverine coaches break a few rules and take some liberties with their players? They did. (Wink.) Did they do things that were horribly different than what goes on at every big-time – even after last year’s 3-9 record, U-M is still “big time” (Ha! Beat you to it) – program? No. Rodriguez is in more trouble if he doesn’t win than because of his tough workouts and practice regimens. He didn’t do himself any favors by whimpering at his press conference earlier this week. But Rodriguez doesn’t deserve to be hung for doing what everybody else does. Hell, even Ohio State is sticking up for him. The guy has a lot to answer for, what with the loss to Toledo last year, but this shouldn’t haunt him. Go 6-6 this year, and that’s a different story.
The World of Heavy C: Meanwhile, in South Bend, another beleaguered coach takes aim at redemption. Notre Dame’s Charlie Weis begins his most important season with a clear mandate from the administration: play in a BCS bowl or get busy looking for work. Given the number of bridges he’s burned during his tenure, it’s unlikely too many other places will be looking to hire him, so he had better win. To make matters worse, it appears as if the fans have turned on him. Witness the billboard above South Bend’s Linebacker Inn: “Best wishes to Charlie Weis in the fifth year of his college coaching internship.” Ouch. The bad news for Irish haters is that a light schedule, combined with the team’s best talent in a while, could put ND in that BCS equation – and save Weis’ sizeable backside.
How It’s Going Down: To hear some people say it, Florida will go 14-0 to become the Greatest Team Ever and establish itself as a 33-point favorite over the 1945 Army squad, a 10-point fave over the ’72 USC Trojans and basically have the horses to challenge an all-time all-star team. That may happen, but the Gators have to survive games with Georgia, LSU, Florida State and (one would imagine) the SEC West champ. They’ll then have to get by someone in the BCS title game. If that’s Ohio State, which will likely run the table if it beats USC Sept. 12, then crown the Gators. But, if as El Hombre thinks, it’s Texas, look out. The Steers are ready to make a big charge and win it all. They’ll play better defense this year, and QB Colt McCoy might just complete 80% of his passes en route to the Heisman.
* * *
EL HOMBRE SEZ: Forbes has published its list of NFL teams’ values, and the Cowboys (surprise!) topped the list at $1.65 billion. Wonder if that counts the money they’ll need to spend next off-season to correct the scoreboard fiasco owner Jerry Jones faces. Do-overs? What is this, touch football? Wait until the lawsuits start when players suffer serious injuries from running downfield on punts for the second and third times on the same play…Bloody Sock Schilling has expressed interest in the Massachusetts Senate seat vacated by the late Ted Kennedy. Sounds like a perfect match: Self-serving loudmouth enters the political arena. And if things don’t work out with the Massachusetts electorate, Schilling can demand a trade to Arizona…Why in the world would anybody want to trade for childish Denver receiver Brandon Marshall? He can’t behave himself on the field, and he’s one more domestic abuse claim away from getting suspended. Kudos to Denver coach Josh McDaniels for not tolerating any of his malarkey. Marshall is bad news and deserves to be treated like toxic waste by the rest of the NFL…New Florida International coach Isiah Thomas has finally stopped protesting the identity of his team’s first opponent. He thought the Golden Panthers would face Ohio State, but organizers of the Coaches vs. Cancer tournament pitted FIU against North Carolina, and Thomas threw a tantrum. Take your beating like a man, Isiah, and consider it penance for what you did to the CBA and the Knicks.
* * *
YOU GOT A PROBLEM WITH THAT? Wednesday night, the Phillies proved exactly why they are hardly slam-dunk favorites to defend successfully their World Series title. On a night when hits – much less the team’s calling card, the three-run homer – were in short supply, they had no shot at all against Brad Penny and the Giants. Penny, you may remember, was cut by the Red Sox after a couple months of pitching batting practice to opposing hitters. Wednesday night, the Phillies made him look like Carl Hubbell with their familiar habit of swinging at everything and failing to take advantage of any success they managed. The bullpen is a big reason for concern, but a bigger problem this year is the team’s inability and seeming reluctance to manufacture runs. It’s almost as if the Phillies disdain the scratched-out score, choosing instead to chase the glamour of the long ball. Sunday night, espn’s Joe Morgan revealed the Phillies were last in the NL in “productive outs.” Those are the ground balls that move runners or fly balls that bring people in from third base. Once the weather turns cold, the ball doesn’t travel as far, and the homer total drops. If the Phillies want to win in October, they had better become smarter at the plate, or they’ll be making plenty of hacks like Penny look like all-stars.
* * *
AND ANOTHER THING: Point guard Ricky Rubio has opted for two more years in the Spanish League, rather than play for the Minnesota Timberwolves, despite his professed desire to be in the NBA. Calling any arrangement he would make with the T-Wolves “complicated,” Rubio stayed put. Not exactly the best start to David Kahn’s tenure as GM in Minnesota. At least he drafted another point guard, Jonny Flynn, so the team won’t miss Rubio – except at the box office. Given the situation, the chances he will play for the T-Wolves are slim, since two years from now, he’ll likely demand a trade. Thanks to Kahn’s draft-day gaffe, we’ll probably see the gifted point man in a Lakers or Knicks jersey when he finally comes across the pond. Nice work, David.
-EH-
Thursday, November 20, 2008
The Four Horsemen of Greed
EL HOMBRE KNOWS SPORTS
Outlined against a greenbacked November sky, the Four Horsemen rode again. In dramatic lore they are known as famine, pestilence, destruction and death. They are only aliases. Their real names are Greed, Avarice, Gluttony and Self-Indulgence. (With apologies to Grantland Rice)
The news came down earlier this week and was supposed to be a reason for great joy among college football fans. espn now owned the rights to the Bowl Championship Series, that rotten, flaking rash on the visage of America’s Greatest Sport. Locked it up through 2014. And not just the broadcast rights, either. Nope, the four-letter folks from Bristol will also market the games, assuring proper synergy for the products and guaranteeing a constant stream of BCS propaganda designed to benumb fans and drive heretic ideas of a playoff from their soft minds.
Since the Disney/espn/ABC “family” of networks fairly dominates the college football TV landscape, we can look forward to a barrage of rationalizations for why a contrived, jury-rigged system is preferable to deciding a championship on the field. We can also count on continued use of ridiculously themed weeks of action, such as “High-Colonic Saturday” and “The Final Verdict.” Can’t wait for the cross-promotional possibilities, like “Desperate Housewives Meet The Ol’ Ball Coach.” Worse, we won’t hear a legitimate dissenting opinion about the BCS from anyone with true authority at the four-letter compound, for fear of turning people off from their own programming. If there are four undefeated teams from big-time conferences in a couple years, and only two of them can play in the BCS “title game,” the other two might as well be from the Sun Belt Conference, even if they’re USC and Alabama.
So, we’re stuck with this mess for the next six years. If college football wants to be a joke for the money, that’s how it’s going to roll. But let’s hope this puts an end to the asinine arguments that the BCS system exists to protect the student-athlete. It’s all about the cabbage. This week’s series in USA Today clearly demonstrates how little the academic institutions that comprise the NC2A’s gridiron-industrial complex care about the young men who toil for the greater glory of State or Tech. In an effort to give the illusion that players are being educated, schools funnel them into phony-baloney programs that wouldn’t tax The Three Stooges’ brainpower. Wednesday, USA Today provided several examples of players who were discouraged from pursuing majors that might interfere with their responsibilities on the football field.
Kansas State defensive lineman Steven Cline arrived in Manhattan with a dream of becoming a veterinarian. But when he struggled in biology, the Wildcats’ academic counselor encouraged him to drop down a few cranial notches to “social sciences,” a rag-tag collection of courses that produces a degree in Nothing Much. Today, Cline is working construction so he can raise enough money to go back to school to pursue veterinary medicine. Instead of making full use of his free ride, he came away with a degree that gave him few legitimate skills in a Speedo-tight job market. Sure, he could have fought harder for his dream, but when advisors at the school are directing kids toward courses of study designed to clear their schedules for more football, it’s an indication just how little schools care about them.
It’s all a by-product of the NC2A’s response to the furor that arose over SAT/ACT scores’ determining eligibility for prospective players. Since the test scores were judged to be biased or poor indicators of future performance, the focus shifted to classwork as the main criteria for athletic eligibility. Do well enough in high school, and you can play right away – even if the prospect’s curriculum in no way prepared him for college work. At the same time, the NC2A decided athletes should be making sufficient progress toward degrees, a noble pursuit. There was a catch: since many of them entered school unprepared to do college work, especially with a year-round gridiron commitment, there was no way they could be expected to thrive in traditional major programs. So, schools began to channel players onto the soft track. They enroll in “social sciences,” as Cline and many of his teammates did. They are shunted into “general studies,” a nebulous collection of courses designed to accumulate credits but not develop skills. There are other favorites throughout the country, like Criminology and Kinesiology, which can be a legitimate pursuit but is often a fancy word for Phys. Ed. Twenty-seven of the returning players at Florida this year listed social and behavioral science as their course of study, while athletic coaching education is big at West Virginia (16 returnees).
The good news is that these players accumulate sufficient credits to satisfy the NC2A requirements and keep their schools on the right side of the ledger. The bad news is that it’s tough to translate many of the majors – provided the players graduate – into something that might entice an employer. So, when the final gun sounds, if the NFL doesn’t beckon, and it rarely does, players have spent four years on campus playing football and getting through classwork that has little pertinence in the real world. That’s the real crime, not an extra game or two in the playoffs.
It’s funny, but few people spoke out (former Michigan coach Lloyd Carr was one of the dissenters), when the NC2A allowed schools to add a 12th game to their schedules. And where is the outrage at Washington State or Cincinnati, who will play a 13th game (and in Cincy’s case, a bowl) because late-season trips to Hawaii are exempt from the dozen-a-year limit? There is none. Coaches say the trip to the islands is a “reward” for the players. It really is a recruiting tool that allows pitchmen to sell prospects on a paradise vacation if they choose Fort Knox U. And it’s a drain on players, who wear down as the season goes on and don’t see any of the money that flows in from extra games. And don’t try that old saw about how they get “a free education.” We’ve seen exactly what kind of training they get.
The BCS lives on, thanks to espn, the Pac-10 and Big 10’s Paleolithic love of the Rose Bowl and a governing body that dares not flex its muscles to create a playoff (which it has in every other football division), lest it watch its biggest schools break off and form their own confederation. Try to enjoy it but remember to keep the Compazine handy when the school presidents and ADs start to talk about how the bowl system works best for the “student-athlete.”
You’re going to need it to keep from vomiting.
* * *
EL HOMBRE SEZ: What a shock that Nuggets coach George Karl has no remorse about the trade that sent Allen Iverson to Detroit. He spoke of the difficulties running an offense with a shoot-first (and second and third) “point” guard and didn’t seem to miss the 15-20 bad possessions a game during Iverson’s tenure. Since A.I.’s departure, the Nugs have won seven of eight, and Karl is beaming. Go figure…Wednesday, top Princeton chess players traveled to New Jersey State Prison to play against inmates in one of the most intimidating home-court advantages in the country. All went well until someone noticed that Black-Eyed Johnny’s rook was really a shank…Former Argentine soccer legend and serial bad boy Diego Maradona made his debut as coach of his country’s national team Wednesday, leading his side to a 1-0 win over Scotland in Glasgow. Maradona is making his players adhere to a strict training regimen that includes no more than a pack of cigarettes, two grams of loco powder and 18 beers a day…Hats off to golfer J.P. Hayes, who disqualified himself from the PGA Qualifying Tournament when he realized he had played a round with a ball not sanctioned for competition. In a world where steroid use is covered up, videotaping of opponents’ signals is greeted with a slap on the wrist, and athletes and owners are ever-greedier, it’s nice to see some integrity. There ought to be a statue of the guy somewhere.
* * *
YOU GOT A PROBLEM WITH THAT? Okay, so Donovan McNabb didn’t know there could be only one overtime period in an NFL game. That’s pretty silly. But Philadelphia fans – and columnists/analysts/blowhards – are missing the point about the Eagles QB: he has been rotten of late. You may want to make OT-gate a metaphor for his time in town, but that is simple and off base. On average, McNabb is more cerebral and thoughtful than most athletes who come through here, so his lack of knowledge about overtime is an isolated incident and not proof he should be dispatched to the CFL. More damning is his poor play in the last four games. He has been inaccurate and even tentative, not wanting to run and unable to get the ball to receivers in a timely fashion. He is Exhibit A on a team that lacks playmakers and is not constructed nor coached properly in an NFL that no longer is dazzled by the West Coast offense. McNabb will likely be elsewhere next season, but plenty of his current mates had better be wearing different uniforms, too. This isn’t a good football team right now, and substantive changes have to be made. If that means getting rid of McNabb, so be it. But judge him on his play, not one dumb mistake.
* * *
AND ANOTHER THING: Michigan fans are advised to avert their eyes Saturday when the Wolverines travel to Columbus for what promises to be a hideous beat-down. Say what you want about playing a spoiler’s role or “making its season” with a win over the Horrible People, but there is no chance of that happening. None. Michigan is an awful team with no quarterback and a defense that has rarely played to its potential. Worse (if that’s possible), first-year coach Rich Rodriguez has angered alumni with his unwillingness to embrace the tradition of a program that drips with the stuff. There are some pretty interesting whisperings out there, beginning with the rumor that Rodriguez may end up at Clemson next year, because of his ties to the school and the mutual loathing between him and U-M. A more likely scenario involves the firing of defensive coordinator Scott Shafer and a circle-the-wagons approach to next season. Stay tuned – just not to Saturday’s game, unless you are a fan of carnage.
* * *
ONE FOR THE ROAD: Q: How can you tell an Ohio State fan has a girlfriend? A: There’s tobacco juice on both the driver and passenger’s doors of the pickup.
-EH-
Outlined against a greenbacked November sky, the Four Horsemen rode again. In dramatic lore they are known as famine, pestilence, destruction and death. They are only aliases. Their real names are Greed, Avarice, Gluttony and Self-Indulgence. (With apologies to Grantland Rice)
The news came down earlier this week and was supposed to be a reason for great joy among college football fans. espn now owned the rights to the Bowl Championship Series, that rotten, flaking rash on the visage of America’s Greatest Sport. Locked it up through 2014. And not just the broadcast rights, either. Nope, the four-letter folks from Bristol will also market the games, assuring proper synergy for the products and guaranteeing a constant stream of BCS propaganda designed to benumb fans and drive heretic ideas of a playoff from their soft minds.
Since the Disney/espn/ABC “family” of networks fairly dominates the college football TV landscape, we can look forward to a barrage of rationalizations for why a contrived, jury-rigged system is preferable to deciding a championship on the field. We can also count on continued use of ridiculously themed weeks of action, such as “High-Colonic Saturday” and “The Final Verdict.” Can’t wait for the cross-promotional possibilities, like “Desperate Housewives Meet The Ol’ Ball Coach.” Worse, we won’t hear a legitimate dissenting opinion about the BCS from anyone with true authority at the four-letter compound, for fear of turning people off from their own programming. If there are four undefeated teams from big-time conferences in a couple years, and only two of them can play in the BCS “title game,” the other two might as well be from the Sun Belt Conference, even if they’re USC and Alabama.
So, we’re stuck with this mess for the next six years. If college football wants to be a joke for the money, that’s how it’s going to roll. But let’s hope this puts an end to the asinine arguments that the BCS system exists to protect the student-athlete. It’s all about the cabbage. This week’s series in USA Today clearly demonstrates how little the academic institutions that comprise the NC2A’s gridiron-industrial complex care about the young men who toil for the greater glory of State or Tech. In an effort to give the illusion that players are being educated, schools funnel them into phony-baloney programs that wouldn’t tax The Three Stooges’ brainpower. Wednesday, USA Today provided several examples of players who were discouraged from pursuing majors that might interfere with their responsibilities on the football field.
Kansas State defensive lineman Steven Cline arrived in Manhattan with a dream of becoming a veterinarian. But when he struggled in biology, the Wildcats’ academic counselor encouraged him to drop down a few cranial notches to “social sciences,” a rag-tag collection of courses that produces a degree in Nothing Much. Today, Cline is working construction so he can raise enough money to go back to school to pursue veterinary medicine. Instead of making full use of his free ride, he came away with a degree that gave him few legitimate skills in a Speedo-tight job market. Sure, he could have fought harder for his dream, but when advisors at the school are directing kids toward courses of study designed to clear their schedules for more football, it’s an indication just how little schools care about them.
It’s all a by-product of the NC2A’s response to the furor that arose over SAT/ACT scores’ determining eligibility for prospective players. Since the test scores were judged to be biased or poor indicators of future performance, the focus shifted to classwork as the main criteria for athletic eligibility. Do well enough in high school, and you can play right away – even if the prospect’s curriculum in no way prepared him for college work. At the same time, the NC2A decided athletes should be making sufficient progress toward degrees, a noble pursuit. There was a catch: since many of them entered school unprepared to do college work, especially with a year-round gridiron commitment, there was no way they could be expected to thrive in traditional major programs. So, schools began to channel players onto the soft track. They enroll in “social sciences,” as Cline and many of his teammates did. They are shunted into “general studies,” a nebulous collection of courses designed to accumulate credits but not develop skills. There are other favorites throughout the country, like Criminology and Kinesiology, which can be a legitimate pursuit but is often a fancy word for Phys. Ed. Twenty-seven of the returning players at Florida this year listed social and behavioral science as their course of study, while athletic coaching education is big at West Virginia (16 returnees).
The good news is that these players accumulate sufficient credits to satisfy the NC2A requirements and keep their schools on the right side of the ledger. The bad news is that it’s tough to translate many of the majors – provided the players graduate – into something that might entice an employer. So, when the final gun sounds, if the NFL doesn’t beckon, and it rarely does, players have spent four years on campus playing football and getting through classwork that has little pertinence in the real world. That’s the real crime, not an extra game or two in the playoffs.
It’s funny, but few people spoke out (former Michigan coach Lloyd Carr was one of the dissenters), when the NC2A allowed schools to add a 12th game to their schedules. And where is the outrage at Washington State or Cincinnati, who will play a 13th game (and in Cincy’s case, a bowl) because late-season trips to Hawaii are exempt from the dozen-a-year limit? There is none. Coaches say the trip to the islands is a “reward” for the players. It really is a recruiting tool that allows pitchmen to sell prospects on a paradise vacation if they choose Fort Knox U. And it’s a drain on players, who wear down as the season goes on and don’t see any of the money that flows in from extra games. And don’t try that old saw about how they get “a free education.” We’ve seen exactly what kind of training they get.
The BCS lives on, thanks to espn, the Pac-10 and Big 10’s Paleolithic love of the Rose Bowl and a governing body that dares not flex its muscles to create a playoff (which it has in every other football division), lest it watch its biggest schools break off and form their own confederation. Try to enjoy it but remember to keep the Compazine handy when the school presidents and ADs start to talk about how the bowl system works best for the “student-athlete.”
You’re going to need it to keep from vomiting.
* * *
EL HOMBRE SEZ: What a shock that Nuggets coach George Karl has no remorse about the trade that sent Allen Iverson to Detroit. He spoke of the difficulties running an offense with a shoot-first (and second and third) “point” guard and didn’t seem to miss the 15-20 bad possessions a game during Iverson’s tenure. Since A.I.’s departure, the Nugs have won seven of eight, and Karl is beaming. Go figure…Wednesday, top Princeton chess players traveled to New Jersey State Prison to play against inmates in one of the most intimidating home-court advantages in the country. All went well until someone noticed that Black-Eyed Johnny’s rook was really a shank…Former Argentine soccer legend and serial bad boy Diego Maradona made his debut as coach of his country’s national team Wednesday, leading his side to a 1-0 win over Scotland in Glasgow. Maradona is making his players adhere to a strict training regimen that includes no more than a pack of cigarettes, two grams of loco powder and 18 beers a day…Hats off to golfer J.P. Hayes, who disqualified himself from the PGA Qualifying Tournament when he realized he had played a round with a ball not sanctioned for competition. In a world where steroid use is covered up, videotaping of opponents’ signals is greeted with a slap on the wrist, and athletes and owners are ever-greedier, it’s nice to see some integrity. There ought to be a statue of the guy somewhere.
* * *
YOU GOT A PROBLEM WITH THAT? Okay, so Donovan McNabb didn’t know there could be only one overtime period in an NFL game. That’s pretty silly. But Philadelphia fans – and columnists/analysts/blowhards – are missing the point about the Eagles QB: he has been rotten of late. You may want to make OT-gate a metaphor for his time in town, but that is simple and off base. On average, McNabb is more cerebral and thoughtful than most athletes who come through here, so his lack of knowledge about overtime is an isolated incident and not proof he should be dispatched to the CFL. More damning is his poor play in the last four games. He has been inaccurate and even tentative, not wanting to run and unable to get the ball to receivers in a timely fashion. He is Exhibit A on a team that lacks playmakers and is not constructed nor coached properly in an NFL that no longer is dazzled by the West Coast offense. McNabb will likely be elsewhere next season, but plenty of his current mates had better be wearing different uniforms, too. This isn’t a good football team right now, and substantive changes have to be made. If that means getting rid of McNabb, so be it. But judge him on his play, not one dumb mistake.
* * *
AND ANOTHER THING: Michigan fans are advised to avert their eyes Saturday when the Wolverines travel to Columbus for what promises to be a hideous beat-down. Say what you want about playing a spoiler’s role or “making its season” with a win over the Horrible People, but there is no chance of that happening. None. Michigan is an awful team with no quarterback and a defense that has rarely played to its potential. Worse (if that’s possible), first-year coach Rich Rodriguez has angered alumni with his unwillingness to embrace the tradition of a program that drips with the stuff. There are some pretty interesting whisperings out there, beginning with the rumor that Rodriguez may end up at Clemson next year, because of his ties to the school and the mutual loathing between him and U-M. A more likely scenario involves the firing of defensive coordinator Scott Shafer and a circle-the-wagons approach to next season. Stay tuned – just not to Saturday’s game, unless you are a fan of carnage.
* * *
ONE FOR THE ROAD: Q: How can you tell an Ohio State fan has a girlfriend? A: There’s tobacco juice on both the driver and passenger’s doors of the pickup.
-EH-
Friday, August 29, 2008
It's The Most Wonderful Time of the Year
EL HOMBRE KNOWS SPORTS
The image remains indelible for anyone who saw it. There he was, Germany’s greatest gift to Oklahoma football, standing in front a bank of angry Buckeye fans, smiling and leading cheers.
“BLOCK THAT KICK!”
“BLOCK THAT KICK!”
Ohio State had taken the obligatory timeout with 0:03 remaining and clinging to a 28-26 lead. It had been one of the most anticipated games of the ’77 season, and it hadn’t disappointed. The game had everything, from great players, to a pair of legendary coaches, cranky OSU boss Woody Hayes and Oklahoma’s slick Barry Switzer. There were lead changes and great plays. Screaming fans and plenty of drama.
Now, it would come down to one, 41-yard kick. And Uwe von Schamann was standing there, leading cheers as the Ohio State leatherthroats were screaming for him to fail. Like that would bother von Schamann. Here was a guy who grew up in Berlin, was raised by a single mother and had come to America with only enough money to make it to Memphis. The trip to Texas came courtesy of mom’s thumb. Next to that, even the most delirious crowd sounded like birds chirping on a pristine spring day.
After the commercials were finished, von Schamann lined it up – and nailed it. Oklahoma 29, Ohio State 28. The Sooners were euphoric, and their mustachioed kicker was a hero whose accomplishment is referred to merely as “The Kick” in OU lore. Oklahoma didn’t win it all that year, thanks a regular-season stumble against Earl Campbell and the Texas Longhorns and an Orange Bowl debacle against Arkansas and Roland Sales.
El Hombre presents this history lesson for two reasons. First, it is always good to recount crushing Ohio State losses. Second, although the Buckeyes and Sooners did play a rematch six years later in Norman (won by OSU), they haven’t played since. That ought to change next January, when the schools square off for the BCS championship. It should be a bit of delicious irony for college football fans. One team that can’t seem to close the deal in the title tilt against another that hasn’t been able to win any bowl game of late. One can almost imagine the marketing campaign by Fox: “Someone’s got to win!”
That’s right, girls and boys, it’s college football time again. And there is much to celebrate, if only because we’re done with pre-pubescent gymnastic sprites, poor-sport Taekwondo losers and Bob Costas’ perpetual perkiness. It is sad, however, that Count Bela Karolyi has returned to his castle in the Carpathian Mountains. Ah, well, there’s always London in 2012. As the nation prepares for the first big weekend of action, here are some of the people, stories and abominations worth watching.
BCS Follies: The method of choosing a national champion makes Olympic gymnastics judging seem accurate and fair. Perhaps the college football pooh-bahs instituted the BCS to make sure the sport wasn’t absolutely perfect, thereby embarrassing every other athletic pursuit and creating a product more addictive than the finest southeast Asian smack.
RichRod’s Magical Journey: Michigan fans wanted things shaken up, and there was no better way to accomplish that than to replace Lloyd Carr with Rich Rodriguez, the profane, high-energy, spit-in-the-face-of-convention former West Virginia coach. Okay, so the journey from Morgantown to Ann Arbor wasn’t exactly smooth, what with the vitriolic send-off Rodriguez received from angry Mountaineer faithful, to the acrimonious settlement of his buyout from WVU to the culture shock he induced at U-M by actually holding the players accountable, rather than sticking with the Same Old Way and losing to Ohio State just about every year. The Wolverines may fall to the Buckeyes this November, but they will never be bland and predictable again. Anyone wanting a piece of Michigan had better get one now, because in two years, few will have a shot. The beginning of the Rodriguez Era may have been rocky, but expect an avalanche of wins down the road.
Big Pressure: It’s bad enough carrying around the Bowden name, especially these days, when it has the relative strength of the U.S. dollar to the Euro. Daddy is just about finished at Florida State, to the point where they have already installed his successor in the office down the hall. Son Tommy, meanwhile, may have a contract extension at Clemson, but that doesn’t mean a posse won’t be coming his way if the Tigers can’t close the ACC deal this season. For years, Bowden was blocked by his dad. Now, FSU is ordinary, and so is the conference. If Clemson doesn’t win it this year, especially with a bunch of returnees, including QB Cullen Harper and backs C.J. Spiller and James Davis, that extension won’t save Bowden from the hoots of scalp collectors looking to add his to their pile. That means the Tigers had better fix their O-line, because Alabama’s gonna throw a thousand different front-four looks at them Saturday, and confusion could prove deadly.
The Challenge: UCLA took out a full-page ad in the L.A. papers this week declaring, “The Monopoly on Los Angeles football is officially over.” They may not be playing the popular board game in Westwood anymore, but they should be playing “Clue,” as in get one. New coach Rick Neuheisel has inspired confidence and enthusiasm, but let’s be real here. USC’s second team would be a touchdown favorite over the Bruin varsity, and it’s possible the Uclans might win only four or five games this season. Yes, there is reason to hope, since Neuheisel knows his business, and coordinators Norm Chow and DeWayne Walker are top-shelf. But let’s be real. There is still a monopoly on football in SoCal, and the Bruins are living on Baltic Avenue, while USC has a penthouse on Park Place.
Fearless Predictions: So here’s how it shakes out, beginning with the conference races. ACC: Virginia Tech; Big East: West Virginia; Big Ten: Ohio State; Big 12: Oklahoma; Pac-10: USC; SEC: Florida.
Heisman winner: Chase Daniel, QB, Missouri.
BCS Championship Game: Ohio State 27, Oklahoma 23.
* * *
EL HOMBRE SEZ: Let’s see now. Peyton Manning has started 160 games, and he is about six weeks past knee surgery to remove a bursa sac. And you have doubts he’ll start the Colts’ opener? Somebody hasn’t been paying attention too closely…There should be no complaining about Usain Bolt’s exuberance at the Olympics, especially from IOC president Jacques Rogge, who sanctioned these sanitized Communist games and put up no fuss when Beijing officials produced “evidence” that the Chinese female gymnasts were of age. Guess that laser printer was working overtime in the country’s Ministry of Cloak and Dagger Operations. Next to that sham, a little enthusiasm from a human blur is not a bit disturbing…It’s appropriate that eight-time Olympic champion swimmer Michael Phelps will host Saturday Night Live next month, since that show has been taking on water for years…In an attempt to boost attendance among the vast Memphis Iranian community, the Grizzlies signed 7-2 Hamed “Who’s Your” Haddadi. Expect the first “Nuclear Enrichment Night” to be held in November, and anybody who brings yellowcake uranium to the arena will get half off a regular-priced ticket.
* * *
AND ANOTHER THING: After taking an informal survey of Little League baseball veterans, the decision by the New Haven league that refuses to let nine-year old flamethrower (40 mph, the lowest setting at the local batting cage) Jericho Scott pitch is even more ludicrous than it was originally thought. Exactly what are these soft-tossers trying to teach children by having them back away from a challenge? In life, there are people who are going to be a little (or a lot) better than you in a chosen pursuit, and the key to success – or at least self-respect – is trying hard, giving it your all and tipping your hat to the other guy if he outperforms you. By forcing Scott off the mound – and worse – threatening to disband the league if he tries to pitch again, organizers are sending the worst message possible: That it’s best to meet tough challenges by backing away. Sports are supposed to teach lessons, not show kids how to take the easy way out. Shame on the adults in this one, and may they never be allowed to coach any youth sports again.
-EH-
The image remains indelible for anyone who saw it. There he was, Germany’s greatest gift to Oklahoma football, standing in front a bank of angry Buckeye fans, smiling and leading cheers.
“BLOCK THAT KICK!”
“BLOCK THAT KICK!”
Ohio State had taken the obligatory timeout with 0:03 remaining and clinging to a 28-26 lead. It had been one of the most anticipated games of the ’77 season, and it hadn’t disappointed. The game had everything, from great players, to a pair of legendary coaches, cranky OSU boss Woody Hayes and Oklahoma’s slick Barry Switzer. There were lead changes and great plays. Screaming fans and plenty of drama.
Now, it would come down to one, 41-yard kick. And Uwe von Schamann was standing there, leading cheers as the Ohio State leatherthroats were screaming for him to fail. Like that would bother von Schamann. Here was a guy who grew up in Berlin, was raised by a single mother and had come to America with only enough money to make it to Memphis. The trip to Texas came courtesy of mom’s thumb. Next to that, even the most delirious crowd sounded like birds chirping on a pristine spring day.
After the commercials were finished, von Schamann lined it up – and nailed it. Oklahoma 29, Ohio State 28. The Sooners were euphoric, and their mustachioed kicker was a hero whose accomplishment is referred to merely as “The Kick” in OU lore. Oklahoma didn’t win it all that year, thanks a regular-season stumble against Earl Campbell and the Texas Longhorns and an Orange Bowl debacle against Arkansas and Roland Sales.
El Hombre presents this history lesson for two reasons. First, it is always good to recount crushing Ohio State losses. Second, although the Buckeyes and Sooners did play a rematch six years later in Norman (won by OSU), they haven’t played since. That ought to change next January, when the schools square off for the BCS championship. It should be a bit of delicious irony for college football fans. One team that can’t seem to close the deal in the title tilt against another that hasn’t been able to win any bowl game of late. One can almost imagine the marketing campaign by Fox: “Someone’s got to win!”
That’s right, girls and boys, it’s college football time again. And there is much to celebrate, if only because we’re done with pre-pubescent gymnastic sprites, poor-sport Taekwondo losers and Bob Costas’ perpetual perkiness. It is sad, however, that Count Bela Karolyi has returned to his castle in the Carpathian Mountains. Ah, well, there’s always London in 2012. As the nation prepares for the first big weekend of action, here are some of the people, stories and abominations worth watching.
BCS Follies: The method of choosing a national champion makes Olympic gymnastics judging seem accurate and fair. Perhaps the college football pooh-bahs instituted the BCS to make sure the sport wasn’t absolutely perfect, thereby embarrassing every other athletic pursuit and creating a product more addictive than the finest southeast Asian smack.
RichRod’s Magical Journey: Michigan fans wanted things shaken up, and there was no better way to accomplish that than to replace Lloyd Carr with Rich Rodriguez, the profane, high-energy, spit-in-the-face-of-convention former West Virginia coach. Okay, so the journey from Morgantown to Ann Arbor wasn’t exactly smooth, what with the vitriolic send-off Rodriguez received from angry Mountaineer faithful, to the acrimonious settlement of his buyout from WVU to the culture shock he induced at U-M by actually holding the players accountable, rather than sticking with the Same Old Way and losing to Ohio State just about every year. The Wolverines may fall to the Buckeyes this November, but they will never be bland and predictable again. Anyone wanting a piece of Michigan had better get one now, because in two years, few will have a shot. The beginning of the Rodriguez Era may have been rocky, but expect an avalanche of wins down the road.
Big Pressure: It’s bad enough carrying around the Bowden name, especially these days, when it has the relative strength of the U.S. dollar to the Euro. Daddy is just about finished at Florida State, to the point where they have already installed his successor in the office down the hall. Son Tommy, meanwhile, may have a contract extension at Clemson, but that doesn’t mean a posse won’t be coming his way if the Tigers can’t close the ACC deal this season. For years, Bowden was blocked by his dad. Now, FSU is ordinary, and so is the conference. If Clemson doesn’t win it this year, especially with a bunch of returnees, including QB Cullen Harper and backs C.J. Spiller and James Davis, that extension won’t save Bowden from the hoots of scalp collectors looking to add his to their pile. That means the Tigers had better fix their O-line, because Alabama’s gonna throw a thousand different front-four looks at them Saturday, and confusion could prove deadly.
The Challenge: UCLA took out a full-page ad in the L.A. papers this week declaring, “The Monopoly on Los Angeles football is officially over.” They may not be playing the popular board game in Westwood anymore, but they should be playing “Clue,” as in get one. New coach Rick Neuheisel has inspired confidence and enthusiasm, but let’s be real here. USC’s second team would be a touchdown favorite over the Bruin varsity, and it’s possible the Uclans might win only four or five games this season. Yes, there is reason to hope, since Neuheisel knows his business, and coordinators Norm Chow and DeWayne Walker are top-shelf. But let’s be real. There is still a monopoly on football in SoCal, and the Bruins are living on Baltic Avenue, while USC has a penthouse on Park Place.
Fearless Predictions: So here’s how it shakes out, beginning with the conference races. ACC: Virginia Tech; Big East: West Virginia; Big Ten: Ohio State; Big 12: Oklahoma; Pac-10: USC; SEC: Florida.
Heisman winner: Chase Daniel, QB, Missouri.
BCS Championship Game: Ohio State 27, Oklahoma 23.
* * *
EL HOMBRE SEZ: Let’s see now. Peyton Manning has started 160 games, and he is about six weeks past knee surgery to remove a bursa sac. And you have doubts he’ll start the Colts’ opener? Somebody hasn’t been paying attention too closely…There should be no complaining about Usain Bolt’s exuberance at the Olympics, especially from IOC president Jacques Rogge, who sanctioned these sanitized Communist games and put up no fuss when Beijing officials produced “evidence” that the Chinese female gymnasts were of age. Guess that laser printer was working overtime in the country’s Ministry of Cloak and Dagger Operations. Next to that sham, a little enthusiasm from a human blur is not a bit disturbing…It’s appropriate that eight-time Olympic champion swimmer Michael Phelps will host Saturday Night Live next month, since that show has been taking on water for years…In an attempt to boost attendance among the vast Memphis Iranian community, the Grizzlies signed 7-2 Hamed “Who’s Your” Haddadi. Expect the first “Nuclear Enrichment Night” to be held in November, and anybody who brings yellowcake uranium to the arena will get half off a regular-priced ticket.
* * *
AND ANOTHER THING: After taking an informal survey of Little League baseball veterans, the decision by the New Haven league that refuses to let nine-year old flamethrower (40 mph, the lowest setting at the local batting cage) Jericho Scott pitch is even more ludicrous than it was originally thought. Exactly what are these soft-tossers trying to teach children by having them back away from a challenge? In life, there are people who are going to be a little (or a lot) better than you in a chosen pursuit, and the key to success – or at least self-respect – is trying hard, giving it your all and tipping your hat to the other guy if he outperforms you. By forcing Scott off the mound – and worse – threatening to disband the league if he tries to pitch again, organizers are sending the worst message possible: That it’s best to meet tough challenges by backing away. Sports are supposed to teach lessons, not show kids how to take the easy way out. Shame on the adults in this one, and may they never be allowed to coach any youth sports again.
-EH-
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